the aspern papers-第13章

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〃I　don't　know　what　she　has　got。　　She　keeps　her　things　locked　up。〃

And　Miss　Tita　went　away；　toward　the　staircase；　with　the　sense

evidently　that　she　had　said　too　much。



I　let　her　goI　wished　not　to　frighten　herand　I　contented

myself　with　remarking　that　Miss　Bordereau　would　not　have　locked

up　such　a　glorious　possession　as　thata　thing　a　person　would

be　proud　of　and　hang　up　in　a　prominent　place　on　the　parlor　wall。

Therefore　of　course　she　had　not　any　portrait。

Miss　Tita　made　no　direct　answer　to　this　and；　candle　in　hand；

with　her　back　to　me；　ascended　two　or　three　stairs。

Then　she　stopped　short　and　turned　round；　looking　at　me　across

the　dusky　space。



〃Do　you　writedo　you　write？〃　　There　was　a　shake　in　her　voice

she　could　scarcely　bring　out　what　she　wanted　to　ask。



〃Do　I　write？　　Oh；　don't　speak　of　my　writing　on　the　same　day　with　Aspern's！〃



〃Do　you　write　about　HIMdo　you　pry　into　his　life？〃



〃Ah；　that's　your　aunt's　question；　it　can't　be　yours！〃

I　said；　in　a　tone　of　slightly　wounded　sensibility。



〃All　the　more　reason　then　that　you　should　answer　it。

Do　you；　please？〃



I　thought　I　had　allowed　for　the　falsehoods　I　should　have　to　tell；

but　I　found　that　in　fact　when　it　came　to　the　point　I　had　not。

Besides；　now　that　I　had　an　opening　there　was　a　kind　of　relief

in　being　frank。　　Lastly　（it　was　perhaps　fanciful；　even　fatuous）；

I　guessed　that　Miss　Tita　personally　would　not　in　the　last　resort

be　less　my　friend。　　So　after　a　moment's　hesitation　I　answered；

〃Yes；　I　have　written　about　him　and　I　am　looking　for　more　material。

In　heaven's　name　have　you　got　any？〃



〃Santo　Dio！〃　she　exclaimed；　without　heeding　my　question；

and　she　hurried　upstairs　and　out　of　sight。　　I　might　count

upon　her　in　the　last　resort；　but　for　the　present　she

was　visibly　alarmed。　　The　proof　of　it　was　that　she　began

to　hide　again；　so　that　for　a　fortnight　I　never　beheld　her。

I　found　my　patience　ebbing　and　after　four　or　five　days　of　this

I　told　the　gardener　to　stop　the　flowers。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　VI





One　afternoon；　as　I　came　down　from　my　quarters　to　go　out；

I　found　Miss　Tita　in　the　sala：　it　was　our　first

encounter　on　that　ground　since　I　had　come　to　the　house。

She　put　on　no　air　of　being　there　by　accident；　there　was　an

ignorance　of　such　arts　in　her　angular；　diffident　directness。

That　I　might　be　quite　sure　she　was　waiting　for　me　she　informed　me

of　the　fact　and　told　me　that　Miss　Bordereau　wished　to　see　me：

she　would　take　me　into　the　room　at　that　moment　if　I　had　time。

If　I　had　been　late　for　a　love　tryst　I　would　have　stayed　for　this；

and　I　quickly　signified　that　I　should　be　delighted　to　wait

upon　the　old　lady。　　〃She　wants　to　talk　with　youto　know　you；〃

Miss　Tita　said；　smiling　as　if　she　herself　appreciated　that　idea；

and　she　led　me　to　the　door　of　her　aunt's　apartment。

I　stopped　her　a　moment　before　she　had　opened　it；　looking　at

her　with　some　curiosity。　　I　told　her　that　this　was　a　great

satisfaction　to　me　and　a　great　honor；　but　all　the　same　I　should

like　to　ask　what　had　made　Miss　Bordereau　change　so　suddenly。

It　was　only　the　other　day　that　she　wouldn't　suffer　me　near　her。

Miss　Tita　was　not　embarrassed　by　my　question；　she　had　as　many

little　unexpected　serenities　as　if　she　told　fibs；　but　the　odd

part　of　them　was　that　they　had　on　the　contrary　their　source

in　her　truthfulness。　　〃Oh；　my　aunt　changes；〃　she　answered；

〃it's　so　terribly　dullI　suppose　she's　tired。〃



〃But　you　told　me　that　she　wanted　more　and　more　to　be　alone。〃



Poor　Miss　Tita　colored；　as　if　she　found　me　over…insistent。　〃Well；

if　you　don't　believe　she　wants　to　see　youI　haven't　invented　it！

I　think　people　often　are　capricious　when　they　are　very　old。〃



〃That's　perfectly　true。　　I　only　wanted　to　be　clear　as　to　whether

you　have　repeated　to　her　what　I　told　you　the　other　night。〃



〃What　you　told　me？〃



〃About　Jeffrey　Aspernthat　I　am　looking　for　materials。〃



〃If　I　had　told　her　do　you　think　she　would　have　sent　for　you？〃



〃That's　exactly　what　I　want　to　know。　　If　she　wants　to　keep

him　to　herself　she　might　have　sent　for　me　to　tell　me　so。〃



〃She　won't　speak　of　him；〃　said　Miss　Tita。　　Then　as　she　opened　the　door

she　added　in　a　lower　tone；　〃I　have　told　her　nothing。〃



The　old　woman　was　sitting　in　the　same　place　in　which　I　had　seen　her　last；

in　the　same　position；　with　the　same　mystifying　bandage　over　her　eyes。

her　welcome　was　to　turn　her　almost　invisible　face　to　me　and　show　me

that　while　she　sat　silent　she　saw　me　clearly。　　I　made　no　motion　to　shake

hands　with　her；　I　felt　too　well　on　this　occasion　that　that　was　out

of　place　forever。　　It　had　been　sufficiently　enjoined　upon　me　that　she

was　too　sacred　for　that　sort　of　reciprocitytoo　venerable　to　touch。

There　was　something　so　grim　in　her　aspect　（it　was　partly　the　accident

of　her　green　shade）；　as　I　stood　there　to　be　measured；　that　I　ceased

on　the　spot　to　feel　any　doubt　as　to　her　knowing　my　secret；　though　I　did

not　in　the　least　suspect　that　Miss　Tita　had　not　just　spoken　the　truth。

She　had　not　betrayed　me；　but　the　old　woman's　brooding　instinct　had

served　her；　she　had　turned　me　over　and　over　in　the　long；　still　hours；

and　she　had　guessed。　　The　worst　of　it　was　that　she　looked　terribly

like　an　old　woman　who　at　a　pinch　would　burn　her　papers。　　Miss　Tita　pushed

a　chair　forward；　saying　to　me；　〃This　will　be　a　good　place　for　you　to　sit。〃

As　I　took　possession　of　it　I　asked　after　Miss　Bordereau's　health；

expressed　the　hope　that　in　spite　of　the　very　hot　weather　it　was　satisfactory。

She　replied　that　it　was　good　enoughgood　enough；　that　it　was　a　great

thing　to　be　alive。



〃Oh；　as　to　that；　it　depends　upon　what　you　compare　it　with！〃

I　exclaimed；　laughing。



〃I　don't　compareI　don't　compare。　　If　I　did　that　I　should　have　given

everything　up　long　ago。〃



I　liked　to　think　that　this　was　a　subtle　allusion　to　the　rapture

she　had　known　in　the　society　of　Jeffrey　Aspernthough　it

was　true　that　such　an　allusion　would　have　accorded　ill　with

the　wish　I　imputed　to　her　to　keep　him　buried　in　her　soul。

What　it　accorded　with　was　my　constant　conviction　that　no　human

being　had　ever　had　a　more　delightful　social　gift　than　his；

and　what　it　seemed　to　convey　was　that　nothing　in　the　world

was　worth　speaking　of　if　one　pretended　to　speak　of　that。

But　one　did　not！　　Miss　Tita　sat　down　beside　her　aunt；

looking　as　if　she　had　reason　to　believe　some　very　remarkable

conversation　would　come　off　between　us。



〃It's　about　the　beautiful　flowers；〃　said　the　old　lady；

〃you　sent　us　so　manyI　ought　to　have　thanked　you　for　them　before。

But　I　don't　write　letters　and　I　receive　only　at　long　intervals。〃



She　had　not　thanked　me　while　the　flowers　continued　to　come；　but　she

departed　from　her　custom　so　far　as　to　send　for　me　as　soon　as　she

began　to　fear　that　they　would　not　come　any　more。　　I　noted　this；

I　remembered　what　an　acquisitive　propensity　she　had　shown　when　it

was　a　question　of　extracting　gold　from　me；　and　I　privately　rejoiced

at　the　happy　thought　I　had　had　in　suspending　my　tribute。　　She　had

missed　it　and　she　was　willing　to　make　a　concession　to　bring　it　back。

At　the　first　sign　of　this　concession　I　could　only　go　to　meet　her。

〃I　am　afraid　you　have　not　had　many；　of　late；　but　they　shall　begin

again　immediatelytomorrow；　tonight。〃



〃Oh；　do　send　us　some　tonight！〃　　Miss　Tita　cried；　as　if　it

were　an　immense　circumstance。



〃What　else　should　you　do　with　them？　　It　isn't　a　manly　taste　to　make　a　bower

of　your　room；〃　the　old　woman　remarked。



〃I　don't　make　a　bower　of　my　room；　but　I　am　exceedingly　fond　of　growing

flowers；　of　watching　their　ways。　　There　is　nothing　unmanly　in　that：

it　has　been　the　amusement　of　philosophers；　of　statesmen　in　retirement；

even　I　think　of　great　captains。〃



〃I　suppose　you　know　you　can　sell　themthose　you　don't　use；〃

Miss　Bordereau　went　on。　　〃I　daresay　they　wouldn't　give　you

much　for　them；　still；　you　could　make　a　bargain。〃



〃Oh；　I　have　never　made　a　bargain；　as　you　ought　to　know。

My　gardener　dispose