the garden of allah-第117章

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meditating；　listening　to　the　bees　humming；　and　watching　the　cats
basking　in　the　sunshine。

〃Sometimes；　when　I　was　there；　I　thought　of　the　woman's　face　above　the
cemetery　wall。　Sometimes　I　seemed　to　feel　the　hand　tugging　at　mine。
But　I　was　more　at　peace　than　I　had　been　in　the　cemetery。　For　from　the
garden　I　could　not　see　the　distant　world；　and　of　the　chance　visitors
none　had　as　yet　set　a　match　to　the　torch　that；　unknown　to　me；　was
readyat　the　coming　of　the　smallest　sparkto　burst　into　a　flame。

〃One　day；　it　was　in　the　morning　towards　half…past　ten；　when　I　was
sitting　reading　my　Greek　Testament　on　a　bench　just　inside　the　doorway
of　the　/hotellerie/；　I　heard　the　great　door　of　the　monastery　being
opened；　and　then　the　rolling　of　carriage　wheels　in　the　courtyard。　Some
visitor　had　arrived　from　Tunis；　perhaps　some　visitorsthree　or　four。
It　was　a　radiant　morning　of　late　May。　The　garden　was　brilliant　with
flowers；　golden　with　sunshine；　tender　with　shade；　and　quietquiet　and
peaceful；　Domini！　There　was　a　wonderful　peace　in　the　garden　that　day；
a　peace　that　seemed　full　of　safety；　of　enduring　cheerfulness。　The
flowers　looked　as　if　they　had　hearts　to　understand　it；　and　love　it；
the　roses　along　the　yellow　wall　of　the　house　that　clambered　to　the
brown　red　tiles；　the　geraniums　that　grew　in　masses　under　the　shining
leaves　of　the　orange　trees；　theI　felt　as　if　that　day　I　were　in　the
Garden　of　Eden；　and　I　remember　that　when　I　heard　the　carriage　wheels　I
had　a　moment　of　selfish　sadness。　I　thought：　'Why　does　anyone　come　to
disturb　my　blessed　peace；　my　blessed　solitude？'　Then　I　realised　the
egoism　of　my　thought　and　that　I　was　there　with　my　duty。　I　got　up；　went
into　the　kitchen　and　said　to　Francois；　the　servant；　that　someone　had
come　and　no　doubt　would　stay　to　/dejeuner/。　And；　as　I　spoke；　already　I
was　thinking　of　the　moment　when　I　should　hear　the　roll　of　wheels　once
more；　the　clang　of　the　shutting　gate；　and　know　that　the　intruders　upon
the　peace　of　the　Trappists　had　gone　back　to　the　world；　and　that　I
could　once　more　be　alone　in　the　little　Eden　I　loved。

〃Strangely；　Domini；　strangely；　that　day；　of　all　the　days　of　my　life；　I
was　most　in　loveit　was　like　that；　like　being　in　lovewith　my　monk's
existence。　The　terrible　feeling　that　had　begun　to　ravage　me　had
completely　died　away。　I　adored　the　peace　in　which　my　days　were　passed。
I　looked　at　the　flowers　and　compared　my　happiness　with　theirs。　They
blossomed；　bloomed；　faded；　died　in　the　garden。　So　would　I　wish　to
blossom；　bloom；　fadewhen　my　time　camedie　in　the　gardenalways　in
peace；　always　in　safety；　always　isolated　from　the　terrors　of　life；
always　under　the　tender　watchful　eye　ofofDomini；　that　day　I　was
happy；　as　perhaps　they　areperhapsthe　saints　in　Paradise。　I　was
happy　because　I　felt　no　inclination　to　evil。　I　felt　as　if　my　joy　lay
entirely　in　being　innocent。　Oh；　what　an　ecstasy　such　a　feeling　is！　'My
will　accord　with　Thy　designI　love　to　live　as　Thou　intendest　me　to
live！　Any　other　way　of　life　would　be　to　me　a　terror；　would　bring　to　me
despair。'

〃And　I　felt　thatintensely　I　felt　it　at　that　moment　in　heart　and
soul。　It　was　as　if　I　had　God's　arms　round　me；　caressing　me　as　a　father
caresses　his　child。〃

He　moved　away　a　step　or　two　in　the　sand；　came　back；　and　went　on　with
an　effort：

〃Within　a　few　minutes　the　porter　of　the　monastery　came　through　the
archway　of　the　arcade　followed　by　a　young　man。　As　I　looked　up　at　him　I
was　uncertain　of　his　nationality。　But　I　scarcely　thought　about　it
except　in　the　first　moment。　For　something　else　seized　my　attention
the　intense；　active　misery　in　the　stranger's　face。　He　looked　ravaged；
eaten　by　grief。　I　said　he　was　youngperhaps　twenty…six　or　twenty…
seven。　His　face　was　rather　dark…complexioned；　with　small；　good
features。　He　had　thick　brown　hair；　and　his　eyes　shone　with
intelligence；　with　an　intelligence　that　was　almost　painfulsomehow。
His　eyes　always　looked　to　me　as　if　they　were　seeing　too　much；　had
always　seen　too　much。　There　was　a　restlessness　in　the　swiftness　of
their　observation。　One　could　not　conceive　of　them　closed　in　sleep。　An
activity　that　must　surely　be　eternal　blazed　in　them。

〃The　porter　left　the　stranger　in　the　archway。　It　was　now　my　duty　to
attend　to　him。　I　welcomed　him　in　French。　He　took　off　his　hat。　When　he
did　that　I　felt　sure　he　was　an　Englishmanby　the　look　of　him
bareheadedand　I　told　him　that　I　spoke　English　as　well　as　French。　He
answered　that　he　was　at　home　in　French；　but　that　he　was　English。　We
talked　English。　His　entrance　into　the　garden　had　entirely　destroyed　my
sense　of　its　peaceeven　my　own　peace　was　disturbed　at　once　by　his
appearance。

〃I　felt　that　I　was　in　the　presence　of　a　misery　that　was　like　a
devouring　element。　Before　we　had　time　for　more　than　a　very　few　halting
words　the　bell　was　rung　by　Francois。

〃'What's　that　for；　Father？'　the　stranger　said；　with　a　start；　which
showed　that　his　nerves　were　shattered。

〃'It　is　time　for　your　meal；'　I　answered。

〃'One　must　eat！'　he　said。　Then；　as　if　conscious　that　he　was　behaving
oddly；　he　added　politely：

〃'I　know　you　entertain　us　too　well　here；　and　have　sometimes　been
rewarded　with　coarse　ingratitude。　Where　do　I　go？'

〃I　showed　him　into　the　parlour。　There　was　no　one　there　that　day。　He
sat　at　the　long　table。

〃'I　am　to　eat　alone？'　he　asked。

〃'Yes；　I　will　serve　you。'

〃Francois；　always　waited　on　the　guests；　but　that　daymindful　of　the
selfishness　of　my　thoughts　in　the　gardenI　resolved　to　add　to　my
duties。　I　therefore　brought　the　soup；　the　lentils；　the　omelette；　the
oranges；　poured　out　the　wine；　and　urged　the　young　man　cordially　to
eat。　When　I　did　so　he　looked　up　at　me。　His　eyes　were　extraordinarily
expressive。　It　was　as　if　I　heard　them　say　to　me；　'Why；　I　like　you！'
and　as　if；　just　for　a　moment；　his　grief　were　lessened。

〃In　the　empty　parlour；　long；　clean；　bare；　with　a　crucifix　on　the　wall
and　the　name　'Saint　Bernard'　above　the　door；　it　was　very　quiet；　very
shady。　The　outer　blinds　of　green　wood　were　drawn　over　the　window…
spaces；　shutting　out　the　gold　of　the　garden。　But　its　murmuring
tranquillity　seemed　to　filter　in；　as　if　the　flowers；　the　insects；　the
birds　were　aware　of　our　presence　and　were　trying　to　say　to　us；　'Are
you　happy　as　we　are？　Be　happy　as　we　are。'

〃The　stranger　looked　at　the　shady　room；　the　open　windows。　He　sighed。

〃'How　quiet　it　is　here！'　he　said；　almost　as　if　to　himself。　'How　quiet
it　is！'

〃'Yes；'　I　answered。　'Summer　is　beginning。　For　months　now　scarcely
anyone　will　come　to　us　here。'

〃'Us？'　he　said；　glancing　at　me　with　a　sudden　smile。

〃'I　meant　to　us　who　are　monks；　who　live　always　here。'

〃'May　Iis　it　indiscreet　to　ask　if　you　have　been　here　long？'

〃I　told　him。

〃'More　than　nineteen　years！'　he　said。

〃'Yes。'

〃'And　always　in　this　silence？'

〃He　sat　as　if　listening；　resting　his　head　on　his　hand。

〃'How　extraordinary！'　he　said　at　last。　'How　wonderful！　Is　it
happiness？'

〃I　did　not　answer。　The　question　seemed　to　me　to　be　addressed　to
himself；　not　to　me。　I　could　leave　him　to　seek　for　the　answer。　After　a
moment　he　went　on　eating　and　drinking　in　silence。　When　he　had　finished
I　asked　him　whether　he　would　take　coffee。　He　said　he　would；　and　I　made
him　pass　into　the　St。　Joseph　/salle/。　There　I　brought　him　coffee　and
and　that　liqueur。　I　told　him　that　it　was　my　invention。　He　seemed　to　be
interested。　At　any　rate；　he　took　a　glass　and　praised　it　strongly。　I
was　pleased。　I　think　I　showed　it。　From　that　moment　I　felt　as　if　we
were　almost　friends。　Never　before　had　I　experienced　such　a　feeling　for
anyone　who　had　come　to　the　monastery；　or　for　any　monk　or　novice　in　the
monastery。　Although　I　had　been　vexed；　irritated；　at　the　approach　of　a
stranger　I　now　felt　regret　at　the　idea　of　his　going　away。　Presently
the　time　came　to　show　him　round　the　garden。　We　went　out　of　the　shadowy
parlour　into　the　sunshine。　No　one　was　in　the　garden。　Only　the　bees
were　humming；　the　birds　were　passing；　the　cats　were　basking　on　the
broad　path　that　stretched　from　the　arcade　along　the　front　of　the
/hotellerie/。　As　we　came　out　a　bell　chimed；　breaking　for　an　instant
the　silence；　and　making　it　seem　the　sweeter　when　it　returned。　We
strolled　for　a　little　while。　We　did　not　talk　much。　The　stranger's
eyes；