the new machiavelli-第94章

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It　is　like　lighting　a　candle　for　the　sake　of　lighting　it；　over　and　

over　again；　and　each　time　blowing　it　out。　　That；　no　doubt；　must　be　

very　amusing　to　children　playing　with　the　matches；　but　not　to　people　

who　love　warm　light；　and　want　it　in　order　to　do　fine　and　honourable　

things　together。　　We　had　achievedI　give　the　ugly　phrase　that　

expresses　the　increasing　discolouration　in　my　mind〃illicit　

intercourse。〃　　To　end　at　that；　we　now　perceived；　wasn't　in　our　

style。　　But　where　were　we　to　end？　。　。　。



Perhaps　we　might　at　this　stage　have　given　it　up。　　I　think　if　we　

could　have　seen　ahead　and　around　us　we　might　have　done　so。　　But　the　

glow　of　our　cell　blinded　us。　。　。　。　　I　wonder　what　might　have　

happened　if　at　that　time　we　had　given　it　up。　。　。　。　　We　propounded　

it；　we　met　again　in　secret　to　discuss　it；　and　our　overpowering　

passion　for　one　another　reduced　that　meeting　to　absurdity。　。　。　。



Presently　the　idea　of　children　crept　between　us。　　It　came　in　from　

all　our　conceptions　of　life　and　public　service；　it　was；　we　found；　in　

the　quality　of　our　minds　that　physical　love　without　children　is　a　

little　weak；　timorous；　more　than　a　little　shameful。　　With　

imaginative　people　there　very　speedily　comes　a　time　when　that　

realisation　is　inevitable。　　We　hadn't　thought　of　that　beforeit　

isn't　natural　to　think　of　that　before。　　We　hadn't　known。　　There　is　

no　literature　in　English　dealing　with　such　things。



There　is　a　necessary　sequence　of　phases　in　love。　　These　came　in　

their　order；　and　with　them；　unanticipated　tarnishings　on　the　first　

bright　perfection　of　our　relations。　　For　a　time　these　developing　

phases　were　no　more　than　a　secret　and　private　trouble　between　us；　

little　shadows　spreading　by　imperceptible　degrees　across　that　vivid　

and　luminous　cell。







8





The　Handitch　election　flung　me　suddenly　into　prominence。



It　is　still　only　two　years　since　that　struggle；　and　I　will　not　

trouble　the　reader　with　a　detailed　history　of　events　that　must　be　

quite　sufficiently　present　in　his　mind　for　my　purpose　already。　　Huge　

stacks　of　journalism　have　dealt　with　Handitch　and　its　significance。　　

For　the　reader　very　probably；　as　for　most　people　outside　a　

comparatively　small　circle；　it　meant　my　emergence　from　obscurity。　　

We　obtruded　no　editor's　name　in　the　BLUE　WEEKLY；　I　had　never　as　yet　

been　on　the　London　hoardings。　　Before　Handitch　I　was　a　journalist　

and　writer　of　no　great　public　standing；　after　Handitch；　I　was　

definitely　a　person；　in　the　little　group　of　persons　who　stood　for　

the　Young　Imperialist　movement。　　Handitch　was；　to　a　very　large　

extent；　my　affair。　　I　realised　then；　as　a　man　comes　to　do；　how　much　

one　can　still　grow　after　seven　and　twenty。　　In　the　second　election　I　

was　a　man　taking　hold　of　things；　at　Kinghamstead　I　had　been　simply　a　

young　candidate；　a　party　unit；　led　about　the　constituency；　told　to　

do　this　and　that；　and　finally　washed　in　by　the　great　Anti…

Imperialist　flood；　like　a　starfish　rolling　up　a　beach。



My　feminist　views　had　earnt　the　mistrust　of　the　party；　and　I　do　not　

think　I　should　have　got　the　chance　of　Handitch　or　indeed　any　chance　

at　all　of　Parliament　for　a　long　time；　if　it　had　not　been　that　the　

seat　with　its　long　record　of　Liberal　victories　and　its　Liberal　

majority　of　3642　at　the　last　election；　offered　a　hopeless　contest。　　

The　Liberal　dissensions　and　the　belated　but　by　no　means　contemptible　

Socialist　candidate　were　providential　interpositions。　　I　think；　

however；　the　conduct　of　Gane；　Crupp；　and　Tarvrille　in　coming　down　to　

fight　for　me；　did　count　tremendously　in　my　favour。　　〃We　aren't　going　

to　win；　perhaps；〃　said　Crupp；　〃but　we　are　going　to　talk。〃　　And　until　

the　very　eve　of　victory；　we　treated　Handitch　not　so　much　as　a　

battlefield　as　a　hoarding。　　And　so　it　was　the　Endowment　of　

Motherhood　as　a　practical　form　of　Eugenics　got　into　English　

politics。



Plutus；　our　agent；　was　scared　out　of　his　wits　when　the　thing　began。



〃They're　ascribing　all　sorts　of　queer　ideas　to　you　about　the　

Family；〃　he　said。



〃I　think　the　Family　exists　for　the　good　of　the　children；〃　I　said；　

〃is　that　queer？〃



〃Not　when　you　explain　itbut　they　won't　let　you　explain　it。　　And　

about　marriage？〃



〃I'm　all　right　about　marriagetrust　me。〃



〃Of　course；　if　YOU　had　children；〃　said　Plutus；　rather　

inconsiderately。　。　。　。



They　opened　fire　upon　me　in　a　little　electioneering　rag　call　the　

HANDITCH　SENTINEL；　with　a　string　of　garbled　quotations　and　

misrepresentations　that　gave　me　an　admirable　text　for　a　speech。　　I　

spoke　for　an　hour　and　ten　minutes　with　a　more　and　more　crumpled　copy　

of　the　SENTINEL　in　my　hand；　and　I　made　the　fullest　and　completest　

exposition　of　the　idea　of　endowing　motherhood　that　I　think　had　ever　

been　made　up　to　that　time　in　England。　　Its　effect　on　the　press　was　

extraordinary。　　The　Liberal　papers　gave　me　quite　unprecedented　space　

under　the　impression　that　I　had　only　to　be　given　rope　to　hang　

myself；　the　Conservatives　cut　me　down　or　tried　to　justify　me；　the　

whole　country　was　talking。　　I　had　had　a　pamphlet　in　type　upon　the　

subject；　and　I　revised　this　carefully　and　put　it　on　the　book…stalls　

within　three　days。　　It　sold　enormously　and　brought　me　bushels　of　

letters。　　We　issued　over　three　thousand　in　Handitch　alone。　　At　

meeting　after　meeting　I　was　heckled　upon　nothing　else。　　Long　before　

polling　day　Plutus　was　converted。



〃It's　catching　on　like　old　age　pensions；〃　he　said。　　〃We've　dished　

the　Liberals！　　To　think　that　such　a　project　should　come　from　our　

side！〃



But　it　was　only　with　the　declaration　of　the　poll　that　my　battle　was　

won。　　No　one　expected　more　than　a　snatch　victory；　and　I　was　in　by　

over　fifteen　hundred。　　At　one　bound　Cossington's　papers　passed　from　

apologetics　varied　by　repudiation　to　triumphant　praise。　　〃A　

renascent　England；　breeding　men；〃　said　the　leader　in　his　chief　daily　

on　the　morning　after　the　polling；　and　claimed　that　the　Conservatives　

had　been　ever　the　pioneers　in　sanely　bold　constructive　projects。



I　came　up　to　London　with　a　weary　but　rejoicing　Margaret　by　the　night　

train。







CHAPTER　THE　SECOND



THE　IMPOSSIBLE　POSITION







1





To　any　one　who　did　not　know　of　that　glowing　secret　between　Isabel　

and　myself；　I　might　well　have　appeared　at　that　time　the　most　

successful　and　enviable　of　men。　　I　had　recovered　rapidly　from　an　

uncongenial　start　in　political　life；　I　had　become　a　considerable　

force　through　the　BLUE　WEEKLY；　and　was　shaping　an　increasingly　

influential　body　of　opinion；　I　had　re…entered　Parliament　with　quite　

dramatic　distinction；　and　in　spite　of　a　certain　faltering　on　the　

part　of　the　orthodox　Conservatives　towards　the　bolder　elements　in　

our　propaganda；　I　had　loyal　and　unenvious　associates　who　were　making　

me　a　power　in　the　party。　　People　were　coming　to　our　group；　

understandings　were　developing。　　It　was　clear　we　should　play　a　

prominent　part　in　the　next　general　election；　and　that；　given　a　

Conservative　victory；　I　should　be　assured　of　office。　　The　world　

opened　out　to　me　brightly　and　invitingly。　　Great　schemes　took　shape　

in　my　mind；　always　more　concrete；　always　more　practicable；　the　years　

ahead　seemed　falling　into　order；　shining　with　the　credible　promise　

of　immense　achievement。



And　at　the　heart　of　it　all；　unseen　and　unsuspected；　was　the　secret　

of　my　relations　with　Isabellike　a　seed　that　germinates　and　

thrusts；　thrusts　relentlessly。



From　the　onset　of　the　Handitch　contest　onward；　my　meetings　with　her　

had　been　more　and　more　pervaded　by　the　discussion　of　our　situation。　　

It　had　innumerable　aspects。　　It　was　very　present　to　us　that　we　

wanted　to　be　together　as　much　as　possiblewe　were　beginning　to　long　

very　much　for　actual　living　together　in　the　same　house；　so　that　one　

could　come　as　it　were　carelesslyunawaresupon　the　other；　busy　

perhaps　about　some　trivial　thing。　　We　wanted　to　feel　each　other　in　

the　daily　atmosphere。　　Preceding　our　imperatively　steri