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第16章

the old bachelor-第16章

小说: the old bachelor 字数: 每页4000字

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SET。  O lord; sir; what d'ye mean?  Corrupt my honesty?  They have indeed very persuading faces。  But …

SIR JO。  'Tis too little; there's more; man。  There; take all。  Now …

SET。  Well; Sir Joseph; you have such a winning way with you …

SIR JO。  And how; and how; good Setter; did the little rogue look when she talked of Sir Joseph?  Did not her eyes twinkle and her mouth water?  Did not she pull up her little bubbies?  Andagad; I'm so overjoyedAnd stroke down her belly? and then step aside to tie her garter when she was thinking of her love?  Heh; Setter!

SET。  Oh; yes; sir。

SIR JO。  How now; bully?  What; melancholy because I'm in the lady's favour?  No matter; I'll make your peace:  I know they were a little smart upon you。  But I warrant I'll bring you into the lady's good graces。

BLUFF。  Pshaw; I have petitions to show from other…guess toys than she。  Look here; these were sent me this morning。  There; read。 'Shows letters'。  Thatthat's a scrawl of quality。  Here; here's from a countess too。  HumNo; holdthat's from a knight's wife she sent it me by her husband。  But here; both these are from persons of great quality。

SIR JO。  They are either from persons of great quality; or no quality at all; 'tis such a damned ugly hand。  'While SIR JOSEPH reads; BLUFFE whispers SETTER。'

SET。  Captain; I would do anything to serve you; but this is so difficult。

BLUFF。  Not at all。  Don't I know him?

SET。  You'll remember the conditions?

BLUFF。  I'll give it you under my hand。  In the meantime; here's earnest。  'Gives him money。'  Come; knight; I'm capitulating with Mr。 Setter for you。

SIR JO。  Ah; honest Setter; sirrah; I'll give thee anything but a night's lodging。


SCENE VIII。


SHARPER tugging in HEARTWELL。

SHARP。  Nay; prithee leave railing; and come along with me。  May be she mayn't be within。  'Tis but to yond corner…house。

HEART。  Whither?  Whither?  Which corner…house。

SHARP。  Why; there:  the two white posts。

HEART。  And who would you visit there; say you?  (O'ons; how my heart aches。)

SHARP。  Pshaw; thou'rt so troublesome and inquisitive。  My; I'll tell you; 'tis a young creature that Vainlove debauched and has forsaken。  Did you never hear Bellmour chide him about Sylvia?

HEART。  Death; and hell; and marriage!  My wife!  'Aside。'

SHARP。  Why; thou art as musty as a new…married man that had found his wife knowing the first night。

HEART。  Hell; and the Devil!  Does he know it?  But; hold; if he should not; I were a fool to discover it。  I'll dissemble; and try him。  'Aside。'  Ha; ha; ha。  Why; Tom; is that such an occasion of melancholy?  Is it such an uncommon mischief?

SHARP。  No; faith; I believe not。  Few women but have their year of probation before they are cloistered in the narrow joys of wedlock。 But; prithee; come along with me or I'll go and have the lady to myself。  B'w'y George。  'Going。'

HEART。  O torture!  How he racks and tears me!  Death!  Shall I own my shame or wittingly let him go and whore my wife?  No; that's insupportable。  O Sharper!

SHARP。  How now?

HEART。  Oh; I am married。

SHARP。  (Now hold; spleen。)  Married!

HEART。  Certainly; irrecoverably married。

SHARP。  Heaven forbid; man!  How long?

HEART。  Oh; an age; an age!  I have been married these two hours。

SHARP。  My old bachelor married!  That were a jest。  Ha; ha; ha。

HEART。  Death!  D'ye mock me?  Hark ye; if either you esteem my friendship; or your own safetycome not near that housethat corner…housethat hot brothel。  Ask no questions。

SHARP。  Mad; by this light。

Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure: Married in haste; we may repent at leisure。


SCENE IX。


SHARPER; SETTER。

SET。  Some by experience find these words misplaced: At leisure married; they repent in haste。

As I suppose my master Heartwell。

SHARP。  Here again; my Mercury!

SET。  Sublimate; if you please; sir:  I think my achievements do deserve the epithetMercury was a pimp too; but; though I blush to own it; at this time; I must confess I am somewhat fallen from the dignity of my function; and do condescend to be scandalously employed in the promotion of vulgar matrimony。

SHARP。  As how; dear; dexterous pimp?

SET。  Why; to be brief; for I have weighty affairs dependingour stratagem succeeded as you intendedBluffe turns errant traitor; bribes me to make a private conveyance of the lady to him; and put a shame…settlement upon Sir Joseph。

SHARP。  O rogue!  Well; but I hope …

SET。  No; no; never fear me; sir。  I privately informed the knight of the treachery; who has agreed seemingly to be cheated; that the captain may be so in reality。

SHARP。  Where's the bride?

SET。  Shifting clothes for the purpose; at a friend's house of mine。  Here's company coming; if you'll walk this way; sir; I'll tell you。


SCENE X。


BELLMOUR; BELINDA; ARAMINTA; and VAINLOVE。

VAIN。  Oh; 'twas frenzy all:  cannot you forgive it?  Men in madness have a title to your pity。  'To ARAMINTA。'

ARAM。  Which they forfeit; when they are restored to their senses。

VAIN。  I am not presuming beyond a pardon。

ARAM。  You who could reproach me with one counterfeit; how insolent would a real pardon make you!  But there's no need to forgive what is not worth my anger。

BELIN。  O' my conscience; I could find in my heart to marry thee; purely to be rid of theeat least thou art so troublesome a lover; there's hopes thou'lt make a more than ordinary quiet husband。  'To BELLMOUR。'

BELL。  Say you so?  Is that a maxim among ye?

BELIN。  Yes:  you fluttering men of the MODE have made marriage a mere French dish。

BELL。  I hope there's no French sauce。  'Aside。'

BELIN。  You are so curious in the preparation; that is; your courtship; one would think you meant a noble entertainmentbut when we come to feed; 'tis all froth; and poor; but in show。  Nay; often; only remains; which have been I know not how many times warmed for other company; and at last served up cold to the wife。

BELL。  That were a miserable wretch indeed; who could not afford one warm dish for the wife of his bosom。  But you timorous virgins form a dreadful chimaera of a husband; as of a creature contrary to that soft; humble; pliant; easy thing; a lover; so guess at plagues in matrimony; in opposition to the pleasures of courtship。  Alas! courtship to marriage; is but as the music in the play…house; until the curtain's drawn; but that once up; then opens the scene of pleasure。

BELIN。  Oh; foh;no:  rather courtship to marriage; as a very witty prologue to a very dull play。


SCENE XI。


'To them' SHARPER。

SHARP。  Hist!  Bellmour。  If you'll bring the ladies; make haste to Sylvia's lodgings; before Heartwell has fretted himself out of breath。

BELL。  You have an opportunity now; madam; to revenge yourself upon Heartwell; for affronting your squirrel。  'To BELINDA。'

BELIN。  Oh; the filthy rude beast。

ARAM。  'Tis a lasting quarrel; I think he has never been at our house since。

BELL。  But give yourselves the trouble to walk to that corner… house; and I'll tell you by the way what may divert and surprise you。


SCENE XII。


SCENE:  Sylvia's Lodgings。

HEARTWELL and BOY。

HEART。  Gone forth; say you; with her maid?

BOY。  There was a man too; that fetched them outSetter; I think they called him。

HEART。  So…hthat precious pimp toodamned; damned strumpet! could she not contain herself on her wedding…day? not hold out till night?  Oh; cursed state! how wide we err; when apprehensive of the load of life。

We hope to find That help which Nature meant in womankind; To man that supplemental self…designed; But proves a burning caustic when applied; And Adam; sure; could with more ease abide The bone when broken; than when made a bride。


SCENE XIII。


'To him' BELLMOUR; BELINDA; VAINLOVE; ARAMINTA。

BELL。  Now George; what; rhyming!  I thought the chimes of verse were past; when once the doleful marriage…knell was rung。

HEART。  Shame and confusion; I am exposed。  'VAINLOVE and ARAMINTA talk apart。'

BELIN。  Joy; joy; Mr。 Bridegroom; I give you joy; sir。

HEART。  'Tis not in thy nature to give me joy。  A woman can as soon give immortality。

BELIN。  Ha; ha; ha! oh Gad

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