the dark flower-第8章
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brooding over his injuriesintending not to sleep at all； so as to
be ready to be off at three o'clock。 At NINE o'clock he woke。 His
wrath was gone； he only felt restless and ashamed。 If； instead of
flying out； he had made the best of it； he could have gone with
them as far as the hut； could have stayed the night there。 And now
he cursed himself for being such a fool and idiot。 Some little of
that idiocy he could； perhaps； retrieve。 If he started for the hut
at once； he might still be in time to meet them coming down； and
accompany them home。 He swallowed his coffee； and set off。 He
knew the way at first； then in woods lost it； recovered the right
track again at last； but did not reach the hut till nearly two
o'clock。 Yes； the party had made the ascent that morningthey had
been seen； been heard jodelling on the top。 Gewiss！ Gewiss！ But
they would not come down the same way。 Oh； no！ They would be
going home down to the West and over the other pass。 They would be
back in house before the young Herr himself。
He heard this； oddly； almost with relief。 Was it the long walk
alone； or being up there so high？ Or simply that he was very
hungry？ Or just these nice friendly folk in the hut； and their
young daughter with her fresh face； queer little black cloth sailor
hat with long ribbons； velvet bodice； and perfect simple manners；
or the sight of the little silvery…dun cows； thrusting their broad
black noses against her hand？ What was it that had taken away from
him all his restless feeling； made him happy and content？ 。 。 。 He
did not know that the newest thing always fascinates the puppy in
its gambols！ 。 。 。 He sat a long while after lunch； trying to draw
the little cows； watching the sun on the cheek of that pretty
maiden； trying to talk to her in German。 And when at last he said：
〃Adieu！〃 and she murmured 〃Kuss die Hand。 Adieu！〃 there was quite
a little pang in his heart。 。 。 。 Wonderful and queer is the heart
of a man！ 。 。 。 For all that； as he neared home he hastened； till
he was actually running。 Why had he stayed so long up there？ She
would be backshe would expect to see him； and that young beast of
a violinist would be with her； perhaps； instead！ He reached the
hotel just in time to rush up and dress； and rush down to dinner。
Ah！ They were tired； no doubtwere resting in their rooms。 He
sat through dinner as best he could； got away before dessert； and
flew upstairs。 For a minute he stood there doubtful； on which door
should he knock？ Then timidly he tapped on hers。 No answer！ He
knocked loud on his tutor's door。 No answer！ They were not back；
then。 Not back？ What could that mean？ Or could it be that they
were both asleep？ Once more he knocked on her door； then
desperately turned the handle； and took a flying glance。 Empty；
tidy； untouched！ Not back！ He turned and ran downstairs again。
All the guests were streaming out from dinner； and he became
entangled with a group of 'English Grundys' discussing a climbing
accident which had occurred in Switzerland。 He listened； feeling
suddenly quite sick。 One of them； the short grey…bearded Grundy
with the rather whispering voice； said to him： 〃All alone again to…
night？ The Stormers not back？〃 Lennan did his best to answer； but
something had closed his throat； he could only shake his head。
〃They had a guide； I think？〃 said the 'English Grundy。'
This time Lennan managed to get out： 〃Yes； sir。〃
〃Stormer； I fancy； is quite an expert！〃 and turning to the lady
whom the young 'Grundys' addressed as 'Madre' he added：
〃To me the great charm of mountain…climbing was always the freedom
from peoplethe remoteness。〃
The mother of the young 'Grundys；' looking at Lennan with her half…
closed eyes； answered：
〃That； to me； would be the disadvantage； I always like to be mixing
with my own kind。〃
The grey…bearded 'Grundy' murmured in a muffled voice：
〃Dangerous thing； that； to sayin an hotel！〃
And they went on talking； but of what Lennan no longer knew； lost
in this sudden feeling of sick fear。 In the presence of these
'English Grundys；' so superior to all vulgar sensations； he could
not give vent to his alarm； already they viewed him as unsound for
having fainted。 Then he grasped that there had begun all round him
a sort of luxurious speculation on what might have happened to the
Stormers。 The descent was very nasty； there was a particularly bad
traverse。 The 'Grundy；' whose collar was not now crumpled； said he
did not believe in women climbing。 It was one of the signs of the
times that he most deplored。 The mother of the young 'Grundys'
countered him at once： In practice she agreed that they were out of
place； but theoretically she could not see why they should not
climb。 An American standing near threw all into confusion by
saying he guessed that it might be liable to develop their
understandings。 Lennan made for the front door。 The moon had just
come up over in the South； and exactly under it he could see their
mountain。 What visions he had then！ He saw her lying dead； saw
himself climbing down in the moonlight and raising her still…
living； but half…frozen； form from some perilous ledge。 Even that
was almost better than this actuality of not knowing where she was；
or what had happened。 People passed out into the moonlight；
looking curiously at his set face staring so fixedly。 One or two
asked him if he were anxious； and he answered： 〃Oh no； thanks！〃
Soon there would have to be a search party。 How soon？ He would；
he must be； of it！ They should not stop him this time。 And
suddenly he thought： Ah； it is all because I stayed up there this
afternoon talking to that girl； all because I forgot HER！
And then he heard a stir behind him。 There they were； coming down
the passage from a side doorshe in front with her alpenstock and
rucksacksmiling。 Instinctively he recoiled behind some plants。
They passed。 Her sunburned face； with its high cheek…bones and its
deep…set eyes； looked so happy； smiling； tired； triumphant。
Somehow he could not bear it； and when they were gone by he stole
out into the wood and threw himself down in shadow； burying his
face； and choking back a horrible dry sobbing that would keep
rising in his throat。
IX
Next day he was happy； for all the afternoon he lay out in the
shade of that same wood at her feet； gazing up through larch…
boughs。 It was so wonderful； with nobody but Nature near。 Nature
so alive； and busy； and so big！
Coming down from the hut the day before； he had seen a peak that
looked exactly like the figure of a woman with a garment over her
head； the biggest statue in the world； from further down it had
become the figure of a bearded man； with his arm bent over his
eyes。 Had she seen it？ Had she noticed how all the mountains in
moonlight or very early morning took the shape of beasts？ What he
wanted most in life was to be able to make images of beasts and
creatures of all sorts； that were likethat hadthat gave out the
spirit ofNature； so that by just looking at them one could have
all those jolly feelings one had when one was watching trees； and
beasts； and rocks； and even some sorts of menbut not 'English
Grundys。'
So he was quite determined to study Art？
Oh yes； of course！
He would want to leaveOxford； then！
No； oh no！ Only some day he would have to。
She answered： 〃Some never get away！〃
And he said quickly： 〃Of course； I shall never want to leave Oxford
while you are there。〃
He heard her draw her breath in sharply。
〃Oh yes； you will！ Now help me up！〃 And she led the way back to
the hotel。
He stayed out on the terrace when she had gone in； restless and
unhappy the moment he was away from her。 A voice close by said：
〃Well； friend Lennanbrown study； or blue devils； which？〃
There； in one of those high wicker chairs that insulate their
occupants from the world； he saw his tutor leaning back； head a
little to one side； and tips of fingers pressed together。 He
looked like an idol sitting there inert； and yetyesterday he had
gone up that mountain！
〃Cheer up！ You will break your neck yet！ When I was your age； I
remember feeling
