the uncommercial traveller-第30章

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from　Dorking；　who　takes　his　whole　establishment　of　wives；　in　single

file；　in　at　the　door　of　the　jug　Department　of　a　disorderly　tavern

near　the　Haymarket；　manoeuvres　them　among　the　company's　legs；

emerges　with　them　at　the　Bottle　Entrance；　and　so　passes　his　life：

seldom；　in　the　season；　going　to　bed　before　two　in　the　morning。

Over　Waterloo…bridge；　there　is　a　shabby　old　speckled　couple　（they

belong　to　the　wooden　French…bedstead；　washing…stand；　and　towel…

horse…making　trade）；　who　are　always　trying　to　get　in　at　the　door　of

a　chapel。　　Whether　the　old　lady；　under　a　delusion　reminding　one　of

Mrs。　Southcott；　has　an　idea　of　entrusting　an　egg　to　that　particular

denomination；　or　merely　understands　that　she　has　no　business　in　the

building　and　is　consequently　frantic　to　enter　it；　I　cannot

determine；　but　she　is　constantly　endeavouring　to　undermine　the

principal　door：　　while　her　partner；　who　is　infirm　upon　his　legs；

walks　up　and　down；　encouraging　her　and　defying　the　Universe。　　But；

the　family　I　have　been　best　acquainted　with；　since　the　removal　from

this　trying　sphere　of　a　Chinese　circle　at　Brentford；　reside　in　the

densest　part　of　Bethnal…green。　　Their　abstraction　from　the　objects

among　which　they　live；　or　rather　their　conviction　that　those

objects　have　all　come　into　existence　in　express　subservience　to

fowls；　has　so　enchanted　me；　that　I　have　made　them　the　subject　of

many　journeys　at　divers　hours。　　After　careful　observation　of　the

two　lords　and　the　ten　ladies　of　whom　this　family　consists；　I　have

come　to　the　conclusion　that　their　opinions　are　represented　by　the

leading　lord　and　leading　lady：　　the　latter；　as　I　judge；　an　aged

personage；　afflicted　with　a　paucity　of　feather　and　visibility　of

quill；　that　gives　her　the　appearance　of　a　bundle　of　office　pens。

When　a　railway　goods　van　that　would　crush　an　elephant　comes　round

the　corner；　tearing　over　these　fowls；　they　emerge　unharmed　from

under　the　horses；　perfectly　satisfied　that　the　whole　rush　was　a

passing　property　in　the　air；　which　may　have　left　something　to　eat

behind　it。　　They　look　upon　old　shoes；　wrecks　of　kettles　and

saucepans；　and　fragments　of　bonnets；　as　a　kind　of　meteoric

discharge；　for　fowls　to　peck　at。　　Peg…tops　and　hoops　they　account；

I　think；　as　a　sort　of　hail；　shuttlecocks；　as　rain；　or　dew。

Gaslight　comes　quite　as　natural　to　them　as　any　other　light；　and　I

have　more　than　a　suspicion　that；　in　the　minds　of　the　two　lords；　the

early　public…house　at　the　corner　has　superseded　the　sun。　　I　have

established　it　as　a　certain　fact；　that　they　always　begin　to　crow

when　the　public…house　shutters　begin　to　be　taken　down；　and　that

they　salute　the　potboy；　the　instant　he　appears　to　perform　that

duty；　as　if　he　were　Phoebus　in　person。







CHAPTER　XI　…　TRAMPS







The　chance　use　of　the　word　'Tramp'　in　my　last　paper；　brought　that

numerous　fraternity　so　vividly　before　my　mind's　eye；　that　I　had　no

sooner　laid　down　my　pen　than　a　compulsion　was　upon　me　to　take　it　up

again；　and　make　notes　of　the　Tramps　whom　I　perceived　on　all　the

summer　roads　in　all　directions。



Whenever　a　tramp　sits　down　to　rest　by　the　wayside；　he　sits　with　his

legs　in　a　dry　ditch；　and　whenever　he　goes　to　sleep　（which　is　very

often　indeed）；　he　goes　to　sleep　on　his　back。　　Yonder；　by　the　high

road；　glaring　white　in　the　bright　sunshine；　lies；　on　the　dusty　bit

of　turf　under　the　bramble…bush　that　fences　the　coppice　from　the

highway；　the　tramp　of　the　order　savage；　fast　asleep。　　He　lies　on

the　broad　of　his　back；　with　his　face　turned　up　to　the　sky；　and　one

of　his　ragged　arms　loosely　thrown　across　his　face。　　His　bundle

（what　can　be　the　contents　of　that　mysterious　bundle；　to　make　it

worth　his　while　to　carry　it　about？）　is　thrown　down　beside　him；　and

the　waking　woman　with　him　sits　with　her　legs　in　the　ditch；　and　her

back　to　the　road。　　She　wears　her　bonnet　rakishly　perched　on　the

front　of　her　head；　to　shade　her　face　from　the　sun　in　walking；　and

she　ties　her　skirts　round　her　in　conventionally　tight　tramp…fashion

with　a　sort　of　apron。　　You　can　seldom　catch　sight　of　her；　resting

thus；　without　seeing　her　in　a　despondently　defiant　manner　doing

something　to　her　hair　or　her　bonnet；　and　glancing　at　you　between

her　fingers。　　She　does　not　often　go　to　sleep　herself　in　the

daytime；　but　will　sit　for　any　length　of　time　beside　the　man。　　And

his　slumberous　propensities　would　not　seem　to　be　referable　to　the

fatigue　of　carrying　the　bundle；　for　she　carries　it　much　oftener　and

further　than　he。　　When　they　are　afoot；　you　will　mostly　find　him

slouching　on　ahead；　in　a　gruff　temper；　while　she　lags　heavily

behind　with　the　burden。　　He　is　given　to　personally　correcting　her；

too　…　which　phase　of　his　character　develops　itself　oftenest；　on

benches　outside　alehouse　doors　…　and　she　appears　to　become　strongly

attached　to　him　for　these　reasons；　it　may　usually　be　noticed　that

when　the　poor　creature　has　a　bruised　face；　she　is　the　most

affectionate。　　He　has　no　occupation　whatever；　this　order　of　tramp；

and　has　no　object　whatever　in　going　anywhere。　　He　will　sometimes

call　himself　a　brickmaker；　or　a　sawyer；　but　only　when　he　takes　an

imaginary　flight。　　He　generally　represents　himself；　in　a　vague　way；

as　looking　out　for　a　job　of　work；　but　he　never　did　work；　he　never

does；　and　he　never　will。　　It　is　a　favourite　fiction　with　him；

however　（as　if　he　were　the　most　industrious　character　on　earth）；

that　YOU　never　work；　and　as　he　goes　past　your　garden　and　sees　you

looking　at　your　flowers；　you　will　overhear　him　growl　with　a　strong

sense　of　contrast；　'YOU　are　a　lucky　hidle　devil；　YOU　are！'



The　slinking　tramp　is　of　the　same　hopeless　order；　and　has　the　same

injured　conviction　on　him　that　you　were　born　to　whatever　you

possess；　and　never　did　anything　to　get　it：　　but　he　is　of　a　less

audacious　disposition。　　He　will　stop　before　your　gate；　and　say　to

his　female　companion　with　an　air　of　constitutional　humility　and

propitiation　…　to　edify　any　one　who　may　be　within　hearing　behind　a

blind　or　a　bush　…　'This　is　a　sweet　spot；　ain't　it？　　A　lovelly　spot！

And　I　wonder　if　they'd　give　two　poor　footsore　travellers　like　me

and　you；　a　drop　of　fresh　water　out　of　such　a　pretty　gen…teel　crib？

We'd　take　it　wery　koind　on　'em；　wouldn't　us？　　Wery　koind；　upon　my

word；　us　would？'　　He　has　a　quick　sense　of　a　dog　in　the　vicinity；

and　will　extend　his　modestly…injured　propitiation　to　the　dog

chained　up　in　your　yard；　remarking；　as　he　slinks　at　the　yard　gate；

'Ah！　　You　are　a　foine　breed　o'　dog；　too；　and　YOU　ain't　kep　for

nothink！　　I'd　take　it　wery　koind　o'　your　master　if　he'd　elp　a

traveller　and　his　woife　as　envies　no　gentlefolk　their　good　fortun；

wi'　a　bit　o'　your　broken　wittles。　　He'd　never　know　the　want　of　it；

nor　more　would　you。　　Don't　bark　like　that；　at　poor　persons　as　never

done　you　no　arm；　the　poor　is　down…trodden　and　broke　enough　without

that；　O　DON'T！'　　He　generally　heaves　a　prodigious　sigh　in　moving

away；　and　always　looks　up　the　lane　and　down　the　lane；　and　up　the

road　and　down　the　road；　before　going　on。



Both　of　these　orders　of　tramp　are　of　a　very　robust　habit；　let　the

hard…working　labourer　at　whose　cottage…door　they　prowl　and　beg；

have　the　ague　never　so　badly；　these　tramps　are　sure　to　be　in　good

health。



There　is　another　kind　of　tramp；　whom　you　encounter　this　bright

summer　day　…　say；　on　a　road　with　the　sea…breeze　making　its　dust

lively；　and　sails　of　ships　in　the　blue　distance　beyond　the　slope　of

Down。　　As　you　walk　enjoyingly　on；　you　descry　in　the　perspective　at

the　bottom　of　a　steep　hill　up　which　your　way　lies；　a　figure　that

appears　to　be　sitting　airily　on　a　gate；　whistling　in　a　cheerful　and

disengaged　manner。　　As　you　approach　nearer　to　it；　you　observe　the

figure　to　slide　down　from　the　gate；　to　desist　from　whistling；　to

uncock　its　hat；　to　become　tender　of　foot；　to　depress　its　head　and

elevate　its　shoulders；　and　to　present　all　the　characteristics　of

profound　despondency。　　Arriving　at　the　bottom　of　the　hill　and

coming　close　to　the　figure；　you　observe　it　to　be　the