the old bachelor-第16章
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SET。 O lord; sir; what d'ye mean? Corrupt my honesty? They have indeed very persuading faces。 But …
SIR JO。 'Tis too little; there's more; man。 There; take all。 Now …
SET。 Well; Sir Joseph; you have such a winning way with you …
SIR JO。 And how; and how; good Setter; did the little rogue look when she talked of Sir Joseph? Did not her eyes twinkle and her mouth water? Did not she pull up her little bubbies? Andagad; I'm so overjoyedAnd stroke down her belly? and then step aside to tie her garter when she was thinking of her love? Heh; Setter!
SET。 Oh; yes; sir。
SIR JO。 How now; bully? What; melancholy because I'm in the lady's favour? No matter; I'll make your peace: I know they were a little smart upon you。 But I warrant I'll bring you into the lady's good graces。
BLUFF。 Pshaw; I have petitions to show from other…guess toys than she。 Look here; these were sent me this morning。 There; read。 'Shows letters'。 Thatthat's a scrawl of quality。 Here; here's from a countess too。 HumNo; holdthat's from a knight's wife she sent it me by her husband。 But here; both these are from persons of great quality。
SIR JO。 They are either from persons of great quality; or no quality at all; 'tis such a damned ugly hand。 'While SIR JOSEPH reads; BLUFFE whispers SETTER。'
SET。 Captain; I would do anything to serve you; but this is so difficult。
BLUFF。 Not at all。 Don't I know him?
SET。 You'll remember the conditions?
BLUFF。 I'll give it you under my hand。 In the meantime; here's earnest。 'Gives him money。' Come; knight; I'm capitulating with Mr。 Setter for you。
SIR JO。 Ah; honest Setter; sirrah; I'll give thee anything but a night's lodging。
SCENE VIII。
SHARPER tugging in HEARTWELL。
SHARP。 Nay; prithee leave railing; and come along with me。 May be she mayn't be within。 'Tis but to yond corner…house。
HEART。 Whither? Whither? Which corner…house。
SHARP。 Why; there: the two white posts。
HEART。 And who would you visit there; say you? (O'ons; how my heart aches。)
SHARP。 Pshaw; thou'rt so troublesome and inquisitive。 My; I'll tell you; 'tis a young creature that Vainlove debauched and has forsaken。 Did you never hear Bellmour chide him about Sylvia?
HEART。 Death; and hell; and marriage! My wife! 'Aside。'
SHARP。 Why; thou art as musty as a new…married man that had found his wife knowing the first night。
HEART。 Hell; and the Devil! Does he know it? But; hold; if he should not; I were a fool to discover it。 I'll dissemble; and try him。 'Aside。' Ha; ha; ha。 Why; Tom; is that such an occasion of melancholy? Is it such an uncommon mischief?
SHARP。 No; faith; I believe not。 Few women but have their year of probation before they are cloistered in the narrow joys of wedlock。 But; prithee; come along with me or I'll go and have the lady to myself。 B'w'y George。 'Going。'
HEART。 O torture! How he racks and tears me! Death! Shall I own my shame or wittingly let him go and whore my wife? No; that's insupportable。 O Sharper!
SHARP。 How now?
HEART。 Oh; I am married。
SHARP。 (Now hold; spleen。) Married!
HEART。 Certainly; irrecoverably married。
SHARP。 Heaven forbid; man! How long?
HEART。 Oh; an age; an age! I have been married these two hours。
SHARP。 My old bachelor married! That were a jest。 Ha; ha; ha。
HEART。 Death! D'ye mock me? Hark ye; if either you esteem my friendship; or your own safetycome not near that housethat corner…housethat hot brothel。 Ask no questions。
SHARP。 Mad; by this light。
Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure: Married in haste; we may repent at leisure。
SCENE IX。
SHARPER; SETTER。
SET。 Some by experience find these words misplaced: At leisure married; they repent in haste。
As I suppose my master Heartwell。
SHARP。 Here again; my Mercury!
SET。 Sublimate; if you please; sir: I think my achievements do deserve the epithetMercury was a pimp too; but; though I blush to own it; at this time; I must confess I am somewhat fallen from the dignity of my function; and do condescend to be scandalously employed in the promotion of vulgar matrimony。
SHARP。 As how; dear; dexterous pimp?
SET。 Why; to be brief; for I have weighty affairs dependingour stratagem succeeded as you intendedBluffe turns errant traitor; bribes me to make a private conveyance of the lady to him; and put a shame…settlement upon Sir Joseph。
SHARP。 O rogue! Well; but I hope …
SET。 No; no; never fear me; sir。 I privately informed the knight of the treachery; who has agreed seemingly to be cheated; that the captain may be so in reality。
SHARP。 Where's the bride?
SET。 Shifting clothes for the purpose; at a friend's house of mine。 Here's company coming; if you'll walk this way; sir; I'll tell you。
SCENE X。
BELLMOUR; BELINDA; ARAMINTA; and VAINLOVE。
VAIN。 Oh; 'twas frenzy all: cannot you forgive it? Men in madness have a title to your pity。 'To ARAMINTA。'
ARAM。 Which they forfeit; when they are restored to their senses。
VAIN。 I am not presuming beyond a pardon。
ARAM。 You who could reproach me with one counterfeit; how insolent would a real pardon make you! But there's no need to forgive what is not worth my anger。
BELIN。 O' my conscience; I could find in my heart to marry thee; purely to be rid of theeat least thou art so troublesome a lover; there's hopes thou'lt make a more than ordinary quiet husband。 'To BELLMOUR。'
BELL。 Say you so? Is that a maxim among ye?
BELIN。 Yes: you fluttering men of the MODE have made marriage a mere French dish。
BELL。 I hope there's no French sauce。 'Aside。'
BELIN。 You are so curious in the preparation; that is; your courtship; one would think you meant a noble entertainmentbut when we come to feed; 'tis all froth; and poor; but in show。 Nay; often; only remains; which have been I know not how many times warmed for other company; and at last served up cold to the wife。
BELL。 That were a miserable wretch indeed; who could not afford one warm dish for the wife of his bosom。 But you timorous virgins form a dreadful chimaera of a husband; as of a creature contrary to that soft; humble; pliant; easy thing; a lover; so guess at plagues in matrimony; in opposition to the pleasures of courtship。 Alas! courtship to marriage; is but as the music in the play…house; until the curtain's drawn; but that once up; then opens the scene of pleasure。
BELIN。 Oh; foh;no: rather courtship to marriage; as a very witty prologue to a very dull play。
SCENE XI。
'To them' SHARPER。
SHARP。 Hist! Bellmour。 If you'll bring the ladies; make haste to Sylvia's lodgings; before Heartwell has fretted himself out of breath。
BELL。 You have an opportunity now; madam; to revenge yourself upon Heartwell; for affronting your squirrel。 'To BELINDA。'
BELIN。 Oh; the filthy rude beast。
ARAM。 'Tis a lasting quarrel; I think he has never been at our house since。
BELL。 But give yourselves the trouble to walk to that corner… house; and I'll tell you by the way what may divert and surprise you。
SCENE XII。
SCENE: Sylvia's Lodgings。
HEARTWELL and BOY。
HEART。 Gone forth; say you; with her maid?
BOY。 There was a man too; that fetched them outSetter; I think they called him。
HEART。 So…hthat precious pimp toodamned; damned strumpet! could she not contain herself on her wedding…day? not hold out till night? Oh; cursed state! how wide we err; when apprehensive of the load of life。
We hope to find That help which Nature meant in womankind; To man that supplemental self…designed; But proves a burning caustic when applied; And Adam; sure; could with more ease abide The bone when broken; than when made a bride。
SCENE XIII。
'To him' BELLMOUR; BELINDA; VAINLOVE; ARAMINTA。
BELL。 Now George; what; rhyming! I thought the chimes of verse were past; when once the doleful marriage…knell was rung。
HEART。 Shame and confusion; I am exposed。 'VAINLOVE and ARAMINTA talk apart。'
BELIN。 Joy; joy; Mr。 Bridegroom; I give you joy; sir。
HEART。 'Tis not in thy nature to give me joy。 A woman can as soon give immortality。
BELIN。 Ha; ha; ha! oh Gad