the uncommercial traveller-第29章

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confused　him；　and　he　crept　aside　and　lay　down　in　a　doorway。　　He　had

scarcely　got　a　wink　of　sleep；　when　up　comes　Punch　with　Toby。　　He

was　darting　to　Toby　for　consolation　and　advice；　when　he　saw　the

frill；　and　stopped；　in　the　middle　of　the　street；　appalled。　　The

show　was　pitched；　Toby　retired　behind　the　drapery；　the　audience

formed；　the　drum　and　pipes　struck　up。　　My　country　dog　remained

immovable；　intently　staring　at　these　strange　appearances；　until

Toby　opened　the　drama　by　appearing　on　his　ledge；　and　to　him　entered

Punch；　who　put　a　tobacco…pipe　into　Toby's　mouth。　　At　this

spectacle；　the　country　dog　threw　up　his　head；　gave　one　terrible

howl；　and　fled　due　west。



We　talk　of　men　keeping　dogs；　but　we　might　often　talk　more

expressively　of　dogs　keeping　men。　　I　know　a　bull…dog　in　a　shy

corner　of　Hammersmith　who　keeps　a　man。　　He　keeps　him　up　a　yard；　and

makes　him　go　to　public…houses　and　lay　wagers　on　him；　and　obliges

him　to　lean　against　posts　and　look　at　him；　and　forces　him　to

neglect　work　for　him；　and　keeps　him　under　rigid　coercion。　　I　once

knew　a　fancy　terrier　who　kept　a　gentleman　…　a　gentleman　who　had

been　brought　up　at　Oxford；　too。　　The　dog　kept　the　gentleman

entirely　for　his　glorification；　and　the　gentleman　never　talked

about　anything　but　the　terrier。　　This；　however；　was　not　in　a　shy

neighbourhood；　and　is　a　digression　consequently。



There　are　a　great　many　dogs　in　shy　neighbourhoods；　who　keep　boys。

I　have　my　eye　on　a　mongrel　in　Somerstown　who　keeps　three　boys。　　He

feigns　that　he　can　bring　down　sparrows；　and　unburrow　rats　（he　can

do　neither）；　and　he　takes　the　boys　out　on　sporting　pretences　into

all　sorts　of　suburban　fields。　　He　has　likewise　made　them　believe

that　he　possesses　some　mysterious　knowledge　of　the　art　of　fishing；

and　they　consider　themselves　incompletely　equipped　for　the

Hampstead　ponds；　with　a　pickle…jar　and　wide…mouthed　bottle；　unless

he　is　with　them　and　barking　tremendously。　　There　is　a　dog　residing

in　the　Borough　of　Southwark　who　keeps　a　blind　man。　　He　may　be　seen；

most　days；　in　Oxford…street；　haling　the　blind　man　away　on

expeditions　wholly　uncontemplated　by；　and　unintelligible　to；　the

man：　　wholly　of　the　dog's　conception　and　execution。　　Contrariwise；

when　the　man　has　projects；　the　dog　will　sit　down　in　a　crowded

thoroughfare　and　meditate。　　I　saw　him　yesterday；　wearing　the　money…

tray　like　an　easy　collar；　instead　of　offering　it　to　the　public；

taking　the　man　against　his　will；　on　the　invitation　of　a

disreputable　cur；　apparently　to　visit　a　dog　at　Harrow　…　he　was　so

intent　on　that　direction。　　The　north　wall　of　Burlington　House

Gardens；　between　the　Arcade　and　the　Albany；　offers　a　shy　spot　for

appointments　among　blind　men　at　about　two　or　three　o'clock　in　the

afternoon。　　They　sit　（very　uncomfortably）　on　a　sloping　stone　there；

and　compare　notes。　　Their　dogs　may　always　be　observed　at　the　same

time；　openly　disparaging　the　men　they　keep；　to　one　another；　and

settling　where　they　shall　respectively　take　their　men　when　they

begin　to　move　again。　　At　a　small　butcher's；　in　a　shy　neighbourhood

（there　is　no　reason　for　suppressing　the　name；　it　is　by　Notting…

hill；　and　gives　upon　the　district　called　the　Potteries）；　I　know　a

shaggy　black　and　white　dog　who　keeps　a　drover。　　He　is　a　dog　of　an

easy　disposition；　and　too　frequently　allows　this　drover　to　get

drunk。　　On　these　occasions；　it　is　the　dog's　custom　to　sit　outside

the　public…house；　keeping　his　eye　on　a　few　sheep；　and　thinking。　　I

have　seen　him　with　six　sheep；　plainly　casting　up　in　his　mind　how

many　he　began　with　when　he　left　the　market；　and　at　what　places　he

has　left　the　rest。　　I　have　seen　him　perplexed　by　not　being　able　to

account　to　himself　for　certain　particular　sheep。　　A　light　has

gradually　broken　on　him；　he　has　remembered　at　what　butcher's　he

left　them；　and　in　a　burst　of　grave　satisfaction　has　caught　a　fly

off　his　nose；　and　shown　himself　much　relieved。　　If　I　could　at　any

time　have　doubted　the　fact　that　it　was　he　who　kept　the　drover；　and

not　the　drover　who　kept　him；　it　would　have　been　abundantly　proved

by　his　way　of　taking　undivided　charge　of　the　six　sheep；　when　the

drover　came　out　besmeared　with　red　ochre　and　beer；　and　gave　him

wrong　directions；　which　he　calmly　disregarded。　　He　has　taken　the

sheep　entirely　into　his　own　hands；　has　merely　remarked　with

respectful　firmness；　'That　instruction　would　place　them　under　an

omnibus；　you　had　better　confine　your　attention　to　yourself　…　you

will　want　it　all；'　and　has　driven　his　charge　away；　with　an

intelligence　of　ears　and　tail；　and　a　knowledge　of　business；　that

has　left　his　lout　of　a　man　very；　very　far　behind。



As　the　dogs　of　shy　neighbourhoods　usually　betray　a　slinking

consciousness　of　being　in　poor　circumstances　…　for　the　most　part

manifested　in　an　aspect　of　anxiety；　an　awkwardness　in　their　play；

and　a　misgiving　that　somebody　is　going　to　harness　them　to

something；　to　pick　up　a　living　…　so　the　cats　of　shy　neighbourhoods

exhibit　a　strong　tendency　to　relapse　into　barbarism。　　Not　only　are

they　made　selfishly　ferocious　by　ruminating　on　the　surplus

population　around　them；　and　on　the　densely　crowded　state　of　all　the

avenues　to　cat's　meat；　not　only　is　there　a　moral　and　politico…

economical　haggardness　in　them；　traceable　to　these　reflections；　but

they　evince　a　physical　deterioration。　　Their　linen　is　not　clean；

and　is　wretchedly　got　up；　their　black　turns　rusty；　like　old

mourning；　they　wear　very　indifferent　fur；　and　take　to　the　shabbiest

cotton　velvet；　instead　of　silk　velvet。　　I　am　on　terms　of

recognition　with　several　small　streets　of　cats；　about　the　Obelisk

in　Saint　George's　Fields；　and　also　in　the　vicinity　of　Clerkenwell…

green；　and　also　in　the　back　settlements　of　Drury…lane。　　In

appearance；　they　are　very　like　the　women　among　whom　they　live。

They　seem　to　turn　out　of　their　unwholesome　beds　into　the　street；

without　any　preparation。　　They　leave　their　young　families　to

stagger　about　the　gutters；　unassisted；　while　they　frouzily　quarrel

and　swear　and　scratch　and　spit；　at　street　corners。　　In　particular；

I　remark　that　when　they　are　about　to　increase　their　families　（an

event　of　frequent　recurrence）　the　resemblance　is　strongly　expressed

in　a　certain　dusty　dowdiness；　down…at…heel　self…neglect；　and

general　giving　up　of　things。　　I　cannot　honestly　report　that　I　have

ever　seen　a　feline　matron　of　this　class　washing　her　face　when　in　an

interesting　condition。



Not　to　prolong　these　notes　of　uncommercial　travel　among　the　lower

animals　of　shy　neighbourhoods；　by　dwelling　at　length　upon　the

exasperated　moodiness　of　the　tom…cats；　and　their　resemblance　in

many　respects　to　a　man　and　a　brother；　I　will　come　to　a　close　with　a

word　on　the　fowls　of　the　same　localities。



That　anything　born　of　an　egg　and　invested　with　wings；　should　have

got　to　the　pass　that　it　hops　contentedly　down　a　ladder　into　a

cellar；　and　calls　THAT　going　home；　is　a　circumstance　so　amazing　as

to　leave　one　nothing　more　in　this　connexion　to　wonder　at。

Otherwise　I　might　wonder　at　the　completeness　with　which　these　fowls

have　become　separated　from　all　the　birds　of　the　air　…　have　taken　to

grovelling　in　bricks　and　mortar　and　mud　…　have　forgotten　all　about

live　trees；　and　make　roosting…places　of　shop…boards；　barrows；

oyster…tubs；　bulk…heads；　and　door…scrapers。　　I　wonder　at　nothing

concerning　them；　and　take　them　as　they　are。　　I　accept　as　products

of　Nature　and　things　of　course；　a　reduced　Bantam　family　of　my

acquaintance　in　the　Hackney…road；　who　are　incessantly　at　the

pawnbroker's。　　I　cannot　say　that　they　enjoy　themselves；　for　they

are　of　a　melancholy　temperament；　but　what　enjoyment　they　are

capable　of；　they　derive　from　crowding　together　in　the　pawnbroker's

side…entry。　　Here；　they　are　always　to　be　found　in　a　feeble　flutter；

as　if　they　were　newly　come　down　in　the　world；　and　were　afraid　of

being　identified。　　I　know　a　low　fellow；　originally　of　a　good　family

from　Dorking；　who　takes　his　whole　establishment　of　wives；　in　single

file；　in　at　the　door　of　the　jug