she-第58章

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laid　against　the　measure　of　the　great　world；　and；　mark　
this！　the　immortality　to　which　I　look；　and　which　my　
faith　doth　promise　to　me；　shall　be　free　from　the　bonds　
that　here　must　tie　my　spirit　down。　For；　while　the　
flesh　endures；　sorrow　and　evil　and　the　scorpion　whips　
of　sin　must　endure　also；　but　when　the　flesh　hath　
fallen　from　us；　then　shall　the　spirit　shine　forth　clad　
in　the　brightness　of　eternal　good；　and　for　its　common　
air　shall　breathe　so　rare　an　ether　of　most　noble　
thoughts　that　the　highest　aspiration　of　our　manhood；　
or　the　purest　incense　of　a　maiden's　prayer；　would　
prove　too　earthly　gross　to　float　therein。〃

〃Thou　lookest　high；〃　answered　Ayesha；　with　a　little　
laugh；　〃and　speakest　clearly　as　a　trumpet　and　with　no　
uncertain　sound。　And　yet　methinks　that　but　now　didst　
thou　talk　of　that　Unknown　from　which　the　winding…sheet　
doth　curtain　us。　But　perchance　thou　seest　with　the　
eye；　of　Faith；　gazing　on　this　brightness　that　is　to　
be；　through　the　painted　glass　of　thy　imagination。　
Strange　are　the　pictures　of　the　future　that　mankind　
can　thus　draw　with　this　brush　of　faith　and　this　many…
colored　pigment　of　imagination！　Strange；　too；　that　no　
one　of　them　doth　agree　with　another！　I　could　tell　
theebut　there；　what　is　the　use？　why　rob　a　fool　of　
his　bauble？　Let　it　pass；　and　I　pray；　O　Holly；　that　
when　thou　dost　feel　old　age　creeping　slowly　towards　
thyself；　and　the　confusion　of　senility　making　havoc　in　
thy　brain；　thou　mayest　not　bitterly　regret　that　thou　
didst　cast　away　the　imperial　boon　I　would　have　given　
to　thee。　But　so　it　hath　ever　been；　man　can　never　be　
content　with　that　which　his　hand　can　pluck。　If　a　lamp　
be　in　his　reach　to　light　him　through　the　darkness；　he　
must　needs　cast　it　down　because　it　is　no　star。　
Happiness　danceth　ever　a　pace　before　him；　like　the　
marsh…fires　in　the　swamps；　and　he　must　catch　the　fire；　
and　he　must　hold　the　star！　Beauty　is　naught　to　him；　
because　there　are　lips　more　honey…sweet；　and　wealth　is　
naught；　because　others　can　weigh　him　down　with　heavier　
shekels；　and　fame　is　naught；　because　there　have　been　
greater　men　than　he。　Thyself　thou　saidst　it；　and　I　
turn　thy　words　against　thee。　Well；　thou　dreamest　that　
thou　shalt　pluck　the　star。　I　believe　it　not；　and　I　
think　thee　a　fool；　my　Holly；　to　throw　away　the　lamp。〃

I　made　no　answer；　for　I　could　notespecially　before　
Leotell　her　that　since　I　had　seen　her　face　I　knew　
that　it　would　always　be　before　my　eyes；　and　that　I　had　
no　wish　to　prolong　an　existence　which　must　always　be　
haunted　and　tortured　by　her　memory；　and　by　the　last　
bitterness　of　unsatisfied　love。　But　so　it　was；　and　so；　
alas；　is　it　to　this　hour！

〃And　now；〃　went　on　_i_　She　_i_　；　changing　her　tone　and　
the　subject　together；　〃tell　me；　my　Kallikrates；　for　as　
yet　I　know　it　not；　how　came　ye　to　seek　me　here？　
Yesternight　thou　didst　say　that　Kallikrateshim　whom　
thou　sawestwas　thine　ancestor。　How　was　it？　Tell　me
thou　dost　not　speak　overmuch！〃

Thus　adjured；　Leo　told　her　the　wonderful　story　of　the　
casket　and　of　the　potsherd　that；　written　on　by　his　
ancestress；　the　Egyptian　Amenartas；　had　been　the　means　
of　guiding　us　to　her。　Ayesha　listened　intently；　and；　
when　he　had　finished；　spoke　to　me。

〃Did　I　not　tell　thee　one　day；　when　we　did　talk　of　good　
and　evil；　O　Hollyit　was　when　my　beloved　lay　so　ill
that　out　of　good　came　evil；　and　out　of　evil　goodthat　
they　who　sowed　knew　not　what　the　crop　should　be；　nor　
he　who　struck　where　the　blow　should　fall？　See；　now：　
this　Egyptian　Amenartas；　this　royal　child　of　the　Nile　
who　hated　me；　and　whom　even　now　I　hate；　for　in　a　way　
she　did　prevail　against　mesee；　now；　she　herself　hath　
been　the　very　means　to　bring　her　lover　to　mine　arms！　
For　her　sake　I　slew　him；　and　now；　behold；　through　her　
he　hath　come　back　to　me！　She　would　have　done　me　evil；　
and　sowed　her　seeds　that　I　might　reap　tares；　and　
behold　she　hath　given　me　more　than　all　the　world　can　
give；　and　there　is　a　strange　square　for　thee　to　fit　
into　thy　circle　of　good　and　evil；　O　Holly！

〃And　so；〃　she　went　on；　after　a　pause〃and　so　she　bade　
her　son　destroy　me　if　he　might；　because　I　slew　his　
father。　And　thou；　my　Kallikrates；　art　the　father；　and　
in　a　sense　thou　art　likewise　the　son；　and　wouldst　thou　
avenge　thy　wrong；　and　the　wrong　of　that　far…off　mother　
of　thine　upon　me；　O　Kallikrates？　See；〃　and　she　slid　to　
her　knees；　and　drew　the　white　corsage　still　farther　
down　her　ivory　bosom〃see；　here　beats　my　heart；　and　
there　by　thy　side　is　a　knife；　heavy　and　long　and　
sharp；　the　very　knife　to　slay　an　erring　woman　with。　
Take　it　now；　and　be　avenged。　Strike；　and　strike　home！…
…so　shalt　thou　be　satisfied；　Kallikrates；　and　go　
through　life　a　happy　man；　because　thou　hast　paid　back　
the　wrong；　and　obeyed　the　mandate　of　the　past。〃

He　looked　at　her；　and　then　stretched　out　his　hand　and　
lifted　her　to　her　feet。

〃Rise；　Ayesha；〃　he　said；　sadly；　〃well　thou　knowest　
that　I　cannot　strike　thee；　no；　not　even　for　the　sake　
of　her　whom　thou　slewest　but　last　night。　I　am　in　thy　
power；　and　a　very　slave　to　thee。　How　can　I　kill　thee？…
…sooner　should　I　slay　myself。〃

〃Almost　dost　thou　begin　to　love　me；　Kallikrates；〃　she　
answered；　smiling。　〃And　now　tell　me　of　thy　country
'tis　a　great　people；　is　it　not？　with　an　empire　like　
that　of　Rome！　Surely　thou　wouldst　return　thither；　and　
it　is　well；　for　I　mean　not　that　thou　shouldst　dwell　in　
these　caves　of　Ko^r。　Nay；　when　once　thou　art　even　as　I　
am；　we　will　go　hencefear　not　but　that　I　shall　find　a　
pathand　then　shall　we　cross　to　this　England　of　
thine；　and　live　as　it　becometh　us　to　live。　Two　
thousand　years　have　I　waited　for　the　day　when　I　should　
see　the　last　of　these　hateful　caves　and　this　gloomy…
visaged　folk；　and　now　it　is　at　hand；　and　my　heart　
bounds　up　to　meet　it　like　a　child's　towards　its　
holiday。　For　thou　shalt　rule　this　England〃

〃But　we　have　a　queen　already；〃　broke　in　Leo；　hastily。

〃It　is　naught；　it　is　naught；〃　said　Ayesha；　〃she　can　be　
overthrown。〃　At　this　we　both　broke　out　into　an　
exclamation　of　dismay；　and　explained　that　we　should　as　
soon　think　of　overthrowing　ourselves。

〃But　here　is　a　strange　thing；〃　said　Ayesha；　in　
astonishment；　〃a　queen　whom　her　people　love！　Surely　
the　world　must　have　changed　since　I　dwelt　in　Ko^r。〃

Again　we　explained　that　it　was　the　character　of　
monarchs　that　had　changed；　and　that　the　one　under　whom　
we　lived　was　venerated　and　beloved　by　all　right…
thinking　people　in　her　vast　realms。　Also；　we　told　her　
that　real　power　in　our　country　rested　in　the　hands　of　
the　people；　and　that　we　were　in　fact　ruled　by　the　
votes　of　the　lower　and　least　educated　classes　of　the　
community。

〃Ah；〃　she　said；　〃a　democracythen　surely　there　is　a　
tyrant；　for　I　have　long　since　seen　that　democracies；　
having　no　clear　will　of　their　own；　in　the　end　set　up　a　
tyrant；　and　worship　him。〃

〃Yes；〃　I　said；　〃we　have　our　tyrants。〃　

〃Well；〃　she　answered；　resignedly；　〃we　can　at　any　rate　
destroy　these　tyrants；　and　Kallikrates　shall　rule　the　
land。〃

I　instantly　informed　Ayesha　that　in　England　〃blasting〃　
was　not　an　amusement　that　could　be　indulged　in　with　
impunity；　and　that　any　such　attempt　would　meet　with　
the　consideration　of　the　law　and　probably　end　upon　a　
scaffold。

〃The　law；〃　she　laughed；　with　scorn…〃the　law！　Canst　
thou　not　understand；　O　Holly；　that　I　am　above　the　law；　
and　so　shall　my　Kallikrates　be　also？　All　human　law　
will　be　to　us　as　the　north　wind　to　a　mountain。　Does　
the　wind　bend　the　mountain；　or　the　mountain　the　wind？

〃And　now　leave　me；　I　pray　thee；　and　thou　too；　my　own　
Kallikrates；　for　I　would　get　me　ready　against　our　
journey；　and　so　must　ye　both；　and　your　servant　also。　
But　bring　no　great　quantity　of　things　with。　thee；　for　
I　trust　that　we　shall　be　but　three　days　gone。　Then　
shall　we　return　hither；　and　I　will　make　a　plan　whereby　
we　can　bid　farewell　forever　to　these　sepulchres　of　
Ko^r。　Yes；　surely　thou　mayst　kiss　my　hand！〃

So　we　went；　I；　for　one；　meditating　deeply　on　the　awful　
nature　of　the　problem　that　now　opened　out　before　us。　
The　terrible　_i_　She　_i_　had　evidently　made　up　her　
mind　to　go　to　England；　and　it　made　me　absolutely　
shudder　to　think　what　would　be　the　result　of　her　
arrival　there。