lecture09-第1章

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Lecture　IX







CONVERSION







To　be　converted；　to　be　regenerated；　to　receive　grace；　to



experience　religion；　to　gain　an　assurance；　are　so　many　phrases



which　denote　the　process；　gradual　or　sudden；　by　which　a　self



hitherto　divided；　and　consciously　wrong　inferior　and　unhappy；



becomes　unified　and　consciously　right　superior　and　happy；　in



consequence　of　its　firmer　hold　upon　religious　realities。　　This　at



least　is　what　conversion　signifies　in　general　terms；　whether　or



not　we　believe　that　a　direct　divine　operation　is　needed　to　bring



such　a　moral　change　about。







Before　entering　upon　a　minuter　study　of　the　process；　let　me



enliven　our　understanding　of　the　definition　by　a　concrete



example。　　I　choose　the　quaint　case　of　an　unlettered　man；　Stephen



H。　Bradley；　whose　experience　is　related　in　a　scarce　American



pamphlet。＇98＇







＇98＇　A　sketch　of　the　life　of　Stephen　H。　Bradley；　from　the　age　of



five　to　twenty　four　years；　including　his　remarkable　experience　of



the　power　of　the　Holy　Spirit　on　the　second　evening　of　November；



1829。　Madison；　Connecticut；　1830。















I　select　this　case　because　it　shows　how　in　these　inner



alterations　one　may　find　one　unsuspected　depth　below　another；　as



if　the　possibilities　of　character　lay　disposed　in　a　series　of



layers　or　shells；　of　whose　existence　we　have　no　premonitory



knowledge。







Bradley　thought　that　he　had　been　already　fully　converted　at　the



age　of　fourteen。







〃I　thought　I　saw　the　Saviour；　by　faith；　in　human　shape；　for　about



one　second　in　the　room；　with　arms　extended；　appearing　to　say　to



me；　Come。　　The　next　day　I　rejoiced　with　trembling；　soon　after；　my



happiness　was　so　great　that　I　said　that　I　wanted　to　die；　this



world　had　no　place　in　my　affections；　as　I　knew　of；　and　every　day



appeared　as　solemn　to　me　as　the　Sabbath。　　I　had　an　ardent　desire



that　all　mankind　might　feel　as　I　did；　I　wanted　to　have　them　all



love　God　supremely。　　Previous　to　this　time　I　was　very　selfish　and



self…righteous；　but　now　I　desired　the　welfare　of　all　mankind；　and



could　with　a　feeling　heart　forgive　my　worst　enemies；　and　I　felt



as　if　I　should　be　willing　to　bear　the　scoffs　and　sneers　of　any



person；　and　suffer　anything　for　His　sake；　if　I　could　be　the　means



in　the　hands　of　God；　of　the　conversion　of　one　soul。〃







Nine　years　later；　in　1829；　Mr。　Bradley　heard　of　a　revival　of



religion　that　had　begun　in　his　neighborhood。　　〃Many　of　the　young



converts；〃　he　says；　〃would　come　to　me　when　in　meeting　and　ask　me



if　I　had　religion；　and　my　reply　generally　was；　I　hope　I　have。　



This　did　not　appear　to　satisfy　them；　they　said　they　KNEW　THEY　had



it。　　I　requested　them　to　pray　for　me；　thinking　with　myself；　that



if　I　had　not　got　religion　now；　after　so　long　a　time　professing　to



be　a　Christian；　that　it　was　time　I　had；　and　hoped　their　prayers



would　be　answered　in　my　behalf。







〃One　Sabbath；　I　went　to　hear　the　Methodist　at　the　Academy。　He



spoke　of　the　ushering　in　of　the　day　of　general　judgment；　and　he



set　it　forth　in　such　a　solemn　and　terrible　manner　as　I　never



heard　before。　　The　scene　of　that　day　appeared　to　be　taking　place；



and　so　awakened　were　all　the　powers　of　my　mind　that；　like　Felix；



I　trembled　involuntarily　on　the　bench　where　I　was　sitting；　though



I　felt　nothing　at　heart。　　The　next　day　evening　I　went　to　hear　him



again。　　He　took　his　text　from　Revelation：　　'And　I　saw　the　dead；



small　and　great；　stand　before　God。'　　And　he　represented　the



terrors　of　that　day　in　such　a　manner　that　it　appeared　as　if　it



would　melt　the　heart　of　stone。　　When　he　finished　his　discourse；



an　old　gentleman　turned　to　me　and　said　'This　is　what　I　call



preaching。'　　I　thought　the　same；　but　my　feelings　were　still



unmoved　by　what　he　said；　and　I　did　not　enjoy　religion；　but　I



believe　he　did。







〃I　will　now　relate　my　experience　of　the　power　of　the　Holy　Spirit



which　took　place　on　the　same　night。　　Had　any　person　told　



me　previous　to　this　that　I　could　have　experienced　the　power　of



the　Holy　Spirit　in　the　manner　which　I　did；　I　could　not　have



believed　it；　and　should　have　thought　the　person　deluded　that　told



me　so。　　I　went　directly　home　after　the　meeting；　and　when　I　got



home　I　wondered　what　made　me　feel　so　stupid。　　I　retired　to　rest



soon　after　I　got　home；　and　felt　indifferent　to　the　things　of



religion　until　I　began　to　be　exercised　by　the　Holy　Spirit；　which



began　in　about　five　minutes　after；　in　the　following　manner：







〃At　first；　I　began　to　feel　my　heart　beat　very　quick　all　on　a



sudden；　which　made　me　at　first　think　that　perhaps　something　is



going　to　ail　me；　though　I　was　not　alarmed；　for　I　felt　no　pain。　



My　heart　increased　in　its　beating；　which　soon　convinced　me　that



it　was　the　Holy　Spirit　from　the　effect　it　had　on　me。　　I　began　to



feel　exceedingly　happy　and　humble；　and　such　a　sense　of



unworthiness　as　I　never　felt　before。　　I　could　not　very　well　help



speaking　out；　which　I　did；　and　said；　Lord；　I　do　not　deserve　this



happiness；　or　words　to　that　effect；　while　there　was　a　stream



（resembling　air　in　feeling）　came　into　my　mouth　and　heart　in　a



more　sensible　manner　than　that　of　drinking　anything；　which



continued；　as　near　as　I　could　judge；　five　minutes　or　more；　which



appeared　to　be　the　cause　of　such　a　palpitation　of　my　heart。　　It



took　complete　possession　of　my　soul；　and　I　am　certain　that　I



desired　the　Lord；　while　in　the　midst　of　it；　not　to　give　me　any



more　happiness；　for　it　seemed　as　if　I　could　not　contain　what　I



had　got。　　My　heart　seemed　as　if　it　would　burst；　but　it　did　not



stop　until　I　felt　as　if　I　was　unutterably　full　of　the　love　and



grace　of　God。　　In　the　mean　time　while　thus　exercised；　a　thought



arose　in　my　mind；　what　can　it　mean？　　and　all　at　once；　as　if　to



answer　it；　my　memory　became　exceedingly　clear；　and　it　appeared　to



me　just　as　if　the　New　Testament　was　placed　open　before　me；　eighth



chapter　of　Romans；　and　as　light　as　if　some　candle　lighted　was



held　for　me　to　read　the　26th　and　27th　verses　of　that　chapter；　and



I　read　these　words：　　'The　Spirit　helpeth　our　infirmities　with



groanings　which　cannot　be　uttered。'　　And　all　the　time　that　my



heart　was　a…beating；　it　made　me　groan　like　a　person　in　distress；



which　was　not　very　easy　to　stop；　though　I　was　in　no　pain　at　all；



and　my　brother　being　in　bed　in　another　room　came　and　opened　the



door；　and　asked　me　if　I　had　got　the　toothache。　　I　told　him　no；　



and　that　he　might　get　to　sleep。　I　tried　to　stop。　　I　felt



unwilling　to　go　to　sleep　myself；　I　was　so　happy；　fearing　I　should



lose　it　thinking　within　myself







　　　　　　　　　　'My　willing　soul　would　stay



　　　　　　　　　　　In　such　a　frame　as　this。'







And　while　I　lay　reflecting；　after　my　heart　stopped　beating；



feeling　as　if　my　soul　was　full　of　the　Holy　Spirit；　I　thought　that



perhaps　there　might　be　angels　hovering　round　my　bed。　　I　felt　just



as　if　I　wanted　to　converse　with　them；　and　finally　I　spoke；　saying



'O　ye　affectionate　angels！　how　is　it　that　ye　can　take　so　much



interest　in　our　welfare；　and　we　take　so　little　interest　in　our



own。'　　After　this；　with　difficulty　I　got　to　sleep；　and　when　I



awoke　in　the　morning　my　first　thoughts　were：　　What　has　become　of



my　happiness？　　and；　feeling　a　degree　of　it　in　my　heart；　I　asked



for　more；　which　was　given　to　me　as　quick　as　thought。　　I　then　got



up　to　dress　myself；　and　found　to　my　surprise　that　I　could　but



just　stand。　　It　appeared　to　me　as　if　it　was　a　little　heaven　upon



earth。　　My　soul　felt　as　completely　raised　above　the　fears　of



death　as　of　going　to　sleep；　and　like　a　bird　in　a　cage；　I　had　a



desire；　if