dream days-第27章
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accustomed to doze peacefully the long night through。 In days of
old each of us in turn had been jerked thrillingly round the room
on his precarious back; had dug our heels into his unyielding
sides; and had scratched our hands on the tin tacks that
secured his mane to his stiffly…curving neck。 Later; with
increasing stature; we came to overlook his merits as a beast of
burden; but how frankly; how good…naturedly; he had recognized
the new conditions; and adapted himself to them without a murmur!
When the military spirit was abroad; who so ready to be a
squadron of cavalry; a horde of Cossacks; or artillery pounding
into position? He had even served with honour as a gun…boat;
during a period when naval strategy was the only theme; and no
false equine pride ever hindered him from taking the part of a
roaring locomotive; earth…shaking; clangorous; annihilating time
and space。 Really it was no longer clear how life; with its
manifold emergencies; was to be carried on at all without a
fellow like the spotty horse; ready to step in at critical
moments and take up just the part required of him。
In moments of mental depression; nothing is quite so
consoling as the honest smell of a painted animal; and
mechanically I turned towards the shelf that had been so long the
Ararat of our weather…beaten Ark。 The shelf was empty; the Ark
had cast off moorings and sailed away to Poplar; and had taken
with it its haunting smell; as well as that pleasant sense of
disorder that the best conducted Ark is always able to impart。
The sliding roof had rarely been known to close entirely。 There
was always a pair of giraffe…legs sticking out; or an elephant…
trunk; taking from the stiffness of its outline; and reminding us
that our motley crowd of friends inside were uncomfortably
cramped for room and only too ready to leap in a cascade on the
floor and browse and gallop; flutter and bellow and neigh; and be
their natural selves again。 I think that none of us ever really
thought very much of Ham and Shem and Japhet。 They were only
there because they were in the story; but nobody really
wanted them。 The Ark was built for the animals; of course
animals with tails; and trunks; and horns; and at least three
legs apiece; though some unfortunates had been unable to retain
even that number。 And in the animals were of course included the
birdsthe dove; for instance; grey with black wings; and the
red…crested woodpeckeror was it a hoo…poe?and the insects;
for there was a dear beetle; about the same size as the dove;
that held its own with any of the mammalia。
Of the doll…department Charlotte had naturally been sole chief
for a long time; if the staff were not in their places to…day; it
was not I who had any official right to take notice。 And yet one
may have been member of a Club for many a year without ever
exactly understanding the use and object of the other members;
until one enters; some Christmas day or other holiday; and;
surveying the deserted armchairs; the untenanted sofas; the
barren hat…pegs; realizes; with depression; that those other
fellows had their allotted functions; after all。 Where was old
Jerry? Where were Eugenie; Rosa; Sophy; Esmeralda? We had long
drifted apart; it was true; we spoke but rarely; perhaps;
absorbed in new ambitions; new achievements; I had even come to
look down on these conservative; unprogressive members who were
so clearly content to remain simply what they were。 And now that
their corners were unfilled; their chairs unoccupiedwell; my
eyes were opened and I wanted 'em back!
However; it was no business of mine。 If grievances were the
question; I hadn't a leg to stand upon。 Though my catapults were
officially confiscated; I knew the drawer in which they were
incarcerated; and where the key of it was hidden; and I
could make life a burden; if I chose; to every living thing
within a square…mile radius; so long as the catapult was restored
to its drawer in due and decent time。 But I wondered how the
others were taking it。 The edict hit them more severely。 They
should have my moral countenance at any rate; if not more; in any
protest or countermine they might be planning。 And; indeed;
something seemed possible; from the dogged; sullen air with which
the two of them had trotted off in the direction of the
raspberry…canes。 Certain spots always had their insensible
attraction for certain moods。 In love; one sought the orchard。
Weary of discipline; sick of convention; impassioned for the
road; the mining camp; the land across the border; one made for
the big meadow。 Mutinous; sulky; charged with plots and
conspiracies; one always got behind the shelter of the
raspberry…canes。
。 。 。 。 。 。 。
〃You can come too if you like;〃 said Harold; in a subdued sort of
way; as soon as he was aware that I was sitting up in bed
watching him。 〃We didn't think you'd care; 'cos you've got to
catapults。 But we're goin' to do what we've settled to do; so
it's no good sayin' we hadn't ought and that sort of thing; 'cos
we're goin' to!〃
The day had passed in an ominous peacefulness。 Charlotte and
Harold had kept out of my way; as well as out of everybody
else's; in a purposeful manner that ought to have bred suspicion。
In the evening we had read books; or fitfully drawn ships and
battles on fly…leaves; apart; in separate corners; void of
conversation or criticism; oppressed by the lowering tidiness of
the universe; till bedtime came; and disrobement; and
prayers even more mechanical than usual; and lastly bed itself
without so much as a giraffe under the pillow。 Harold had
grunted himself between the sheets with an ostentatious pretence
of overpowering fatigue; but I noticed that he pulled his pillow
forward and propped his head against the brass bars of his crib;
and; as I was acquainted with most of his tricks and subterfuges;
it was easy for me to gather that a painful wakefulness was his
aim that night。
I had dozed off; however; and Harold was out and on his feet;
poking under the bed for his shoes; when I sat up and grimly
regarded him。 Just as he said I could come if I liked; Charlotte
slipped in; her face rigid and set。 And then it was borne in
upon me that I was not on in this scene。 These youngsters had
planned it all out; the piece was their own; and the
mounting; and the cast。 My sceptre had fallen; my rule had
ceased。 In this magic hour of the summer night laws went for
nothing; codes were cancelled; and those who were most in touch
with the moonlight and the warm June spirit and the topsy…
turvydom that reigns when the clock strikes ten; were the true
lords and lawmakers。
Humbly; almost timidly; I followed without a protest in the wake
of these two remorseless; purposeful young persons; who were
marching straight for the schoolroom。 Here in the moonlight the
grim big box stood visiblethe box in which so large a portion
of our past and our personality lay entombed; cold; swathed in
paper; awaiting the carrier of the morning who should speed them
forth to the strange; cold; distant Children's Hospital; where
their little failings would all be misunderstood and no one
would make allowances。 A dreamy spectator; I stood idly by
while Harold propped up the lid and the two plunged in their arms
and probed and felt and grappled。
〃Here's Rosa;〃 said Harold; suddenly。 〃I know the feel of her
hair。 Will you have Rosa out?〃
〃Oh; give me Rosa!〃 cried Charlotte with a sort of gasp。 And
when Rosa had been dragged forth; quite unmoved apparently;
placid as ever in her moonfaced contemplation of this comedy…
world with its ups and downs; Charlotte retired with her to the
window…seat; and there in the moonlight the two exchanged their
private confidences; leaving Harold to his exploration alone。
〃Here's something with sharp corners;〃 said Harold; presently。
〃Must be Leotar