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第17章

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noticed that she had been thinking about something else。 But she had

to force herself to attend; for what he was saying did not interest

her at all。 She looked at him and did not think; but felt; about

something different。 She felt a submissive tender love for this man

who would never understand all that she understood; and this seemed to

make her love for him still stronger and added a touch of passionate

tenderness。 Besides this feeling which absorbed her altogether and

hindered her from following the details of her husband's plans;

thoughts that had no connection with what he was saying flitted

through her mind。 She thought of her nephew。 Her husband's account

of the boy's agitation while Pierre was speaking struck her

forcibly; and various traits of his gentle; sensitive character

recurred to her mind; and while thinking of her nephew she thought

also of her own children。 She did not compare them with him; but

compared her feeling for them with her feeling for him; and felt

with regret that there was something lacking in her feeling for

young Nicholas。

  Sometimes it seemed to her that this difference arose from the

difference in their ages; but she felt herself to blame toward him and

promised in her heart to do better and to accomplish the impossible…

in this life to love her husband; her children; little Nicholas; and

all her neighbors; as Christ loved mankind。 Countess Mary's soul

always strove toward the infinite; the eternal; and the absolute;

and could therefore never be at peace。 A stern expression of the

lofty; secret suffering of a soul burdened by the body appeared on her

face。 Nicholas gazed at her。 〃O God! What will become of us if she

dies; as I always fear when her face is like that?〃 thought he; and

placing himself before the icon he began to say his evening prayers。

EP1|CH16

  CHAPTER XVI



  Natasha and Pierre; left alone; also began to talk as only a husband

and wife can talk; that is; with extraordinary clearness and rapidity;

understanding and expressing each other's thoughts in ways contrary to

all rules of logic; without premises; deductions; or conclusions;

and in a quite peculiar way。 Natasha was so used to this kind of

talk with her husband that for her it was the surest sign of something

being wrong between them if Pierre followed a line of logical

reasoning。 When he began proving anything; or talking

argumentatively and calmly and she; led on by his example; began to do

the same; she knew that they were on the verge of a quarrel。

  From the moment they were alone and Natasha came up to him with

wide…open happy eyes; and quickly seizing his head pressed it to her

bosom; saying: 〃Now you are all mine; mine! You won't escape!〃… from

that moment this conversation began; contrary to all the laws of logic

and contrary to them because quite different subjects were talked

about at one and the same time。 This simultaneous discussion of many

topics did not prevent a clear understanding but on the contrary was

the surest sign that they fully understood one another。

  Just as in a dream when all is uncertain; unreasoning; and

contradictory; except the feeling that guides the dream; so in this

intercourse contrary to all laws of reason; the words themselves

were not consecutive and clear but only the feeling that prompted

them。

  Natasha spoke to Pierre about her brother's life and doings; of

how she had suffered and lacked life during his own absence; and of

how she was fonder than ever of Mary; and how Mary was in every way

better than herself。 In saying this Natasha was sincere in

acknowledging Mary's superiority; but at the same time by saying it

she made a demand on Pierre that he should; all the same; prefer her

to Mary and to all other women; and that now; especially after

having seen many women in Petersburg; he should tell her so afresh。

  Pierre; answering Natasha's words; told her how intolerable it had

been for him to meet ladies at dinners and balls in Petersburg。

  〃I have quite lost the knack of talking to ladies;〃 he said。 〃It was

simply dull。 Besides; I was very busy。〃

  Natasha looked intently at him and went on:

  〃Mary is so splendid;〃 she said。 〃How she understands children! It

is as if she saw straight into their souls。 Yesterday; for instance;

Mitya was naughty。。。〃

  〃How like his father he is;〃 Pierre interjected。

  Natasha knew why he mentioned Mitya's likeness to Nicholas: the

recollection of his dispute with his brother…in…law was unpleasant and

he wanted to know what Natasha thought of it。

  〃Nicholas has the weakness of never agreeing with anything not

generally accepted。 But I understand that you value what opens up a

fresh line;〃 said she; repeating words Pierre had once uttered。

  〃No; the chief point is that to Nicholas ideas and discussions are

an amusement… almost a pastime;〃 said Pierre。 〃For instance; he is

collecting a library and has made it a rule not to buy a new book till

he has read what he had already bought… Sismondi and Rousseau and

Montesquieu;〃 he added with a smile。 〃You know how much I。。。〃 he began

to soften down what he had said; but Natasha interrupted him to show

that this was unnecessary。

  〃So you say ideas are an amusement to him。。。。〃

  〃Yes; and for me nothing else is serious。 All the time in Petersburg

I saw everyone as in a dream。 When I am taken up by a thought; all

else is mere amusement。〃

  〃Ah; I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you met the children;〃 said

Natasha。 〃Which was most delighted? Lisa; I'm sure。〃

  〃Yes;〃 Pierre replied; and went on with what was in his mind。

〃Nicholas says we ought not to think。 But I can't help it。 Besides;

when I was in Petersburg I felt (I can this to you) that the whole

affair would go to pieces without me… everyone was pulling his own

way。 But I succeeded in uniting them all; and then my idea is so clear

and simple。 You see; I don't say that we ought to oppose this and

that。 We may be mistaken。 What I say is: 'Join hands; you who love the

right; and let there be but one banner… that of active virtue。' Prince

Sergey is a fine fellow and clever。〃

  Natasha would have had no doubt as to the greatness of Pierre's

idea; but one thing disconcerted her。 〃Can a man so important and

necessary to society be also my husband? How did this happen?〃 She

wished to express this doubt to him。 〃Now who could decide whether

he is really cleverer than all the others?〃 she asked herself; and

passed in review all those whom Pierre most respected。 Judging by what

he had said there was no one he had respected so highly as Platon

Karataev。

  〃Do you know what I am thinking about?〃 she asked。 〃About Platon

Karataev。 Would he have approved of you now; do you think?〃

  Pierre was not at all surprised at this question。 He understood

his wife's line of thought。

  〃Platon Karataev?〃 he repeated; and pondered; evidently sincerely

trying to imagine Karataev's opinion on the subject。 〃He would not

have understood。。。 yet perhaps he would。〃

  〃I love you awfully!〃 Natasha suddenly said。 〃Awfully; awfully!〃

  〃No; he would not have approved;〃 said Pierre; after reflection。

〃What he would have approved of is our family life。 He was always so

anxious to find seemliness; happiness; and peace in everything; and

I should have been proud to let him see us。 There now… you talk of

my absence; but you wouldn't believe what a special feeling I have for

you after a separation。。。。〃

  〃Yes; I should think。。。〃 Natasha began。

  〃No; it's not that。 I never leave off loving you。 And one couldn't

love more; but this is something special。。。。 Yes; of course…〃 he did

not finish because their eyes meeting said the rest。

  〃What nonsense it is;〃 Natasha suddenly exclaimed; 〃about

honeymoons; and that the greatest happiness is at first! On the

contrary; now is the best of all。 If only you did not go away! Do

you remember how we quarreled? And it was always my fault。 Always

mine。 And what we quarreled 

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