the dwelling place of ligh-第53章
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episode。 Lise had expected a tempest of indignant； searching questions；
a 〃third degree；〃 as she would have put it。 She snapped the bag
together； drew on her gloves； and； when she was ready to leave； with
characteristic audacity crossed the room； taking her sister's face
between her hands and kissing her。
〃Tell me your troubles； sweetheart！〃 she saidand did not wait to hear
them。
Janet was incapable of speechnor could she have brought herself to ask
Lise whether or not the money had been earned at the Bagatelle； and
remained miraculously unspent。 It was possible； but highly incredible。
And then； the vanity case and the new hat were to be accounted for！ The
sight of the gold piece； indeed； had suddenly revived in Janet the queer
feeling of faintness； almost of nausea she had experienced after parting
with Lottie Myers。 And by some untoward association she was reminded of
a conversation she had had with Ditmar on the Saturday afternoon
following their first Sunday excursion； when； on opening her pay
envelope； she had found twenty dollars。
〃Are you sure I'm worth it？〃 she had demandedand he had been quite
sure。 He had added that she was worth more； much more； but that he could
not give her as yet； without the risk of comment； a sum commensurate with
the value of her services。。。。 But now she asked herself again； was she
worth it？ or was it merelypart of her price？ Going to the wardrobe and
opening a drawer at the bottom she searched among her clothes until she
discovered the piece of tissue paper in which she had wrapped the rose
rescued from the cluster he had given her。 The petals were dry； yet they
gave forth； still； a faint； reminiscent fragrance as she pressed them to
her face。 Janet wept。。。。
The following morning as she was kneeling in a corner of the room by the
letter files； one of which she had placed on the floor； she recognized
his step in the outer office； heard him pause to joke with young
Caldwell； and needed not the visual proofwhen after a moment he halted
on the thresholdof the fact that his usual； buoyant spirits were
restored。 He held a cigar in his hand； and in his eyes was the eager
look with which she had become familiar； which indeed she had learned to
anticipate as they swept the room in search of her。 And when they fell
on her he closed the door and came forward impetuously。 But her
exclamation caused him to halt in bewilderment。
〃Don't touch me！〃 she said。
And he stammered out； as he stood over her：
〃What's the matter？〃
〃Everything。 You don't love meI was a fool to believe you did。〃
〃Don't love you！〃 he repeated。 〃My God； what's the trouble now？ What
have I done？〃
〃Oh； it's nothing you've done； it's what you haven't done； it's what you
can't do。 You don't really care for meall you care for is this mill
when anything happens here you don't know I'm alive。〃
He stared at her； and then an expression of comprehension； of intense
desire grew in his eyes； and his laugh； as he flung his cigar out of the
open window and bent down to seize her； was almost brutal。 She fought
him； she tried to hurt him； and suddenly； convulsively pressed herself to
him。
〃You little tigress！〃 he said； as he held her。 〃You were jealouswere
youjealous of the mill？〃 And he laughed again。 〃I'd like to see you
with something really to be jealous about。 So you love me like that； do
you？〃
She could feel his heart beating against her。
〃I won't be neglected；〃 she told him tensely。 〃I want all of youif I
can't have all of you； I don't want any。 Do you understand？〃
〃Do I understand？ Well； I guess I do。〃
〃You didn't yesterday；〃 she reproached him； somewhat dazed by the
swiftness of her submission； and feeling still the traces of a lingering
resentment。 She had not intended to surrender。 〃You forgot all about
me； you didn't know I was here； much less that I was hurt。 Oh； I was
hurt！ And youI can tell at once when anything's wrong with youI know
without your saying it。〃
He was amazed； he might indeed have been troubled and even alarmed by
this passion he had aroused had his own passion not been at the flood。
And as he wiped away her tears with his handkerchief he could scarcely
believe his senses that this was the woman whose resistance had demanded
all his force to overcome。 Indeed； although he recognized the symptoms
she betrayed as feminine； as having been registeredthough feebly
compared to this！ by incidents in his past； precisely his difficulty
seemed to be in identifying this complex and galvanic being as a woman；
not as something almost fearful in her significance； outside the bounds
of experience。。。。
Presently she ceased to tremble； and he drew her to the window。 The day
was as mild as autumn； the winter sun like honey in its mellowness； a
soft haze blurred the outline of the upper bridge。
〃Only two more days until Sunday；〃 he whispered； caressingly；
exultantly。。。。
CHAPTER XII
It had been a strange year in Hampton； unfortunate for coal merchants；
welcome to the poor。 But Sunday lacked the transforming touch of
sunshine。 The weather was damp and cold as Janet set out from Fillmore
Street。 Ditmar； she knew； would be waiting for her； he counted on her；
and she could not bear to disappoint him； to disappoint herself。 And all
the doubts and fears that from time to time had assailed her were
banished by this impulse to go to him； to be with him。 He loved her！
The words； as she sat in the trolley car； ran in her head like the lilt
of a song。 What did the weather matter？
When she alighted at the lonely cross…roads snow had already begun to
fall。 But she spied the automobile； with its top raised； some distance
down the lane； and in a moment she was in it； beside him； wrapped in the
coat she had now come to regard as her own。 He buttoned down the
curtains and took her in his arms。
〃What shall we do to…day；〃 she asked； 〃if it snows？〃
〃Don't let that worry you； sweetheart；〃 he said。 〃I have the chains on；
I can get through anything in this car。〃
He was in high； almost turbulent spirits as he turned the car and drove
it out of the rutty lane into the state road。 The snow grew thicker and
thicker still； the world was blotted out by swiftly whirling； feathery
flakes that melted on the windshield； and through the wet glass Janet
caught distorted glimpses of black pines and cedars beside the highway。
The ground was spread with fleece。 Occasionally； and with startling
suddenness； other automobiles shot like dark phantoms out of the
whiteness； and like phantoms disappeared。 Presently； through the veil；
she recognized Sillistona very different Silliston from that she had
visited on the fragrant day in springtime； when the green on the common
had been embroidered with dandelions； and the great elms whose bare
branches were now fantastically traced against the flowing veil of white…
…heavy with leaf。 Vignettes emergedonly to fade！of the old…world
houses whose quaint beauty had fascinated and moved her。 And she found
herself wondering what had become of the strange man she had mistaken for
a carpenter。 All that seemed to have taken place in a past life。 She
asked Ditmar where he was going。
〃Boston；〃 he told her。 〃There's no other place to go。〃
〃But you'll never get back if it goes on snowing like this。〃
〃Well； the trains are still running；〃 he assured her； with a quizzical
smile。 〃How about it； little girl？〃 It was a term of endearment
derived； undoubtedly； from a theatrical source； in which he sometimes
indulged。
She did not answer。 Surprisingly； to…day； she did not care。 All she
could think of； all she wanted was to go on and on beside him with the
world shut outon and on forever。 She was hiswhat did it matter？
They were on their way to Boston！ She began； dreamily； to think about
Boston； to try to restore it in her imagination to the exalted place it
had held before she met Ditmar； to reconstruct it from vague memories of
childhood when； in two of the family peregrinations； she had crossed it。
Traces remained of emotionally…toned impressions acquired when she had
walked about the city holding Edward's handof a long row of s
