she-第35章
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upon thy face。〃
She laughed out in her bell…like notes。 〃Bethink thee；
Holly；〃 she answered； 〃bethink thee。 It seems that
thou knowest the old myths of the gods of Greece。 Was
there not one Actaeon who perished miserably because
he looked on too much beauty？ If I show thee my face；
perchance thou wouldst perish miserably also；
perchance thou wouldst eat out thy heart in impotent
desire； for know I am not for theeI am for no man；
save one； who hath been； but is not yet。〃
〃As thou wilt； Ayesha；〃 I said。 〃I fear not thy
beauty。 I have put my heart away from such vanity as
woman's loveliness； that passes like a flower。〃
〃Nay； thou errest；〃 she said； 〃that does not pass。 My
beauty endures even as I endure； still if thou wilt； O
rash man； have thy will； but blame not me if passion
mount thy reason； as the Egyptian breakers used to
mount a colt； and guide it whither thou wilt not。
Never may the man to whom my beauty hath been unveiled
put it from his mind； and therefore even with these
savages do I go veiled； lest they vex me； and I should
slay them。 Say； wilt thou see？〃
〃I will；〃 I answered； my curiosity overpowering me。
She lifted her white and rounded armsnever had I
seen such arms before…and slowly； very slowly；
withdrew some fastening beneath her hair。 Then all of
a sudden the long； corpse…like wrappings fell from her
to the ground； and my eyes travelled up her form； now
only robed in a garb of clinging white that did but
serve to show its perfect and imperial shape； instinct
with a life that was more than life； and with a
certain serpent…like grace that was more than human。
On her little feet were sandals； fastened with studs
of gold。 Then came ankles more perfect than ever
sculptor dreamed of。 About the waist her white kirtle
was fastened by a double…headed snake of solid gold；
above which her gracious form swelled up in lines as
pure as they were lovely； till the kirtle ended on the
snowy argent of her breast； whereon her arms were
folded。 I gazed above them at her face； andI do not
exaggerate shrank back blinded and amazed。 I have
heard of the beauty of celestial beings； now I saw it；
only this beauty； with all its awful loveliness and
purity； was evilat least； at the time； it struck me
as evil。 How am I to describe it？ I cannotsimply； I
cannot！ The man does not live whose pen could convey a
sense of what I saw。 I might talk of the great
changing eyes of deepest； softest black； of the tinted
face； of the broad and noble brow； on which the hair
grew low； and delicate； straight features。 But；
beautiful； surpassingly beautiful as they all were；
her loveliness did not lie in them。 It lay rather； if
it can be said to have had any fixed abiding…place； in
a visible majesty； in an imperial grace； in a godlike
stamp of softened power； which shone upon that radiant
countenance like a living halo。 Never before had I
guessed what beauty made sublime could be； and yet the
sublimity was a dark one； the glory was not all of
heaven； though none the less was it glorious。 Though
the face before me was that of a young woman of
certainly not more than thirty years； in perfect
health； and the first flush of ripened beauty； yet it
had stamped upon it a look of unutterable experience；
and of deep acquaintance with grief and passion。 Not
even the lovely smile that crept about the dimples of
her mouth could hide this shadow of sin and sorrow。 It
shone even in the light of the glorious eyes； it was
present in the air of majesty； and it seemed to say：
〃Behold me； lovely as no woman was or is； undying and
half divine； memory haunts me from age to age； and
passion leads me by the hand； evil have I done； and
with sorrow have I made acquaintance from age to age；
and from age to age evil I shall do； and sorrow shall
I know till my redemption comes。〃
Drawn by some magnetic force which I could not resist；
I let my eyes rest upon her shining orbs； and felt a
current pass from them to me that bewildered and half
blinded me。
She laughedah； how musically！ and nodded her little
head at me with an air of sublimated coquetry that
would have done credit to a Venus Victrix。
〃Rash man！〃 she said； 〃like Actaeon； thou hast had thy
will； be careful lest； like Actaeon； thou too dost
perish miserably； torn to pieces by the ban…hounds of
thine own passions。 I too； O Holly； am a virgin
goddess； not to be moved of any man； save one； and it
is not thou。 Say； hast thou seen enough？〃
〃I have looked on beauty； and I am blinded；〃 I said；
hoarsely； lifting my hand to cover up my eyes。
〃So！ what did I tell thee？ Beauty is like the
lightning； it is lovely； but it destroysspecially
trees； O Holly！〃 And again she nodded and laughed。
Suddenly she paused； and through my fingers I saw an
awful change come over her countenance。 Her great eyes
suddenly fixed themselves into an expression in which
horror seemed to struggle with some tremendous hope
arising through the depths of her dark soul。 The
lovely face grew rigid； and the gracious； willowy form
seemed to erect itself。
〃Man；〃 she half whispered； half hissed； throwing back
her head like a snake about to strike〃man； where
didst thou get that scarab on thy hand？ Speak； or by
the Spirit of Life I will blast thee where thou
standest！〃 and she took one light step towards me； and
from her eyes there shone such an awful lightto me
it seemed almost like a flamethat I fell； then and
there； on the ground before her； babbling confusedly
in my terror。
〃Peace；〃 she said； with a sudden change of manner； and
speaking in her former soft voice； 〃I did affright
thee！ Forgive me！ But at times； O Holly； the almost
infinite mind grows impatient of the slowness of the
very finite； and I am tempted to use my power out of
pure vexationvery nearly wast thou dead； but I
rememberedBut the scarababout the scarabaeus！〃
〃I picked it up；〃 I gurgled feebly； as I got on to my
feet again； and it is a solemn fact that my mind was
so disturbed that at the moment I could remember
nothing else about the ring except that I had picked
it up in Leo's cave。
〃It is very strange；〃 she said； with a sudden access
of woman…like trembling and agitation which seemed out
of place in this awful woman〃but once I knew a
scarab like that。 Ithung round the neckof one I
loved；〃 and she gave a little sob； and I saw that
after all she was only a woman； although she might be
a very old one。 〃There；〃 she went on； 〃it must be one
like it； and yet never did I see one like it； for
thereto hung a history； and he who wrote it prized it
much。 But the scarab that I knew was not set thus in
the bezel of a ring。 Go now； Holly； go； and； if thou
canst； try to forget that thou hast looked upon
Ayesha's beauty；〃 and； turning from me； she flung
herself on her couch； and buried her face in the
cushions。
As for me； I stumbled from her presence； and I do not
remember how I reached my own cave。
CHAPTER XIV
A SOUL IN HELL
It was nearly ten o'clock at night when I cast myself
down upon my bed； and began to gather my scattered
wits； and reflect upon what I had seen and heard。 But
the more I reflected the less I could make of it。 Was
I mad； or drunk； or dreaming； or was I merely the
victim of a gigantic and most elaborate hoax？ How was
it possible that I； a rational man； not unacquainted
with the leading scientific facts of our history； and
hitherto an absolute and utter disbeliever in all the
hocus…pocus that in Europe goes by the name of the
supernatural； could believe that I had； within the
last few minutes； been engaged in conversation with a
woman two thousand and odd years old？ The thing was
contrary to the experience of human nature； and
absolutely and utterly impossible。 It must be a hoax；
and yet； if it were a hoax； what was I to make of it？
What； too； was to be said of the figures on the water；
of the woman's extraordinary acquaintance with the
remote past； and； her ignorance； or apparent
ignorance； of any subsequent history？ What； too； of
her wonderful and awful loveliness？ This； at a
