the garden of allah-第40章
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contempt。 The men she had been accustomed to meet all her life rode；
shot； played games as a matter of course。 She was herself an athlete；
and； like nearly all athletic women； inclined to be pitiless towards
any man who was not so strong and so agile as herself。 But this man
had killed her contempt at once by his desperate determination not to
be beaten。 She knew by the look she had just seen in his eyes that if
to ride with her that day meant death to him he would have done it
nevertheless。
The womanhood in her liked the tribute； almost more than liked it。
〃Your horse goes better now；〃 she said at last to break the silence。
〃Does it？〃 he said。
〃You don't know！〃
〃Madame； I know nothing of horses or riding。 I have not been on a
horse for twenty…three years。〃
She was amazed。
〃We ought to go back then；〃 she exclaimed。
〃Why？ Other men rideI will ride。 I do it badly。 Forgive me。〃
〃Forgive you！〃 she said。 〃I admire your pluck。 But why have you never
ridden all these years？〃
After a pause he answered：
〃II did notI had not the opportunity。〃
His voice was suddenly constrained。 She did not pursue the subject；
but stroked her horse's neck and turned her eyes towards the dark
green line on the horizon。 Now that she was really out in the desert
she felt almost bewildered by it； and as if she understood it far less
than when she looked at it from Count Anteoni's garden。 The thousands
upon thousands of sand humps； each crowned with its dusty dwarf bush；
each one precisely like the others； agitated her as if she were
confronted by a vast multitude of people。 She wanted some point which
would keep the eyes from travelling but could not find it； and was
mentally restless as the swimmer far out at sea who is pursued by wave
on wave； and who sees beyond him the unceasing foam of those that are
pressing to the horizon。 Whither was she riding？ Could one have a goal
in this immense expanse？ She felt an overpowering need to find one；
and looked once more at the green line。
〃Do you think we could go as far as that？〃 she asked Androvsky；
pointing with her whip。
〃Yes； Madame。〃
〃It must be an oasis。 Don't you think so？〃
〃Yes。 I can go faster。〃
〃Keep your rein loose。 Don't pull his mouth。 You don't mind my telling
you。 I've been with horses all my life。〃
〃Thank you；〃 he answered。
〃And keep your heels more out。 That's much better。 I'm sure you could
teach me a thousand things； it will be kind of you to let me teach you
this。〃
He cast a strange look at her。 There was gratitude in it； but much
more； a fiery bitterness and something childlike and helpless。
〃I have nothing to teach；〃 he said。
Their horses broke into a canter； and with the swifter movement Domini
felt more calm。 There was an odd lightness in her brain； as if her
thoughts were being shaken out of it like feathers out of a bag。 The
power of concentration was leaving her； and a sensation of
carelessnesssurely gipsy…likecame over her。 Her body； dipped in
the dry and thin air as in a clear； cool bath； did not suffer from the
burning rays of the sun； but felt radiant yet half lazy too。 They went
on and on in silence as intimate friends might ride together； isolated
from the world and content in each other's company； content enough to
have no need of talking。 Not once did it strike Domini as strange that
she should go far out into the desert with a man of whom she knew
nothing； but in whom she had noticed disquieting peculiarities。 She
was naturally fearless； but that had little to do with her conduct。
Without saying so to herself she felt she could trust this man。
The dark green line showed clearer through the sunshine across the
gleaming flats。 It was possible now to see slight irregularities in
it； as in a blurred dash of paint flung across a canvas by an
uncertain hand； but impossible to distinguish palm trees。 The air
sparkled as if full of a tiny dust of intensely brilliant jewels； and
near the ground there seemed to quiver a maze of dancing specks of
light。 Everywhere there was solitude； yet everywhere there was surely
a ceaseless movement of minute and vital things； scarce visible sun
fairies eternally at play。
And Domini's careless feeling grew。 She had never before experienced
so delicious a recklessness。 Head and heart were light； reckless of
thought or love。 Sad things had no meaning here and grave things no
place。 For the blood was full of sunbeams dancing to a lilt of Apollo。
Nothing mattered here。 Even Death wore a robe of gold and went with an
airy step。 Ah； yes； from this region of quivering light and heat the
Arabs drew their easy and lustrous resignation。 Out here one was in
the hands of a God who surely sang as He created and had not created
fear。
Many minutes passed； but Domini was careless of time as of all else。
The green line broke into feathery tufts； broadened into a still far…
off dimness of palms。
〃Water！〃
Androvsky's voice spoke as if startled。 Domini pulled up。 Their horses
stood side by side； and at once； with the cessation of motion； the
mysticism of the desert came upon them and the marvel of its silence；
and they seemed to be set there in a wonderful dream； themselves and
their horses dreamlike。
〃Water！〃 he said again。
He pointed； and along the right…hand edge of the oasis Domini saw
grey； calm waters。 The palms ran out into them and were bathed by them
softly。 And on their bosom here and there rose small； dim islets。 Yes；
there was water； and yet The mystery of it was a mystery she had
never known to brood even over a white northern sea in a twilight hour
of winter； was deeper than the mystery of the Venetian /laguna morta/；
when the Angelus bell chimes at sunset； and each distant boat； each
bending rower and patient fisherman； becomes a marvel； an eerie thing
in the gold。
〃Is it mirage？〃 she said to him almost in a whisper。
And suddenly she shivered。
〃Yes； it is； it must be。〃
He did not answer。 His left hand； holding the rein； dropped down on
the saddle peak； and he stared across the waste； leaning forward and
moving his lips。 She looked at him and forgot even the mirage in a
sudden longing to understand exactly what he was feeling。 His mystery
the mystery of that which is human and is forever stretching out its
armswas as the fluid mystery of the mirage； and seemed to blend at
that moment with the mystery she knew lay in herself。 The mirage was
within them as it was far off before them in the desert； still； grey；
full surely of indistinct movement； and even perhaps of sound they
could not hear。
At last he turned and looked at her。
〃Yes； it must be mirage；〃 he said。 〃The nothing that seems to be so
much。 A man comes out into the desert and he finds there mirage。 He
travels right out and that's what he reachesor at least he can't
reach it； but just sees it far away。 And that's all。 And is that what
a man finds when he comes out into the world？〃
It was the first time he had spoken without any trace of reserve to
her； for even on the tower； though there had been tumult in his voice
and a fierceness of some strange passion in his words； there had been
struggle in his manner； as if the pressure of feeling forced him to
speak in despite of something which bade him keep silence。 Now he
spoke as if to someone whom he knew and with whom he had talked of
many things。
〃But you ought to know better than I do；〃 she answered。
〃I！〃
〃Yes。 You are a man； and have been in the world； and must know what it
has to givewhether there's only mirage； or something that can be
grasped and felt and lived in； and〃
〃Yes； I'm a man and I ought to know；〃 he replied。 〃Well； I don't know；
but I mean to know。〃
There was a savage sound in his voice。
〃I should like to know； too；〃 Domini said quietly。 〃And I feel as if
it was the desert that was going to teach me。〃
〃The deserthow？〃
〃I don't know。〃
He pointed again to the mirage。
〃But that's what there is in the desert。〃
〃Thatand what else？〃
〃Is there anything else？〃
〃Perhaps everything；〃 she answered。 〃I am like you。 I want to know。〃
He looked straight into her eyes and there was something dominating in
his expression。
