to the last man-第54章
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〃I'll swear it by the memory of my daid mother；〃 protested Colter。
〃Wal； when night come the Isbels rode down on us in the dark an' began
to shoot。 They smashed in the doortried to burn us outan' hollered
around for a while。 Then they left an' we reckoned there'd be no more
trouble that night。 All the same we kept watch。 I was the soberest one
an' I bossed the gang。 We had some quarrels aboot the drinkin'。 Your
dad said if we kept it up it 'd be the end of the Jorths。 An' he planned
to send word to the Isbels next mawnin' that he was ready for a truce。
An' I was to go fix it up with Gaston Isbel。 Wal； your dad went to bed
in Greaves's room； an' a little while later your uncle Jackson went in
there； too。 Some of the men laid down in the store an' went to sleep。
I kept guard till aboot three in the mawnin'。 An' I got so sleepy I
couldn't hold my eyes open。 So I waked up Wells an' Slater an' set
them on guard； one at each end of the store。 Then I laid down on the
counter to take a nap。〃
Colter's low voice； the strain and breathlessness of him； the agitation
with which he appeared to be laboring； and especially the simple；
matter…of…fact detail of his story； carried absolute conviction to
Ellen Jorth。 Her vague doubt of him had been created by his attitude
toward her。 Emotion dominated her intelligence。 The images； the scenes
called up by Colter's words； were as true as the gloom of the wild gulch
and the loneliness of the night solitudeas true as the strange fact
that she lay passive in the arm of a rustler。
〃Wall； after a while I woke up；〃 went on Colter； clearing his throat。
〃It was gray dawn。 All was as still as death。 。 。 。 An' somethin' shore
was wrong。 Wells an' Slater had got to drinkin' again an' now laid daid
drunk or asleep。 Anyways； when I kicked them they never moved。 Then I
heard a moan。 It came from the room where your dad an' uncle was。 I
went in。 It was just light enough to see。 Your uncle Jackson was layin'
on the floorcut half in twodaid as a door nail。 。 。 。 Your dad lay
on the bed。 He was alive； breathin' his last。 。 。 。 He says； 'That
half…breed Isbelknifed uswhile we slept！' 。 。 。 The winder shutter
was open。 I seen where Jean Isbel had come in an' gone out。 I seen
his moccasin tracks in the dirt outside an' I seen where he'd stepped
in Jackson's blood an' tracked it to the winder。 Y'u shore can see
them bloody tracks yourself； if y'u go back to Greaves's store。 。 。 。
Your dad was goin' fast。 。 。 。 He said； 'Coltertake care of Ellen；'
an' I reckon he meant a lot by that。 He kept sayin'； 'My God！ if I'd
only seen Gaston Isbel before it was too late！' an' then he raved a
little； whisperin' out of his haid。 。 。 。 An' after that he died。 。 。 。
I woke up the men； an' aboot sunup we carried your dad an' uncle out of
town an' buried them。 。 。 。 An' them Isbels shot at us while we were
buryin' our daid！ That's where Tad got his hurt。 。 。 。 Then we hit
the trail for Jorth's ranch。 。 。 。 An now； Ellen； that's all my story。
Your dad was ready to bury the hatchet with his old enemy。 An' that
Nez Perce Jean Isbel； like the sneakin' savage he is； murdered your
uncle an' your dad。 。 。 。 Cut him horriblemade him suffer tortures
of hellall for Isbel revenge！〃
When Colter's husky voice ceased Ellen whispered through lips as cold
and still as ice； 〃Let me go 。 。 。 leave meheahalone！〃
〃Why； shore！ I reckon I understand；〃 replied Colter。 〃I hated to
tell y'u。 But y'u had to heah the truth aboot that half…breed。 。 。 。
I'll carry your pack in the cabin an' unroll your blankets。〃
Releasing her； Colter strode off in the gloom。 Like a dead weight；
Ellen began to slide until she slipped down full length beside the log。
And then she lay in the cool； damp shadow； inert and lifeless so far
as outward physical movement was concerned。 She saw nothing and felt
nothing of the night； the wind； the cold； the falling dew。 For the
moment or hour she was crushed by despair； and seemed to see herself
sinking down and down into a black； bottomless pit； into an abyss where
murky tides of blood and furious gusts of passion contended between her
body and her soul。 Into the stormy blast of hell！ In her despair she
longed； she ached for death。 Born of infidelity； cursed by a taint of
evil blood； further cursed by higher instinct for good and happy life；
dragged from one lonely and wild and sordid spot to another； never
knowing love or peace or joy or home； left to the companionship of
violent and vile men； driven by a strange fate to love with unquenchable
and insupportable love a' half…breed； a savage； an Isbel； the hereditary
enemy of her people； and at last the。 ruthless murderer of her father
what in the name of God had she left to live for？ Revenge！ An eye for
an eye！ A life for a life！ But she could not kill Jean Isbel。
Woman's love could turn to hate； but not the love of Ellen Jorth。
He could drag her by the hair in the dust； beat her； and make her a
thing to loathe； and cut her mortally in his savage and implacable
thirst for revengebut with her last gasp she would whisper she loved
him and that she had lied to him to kill his faith。 It was thathis
strange faith in her puritywhich had won her love。 Of all men； that
he should be the one to recognize the truth of her； the womanhood yet
unsulliedhow strange； how terrible； how overpowering！ False； indeed；
was she to the Jorths！ False as her mother had been to an Isbel！
This agony and destruction of her soul was the bitter Dead Sea fruit
the sins of her parents visited upon her。
〃I'll end it all；〃 she whispered to the night shadows that hovered
over her。 No coward was sheno fear of pain or mangled flesh or death
or the mysterious hereafter could ever stay her。 It would be easy； it
would be a last thrill； a transport of self…abasement and supreme
self…proof of her love for Jean Isbel to kiss the Rim rock where his
feet had trod and then fling herself down into the depths。 She was the
last Jorth。 So the wronged Isbels would be avenged。
〃But he would never knownever knowI lied to him！〃 she wailed
to the night wind。
She was lostlost on earth and to hope of heaven。 She had right
neither to live nor to die。 She was nothing but a little weed along
the trail of life； trampled upon； buried in the mud。 She was nothing
but a single rotten thread in a tangled web of love and hate and revenge。
And she had broken。
Lower and lower she seemed to sink。 Was there no end to this gulf of
despair？ If Colter had returned he would have found her a rag and a
toya creature degraded； fit for his vile embrace。 To be thrust deeper
into the mireto be punished fittingly for her betrayal of a man's
noble love and her own womanhoodto be made an end of； body； mind；
and soul。
But Colter did not return。
The wind mourned； the owls hooted； the leaves rustled； the insects
whispered their melancholy night song； the camp…fire flickered and faded。
Then the wild forestland seemed to close imponderably over Ellen。 All
that she wailed in her deapair； all that she confessed in her abasement；
was true； and hard as life could bebut she belonged to nature。 If
nature had not failed her； had God failed her？ It was therethe lonely
land of tree and fern and flower and brook； full of wild birds and beasts；
where the mossy rocks could speak and the solitude had ears； where she
had always felt herself unutterably a part of creation。 Thus a wavering
spark of hope quivered through the blackness of her soul and gathered
light。
The gloom of the sky； the shifting clouds of dull shade； split asunder
to show a glimpse of a radiant star； piercingly white； cold； pure；
a steadfast eye of the universe； beyond all understanding and
illimitable with its meaning of the past and the present and the
future。 Ellen watched it until the drifting clouds once more hid
it from her strained sight。
What had that star to do with hell？ She might be crushed and destroyed
by life； but was there not something beyond？ Just to be born； just to
suffer； just to diecould that be all？ Despair did not loose its hold
on Ellen； the strife and pang of her breast did not subside。 But
