the dwelling place of ligh-第67章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


door；　and　stood　trying　to　estimate　the　hour：　it　must　be；　she　thought；
about　six。　　She　set　the　hands；　took　the　key　from　the　nail　above　the
shelf；　wound　up　the　weight；　and　started　the　pendulum。　　And　the　sound　of
familiar　ticking　was　a　relief；　releasing　at　last　her　inhibited　powers　of
speech。

〃Mother；〃　she　said；　〃I'll　get　some　supper　for　you。〃

On　Hannah；　these　simple　words　had　a　seemingly　magical　effect。　　Habit
reasserted　itself。　　She　started；　and　rose　almost　briskly。

〃No　you　won't；〃　she　said；　〃I'll　get　it。　　I'd　ought　to　have　thought　of　it
before。　　You　must　be　tired　and　hungry。〃

Her　voice　was　odd　and　thin。　　Janet　hesitated　a　moment；　and　ceded。

〃Well；　I'll　set　the　dishes　on　the　table；　anyway。〃

Janet　had　sought　refuge；　wistfully；　in　the　commonplace。　　And　when　the
meal　was　ready　she　strove　to　eat；　though　food　had　become　repulsive。

〃You　must　take　something；　mother；〃　she　said。

〃I　don't　feel　as　if　I　ever　wanted　to　eat　anything　again；〃　she　replied。

〃I　know；〃　said　Janet；　〃but　you've　got　to。〃　　And　she　put　some　of　the　cold
meat；　left　over　from　Sunday's　dinner；　on　Hannah's　plate。　　Hannah　took　up
a　fork；　and　laid　it　down　again。　　Suddenly　she　said：

〃You　saw　Lise？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Janet。

〃Where　is　she？〃

〃In　a　housein　Boston。〃

〃One　ofthose　houses？〃

〃II　don't　know；〃　said　Janet。　　〃I　think　so。〃

〃You　went　there？〃

〃Mr。　Tiernan　went　with　me。〃

〃She　wouldn't　come　home？〃

〃Notnot　just　now；　mother。〃

〃You　left　her　there；　in　that　place？　　You　didn't　make　her　come　home？〃

The　sudden　vehemence　of　this　question；　the　shrill　note　of　reproach　in
Hannah's　voice　that　revealed；　even　more　than　the　terrible　inertia　from
which　she　had　emerged；　the　extent　of　her　suffering；　for　the　instant　left
Janet　utterly　dismayed。　　〃Oh　mother！〃　she　exclaimed。　　〃I　triedII
couldn't。〃

Hannah　pushed　back　her　chair。

〃I'll　go　to　her；　I'll　make　her　come。　　She's　disgraced　us；　but　I'll　make
her。　　Where　is　she？　　Where　is　the　house？〃

Janet；　terrified；　seized　her　mother's　arm。　　Then　she　said：

〃Lise　isn't　there　any　moreshe's　gone　away。〃

〃Away　　and　you　let　her　go　away？　　You　let　your　sister　go　away　and　be　aa
woman　of　the　town？　　You　never　loved　heryou　never　had　any　pity　for　her。〃

Tears　sprang　into　Janet's　eyestears　of　pity　mingled　with　anger。　　The
situation　had　grown　intolerable！　　Yet　how　could　she　tell　Hannah　where
Lise　was！

〃You　haven't　any　right　to　say　that；　mother！〃　she　cried。　　〃I　did　my　best。
She　wouldn't　come。　　II　can't　tell　you　where　she's　gone；　but　she
promised　to　write；　to　send　me　her　address。〃

〃Lise〃　Hannah's　cry　seemed　like　the　uncomprehending　whimper　of　a　stricken
child；　and　then　a　hidden　cadence　made　itself　felt；　a　cadence　revealing　to
Janet　with　an　eloquence　never　before　achieved　the　mystery　of　mother　love；
and　by　some　magic　of　tone　was　evoked　a　new　image　of　Liseof　Lise　as　she
must　be　to　Hannah。　　No　waywardness；　no　degradation　or　disgrace　could
efface　it。　　The　infant　whom　Hannah　had　clutched　to　her　breast；　the　woman；
her　sister；　whom　Janet　had　seen　that　day　were　oneimmutably　one。　　This；
then；　was　what　it　meant　to　be　a　mother！　　All　the　years　of　deadening　hope
had　not　availed　to　kill　the　cravingeven　in　this　withered　body　it　was
still　alive　and　quick。　　The　agony　of　that　revelation　was　scarcely　to　be
borne。　　And　it　seemed　that　Lise；　even　in　the　place　where　she　was；　must
have　heard　that　cry　and　heeded　it。　　And　yetthe　revelation　of　Lise's
whereabouts；　of　Lise's　contemplated　act　Janet　had　nearly　been　goaded　into
making；　died　on　her　lips。　　She　could　not　tell　Hannah！　　And　Lise's　child
must　not　come　into　a　world　like　this。　　Even　now　the　conviction　remained；
fierce；　exultant；　final。　　But　if　Janet　had　spoken　now　Hannah　would　not
have　heard　her。　　Under　the　storm　she　had　begun　to　rock；　weeping
convulsively。。。。　　But　gradually　her　weeping　ceased。　　And　to　Janet；
helplessly　watching；　this　process　of　congealment　was　more　terrible　even
than　the　release　that　only　an　unmitigated　violence　of　grief　had　been　able
to　produce。　　In　silence　Hannah　resumed　her　shrunken　duties；　and　when
these　were　finished　sat　awhile；　before　going　to　bed；　her　hands　lying
listless　in　her　lap。　　She　seemed　to　have　lived　for　centuries；　to　have
exhausted　the　gamut　of　suffering　which；　save　for　that　one　wild　outburst；
had　been　the　fruit　of　commonplace；　passive；　sordid　tragedy　that　knows　no
touch　of　fire。。。。

The　next　morning　Janet　was　awakened　by　the　siren。　　Never；　even　in　the
days　when　life　had　been　routine　and　commonplace；　had　that　sound　failed　to
arouse　in　her　a　certain　tremor　of　fear；　with　its　first　penetrating
shriek；　terror　invaded　her：　then；　by　degrees；　overcoming　her　numbness；
came　an　agonizing　realization　of　tragedy　to　be　faced。　　The　siren　blew　and
blew　insistently；　as　though　it　never　meant　to　stop；　and　now　for　the　first
time　she　seemed　to　detect　in　it　a　note　of　futility。　　There　were　those　who
would　dare　to　defy　it。　　She；　for　one；　would　defy　it。　　In　that　reflection
she　found　a　certain　fierce　joy。　　And　she　might　lie　in　bed　if　she　wished
how　often　had　she　longed　to！　　But　she　could　not。　　The　room　was　cold；
appallingly　empty　and　silent　as　she　hurried　into　her　clothes。　　The
dining…room　lamp　was　lighted；　the　table　set；　her　mother　was　bending　over
the　stove　when　she　reached　the　kitchen。　　After　the　pretence　of　breakfast
was　gone　through　Janet　sought　relief　in　housework；　making　her　bed；
tidying　her　room。　　It　was　odd；　this　morning；　how　her　notice　of　little；
familiar　things　had　the　power　to　add　to　her　pain；　brought　to　mind
memories　become　excruciating　as　she　filled　the　water　pitcher　from　the
kitchen　tap　she　found　herself　staring　at　the　nick　broken　out　of　it　when
Lise　had　upset　it。　　She　recalled　Lise's　characteristically　flippant
remark。　　And　there　was　the　streak　in　the　wall…paper　caused　one　night　by
the　rain　leaking　through　the　roof。　　After　the　bed　was　made　and　the　room
swept　she　stood　a　moment；　motionless；　and　then；　opening　the　drawer　in　the
wardrobe　took　from　it　the　rose　which　she　had　wrapped　in　tissue　paper　and
hidden　there；　and　with　a　perverse　desire　as　it　were　to　increase　the
bitterness　consuming　her；　to　steep　herself　in　pain；　she　undid　the　parcel
and　held　the　withered　flower　to　her　face。　　Even　now　a　fragrance；　faint
yet　poignant；　clung　to　it。。。。　　She　wrapped　it　up　again；　walked　to　the
window；　hesitated；　and　then　with　a　sudden　determination　to　destroy　this
sole　relic　of　her　happiness　went　to　the　kitchen　and　flung　it　into　the
stove。　　Hannah；　lingering　over　her　morning　task　of　cleaning；　did　not　seem
to　notice　the　act。　　Janet　turned　to　her。

〃I　think　I'll　go　out　for　a　while；　mother；〃　she　said。

〃You'd　ought　to；〃　Hannah　replied。　　〃There's　no　use　settin'　around　here。〃

The　silence　of　the　flat　was　no　longer　to　be　endured。　　And　Janet；　putting
on　her　coat　and　hat；　descended　the　stairs。　　Not　once　that　morning　had　her
mother　mentioned　Lise；　nor　had　she　asked　about　her　own　plansabout
Ditmar。　　This　at　least　was　a　relief；　it　was　the　question　she　had　feared
most。　　In　the　street　she　met　the　postman。

〃I　have　a　letter　for　you；　Miss　Janet；〃　he　said。　　And　on　the　pink　envelope
he　handed　her；　in　purple　ink；　she　recognized　the　unformed；　childish
handwriting　of　Lise。　　〃There's　great　doings　down　at　the　City　Hall；〃　the
postman　added　〃the　foreigners　are　holding　mass　meetings　there。〃
Janet　scarcely　heard　him　as　she　tore　open　the　envelope。　　〃Dear　Janet；〃
the　letter　ran。　　〃The　doctor　told　me　I　had　a　false　alarm；　there　was
nothing　to　it。　　Wouldn't　that　jar　you？　　Boston's　a　slow　burg；　and　there's
no　use　of　my　staying　here　now。　　I'm　going　to　New　York；　and　maybe　I'll
come　back　when　I've　had　a　look　at　the　great　white　way。　　I've　got　the
coin；　and　I　gave　him　the　mit　to…night。　　If　you　haven't　anything　better　to
do；　drop　in　at　the　Bagatelle　and　give　Walters　my　love；　and　tell　them　not
to　worry　at　home。　　There's　no　use　trying　to　trail　me。　　Your　affectionate
sister　Lise。〃

Janet　thrust　the　letter　in　her　pocket。　　Then　she　walked　rapidly　westward
until　she　came　to　the　liver…coloured　faeade　of　the　City　Hall；　opposite
the　Common。　　Pushing　through　the　crowd　of　operatives　lingering　on　the
pavement　in　front　of　it；　she　entered　the　building。。。。




End　of　The　Dwelling　Place　of　Light；　V2
by　Winston　Church