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第4章

the new machiavelli-第4章

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swords were broken; sweeping the splendid curves of the Imperial 

Road into heaps of ruins; casting the jungle growth of Zululand into 

the fire。



Well; Master Dick;〃 the voice of this cosmic calamity would say; 

〃you ought to have put them away last night。  No! I can't wait until 

you've sailed them all away in ships。  I got my work to do; and do 

it I will。〃



And in no time all my continents and lands were swirling water and 

swiping strokes of house…flannel。



That was the worst of my giant visitants; but my mother too; dear 

lady; was something of a terror to this microcosm。  She wore spring…

sided boots; a kind of boot now vanished; I believe; from the world; 

with dull bodies and shiny toes; and a silk dress with flounces that 

were very destructive to the more hazardous viaducts of the Imperial 

Road。  She was always; I seem to remember; fetching me; fetching me 

for a meal; fetching me for a walk or; detestable absurdity! 

fetching me for a wash and brush up; and she never seemed to 

understand anything whatever of the political Systems across which 

she came to me。  Also she forbade all toys on Sundays except the 

bricks for church…building and the soldiers for church parade; or a 

Scriptural use of the remains of the Noah's Ark mixed up with a 

wooden Swiss dairy farm。  But she really did not know whether a 

thing was a church or not unless it positively bristled with cannon; 

and many a Sunday afternoon have I played Chicago (with the fear of 

God in my heart) under an infidel pretence that it was a new sort of 

ark rather elaborately done。



Chicago; I must explain; was based upon my father's description of 

the pig slaughterings in that city and certain pictures I had seen。  

You made your beastswhich were all the ark lot really; 

provisionally conceived as pigsgo up elaborate approaches to a 

central pen; from which they went down a cardboard slide four at a 

time; and dropped most satisfyingly down a brick shaft; and pitter…

litter over some steep steps to where a head slaughterman (ne Noah) 

strung a cotton loop round their legs and sent them by pin hooks 

along a wire to a second slaughterman with a chipped foot (formerly 

Mrs。 Noah) who; if I remember rightly; converted them into Army 

sausage by means of a portion of the inside of an old alarum clock。



My mother did not understand my games; but my father did。  He wore 

bright…coloured socks and carpet slippers when he was indoorsmy 

mother disliked boots in the houseand he would sit down on my 

little chair and survey the microcosm on the floor with admirable 

understanding and sympathy。



It was he gave me most of my toys and; I more than suspect; most of 

my ideas。  〃Here's some corrugated iron;〃 he would say; 〃suitable 

for roofs and fencing;〃 and hand me a lump of that stiff crinkled 

paper that is used for packing medicine bottles。  Or; 〃Dick; do you 

see the tiger loose near the Imperial Road?won't do for your 

cattle ranch。〃  And I would find a bright new lead tiger like a 

special creation at large in the world; and demanding a hunting 

expedition and much elaborate effort to get him safely housed in the 

city menagerie beside the captured dragon crocodile; tamed now; and 

his key lost and the heart and spring gone out of him。



And to the various irregular reading of my father I owe the 

inestimable blessing of never having a boy's book in my boyhood 

except those of Jules Verne。  But my father used to get books for 

himself and me from the Bromstead Institute; Fenimore Cooper and 

Mayne Reid and illustrated histories; one of the Russo…Turkish war 

and one of Napier's expedition to Abyssinia I read from end to end; 

Stanley and Livingstone; lives of Wellington; Napoleon and 

Garibaldi; and back volumes of PUNCH; from which I derived 

conceptions of foreign and domestic politics it has taken years of 

adult reflection to correct。  And at home permanently we had Wood's 

NATURAL HISTORY; a brand…new illustrated Green's HISTORY OF THE 

ENGLISH PEOPLE; Irving's COMPANIONS OF COLUMBUS; a great number of 

unbound parts of some geographical work; a VOYAGE ROUND THE WORLD I 

think it was called; with pictures of foreign places; and Clarke's 

NEW TESTAMENT with a map of Palestine; and a variety of other 

informing books bought at sales。  There was a Sowerby's BOTANY also; 

with thousands of carefully tinted pictures of British plants; and 

one or two other important works in the sitting…room。  I was allowed 

to turn these over and even lie on the floor with them on Sundays 

and other occasions of exceptional cleanliness。



And in the attic I found one day a very old forgotten map after the 

fashion of a bird's…eye view; representing the Crimea; that 

fascinated me and kept me for hours navigating its waters with a 

pin。





2



My father was a lank…limbed man in easy shabby tweed clothes and 

with his hands in his trouser pockets。  He was a science teacher; 

taking a number of classes at the Bromstead Institute in Kent under 

the old Science and Art Department; and 〃visiting〃 various schools; 

and our resources were eked out by my mother's income of nearly a 

hundred pounds a year; and by his inheritance of a terrace of three 

palatial but structurally unsound stucco houses near Bromstead 

Station。



They were big clumsy residences in the earliest Victorian style; 

interminably high and with deep damp  basements  and  downstairs  

coal…cellars  and kitchens  that suggested  an architect  

vindictively devoted to the discomfort of the servant class。  If so; 

he had overreached himself and defeated his end; for no servant 

would stay in them unless for exceptional wages or exceptional 

tolerance of inefficiency or exceptional freedom in repartee。  Every 

storey in the house was from twelve to fifteen feet high (which 

would have been cool and pleasant in a hot climate); and the stairs 

went steeply up; to end at last in attics too inaccessible for 

occupation。  The ceilings had vast plaster cornices of classical 

design; fragments of which would sometimes fall unexpectedly; and 

the wall…papers were bold and gigantic in pattern and much 

variegated by damp and ill…mended rents。



As my father was quite unable to let more than one of these houses 

at a time; and that for the most part to eccentric and undesirable 

tenants; he thought it politic to live in one of the two others; and 

devote the rent he received from the let one; when it was let; to 

the incessant necessary repairing of all three。  He also did some of 

the repairing himself and; smoking a bull…dog pipe the while; which 

my mother would not allow him to do in the house; he cultivated 

vegetables in a sketchy; unpunctual and not always successful manner 

in the unoccupied gardens。  The three houses faced north; and the 

back of the one we occupied was covered by a grape…vine that 

yielded; I remember; small green grapes for pies in the spring; and 

imperfectly ripe black grapes in favourable autumns for the purposes 

of dessert。 The grape…vine played an important part in my life; for 

my father broke his neck while he was pruning it; when I was 

thirteen。



My father was what is called a man of ideas; but they were not 

always good ideas。  My grandfather had been a private schoolmaster 

and one of the founders of the College of Preceptors; and my father 

had assisted him in his school until increasing competition and 

diminishing attendance had made it evident that the days of small 

private schools kept by unqualified persons were numbered。  

Thereupon my father had roused himself and had qualified as a 

science teacher under the Science and Art Department; which in these 

days had charge of the scientific and artistic education of the mass 

of the English population; and had thrown himself into science 

teaching and the earning of government grants therefor with great if 

transitory zeal and success。



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