the dark flower-第28章
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grudging every inch of pavement； and all the time furtively
searching that window with the light behind the curtains。 Nothing！
Once more he was close to the railings of the church； and once more
could not bring himself to go away。 In the little； close； deserted
street； not a soul was moving； not even a cat or dog； nothing alive
but many discreet； lighted windows。 Like veiled faces； showing no
emotion； they seemed to watch his indecision。 And he thought： 〃Ah；
well！ I dare say there are lots like me。 Lots as near； and yet as
far away！ Lots who have to suffer！〃 But what would he not have
given for the throwing open of those curtains。 Then； suddenly
scared by an approaching figure； he turned and walked away。
X
At three o'clock next day he called。
In the middle of her white drawing…room； whose latticed window ran
the whole length of one wall； stood a little table on which was a
silver jar full of early larkspurs； evidently from her garden by
the river。 And Lennan waited； his eyes fixed on those blossoms so
like to little blue butterflies and strange…hued crickets； tethered
to the pale green stems。 In this room she passed her days； guarded
from him。 Once a week； at most； he would be able to come there
once a week for an hour or two of the hundred and sixty…eight hours
that he longed to be with her。
And suddenly he was conscious of her。 She had come in without
sound； and was standing by the piano； so pale； in her cream…white
dress； that her eyes looked jet black。 He hardly knew that face；
like a flower closed against cold。
What had he done？ What had happened in these five days to make her
like this to him？ He took her hands and tried to kiss them； but
she said quickly：
〃He's in！〃
At that he stood silent； looking into that face； frozen to a
dreadful composure； on the breaking up of which his very life
seemed to depend。 At last he said：
〃What is it？ Am I nothing to you； after all？〃
But as soon as he had spoken he saw that he need not have asked；
and flung his arms round her。 She clung to him with desperation；
then freed herself； and said：
〃No； no； let's sit down quietly！〃
He obeyed； half…divining； half…refusing to admit all that lay
behind that strange coldness； and this desperate embrace； all the
self…pity； and self…loathing； shame； rage； and longing of a married
woman for the first time face to face with her lover in her
husband's house。
She seemed now to be trying to make him forget her strange
behaviour； to be what she had been during that fortnight in the
sunshine。 But； suddenly； just moving her lips； she said：
〃Quick！ When can we see each other？ I will come to you to tea
to…morrow；〃 and； following her eyes； he saw the door opening； and
Cramier coming in。 Unsmiling； very big in the low room； he crossed
over to them； and offered his hand to Lennan； then drawing a low
chair forward between their two chairs； sat down。
〃So you're back；〃 he said。 〃Have a good time？〃
〃Thanks； yes； very。〃
〃Luck for Olive you were there； those places are dull holes。〃
〃It was luck for me。〃
〃No doubt。〃 And with those words he turned to his wife。 His
elbows rested along the arms of his chair； so that his clenched
palms were upwards； it was as if he knew that he was holding those
two； gripped one in each hand。
〃I wonder；〃 he said slowly； 〃that fellows like you； with nothing in
the world to tie them； ever sit down in a place like London。 I
should have thought Rome or Paris were your happy hunting…grounds。〃
In his voice； in those eyes of his； a little bloodshot； with their
look of power； in his whole attitude； there was a sort of muffled
menace； and contempt； as though he were thinking： 〃Step into my
path； and I will crush you！〃
And Lennan thought：
〃How long must I sit here？〃 Then； past that figure planted solidly
between them； he caught a look from her； swift； sure； marvellously
timedagain and againas if she were being urged by the very
presence of this danger。 One of those glances would surelysurely
be seen by Cramier。 Is there need for fear that a swallow should
dash itself against the wall over which it skims？ But he got up；
unable to bear it longer。
〃Going？〃 That one suave word had an inimitable insolence。
He could hardly see his hand touching Cramier's heavy fist。 Then
he realized that she was standing so that their faces when they
must say good…bye could not be seen。 Her eyes were smiling； yet
imploring； her lips shaped the word： 〃To…morrow！〃 And squeezing
her hand desperately； he got away。
He had never dreamed that to see her in the presence of the man who
owned her would be so terrible。 For a moment he thought that he
must give her up； give up a love that would drive him mad。
He climbed on to an omnibus travelling West。 Another twenty…four
hours of starvation had begun。 It did not matter at all what he
did with them。 They were simply so much aching that had to be got
through somehowso much aching； and what relief at the end？ An
hour or two with her； desperately holding himself in。
Like most artists； and few Englishmen； he lived on feelings rather
than on facts； so； found no refuge in decisive resolutions。 But he
made manythe resolution to give her up； to be true to the ideal
of service for no reward； to beseech her to leave Cramier and come
to himand he made each many times。
At Hyde Park Corner he got down； and went into the Park； thinking
that to walk would help him。
A great number of people were sitting there； taking mysterious
anodyne； doing the right thing； to avoid them； he kept along the
rails； and ran almost into the arms of Colonel and Mrs。 Ercott； who
were coming from the direction of Knightsbridge； slightly flushed；
having lunched and talked of 'Monte' at the house of a certain
General。
They greeted him with the surprise of those who had said to each
other many times： 〃That young man will come rushing back！〃 It was
very nicethey saidto run across him。 When did he arrive？ They
had thought he was going on to Italyhe was looking rather tired。
They did not ask if he had seen herbeing too kind； and perhaps
afraid that he would say 'Yes；' which would be embarrassing； or
that he would say 'No；' which would be still more embarrassing when
they found that he ought to have said 'Yes。' Would he not come and
sit with them a littlethey were going presently to see how Olive
was？ Lennan perceived that they were warning him。 And； forcing
himself to look at them very straight； he said： 〃I have just been
there。〃
Mrs。 Ercott phrased her impressions that same evening： 〃He looks
quite hunted； poor young man！ I'm afraid there's going to be
fearful trouble there。 Did you notice how quickly he ran away from
us？ He's thin； too； if it wasn't for his tan； he'd look really
ill。 The boy's eyes are so pathetic； and he used to have such a
nice smile in them。〃
The Colonel； who was fastening her hooks； paused in an operation
that required concentration。
〃It's a thousand pities；〃 he muttered； 〃that he hasn't any work to
do。 That puddling about with clay or whatever he does is no good
at all。〃 And slowly fastening one hook； he unhooked several
others。
Mrs。 Ercott went on：
〃And I saw Olive； when she thought I wasn't looking； it was just as
if she'd taken off a mask。 But Robert Cramier will never put up
with it。 He's in love with her still； I watched him。 It's tragic；
John。〃
The Colonel let his hands fall from the hooks。
〃If I thought that；〃 he said； 〃I'd do something。〃
〃If you could； it would not be tragic。〃
The Colonel stared。 There was always SOMETHING to be done。
〃You read too many novels；〃 he said； but without spirit。
Mrs。 Ercott smiled； and made no answer to an aspersion she had
heard before。
XI
When Lennan reached his rooms again after that encounter with the
Ercotts； he found in his letterbox a visiting card： 〃Mrs。 Doone〃
〃Miss Sylvia Doone；〃 and on it pencilled the words： 〃Do come and
see us before we go down to HayleSylvia。〃 He stared blankly at
the round handwriting he knew so well。
Sylvia！ Nothing perhaps could have made so plain to him how in
this tornado of his passion the world wa
