the old bachelor-第16章
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SET。 O lord； sir； what d'ye mean？ Corrupt my honesty？ They have indeed very persuading faces。 But …
SIR JO。 'Tis too little； there's more； man。 There； take all。 Now …
SET。 Well； Sir Joseph； you have such a winning way with you …
SIR JO。 And how； and how； good Setter； did the little rogue look when she talked of Sir Joseph？ Did not her eyes twinkle and her mouth water？ Did not she pull up her little bubbies？ Andagad； I'm so overjoyedAnd stroke down her belly？ and then step aside to tie her garter when she was thinking of her love？ Heh； Setter！
SET。 Oh； yes； sir。
SIR JO。 How now； bully？ What； melancholy because I'm in the lady's favour？ No matter； I'll make your peace： I know they were a little smart upon you。 But I warrant I'll bring you into the lady's good graces。
BLUFF。 Pshaw； I have petitions to show from other…guess toys than she。 Look here； these were sent me this morning。 There； read。 ＇Shows letters＇。 Thatthat's a scrawl of quality。 Here； here's from a countess too。 HumNo； holdthat's from a knight's wife she sent it me by her husband。 But here； both these are from persons of great quality。
SIR JO。 They are either from persons of great quality； or no quality at all； 'tis such a damned ugly hand。 ＇While SIR JOSEPH reads； BLUFFE whispers SETTER。＇
SET。 Captain； I would do anything to serve you； but this is so difficult。
BLUFF。 Not at all。 Don't I know him？
SET。 You'll remember the conditions？
BLUFF。 I'll give it you under my hand。 In the meantime； here's earnest。 ＇Gives him money。＇ Come； knight； I'm capitulating with Mr。 Setter for you。
SIR JO。 Ah； honest Setter； sirrah； I'll give thee anything but a night's lodging。
SCENE VIII。
SHARPER tugging in HEARTWELL。
SHARP。 Nay； prithee leave railing； and come along with me。 May be she mayn't be within。 'Tis but to yond corner…house。
HEART。 Whither？ Whither？ Which corner…house。
SHARP。 Why； there： the two white posts。
HEART。 And who would you visit there； say you？ （O'ons； how my heart aches。）
SHARP。 Pshaw； thou'rt so troublesome and inquisitive。 My； I'll tell you； 'tis a young creature that Vainlove debauched and has forsaken。 Did you never hear Bellmour chide him about Sylvia？
HEART。 Death； and hell； and marriage！ My wife！ ＇Aside。＇
SHARP。 Why； thou art as musty as a new…married man that had found his wife knowing the first night。
HEART。 Hell； and the Devil！ Does he know it？ But； hold； if he should not； I were a fool to discover it。 I'll dissemble； and try him。 ＇Aside。＇ Ha； ha； ha。 Why； Tom； is that such an occasion of melancholy？ Is it such an uncommon mischief？
SHARP。 No； faith； I believe not。 Few women but have their year of probation before they are cloistered in the narrow joys of wedlock。 But； prithee； come along with me or I'll go and have the lady to myself。 B'w'y George。 ＇Going。＇
HEART。 O torture！ How he racks and tears me！ Death！ Shall I own my shame or wittingly let him go and whore my wife？ No； that's insupportable。 O Sharper！
SHARP。 How now？
HEART。 Oh； I am married。
SHARP。 （Now hold； spleen。） Married！
HEART。 Certainly； irrecoverably married。
SHARP。 Heaven forbid； man！ How long？
HEART。 Oh； an age； an age！ I have been married these two hours。
SHARP。 My old bachelor married！ That were a jest。 Ha； ha； ha。
HEART。 Death！ D'ye mock me？ Hark ye； if either you esteem my friendship； or your own safetycome not near that housethat corner…housethat hot brothel。 Ask no questions。
SHARP。 Mad； by this light。
Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure： Married in haste； we may repent at leisure。
SCENE IX。
SHARPER； SETTER。
SET。 Some by experience find these words misplaced： At leisure married； they repent in haste。
As I suppose my master Heartwell。
SHARP。 Here again； my Mercury！
SET。 Sublimate； if you please； sir： I think my achievements do deserve the epithetMercury was a pimp too； but； though I blush to own it； at this time； I must confess I am somewhat fallen from the dignity of my function； and do condescend to be scandalously employed in the promotion of vulgar matrimony。
SHARP。 As how； dear； dexterous pimp？
SET。 Why； to be brief； for I have weighty affairs dependingour stratagem succeeded as you intendedBluffe turns errant traitor； bribes me to make a private conveyance of the lady to him； and put a shame…settlement upon Sir Joseph。
SHARP。 O rogue！ Well； but I hope …
SET。 No； no； never fear me； sir。 I privately informed the knight of the treachery； who has agreed seemingly to be cheated； that the captain may be so in reality。
SHARP。 Where's the bride？
SET。 Shifting clothes for the purpose； at a friend's house of mine。 Here's company coming； if you'll walk this way； sir； I'll tell you。
SCENE X。
BELLMOUR； BELINDA； ARAMINTA； and VAINLOVE。
VAIN。 Oh； 'twas frenzy all： cannot you forgive it？ Men in madness have a title to your pity。 ＇To ARAMINTA。＇
ARAM。 Which they forfeit； when they are restored to their senses。
VAIN。 I am not presuming beyond a pardon。
ARAM。 You who could reproach me with one counterfeit； how insolent would a real pardon make you！ But there's no need to forgive what is not worth my anger。
BELIN。 O' my conscience； I could find in my heart to marry thee； purely to be rid of theeat least thou art so troublesome a lover； there's hopes thou'lt make a more than ordinary quiet husband。 ＇To BELLMOUR。＇
BELL。 Say you so？ Is that a maxim among ye？
BELIN。 Yes： you fluttering men of the MODE have made marriage a mere French dish。
BELL。 I hope there's no French sauce。 ＇Aside。＇
BELIN。 You are so curious in the preparation； that is； your courtship； one would think you meant a noble entertainmentbut when we come to feed； 'tis all froth； and poor； but in show。 Nay； often； only remains； which have been I know not how many times warmed for other company； and at last served up cold to the wife。
BELL。 That were a miserable wretch indeed； who could not afford one warm dish for the wife of his bosom。 But you timorous virgins form a dreadful chimaera of a husband； as of a creature contrary to that soft； humble； pliant； easy thing； a lover； so guess at plagues in matrimony； in opposition to the pleasures of courtship。 Alas！ courtship to marriage； is but as the music in the play…house； until the curtain's drawn； but that once up； then opens the scene of pleasure。
BELIN。 Oh； foh；no： rather courtship to marriage； as a very witty prologue to a very dull play。
SCENE XI。
＇To them＇ SHARPER。
SHARP。 Hist！ Bellmour。 If you'll bring the ladies； make haste to Sylvia's lodgings； before Heartwell has fretted himself out of breath。
BELL。 You have an opportunity now； madam； to revenge yourself upon Heartwell； for affronting your squirrel。 ＇To BELINDA。＇
BELIN。 Oh； the filthy rude beast。
ARAM。 'Tis a lasting quarrel； I think he has never been at our house since。
BELL。 But give yourselves the trouble to walk to that corner… house； and I'll tell you by the way what may divert and surprise you。
SCENE XII。
SCENE： Sylvia's Lodgings。
HEARTWELL and BOY。
HEART。 Gone forth； say you； with her maid？
BOY。 There was a man too； that fetched them outSetter； I think they called him。
HEART。 So…hthat precious pimp toodamned； damned strumpet！ could she not contain herself on her wedding…day？ not hold out till night？ Oh； cursed state！ how wide we err； when apprehensive of the load of life。
We hope to find That help which Nature meant in womankind； To man that supplemental self…designed； But proves a burning caustic when applied； And Adam； sure； could with more ease abide The bone when broken； than when made a bride。
SCENE XIII。
＇To him＇ BELLMOUR； BELINDA； VAINLOVE； ARAMINTA。
BELL。 Now George； what； rhyming！ I thought the chimes of verse were past； when once the doleful marriage…knell was rung。
HEART。 Shame and confusion； I am exposed。 ＇VAINLOVE and ARAMINTA talk apart。＇
BELIN。 Joy； joy； Mr。 Bridegroom； I give you joy； sir。
HEART。 'Tis not in thy nature to give me joy。 A woman can as soon give immortality。
BELIN。 Ha； ha； ha！ oh Gad
