the aspern papers-第24章

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she　asked　me　about　my　giro；　my　impressions；　the　places

I　had　seen。　　I　told　her　what　I　could；　making　it　up　partly；

I　am　afraid；　as　in　my　depression　I　had　not　seen　much；

and　after　she　had　heard　me　she　exclaimed；　quite　as　if　she

had　forgotten　her　aunt　and　her　sorrow；　〃Dear；　dear；　how　much

I　should　like　to　do　such　thingsto　take　a　little　journey！〃

It　came　over　me　for　the　moment　that　I　ought　to　propose　some　tour；

say　I　would　take　her　anywhere　she　liked；　and　I　remarked

at　any　rate　that　some　excursionto　give　her　a　change

might　be　managed：　　we　would　think　of　it；　talk　it　over。

I　said　never　a　word　to　her　about　the　Aspern　documents；　asked　no

questions　as　to　what　she　had　ascertained　or　what　had　otherwise

happened　with　regard　to　them　before　Miss　Bordereau's　death。

It　was　not　that　I　was　not　on　pins　and　needles　to　know；　but　that　I

thought　it　more　decent　not　to　betray　my　anxiety　so　soon　after

the　catastrophe。　　I　hoped　she　herself　would　say　something；　but　she

never　glanced　that　way；　and　I　thought　this　natural　at　the　time。

Later　however；　that　night；　it　occurred　to　me　that　her　silence

was　somewhat　strange；　for　if　she　had　talked　of　my　movements；

of　anything　so　detached　as　the　Giorgione　at　Castelfranco；　she　might

have　alluded　to　what　she　could　easily　remember　was　in　my　mind。

It　was　not　to　be　supposed　that　the　emotion　produced　by　her　aunt's

death　had　blotted　out　the　recollection　that　I　was　interested

in　that　lady's　relics；　and　I　fidgeted　afterward　as　it　came

to　me　that　her　reticence　might　very　possibly　mean　simply

that　nothing　had　been　found。　　We　separated　in　the　garden

（it　was　she　who　said　she　must　go　in）；　now　that　she　was　alone

in　the　rooms　I　felt　that　（judged；　at　any　rate；　by　Venetian　ideas）

I　was　on　rather　a　different　footing　in　regard　to　visiting　her　there。

As　I　shook　hands　with　her　for　goodnight　I　asked　her　if　she

had　any　general　planhad　thought　over　what　she　had　better　do。

〃Oh；　yes；　oh；　yes；　but　I　haven't　settled　anything　yet；〃

she　replied　quite　cheerfully。　　Was　her　cheerfulness　explained

by　the　impression　that　I　would　settle　for　her？



I　was　glad　the　next　morning　that　we　had　neglected　practical　questions；

for　this　gave　me　a　pretext　for　seeing　her　again　immediately。

There　was　a　very　practical　question　to　be　touched　upon。

I　owed　it　to　her　to　let　her　know　formally　that　of　course　I　did　not　expect

her　to　keep　me　on　as　a　lodger；　and　also　to　show　some　interest　in　her

own　tenure；　what　she　might　have　on　her　hands　in　the　way　of　a　lease。

But　I　was　not　destined；　as　it　happened；　to　converse　with　her　for　more

than　an　instant　on　either　of　these　points。　　I　sent　her　no　message；

I　simply　went　down　to　the　sala　and　walked　to　and　fro　there。

I　knew　she　would　come　out；　she　would　very　soon　discover　I　was　there。

Somehow　I　preferred　not　to　be　shut　up　with　her；　gardens　and　big

halls　seemed　better　places　to　talk。　　It　was　a　splendid　morning；

with　something　in　the　air　that　told　of　the　waning　of　the　long

Venetian　summer；　a　freshness　from　the　sea　which　stirred　the

flowers　in　the　garden　and　made　a　pleasant　draught　in　the　house；

less　shuttered　and　darkened　now　than　when　the　old　woman　was　alive。

It　was　the　beginning　of　autumn；　of　the　end　of　the　golden　months。

With　this　it　was　the　end　of　my　experimentor　would　be　in　the　course

of　half　an　hour；　when　I　should　really　have　learned　that　the　papers

had　been　reduced　to　ashes。　　After　that　there　would　be　nothing　left

for　me　but　to　go　to　the　station；　for　seriously　（and　as　it　struck　me

in　the　morning　light）　I　could　not　linger　there　to　act　as　guardian

to　a　piece　of　middle…aged　female　helplessness。　　If　she　had　not　saved

the　papers　wherein　should　I　be　indebted　to　her？　　I　think　I　winced

a　little　as　I　asked　myself　how　much；　if　she　HAD　saved　them；

I　should　have　to　recognize　and；　as　it　were；　to　reward　such　a　courtesy。

Might　not　that　circumstance　after　all　saddle　me　with　a　guardianship？

If　this　idea　did　not　make　me　more　uncomfortable　as　I　walked　up

and　down　it　was　because　I　was　convinced　I　had　nothing　to　look　to。

If　the　old　woman　had　not　destroyed　everything　before　she　pounced

upon　me　in　the　parlor　she　had　done　so　afterward。



It　took　Miss　Tita　rather　longer　than　I　had　expected　to　guess　that　I　was　there；

but　when　at　last　she　came　out　she　looked　at　me　without　surprise。

I　said　to　her　that　I　had　been　waiting　for　her；　and　she　asked　why　I　had　not　let

her　know。　　I　was　glad　the　next　day　that　I　had　checked　myself　before　remarking

that　I　had　wished　to　see　if　a　friendly　intuition　would　not　tell　her：

it　became　a　satisfaction　to　me　that　I　had　not　indulged　in　that　rather

tender　joke。　　What　I　did　say　was　virtually　the　truththat　I　was　too　nervous；

since　I　expected　her　now　to　settle　my　fate。



〃Your　fate？〃　said　Miss　Tita；　giving　me　a　queer　look；

and　as　she　spoke　I　noticed　a　rare　change　in　her。

She　was　different　from　what　she　had　been　the　evening　before

less　natural；　less　quiet。　　She　had　been　crying　the　day　before　and

she　was　not　crying　now；　and　yet　she　struck　me　as　less　confident。

It　was　as　if　something　had　happened　to　her　during　the　night；

or　at　least　as　if　she　had　thought　of　something　that　troubled　her

something　in　particular　that　affected　her　relations

with　me；　made　them　more　embarrassing　and　complicated。

Had　she　simply　perceived　that　her　aunt's　not　being　there　now

altered　my　position？



〃I　mean　about　our　papers。　　ARE　there　any？　　You　must　know　now。〃



〃Yes；　there　are　a　great　many；　more　than　I　supposed。〃

I　was　struck　with　the　way　her　voice　trembled　as　she　told　me　this。



〃Do　you　mean　that　you　have　got　them　in　thereand　that　I　may　see　them？〃



〃I　don't　think　you　can　see　them；〃　said　Miss　Tita　with　an　extraordinary

expression　of　entreaty　in　her　eyes；　as　if　the　dearest　hope　she　had　in　the

world　now　was　that　I　would　not　take　them　from　her。　　But　how　could　she　expect

me　to　make　such　a　sacrifice　as　that　after　all　that　had　passed　between　us？

What　had　I　come　back　to　Venice　for　but　to　see　them；　to　take　them？

My　delight　in　learning　they　were　still　in　existence　was　such　that

if　the　poor　woman　had　gone　down　on　her　knees　to　beseech　me　never　to

mention　them　again　I　would　have　treated　the　proceeding　as　a　bad　joke。

〃I　have　got　them　but　I　can't　show　them；〃　she　added。



〃Not　even　to　me？　　Ah；　Miss　Tita！〃　　I　groaned；　with　a　voice　of　infinite

remonstrance　and　reproach。



She　colored；　and　the　tears　came　back　to　her　eyes；

I　saw　that　it　cost　her　a　kind　of　anguish　to　take　such　a　stand

but　that　a　dreadful　sense　of　duty　had　descended　upon　her。

It　made　me　quite　sick　to　find　myself　confronted　with　that

particular　obstacle；　all　the　more　that　it　appeared　to　me　I

had　been　extremely　encouraged　to　leave　it　out　of　account。

I　almost　considered　that　Miss　Tita　had　assured　me　that　if　she

had　no　greater　hindrance　than　that！　　〃You　don't　mean　to　say

you　made　her　a　deathbed　promise？　　It　was　precisely　against

your　doing　anything　of　that　sort　that　I　thought　I　was　safe。

Oh；　I　would　rather　she　had　burned　the　papers　outright　than　that！〃



〃No；　it　isn't　a　promise；〃　said　Miss　Tita。



〃Pray　what　is　it　then？〃



She　hesitated　and　then　she　said；　〃She　tried　to　burn　them；　but　I　prevented　it。

She　had　hid　them　in　her　bed。〃



〃In　her　bed？〃



〃Between　the　mattresses。　　That's　where　she　put　them　when　she

took　them　out　of　the　trunk。　　I　can't　understand　how　she　did　it；

because　Olimpia　didn't　help　her。　　She　tells　me　so；　and　I　believe　her。

My　aunt　only　told　her　afterward；　so　that　she　shouldn't　touch

the　bedanything　but　the　sheets。　　So　it　was　badly　made；〃

added　Miss　Tita　simply。



〃I　should　think　so！　　And　how　did　she　try　to　burn　them？〃



〃She　didn't　try　much；　she　was　too　weak；　those　last　days。

But　she　told　meshe　charged　me。　　Oh；　it　was　terrible！

She　couldn't　speak　after　that　night；　she　could　only　make　signs。〃



〃And　what　did　you　do？〃



〃I　took　them　away。　　I　locked　them　up。〃



〃In　the　secretary？〃



〃Yes；　in　the　secretary；〃　said　Miss　Tita；　reddening　again。



〃Did　you　tell　her　you　would　burn　them？〃



〃No；　I　didn