the uncommercial traveller-第31章
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profound despondency。 Arriving at the bottom of the hill and
coming close to the figure； you observe it to be the figure of a
shabby young man。 He is moving painfully forward； in the direction
in which you are going； and his mind is so preoccupied with his
misfortunes that he is not aware of your approach until you are
close upon him at the hill…foot。 When he is aware of you； you
discover him to be a remarkably well…behaved young man； and a
remarkably well…spoken young man。 You know him to be well…behaved；
by his respectful manner of touching his hat： you know him to be
well…spoken； by his smooth manner of expressing himself。 He says
in a flowing confidential voice； and without punctuation； 'I ask
your pardon sir but if you would excuse the liberty of being so
addressed upon the public Iway by one who is almost reduced to rags
though it as not always been so and by no fault of his own but
through ill elth in his family and many unmerited sufferings it
would be a great obligation sir to know the time。' You give the
well…spoken young man the time。 The well…spoken young man； keeping
well up with you； resumes： 'I am aware sir that it is a liberty to
intrude a further question on a gentleman walking for his
entertainment but might I make so bold as ask the favour of the way
to Dover sir and about the distance？' You inform the well…spoken
young man that the way to Dover is straight on； and the distance
some eighteen miles。 The well…spoken young man becomes greatly
agitated。 'In the condition to which I am reduced；' says he； 'I
could not ope to reach Dover before dark even if my shoes were in a
state to take me there or my feet were in a state to old out over
the flinty road and were not on the bare ground of which any
gentleman has the means to satisfy himself by looking Sir may I
take the liberty of speaking to you？' As the well…spoken young man
keeps so well up with you that you can't prevent his taking the
liberty of speaking to you； he goes on； with fluency： 'Sir it is
not begging that is my intention for I was brought up by the best
of mothers and begging is not my trade I should not know sir how to
follow it as a trade if such were my shameful wishes for the best
of mothers long taught otherwise and in the best of omes though now
reduced to take the present liberty on the Iway Sir my business was
the law…stationering and I was favourably known to the Solicitor…
General the Attorney…General the majority of the judges and the ole
of the legal profession but through ill elth in my family and the
treachery of a friend for whom I became security and he no other
than my own wife's brother the brother of my own wife I was cast
forth with my tender partner and three young children not to beg
for I will sooner die of deprivation but to make my way to the sea…
port town of Dover where I have a relative i in respect not only
that will assist me but that would trust me with untold gold Sir in
appier times and hare this calamity fell upon me I made for my
amusement when I little thought that I should ever need it
excepting for my air this' … here the well…spoken young man put his
hand into his breast … 'this comb！ Sir I implore you in the name
of charity to purchase a tortoiseshell comb which is a genuine
article at any price that your humanity may put upon it and may the
blessings of a ouseless family awaiting with beating arts the
return of a husband and a father from Dover upon the cold stone
seats of London…bridge ever attend you Sir may I take the liberty
of speaking to you I implore you to buy this comb！' By this time；
being a reasonably good walker； you will have been too much for the
well…spoken young man； who will stop short and express his disgust
and his want of breath； in a long expectoration； as you leave him
behind。
Towards the end of the same walk； on the same bright summer day； at
the corner of the next little town or village； you may find another
kind of tramp； embodied in the persons of a most exemplary couple
whose only improvidence appears to have been； that they spent the
last of their little All on soap。 They are a man and woman；
spotless to behold … John Anderson； with the frost on his short
smock…frock instead of his 'pow；' attended by Mrs。 Anderson。 John
is over…ostentatious of the frost upon his raiment； and wears a
curious and； you would say； an almost unnecessary demonstration of
girdle of white linen wound about his waist … a girdle； snowy as
Mrs。 Anderson's apron。 This cleanliness was the expiring effort of
the respectable couple； and nothing then remained to Mr。 Anderson
but to get chalked upon his spade in snow…white copy…book
characters； HUNGRY！ and to sit down here。 Yes； one thing more
remained to Mr。 Anderson … his character； Monarchs could not
deprive him of his hard…earned character。 Accordingly； as you come
up with this spectacle of virtue in distress； Mrs。 Anderson rises；
and with a decent curtsey presents for your consideration a
certificate from a Doctor of Divinity； the reverend the Vicar of
Upper Dodgington； who informs his Christian friends and all whom it
may concern that the bearers； John Anderson and lawful wife； are
persons to whom you cannot be too liberal。 This benevolent pastor
omitted no work of his hands to fit the good couple out； for with
half an eye you can recognise his autograph on the spade。
Another class of tramp is a man； the most valuable part of whose
stock…in…trade is a highly perplexed demeanour。 He is got up like
a countryman； and you will often come upon the poor fellow； while
he is endeavouring to decipher the inscription on a milestone …
quite a fruitless endeavour； for he cannot read。 He asks your
pardon； he truly does （he is very slow of speech； this tramp； and
he looks in a bewildered way all round the prospect while he talks
to you）； but all of us shold do as we wold be done by； and he'll
take it kind； if you'll put a power man in the right road fur to
jine his eldest son as has broke his leg bad in the masoning； and
is in this heere Orspit'l as is wrote down by Squire Pouncerby's
own hand as wold not tell a lie fur no man。 He then produces from
under his dark frock （being always very slow and perplexed） a neat
but worn old leathern purse； from which he takes a scrap of paper。
On this scrap of paper is written； by Squire Pouncerby； of The
Grove； 'Please to direct the Bearer； a poor but very worthy man； to
the Sussex County Hospital； near Brighton' … a matter of some
difficulty at the moment； seeing that the request comes suddenly
upon you in the depths of Hertfordshire。 The more you endeavour to
indicate where Brighton is … when you have with the greatest
difficulty remembered … the less the devoted father can be made to
comprehend； and the more obtusely he stares at the prospect；
whereby； being reduced to extremity； you recommend the faithful
parent to begin by going to St。 Albans； and present him with half…
a…crown。 It does him good； no doubt； but scarcely helps him
forward； since you find him lying drunk that same evening in the
wheelwright's sawpit under the shed where the felled trees are；
opposite the sign of the Three Jolly Hedgers。
But； the most vicious； by far； of all the idle tramps； is the tramp
who pretends to have been a gentleman。 'Educated；' he writes； from
the village beer…shop in pale ink of a ferruginous complexion；
'educated at Trin。 Coll。 Cam。 … nursed in the lap of affluence …
once in my small way the pattron of the Muses；' &c。 &c。 &c。 …
surely a sympathetic mind will not withhold a trifle； to help him
on to the market…town where he thinks of giving a Lecture to the
FRUGES CONSUMERE NATI； on things in general？ This shameful
creature lolling about hedge tap…rooms in his ragged clothes； now
so far from being black that they look as if they never can have
been black； is more selfish and insolent than even the savage
tramp。 He would sponge on the poorest bo
