the old bachelor-第17章
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HEART。 'Tis not in thy nature to give me joy。 A woman can as soon give immortality。
BELIN。 Ha； ha； ha！ oh Gad； men grow such clowns when they are married。
BELL。 That they are fit for no company but their wives。
BELIN。 Nor for them neither； in a little time。 I swear； at the month's end； you shall hardly find a married man that will do a civil thing to his wife； or say a civil thing to anybody else。 How he looks already； ha； ha； ha。
BELL。 Ha； ha； ha！
HEART。 Death； am I made your laughing…stock？ For you； sir； I shall find a time； but take off your wasp here； or the clown may grow boisterous； I have a fly…flap。
BELIN。 You have occasion for't； your wife has been blown upon。
BELL。 That's home。
HEART。 Not fiends or furies could have added to my vexation； or anything； but another woman。 You've racked my patience； begone； or by …
BELL。 Hold； hold。 What the devilthou wilt not draw upon a woman？
VAIN。 What's the matter？
ARAM。 Bless me！ what have you done to him？
BELIN。 Only touched a galled beast until he winced。
VAIN。 Bellmour； give it over； you vex him too much。 'Tis all serious to him。
BELIN。 Nay； I swear； I begin to pity him myself。
HEART。 Damn your pity！but let me be calm a little。 How have I deserved this of you？ any of ye？ Sir； have I impaired the honour of your house； promised your sister marriage； and whored her？ Wherein have I injured you？ Did I bring a physician to your father when he lay expiring； and endeavour to prolong his life； and you one and twenty？ Madam； have I had an opportunity with you and baulked it？ Did you ever offer me the favour that I refused it？ Or …
BELIN。 Oh foh！ what does the filthy fellow mean？ Lord； let me be gone。
ARAM。 Hang me； if I pity you； you are right enough served。
BELL。 This is a little scurrilous though。
VAIN。 Nay； 'tis a sore of your own scratchingwell； George？
HEART。 You are the principal cause of all my present ills。 If Sylvia had not been your mistress； my wife might have been honest。
VAIN。 And if Sylvia had not been your wife； my mistress might have been just。 There； we are even。 But have a good heart； I heard of your misfortune； and come to your relief。
HEART。 When execution's over； you offer a reprieve。
VAIN。 What would you give？
HEART。 Oh！ Anything； everything； a leg or two； or an arm； nay； I would be divorced from my virility to be divorced from my wife。
SCENE XIV。
＇To them＇ SHARPER。
VAIN。 Faith； that's a sure way： but here's one can sell you freedom better cheap。
SHARP。 Vainlove； I have been a kind of a godfather to you yonder。 I have promised and vowed some things in your name which I think you are bound to perform。
VAIN。 No signing to a blank； friend。
SHARP。 No； I'll deal fairly with you。 'Tis a full and free discharge to Sir Joseph Wittal and Captain Bluffe； for all injuries whatsoever； done unto you by them； until the present date hereof。 How say you？
VAIN。 Agreed。
SHARP。 Then； let me beg these ladies to wear their masks； a moment。 Come in； gentlemen and ladies。
HEART。 What the devil's all this to me？
VAIN。 Patience。
SCENE the Last
＇To them＇ SIR JOSEPH； BLUFFE； SYLVIA； LUCY； SETTER。
BLUFF。 All injuries whatsoever； Mr。 Sharper。
SIR JO。 Ay； ay； whatsoever； Captain； stick to that； whatsoever。
SHARP。 'Tis done； these gentlemen are witnesses to the general release。
VAIN。 Ay； ay； to this instant moment。 I have passed an act of oblivion。
BLUFF。 'Tis very generous； sir； since I needs must own …
SIR JO。 No； no； Captain； you need not own； heh； heh； heh。 'Tis I must own …
BLUFF。That you are over…reached too； ha； ha； ha； only a little art military usedonly undermined； or so； as shall appear by the fair Araminta； my wife's permission。 Oh； the devil； cheated at last！ ＇Lucy unmasks。＇
SIR JO。 Only a little art…military trick； captain； only countermined； or so。 Mr。 Vainlove； I suppose you know whom I have gotnow； but all's forgiven。
VAIN。 I know whom you have not got； pray ladies convince him。 ＇ARAM。 and BELIN。 unmask。＇
SIR JO。 Ah！ oh Lord； my heart aches。 Ah！ Setter； a rogue of all sides。
SHARP。 Sir Joseph； you had better have pre…engaged this gentleman's pardon： for though Vainlove be so generous to forgive the loss of his mistress； I know not how Heartwell may take the loss of his wife。 ＇SYLVIA unmasks。＇
HEART。 My wife！ By this light 'tis she； the very cockatrice。 O Sharper！ Let me embrace thee。 But art thou sure she is really married to him？
SET。 Really and lawfully married； I am witness。
SHARP。 Bellmour will unriddle to you。 ＇HEARTWELL goes to BELLMOUR。＇
SIR JO。 Pray； madam； who are you？ For I find you and I are like to be better acquainted。
SYLV。 The worst of me is； that I am your wife …
SHARP。 Come； Sir Joseph； your fortune is not so bad as you fear。 A fine lady； and a lady of very good quality。
SIR JO。 Thanks to my knighthood； she's a lady …
VAIN。 That deserves a fool with a better title。 Pray use her as my relation； or you shall hear on't。
BLUFF。 What； are you a woman of quality too； spouse？
SET。 And my relation； pray let her be respected accordingly。 Well； honest Lucy； fare thee well。 I think； you and I have been play…fellows off and on； any time this seven years。
LUCY。 Hold your prating。 I'm thinking what vocation I shall follow while my spouse is planting laurels in the wars。
BLUFF。 No more wars； spouse； no more wars。 While I plant laurels for my head abroad； I may find the branches sprout at home。
HEART。 Bellmour； I approve thy mirth； and thank thee。 And I cannot in gratitude （for I see which way thou art going） see thee fall into the same snare out of which thou hast delivered me。
BELL。 I thank thee； George； for thy good intention； but there is a fatality in marriage； for I find I'm resolute。
HEART。 Then good counsel will be thrown away upon you。 For my part； I have once escaped； and when I wed again； may she beugly； as an old bawd。
VAIN。 Ill…natured； as an old maid …
BELL。 Wanton； as a young widow …
SHARP。 And jealous； as a barren wife。
HEART。 Agreed。
BELL。 Well； 'midst of these dreadful denunciations； and notwithstanding the warning and example before me； I commit myself to lasting durance。
BELIN。 Prisoner； make much of your fetters。 ＇Giving her hand。＇
BELL。 Frank； will you keep us in countenance？
VAIN。 May I presume to hope so great a blessing？
ARAM。 We had better take the advantage of a little of our friend's experience first。
BELL。 O' my conscience she dares not consent； for fear he should recant。 ＇Aside。＇ Well； we shall have your company to church in the morning。 May be it may get you an appetite to see us fall to before you。 Setter； did not you tell me？ …
SET。 They're at the door： I'll call 'em in。
A DANCE。
BELL。 Now set we forward on a journey for life。 Come take your fellow…travellers。 Old George； I'm sorry to see thee still plod on alone。
HEART。 With gaudy plumes and jingling bells made proud； The youthful beast sets forth； and neighs aloud。 A morning…sun his tinselled harness gilds； And the first stage a down…hill greensward yields。 But； oh … What rugged ways attend the noon of life！ Our sun declines； and with what anxious strife； What pain we tug that galling load； a wife。 All coursers the first heat with vigour run； But 'tis with whip and spur the race is won。 ＇Exeunt Omnes。＇
EPILOGUE。 Spoken by MRS。 BARRY。
As a rash girl； who will all hazards run； And be enjoyed； though sure to be undone； Soon as her curiosity is over； Would give the world she could her toy recover； So fares it with our poet； and I'm sent To tell you he already does repent： Would you were all as forward to keep Lent。 Now the deed's done； the giddy thing has leisure To think o' th' sting； that's in the tail of pleasure。 Methinks I hear him in consideration： What will the world say？ Where's my reputation？ Now that's at stake。 No； fool； 'tis out o' fashion。 If loss of that should follow want of wit； How many undone men were in the pit！ Why that's some comfort to an author's fears； If he's an ass； he will be tryed by's peers。 But hold； I am ex
