the aspern papers-第17章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



had　been　wheeled　forth　into　the　world　and　had　a　certain　air；

which　came　mainly　perhaps　from　some　brighter　element　in

her　dress；　of　being　prepared　again　to　have　converse　with　it。

It　had　not　yet；　however；　begun　to　flock　about　her；

she　was　perfectly　alone　and；　though　the　door　leading　to　her　own

quarters　stood　open；　I　had　at　first　no　glimpse　of　Miss　Tita。

The　window　at　which　she　sat　had　the　afternoon　shade　and；

one　of　the　shutters　having　been　pushed　back；　she　could　see

the　pleasant　garden；　where　the　summer　sun　had　by　this　time

dried　up　too　many　of　the　plantsshe　could　see　the　yellow

light　and　the　long　shadows。



〃Have　you　come　to　tell　me　that　you　will　take　the　rooms

for　six　months　more？〃　she　asked　as　I　approached　her；

startling　me　by　something　coarse　in　her　cupidity　almost

as　much　as　if　she　had　not　already　given　me　a　specimen　of　it。

Juliana's　desire　to　make　our　acquaintance　lucrative　had　been；

as　I　have　sufficiently　indicated；　a　false　note　in　my　image

of　the　woman　who　had　inspired　a　great　poet　with　immortal　lines；

but　I　may　say　here　definitely　that　I　recognized　after　all

that　it　behooved　me　to　make　a　large　allowance　for　her。

It　was　I　who　had　kindled　the　unholy　flame；　it　was　I　who　had

put　into　her　head　that　she　had　the　means　of　making　money。

She　appeared　never　to　have　thought　of　that；　she　had　been

living　wastefully　for　years；　in　a　house　five　times　too

big　for　her；　on　a　footing　that　I　could　explain　only　by

the　presumption　that；　excessive　as　it　was；　the　space　she

enjoyed　cost　her　next　to　nothing　and　that　small　as　were　her

revenues　they　left　her；　for　Venice；　an　appreciable　margin。

I　had　descended　on　her　one　day　and　taught　her　to　calculate；

and　my　almost　extravagant　comedy　on　the　subject　of　the　garden

had　presented　me　irresistibly　in　the　light　of　a　victim。

Like　all　persons　who　achieve　the　miracle　of　changing　their　point

of　view　when　they　are　old　she　had　been　intensely　converted；

she　had　seized　my　hint　with　a　desperate；　tremulous　clutch。



I　invited　myself　to　go　and　get　one　of　the　chairs　that　stood；　at　a　distance；

against　the　wall　（she　had　given　herself　no　concern　as　to　whether　I

should　sit　or　stand）；　and　while　I　placed　it　near　her　I　began；　gaily；

〃Oh；　dear　madam；　what　an　imagination　you　have；　what　an　intellectual　sweep！

I　am　a　poor　devil　of　a　man　of　letters　who　lives　from　day　to　day。

How　can　I　take　palaces　by　the　year？　　My　existence　is　precarious。

I　don't　know　whether　six　months　hence　I　shall　have　bread　to　put　in　my　mouth。

I　have　treated　myself　for　once；　it　has　been　an　immense　luxury。

But　when　it　comes　to　going　on！〃



〃Are　your　rooms　too　dear？　　If　they　are　you　can　have　more　for　the　same　money；〃

Juliana　responded。　　〃We　can　arrange；　we　can　combinare；　as　they　say　here。〃



〃Well　yes；　since　you　ask　me；　they　are　too　dear；〃　I　said。

〃Evidently　you　suppose　me　richer　than　I　am。〃



She　looked　at　me　in　her　barricaded　way。　　〃If　you　write　books

don't　you　sell　them？〃



〃Do　you　mean　don't　people　buy　them？　　A　littlenot　so　much　as　I　could　wish。

Writing　books；　unless　one　be　a　great　geniusand　even　then！is　the　last　road

to　fortune。　　I　think　there　is　no　more　money　to　be　made　by　literature。〃



〃Perhaps　you　don't　choose　good　subjects。　　What　do　you　write　about？〃

Miss　Bordereau　inquired。



〃About　the　books　of　other　people。　　I'm　a　critic；　an　historian；

in　a　small　way。〃　　I　wondered　what　she　was　coming　to。



〃And　what　other　people；　now？〃



〃Oh；　better　ones　than　myself：　　the　great　writers　mainly

the　great　philosophers　and　poets　of　the　past；　those　who　are

dead　and　gone　and　can't　speak　for　themselves。〃



〃And　what　do　you　say　about　them？〃



〃I　say　they　sometimes　attached　themselves　to　very　clever　women！〃

I　answered；　laughing。　　I　spoke　with　great　deliberation；

but　as　my　words　fell　upon　the　air　they　struck　me　as　imprudent。

However；　I　risked　them　and　I　was　not　sorry；　for　perhaps

after　all　the　old　woman　would　be　willing　to　treat。

It　seemed　to　be　tolerably　obvious　that　she　knew　my　secret：

why　therefore　drag　the　matter　out？　　But　she　did　not　take　what　I

had　said　as　a　confession；　she　only　asked：



〃Do　you　think　it's　right　to　rake　up　the　past？〃



〃I　don't　know　that　I　know　what　you　mean　by　raking　it　up；

but　how　can　we　get　at　it　unless　we　dig　a　little？

The　present　has　such　a　rough　way　of　treading　it　down。〃



〃Oh；　I　like　the　past；　but　I　don't　like　critics；〃　the　old　woman　declared

with　her　fine　tranquility。



〃Neither　do　I；　but　I　like　their　discoveries。〃



〃Aren't　they　mostly　lies？〃



〃The　lies　are　what　they　sometimes　discover；〃　I　said；　smiling　at　the　quiet

impertinence　of　this。　　〃They　often　lay　bare　the　truth。〃



〃The　truth　is　God's；　it　isn't　man's；　we　had　better　leave　it　alone。

Who　can　judge　of　itwho　can　say？〃



〃We　are　terribly　in　the　dark；　I　know；〃　I　admitted；　〃but　if　we　give

up　trying　what　becomes　of　all　the　fine　things？　　What　becomes　of

the　work　I　just　mentioned；　that　of　the　great　philosophers　and　poets？

It　is　all　vain　words　if　there　is　nothing　to　measure　it　by。〃



〃You　talk　as　if　you　were　a　tailor；〃　said　Miss　Bordereau　whimsically；

and　then　she　added　quickly；　in　a　different　manner；　〃This　house

is　very　fine；　the　proportions　are　magnificent。　　Today　I　wanted

to　look　at　this　place　again。　　I　made　them　bring　me　out　here。

When　your　man　came；　just　now；　to　learn　if　I　would　see　you；

I　was　on　the　point　of　sending　for　you；　to　ask　if　you　didn't

mean　to　go　on。　　I　wanted　to　judge　what　I'm　letting　you　have。

This　sala　is　very　grand；〃　she　pursued；　like　an　auctioneer；

moving　a　little；　as　I　guessed；　her　invisible　eyes。

〃I　don't　believe　you　often　have　lived　in　such　a　house；　eh？〃



〃I　can't　often　afford　to！〃　　I　said。



〃Well　then；　how　much　will　you　give　for　six　months？〃



I　was　on　the　point　of　exclaimingand　the　air　of　excruciation

in　my　face　would　have　denoted　a　moral　face〃Don't；　Juliana；　for

HIS　sake；　don't！〃　But　I　controlled　myself　and　asked　less　passionately：

〃Why　should　I　remain　so　long　as　that？〃



〃I　thought　you　liked　it；〃　said　Miss　Bordereau　with　her　shriveled　dignity。



〃So　I　thought　I　should。〃



For　a　moment　she　said　nothing　more；　and　I　left　my　own　words　to　suggest

to　her　what　they　might。　　I　half…expected　her　to　say；　coldly　enough；

that　if　I　had　been　disappointed　we　need　not　continue　the　discussion；

and　this　in　spite　of　the　fact　that　I　believed　her　now　to　have　in　her　mind

（however　it　had　come　there）　what　would　have　told　her　that　my　disappointment

was　natural。　　But　to　my　extreme　surprise　she　ended　by　observing：

〃If　you　don't　think　we　have　treated　you　well　enough　perhaps　we　can　discover

some　way　of　treating　you　better。〃　　This　speech　was　somehow　so　incongruous

that　it　made　me　laugh　again；　and　I　excused　myself　by　saying　that　she　talked

as　if　I　were　a　sulky　boy；　pouting　in　the　corner；　to　be　〃brought　round。〃

I　had　not　a　grain　of　complaint　to　make；　and　could　anything　have　exceeded　Miss

Tita's　graciousness　in　accompanying　me　a　few　nights　before　to　the　Piazza？

At　this　the　old　woman　went　on：　　〃Well；　you　brought　it　on　yourself！〃

And　then　in　a　different　tone；　〃She　is　a　very　nice　girl。〃

I　assented　cordially　to　this　proposition；　and　she　expressed　the　hope

that　I　did　so　not　merely　to　be　obliging；　but　that　I　really　liked　her。

Meanwhile　I　wondered　still　more　what　Miss　Bordereau　was　coming　to。

〃Except　for　me；　today；〃　she　said；　〃she　has　not　a　relation　in　the　world。〃

Did　she　by　describing　her　niece　as　amiable　and　unencumbered　wish

to　represent　her　as　a　parti？



It　was　perfectly　true　that　I　could　not　afford　to　go　on　with　my

rooms　at　a　fancy　price　and　that　I　had　already　devoted　to　my

undertaking　almost　all　the　hard　cash　I　had　set　apart　for　it。

My　patience　and　my　time　were　by　no　means　exhausted；　but　I　should

be　able　to　draw　upon　them　only　on　a　more　usual　Venetian　basis。

I　was　willing　to　pay　the　venerable　woman　with　whom　my　pecuniary　dealings

were　such　a　discord　twice　as　much　as　any　other　padrona　di　casa　would

have　asked；　but　I　was　not　willing　to　pay　her　twenty　times　as　much。

I