贝壳电子书 > 英文原著电子书 > first epilogue >

第11章

first epilogue-第11章

小说: first epilogue 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!




occupied… that is; was reading or writing in his study。 Pierre had but

to show a partiality for anything to get just what he liked done

always。 He had only to express a wish and Natasha would jump up and

run to fulfill it。

  The entire household was governed according to Pierre's supposed

orders; that is; by his wishes which Natasha tried to guess。 Their way

of life and place of residence; their acquaintances and ties;

Natasha's occupations; the children's upbringing; were all selected

not merely with regard to Pierre's expressed wishes; but to what

Natasha from the thoughts he expressed in conversation supposed his

wishes to be。 And she deduced the essentials of his wishes quite

correctly; and having once arrived at them clung to them

tenaciously。 When Pierre himself wanted to change his mind she would

fight him with his own weapons。

  Thus in a time of trouble ever memorable to him after the birth of

their first child who was delicate; when they had to change the wet

nurse three times and Natasha fell ill from despair; Pierre one day

told her of Rousseau's view; with which he quite agreed; that to

have a wet nurse is unnatural and harmful。 When her next baby was

born; despite the opposition of her mother; the doctors; and even of

her husband himself… who were all vigorously opposed to her nursing

her baby herself; a thing then unheard of and considered injurious…

she insisted on having her own way; and after that nursed all her

babies herself。

  It very often happened that in a moment of irritation husband and

wife would have a dispute; but long afterwards Pierre to his

surprise and delight would find in his wife's ideas and actions the

very thought against which she had argued; but divested of

everything superfluous that in the excitement of the dispute he had

added when expressing his opinion。

  After seven years of marriage Pierre had the joyous and firm

consciousness that he was not a bad man; and he felt this because he

saw himself reflected in his wife。 He felt the good and bad within

himself inextricably mingled and overlapping。 But only what was really

good in him was reflected in his wife; all that was not quite good was

rejected。 And this was not the result of logical reasoning but was a

direct and mysterious reflection。

EP1|CH11

  CHAPTER XI



  Two months previously when Pierre was already staying with the

Rostovs he had received a letter from Prince Theodore; asking him to

come to Petersburg to confer on some important questions that were

being discussed there by a society of which Pierre was one of the

principal founders。

  On reading that letter (she always read her husband's letters)

Natasha herself suggested that he should go to Petersburg; though

she would feel his absence very acutely。 She attributed immense

importance to all her husband's intellectual and abstract interests

though she did not understand them; and she always dreaded being a

hindrance to him in such matters。 To Pierre's timid look of inquiry

after reading the letter she replied by asking him to go; but to fix a

definite date for his return。 He was given four weeks' leave of

absence。

  Ever since that leave of absence had expired; more than a

fortnight before; Natasha had been in a constant state of alarm;

depression; and irritability。

  Denisov; now a general on the retired list and much dissatisfied

with the present state of affairs; had arrived during that

fortnight。 He looked at Natasha with sorrow and surprise as at a bad

likeness of a person once dear。 A dull; dejected look; random replies;

and talk about the nursery was all he saw and heard from his former

enchantress。

  Natasha was sad and irritable all that time; especially when her

mother; her brother; Sonya; or Countess Mary in their efforts to

console her tried to excuse Pierre and suggested reasons for his delay

in returning。

  〃It's all nonsense; all rubbish… those discussions which lead to

nothing and all those idiotic societies!〃 Natasha declared of the very

affairs in the immense importance of which she firmly believed。

  And she would go to the nursery to nurse Petya; her only boy。 No one

else could tell her anything so comforting or so reasonable as this

little three…month…old creature when he lay at her breast and she

was conscious of the movement of his lips and the snuffling of his

little nose。 That creature said: 〃You are angry; you are jealous;

you would like to pay him out; you are afraid… but here am I! And I am

he。。。〃 and that was unanswerable。 It was more than true。

  During that fortnight of anxiety Natasha resorted to the baby for

comfort so often; and fussed over him so much; that she overfed him

and he fell ill。 She was terrified by his illness; and yet that was

just what she needed。 While attending to him she bore the anxiety

about her husband more easily。

  She was nursing her boy when the sound of Pierre's sleigh was

heard at the front door; and the old nurse… knowing how to please

her mistress… entered the room inaudibly but hurriedly and with a

beaming face。

  〃Has he come?〃 Natasha asked quickly in a whisper; afraid to move

lest she should rouse the dozing baby。

  〃He's come; ma'am;〃 whispered the nurse。

  The blood rushed to Natasha's face and her feet involuntarily moved;

but she could not jump up and run out。 The baby again opened his

eyes and looked at her。 〃You're here?〃 he seemed to be saying; and

again lazily smacked his lips。

  Cautiously withdrawing her breast; Natasha rocked him a little;

handed him to the nurse; and went with rapid steps toward the door。

But at the door she stopped as if her conscience reproached her for

having in her joy left the child too soon; and she glanced round。

The nurse with raised elbows was lifting the infant over the rail of

his cot。

  〃Go; ma'am! Don't worry; go!〃 she whispered; smiling; with the

kind of familiarity that grows up between a nurse and her mistress。

  Natasha ran with light footsteps to the anteroom。

  Denisov; who had come out of the study into the dancing room with

his pipe; now for the first time recognized the old Natasha。 A flood

of brilliant; joyful light poured from her transfigured face。

  〃He's come!〃 she exclaimed as she ran past; and Denisov felt that he

too was delighted that Pierre; whom he did not much care for; had

returned。

  On reaching the vestibule Natasha saw a tall figure in a fur coat

unwinding his scarf。 〃It's he! It's really he! He has come!〃 she

said to herself; and rushing at him embraced him; pressed his head

to her breast; and then pushed him back and gazed at his ruddy;

happy face; covered with hoarfrost。 〃Yes; it is he; happy and

contented。。。〃

  Then all at once she remembered the tortures of suspense she had

experienced for the last fortnight; and the joy that had lit up her

face vanished; she frowned and overwhelmed Pierre with a torrent of

reproaches and angry words。

  〃Yes; it's all very well for you。 You are pleased; you've had a good

time。。。。 But what about me? You might at least have shown

consideration for the children。 I am nursing and my milk was

spoiled。。。。 Petya was at death's door。 But you were enjoying yourself。

Yes; enjoying。。。〃

  Pierre knew he was not to blame; for he could not have come

sooner; he knew this outburst was unseemly and would blow over in a

minute or two; above all he knew that he himself was bright and happy。

He wanted to smile but dared not even think of doing so。 He made a

piteous; frightened face and bent down。

  〃I could not; on my honor。 But how is Petya?〃

  〃All right now。 Come along! I wonder you're not ashamed! If only you

could see what I was like without you; how I suffered!〃

  〃You are well?〃

  〃Come; come!〃 she said; not letting go of his arm。 And they went

to their rooms。

  When Nicholas and his wife came to look for Pierre he was in the

nursery holding his baby son; who was again awake; on his huge right

palm and dandling him。 A bli

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0

你可能喜欢的