the uncommercial traveller-第37章

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Specks's　society　I　had　new　occasion　to　observe　what　I　had　before

noticed　in　similar　communications　among　other　men。　　All　the

schoolfellows　and　others　of　old；　whom　I　inquired　about；　had　either

done　superlatively　well　or　superlatively　ill　…　had　either　become

uncertificated　bankrupts；　or　been　felonious　and　got　themselves

transported；　or　had　made　great　hits　in　life；　and　done　wonders。　　And

this　is　so　commonly　the　case；　that　I　never　can　imagine　what　becomes

of　all　the　mediocre　people　of　people's　youth　…　especially

considering　that　we　find　no　lack　of　the　species　in　our　maturity。

But；　I　did　not　propound　this　difficulty　to　Specks；　for　no　pause　in

the　conversation　gave　me　an　occasion。　　Nor；　could　I　discover　one

single　flaw　in　the　good　doctor　…　when　he　reads　this；　he　will

receive　in　a　friendly　spirit　the　pleasantly　meant　record　…　except

that　he　had　forgotten　his　Roderick　Random；　and　that　he　confounded

Strap　with　Lieutenant　Hatchway；　who　never　knew　Random；　howsoever

intimate　with　Pickle。



When　I　went　alone　to　the　Railway　to　catch　my　train　at　night　（Specks

had　meant　to　go　with　me；　but　was　inopportunely　called　out）；　I　was

in　a　more　charitable　mood　with　Dullborough　than　I　had　been　all　day；

and　yet　in　my　heart　I　had　loved　it　all　day　too。　　Ah！　who　was　I　that

I　should　quarrel　with　the　town　for　being　changed　to　me；　when　I

myself　had　come　back；　so　changed；　to　it！　　All　my　early　readings　and

early　imaginations　dated　from　this　place；　and　I　took　them　away　so

full　of　innocent　construction　and　guileless　belief；　and　I　brought

them　back　so　worn　and　torn；　so　much　the　wiser　and　so　much　the

worse！







CHAPTER　XIII　…　NIGHT　WALKS







Some　years　ago；　a　temporary　inability　to　sleep；　referable　to　a

distressing　impression；　caused　me　to　walk　about　the　streets　all

night；　for　a　series　of　several　nights。　　The　disorder　might　have

taken　a　long　time　to　conquer；　if　it　had　been　faintly　experimented

on　in　bed；　but；　it　was　soon　defeated　by　the　brisk　treatment　of

getting　up　directly　after　lying　down；　and　going　out；　and　coming

home　tired　at　sunrise。



In　the　course　of　those　nights；　I　finished　my　education　in　a　fair

amateur　experience　of　houselessness。　　My　principal　object　being　to

get　through　the　night；　the　pursuit　of　it　brought　me　into

sympathetic　relations　with　people　who　have　no　other　object　every

night　in　the　year。



The　month　was　March；　and　the　weather　damp；　cloudy；　and　cold。　　The

sun　not　rising　before　half…past　five；　the　night　perspective　looked

sufficiently　long　at　half…past　twelve：　　which　was　about　my　time　for

confronting　it。



The　restlessness　of　a　great　city；　and　the　way　in　which　it　tumbles

and　tosses　before　it　can　get　to　sleep；　formed　one　of　the　first

entertainments　offered　to　the　contemplation　of　us　houseless　people。

It　lasted　about　two　hours。　　We　lost　a　great　deal　of　companionship

when　the　late　public…houses　turned　their　lamps　out；　and　when　the

potmen　thrust　the　last　brawling　drunkards　into　the　street；　but

stray　vehicles　and　stray　people　were　left　us；　after　that。　　If　we

were　very　lucky；　a　policeman's　rattle　sprang　and　a　fray　turned　up；

but；　in　general；　surprisingly　little　of　this　diversion　was

provided。　　Except　in　the　Haymarket；　which　is　the　worst　kept　part　of

London；　and　about　Kent…street　in　the　Borough；　and　along　a　portion

of　the　line　of　the　Old　Kent…road；　the　peace　was　seldom　violently

broken。　　But；　it　was　always　the　case　that　London；　as　if　in

imitation　of　individual　citizens　belonging　to　it；　had　expiring　fits

and　starts　of　restlessness。　　After　all　seemed　quiet；　if　one　cab

rattled　by；　half…a…dozen　would　surely　follow；　and　Houselessness

even　observed　that　intoxicated　people　appeared　to　be　magnetically

attracted　towards　each　other；　so　that　we　knew　when　we　saw　one

drunken　object　staggering　against　the　shutters　of　a　shop；　that

another　drunken　object　would　stagger　up　before　five　minutes　were

out；　to　fraternise　or　fight　with　it。　　When　we　made　a　divergence

from　the　regular　species　of　drunkard；　the　thin…armed；　puff…faced；

leaden…lipped　gin…drinker；　and　encountered　a　rarer　specimen　of　a

more　decent　appearance；　fifty　to　one　but　that　specimen　was　dressed

in　soiled　mourning。　　As　the　street　experience　in　the　night；　so　the

street　experience　in　the　day；　the　common　folk　who　come　unexpectedly

into　a　little　property；　come　unexpectedly　into　a　deal　of　liquor。



At　length　these　flickering　sparks　would　die　away；　worn　out　…　the

last　veritable　sparks　of　waking　life　trailed　from　some　late　pieman

or　hot…potato　man　…　and　London　would　sink　to　rest。　　And　then　the

yearning　of　the　houseless　mind　would　be　for　any　sign　of　company；

any　lighted　place；　any　movement；　anything　suggestive　of　any　one

being　up　…　nay；　even　so　much　as　awake；　for　the　houseless　eye　looked

out　for　lights　in　windows。



Walking　the　streets　under　the　pattering　rain；　Houselessness　would

walk　and　walk　and　walk；　seeing　nothing　but　the　interminable　tangle

of　streets；　save　at　a　corner；　here　and　there；　two　policemen　in

conversation；　or　the　sergeant　or　inspector　looking　after　his　men。

Now　and　then　in　the　night　…　but　rarely　…　Houselessness　would　become

aware　of　a　furtive　head　peering　out　of　a　doorway　a　few　yards　before

him；　and；　coming　up　with　the　head；　would　find　a　man　standing　bolt

upright　to　keep　within　the　doorway's　shadow；　and　evidently　intent

upon　no　particular　service　to　society。　　Under　a　kind　of

fascination；　and　in　a　ghostly　silence　suitable　to　the　time；

Houselessness　and　this　gentleman　would　eye　one　another　from　head　to

foot；　and　so；　without　exchange　of　speech；　part；　mutually

suspicious。　　Drip；　drip；　drip；　from　ledge　and　coping；　splash　from

pipes　and　water…spouts；　and　by…and…by　the　houseless　shadow　would

fall　upon　the　stones　that　pave　the　way　to　Waterloo…bridge；　it　being

in　the　houseless　mind　to　have　a　halfpenny　worth　of　excuse　for

saying　'Good…night'　to　the　toll…keeper；　and　catching　a　glimpse　of

his　fire。　　A　good　fire　and　a　good　great…coat　and　a　good　woollen

neck…shawl；　were　comfortable　things　to　see　in　conjunction　with　the

toll…keeper；　also　his　brisk　wakefulness　was　excellent　company　when

he　rattled　the　change　of　halfpence　down　upon　that　metal　table　of

his；　like　a　man　who　defied　the　night；　with　all　its　sorrowful

thoughts；　and　didn't　care　for　the　coming　of　dawn。　　There　was　need

of　encouragement　on　the　threshold　of　the　bridge；　for　the　bridge　was

dreary。　　The　chopped…up　murdered　man；　had　not　been　lowered　with　a

rope　over　the　parapet　when　those　nights　were；　he　was　alive；　and

slept　then　quietly　enough　most　likely；　and　undisturbed　by　any　dream

of　where　he　was　to　come。　　But　the　river　had　an　awful　look；　the

buildings　on　the　banks　were　muffled　in　black　shrouds；　and　the

reflected　lights　seemed　to　originate　deep　in　the　water；　as　if　the

spectres　of　suicides　were　holding　them　to　show　where　they　went

down。　　The　wild　moon　and　clouds　were　as　restless　as　an　evil

conscience　in　a　tumbled　bed；　and　the　very　shadow　of　the　immensity

of　London　seemed　to　lie　oppressively　upon　the　river。



Between　the　bridge　and　the　two　great　theatres；　there　was　but　the

distance　of　a　few　hundred　paces；　so　the　theatres　came　next。　　Grim

and　black　within；　at　night；　those　great　dry　Wells；　and　lonesome　to

imagine；　with　the　rows　of　faces　faded　out；　the　lights　extinguished；

and　the　seats　all　empty。　　One　would　think　that　nothing　in　them　knew

itself　at　such　a　time　but　Yorick's　skull。　　In　one　of　my　night

walks；　as　the　church　steeples　were　shaking　the　March　winds　and　rain

with　the　strokes　of　Four；　I　passed　the　outer　boundary　of　one　of

these　great　deserts；　and　entered　it。　　With　a　dim　lantern　in　my

hand；　I　groped　my　well…known　way　to　the　stage　and　looked　over　the

orchestra　…　which　was　like　a　great　grave　dug　for　a　time　of

pestilence　…　into　the　void　beyond。　　A　dismal　cavern　of　an　immense

aspect；　with　the　chandelier　gone　dead　like　everything　else；　and

nothing　visible　through　mist　and　fog　and　space；　but　tiers　of

winding…sheets。　　The　ground　at　my　feet　where；　when　last　there；　I

had　seen