to the last man-第50章
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very wall of rock under Ellen。 Then the heavens seemed to burst open
with thundering crash and close with mighty thundering boom。 Long roar
and longer rumble rolled away to the eastward。 The rain poured down in
roaring cataracts。
The south held a panorama of purple…shrouded range and canyon； canyon
and range； on across the rolling leagues to the dim； lofty peaks； all
canopied over with angry； dusky； low…drifting clouds； horizon…wide；
smoky； and sulphurous。 And as Ellen watched； hands pressed to her
breast； feeling incalculable relief in sight of this tempest and gulf
that resembled her soul； the sun burst out from behind the long bank
of purple cloud in the west and flooded the world there with golden
lightning。
〃It is for me！〃 cried Ellen。 〃My mindmy heartmy very soul。 。 。 。
Oh； I know！ I know now！ 。 。 。 I love himlove himlove him！〃
She cried it out to the elements。 〃Oh； I love Jean Isbelan' my
heart will burst or break！〃
The might of her passion was like the blaze of the sun。 Before it all
else retreated； diminished。 The suddenness of the truth dimmed her sight。
But she saw clearly enough to crawl into the pine thicket； through the
clutching； dry twigs； over the mats of fragrant needles to the covert
where she had once spied upon Jean Isbel。 And here she lay face down
for a while； hands clutching the needles； breast pressed hard upon the
ground； stricken and spent。 But vitality was exceeding strong in her。
It passed； that weakness of realization； and she awakened to the
consciousness of love。
But in the beginning it was not consciousness of the man。 It was new；
sensorial life； elemental； primitive； a liberation of a million inherited
instincts； quivering and physical； over which Ellen had no more control
than she had over the glory of the sun。 If she thought at all it was
of her need to be hidden； like an animal； low down near the earth；
covered by green thicket； lost in the wildness of nature。 She went
to nature； unconsciously seeking a mother。 And love was a birth from
the depths of her； like a rushing spring of pure water； long underground；
and at last propelled to the surface by a convulsion。
Ellen gradually lost her tense rigidity and relaxed。 Her body softened。
She rolled over until her face caught the lacy； golden shadows cast by
sun and bough。 Scattered drops of rain pattered around her。 The air
was hot； and its odor was that of dry pine and spruce fragrance penetrated
by brimstone from the lightning。 The nest where she lay was warm and
sweet。 No eye save that of nature saw her in her abandonment。 An
ineffable and exquisite smile wreathed her lips； dreamy； sad； sensuous；
the supremity of unconscious happiness。 Over her dark and eloquent eyes；
as Ellen gazed upward； spread a luminous film； a veil。 She was looking
intensely； yet she did not see。 The wilderness enveloped her with its
secretive； elemental sheaths of rock； of tree； of cloud； of sunlight。
Through her thrilling skin poured the multiple and nameless sensations
of the living organism stirred to supreme sensitiveness。 She could not
lie still； but all her movements were gentle； involuntary。 The slow
reaching out of her hand； to grasp at nothing visible； was similar to
the lazy stretching of her limbs； to the heave of her breast； to the
ripple of muscle。
Ellen knew not what she felt。 To live that sublime hour was beyond
thought。 Such happiness was like the first dawn of the world to the
sight of man。 It had to do with bygone ages。 Her heart； her blood；
her flesh； her very bones were filled with instincts and emotions common
to the race before intellect developed ； when the savage lived only with
his sensorial perceptions。 Of all happiness； joy； bliss； rapture to
which man was heir； that of intense and exquisite preoccupation of the
senses； unhindered and unburdened by thought； was the greatest。 Ellen
felt that which life meant with its inscrutable design。 Love was only
the realization of her mission on the earth。
The dark storm cloud with its white； ragged ropes of lightning and
down…streaming gray veils of rain； the purple gulf rolling like a
colored sea to the dim mountains； the glorious golden light of the
sunthese had enchanted her eyes with her beauty of the universe。
They had burst the windows of her blindness。 When she crawled into
the green…brown covert it was to escape too great perception。 She
needed to be encompassed by close； tangible things。 And there her
body paid the tribute to the realization of life。 Shock； convulsion；
pain； relaxation； and then unutterable and insupportable sensing of
her environment and the heart！ In one way she was a wild animal
alone in the woods； forced into the mating that meant reproduction
of its kind。 In another she was an infinitely higher being shot
through and through with the most resistless and mysterious transport
that life could give to flesh。
And when that spell slackened its hold there wedged into her mind a
consciousness of the man she lovedJean Isbel。 Then emotion and
thought strove for mastery over her。 It was not herself or love that
she loved； but a living man。 Suddenly he existed so clearly for her
that she could see him； hear him； almost feel him。 Her whole soul；
her very life cried out to him for protection； for salvation； for love；
for fulfillment。 No denial； no doubt marred the white blaze of her
realization。 From the instant that she had looked up into Jean Isbel's
dark face she had loved him。 Only she had not known。 She bowed now；
and bent； and humbly quivered under the mastery of something beyond
her ken。 Thought clung to the beginnings of her romanceto the
three times she had seen him。 Every look； every word； every act of
his returned to her now in the light of the truth。 Love at first sight！
He had sworn it； bitterly； eloquently； scornful of her doubts。 And now
a blind； sweet； shuddering ecstasy swayed her。 How weak and frail
seemed her bodytoo small； too slight for this monstrous and terrible
engine of fire and lightning and fury and gloryher heart！ It must
burst or break。 Relentlessly memory pursued Ellen； and her thoughts
whirled and emotion conquered her。 At last she quivered up to her
knees as if lashed to action。 It seemed that first kiss of Isbel's；
cool and gentle and timid； was on her lips。 And her eyes closed and
hot tears welled from under her lids。 Her groping hands found only
the dead twigs and the pine boughs of the trees。 Had she reached out
to clasp him？ Then hard and violent on her mouth and cheek and neck
burned those other kisses of Isbel's； and with the flashing； stinging
memory came the truth that now she would have bartered her soul for them。
Utterly she surrendered to the resistlessness of this love。 Her loss
of mother and friends； her wandering from one wild place to another；
her lonely life among bold and rough men； had developed her for violent
love。 It overthrew all pride； it engendered humility； it killed hate。
Ellen wiped the tears from her eyes； and as she knelt there she swept
to her breast a fragrant spreading bough of pine needles。 〃I'll go to
him；〃 she whispered。 〃I'll tell him ofof mymy love。 I'll tell him
to take me awayaway to the end of the worldaway from heahbefore
it's too late！〃
It was a solemn； beautiful moment。 But the last spoken words lingered
hauntingly。 〃Too late？〃 she whispered。
And suddenly it seemed that death itself shuddered in her soul。
Too late！ It was too late。 She had killed his love。 That Jorth
blood in herthat poisonous hatehad chosen the only way to strike
this noble Isbel to the heart。 Basely； with an abandonment of womanhood；
she had mockingly perjured her soul with a vile lie。 She writhed； she
shook under the whip of this inconceivable fact。 Lost！ Lost！ She
wailed her misery。 She might as well be what she had made Jean Isbel
think she was。 If she had been shamed before； she was now abased；
degraded； lost in her own sight。 And if she would have given her
soul for his kisses； she now would have killed herself to earn back
his respect。 Jean Isbel had given her at sight the deference that
she had unconsciously craved； and the
