the dwelling place of ligh-第5章
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language； one kisses； the other offers a cheek： Janet offered the cheek。 All
unconsciously she sought a relationship rarely to be found in banks and
business offices； would yield herself to none other。 The young women
stenographers in the Chippering Mill； respectable； industrious girls； were
attracted by a certain indefinable quality； but finding they made no progress
in their advances； presently desisted they were somewhat afraid of her； as one
of them remarked； 〃You always knew she was there。〃 Miss Lottie Meyers； who
worked in the office of Mr。 Orcutt； the superintendent across the hall；
experienced a brief infatuation that turned to hate。 She chewed gum
incessantly； Janet found her cheap perfume insupportable； Miss Meyers； for her
part； declared that Janet was 〃queer〃 and 〃stuck up；〃 thought herself better
than the rest of them。 Lottie Meyers was the leader of a group of four or five
which gathered in the hallway at the end of the noon hour to enter animatedly
into a discussion of waists； hats； and lingerie； to ogle and exchange
persiflages with the young men of the paymaster's corps； to giggle； to relate；
sotto voce； certain stories that ended invariably in hysterical laughter。
Janet detested these conversations。 And the sex question； subtly suggested if
not openly dealt with； to her was a mystery over which she did not dare to
ponder； terrible； yet too sacred to be degraded。 Her feelings； concealed under
an exterior of self…possession； deceptive to the casual observer； sometimes
became molten； and she was frightened by a passion that made her tremblea
passion by no means always consciously identified with men； embodying all the
fierce unexpressed and unsatisfied desires of her life。
These emotions； often suggested by some hint of beauty； as of the sun glinting
on the river on a bright blue day； had a sudden way of possessing her； and the
longing they induced was pain。 Longing for what？ For some unimagined
existence where beauty dwelt； and light； where the ecstasy induced by these was
neither moiled nor degraded； where shame； as now； might not assail her。 Why
should she feel her body hot with shame； her cheeks afire？ At such moments she
would turn to the typewriter； her fingers striking the keys with amazing
rapidity； with extraordinary accuracy and force；force vaguely disturbing to
Mr。 Claude Ditmar as he entered the office one morning and involuntarily paused
to watch her。 She was unaware of his gaze； but her colour was like a crimson
signal that flashed to him and was gone。 Why had he never noticed her before？
All these months； for more than a year； perhaps；she had been in his office；
and he had not so much as looked at her twice。 The unguessed answer was that
he had never surprised her in a vivid moment。 He had a flair for women； though
he had never encountered any possessing the higher values； and it was
characteristic of the plane of his mental processes that this one should remind
him now of a dark； lithe panther； tensely strung； capable of fierceness。 The
pain of having her scratch him would be delectable。
When he measured her it was to discover that she was not so little； and the
shoulder…curve of her uplifted arms； as her fingers played over the keys；
seemed to belie that apparent slimness。 And had he not been unacquainted with
the subtleties of the French mind and language； he
might have classed her as a fausse maigre。 Her head was small； her hair like a
dark； blurred shadow clinging round it。 He wanted to examine her hair； to see
whether it would not betray； at closer range； an imperceptible wave；but not
daring to linger he went into his office； closed the door； and sat down with a
sensation akin to weakness； somewhat appalled by his discovery； considerably
amazed at his previous stupidity。 He had thought of Janetwhen she had
entered his mind at allas unobtrusive； demure； now he recognized this
demureness as repression。 Her qualities needed illumination； and he； Claude
Ditmar； had seen them struck with fire。 He wondered whether any other man
had been as fortunate。
Later in the morning； quite casually； he made inquiries of Miss Ottway； who
liked Janet and was willing to do her a good turn。
〃Why； she's a clever girl； Mr。 Ditmar； a good stenographer； and conscientious
in her work。 She's very quick； too。
〃Yes； I've noticed that；〃 Ditmar replied； who was quite willing to have it
thought that his inquiry was concerned with Janet's aptitude for business。
〃She keeps to herself and minds her own affairs。 You can see she comes of good
stock。〃 Miss Ottway herself was proud of her New England blood。 〃Her father；
you know； is the gatekeeper down there。 He's been unfortunate。〃
〃You don't sayI didn't connect her with him。 Fine looking old man。 A friend
of mine who recommended him told me he'd seen better days 。。。。〃
CHAPTER II
In spite of the surprising discovery in his office of a young woman of such a
disquieting； galvanic quality； it must not be supposed that Mr。 Claude Ditmar
intended to infringe upon a fixed principle。 He had principles。 For him； as
for the patriarchs and householders of Israel； the seventh commandment was only
relative； yet hitherto he had held rigidly to that relativity； laying down the
sound doctrine that women and business would not mix： or； as he put it to his
intimates； no sensible man would fool with a girl in his office。 Hence it may
be implied that Mr。 Ditmar's experiences with the opposite sex had been on a
property basis。 He was one of those busy and successful persons who had never
appreciated or acquired the art of quasi…platonic amenities； whose idea of a
good time was limited to discreet excursions with cronies； likewise busy and
successful persons who； by reason of having married early and unwisely； are
strangers to the delights of that higher social intercourse chronicled in
novels and the public prints。 If one may conveniently overlook the joys of a
companionship of the soul； it is quite as possible to have a taste in women as
in champagne or cigars。 Mr。 Ditmar preferred blondes； and he liked them rather
stout； a predilection that had led him into matrimony with a lady of this
description： a somewhat sticky； candy…eating lady with a mania for card
parties； who undoubtedly would have dyed her hair if she had lived。 He was not
inconsolable； but he had had enough of marriage to learn that it demands a
somewhat exorbitant price for joys otherwise more reasonably to be obtained。
He was left a widower with two children； a girl of thirteen and a boy of
twelve； both somewhat large for their ages。 Amy attended the only private
institution for the instruction of her sex of which Hampton could boast； George
continued at a public school。 The late Mrs。 Ditmar for some years before her
demise had begun to give evidence of certain restless aspirations to which
American ladies of her type and situation seem peculiarly liable； and with a
view to their ultimate realization she had inaugurated a Jericho…like campaign。
Death had released Ditmar from its increasing pressure。 For his wife had
possessed that admirable substitute for character； persistence； had been expert
in the use of importunity； often an efficient weapon in the hands of the female
economically dependent。 The daughter of a defunct cashier of the Hampton
National Bank； when she had married Ditmar； then one of the superintendents of
the Chippering and already a marked man； she had deemed herself fortunate among
women； looking forward to a life of ease and idleness and candy in great
abundance；a dream temporarily shattered by the unforeseen discomfort of
bringing two children into the world； with an interval of scarcely a year
between them。 Her parents from an excess of native modesty having failed to
enlighten her on this subject； her feelings were those of outraged
astonishment； and she was quite determined not to repeat the experience a third
time。 Knowledge thus belatedly acquired； for a while she abandoned herself to
the satisfaction afforded by the ability to take a commanding position in
Hampton society； gradually to become aware of the need of a more commodious
residence
