the dwelling place of ligh-第33章
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〃Oh no； we don't close until ten；〃 answered the saleswoman。 She was seated
quietly sewing under the lamp。
〃I wonder whether you'd mind if I put on my old suit again； and carried this？〃
Janet asked。
The expression of sympathy and understanding in the woman's eyes； as she rose；
brought the blood swiftly to Janet's face。 She felt that her secret had been
guessed。 The change effected； Janet went homeward swiftly； to encounter； on
the corner of Faber Street； her sister Lise； whose attention was immediately
attracted by the bundle。
〃What have you got there； angel face？〃 she demanded。
〃A new suit；〃 said Janet。
〃You don't tell mewhere'd you get it？ at the Paris？〃
〃No； at Dowling's。〃
〃Say； I'll bet it was that plain blue thing marked down to twenty！〃
〃Well； what if it was？〃
Lise； when surprised or scornful； had a peculiarly irritating way of whistling
through her teeth。
〃Twenty bucks！ Gee； you'll be getting your clothes in Boston next。 Well； as
sure as I live when I went by that window the other day when they first knocked
it down I said to Sadie； ‘those are the rags Janet would buy if she had the
ready。' Have you got another raise out of Ditmar？〃
〃If I have； it isn't any business of yours；〃 Janet retorted。 〃I've got a right
to do as I please with my own money。〃
〃Oh sure；〃 said Lise； and added darkly： 〃I guess Ditmar likes to see you look
well。〃
After this Janet refused obstinately to speak to Lise； to answer； when they
reached home； her pleadings and complaints to their mother that Janet had
bought a new suit and refused to exhibit it。 And finally； when they had got to
bed； Janet lay long awake in passionate revolt against this new expression of
the sordidness and lack of privacy in which she was forced to live； made the
more intolerable by the close； sultry darkness of the room and the snoring of
Lise。
In the morning； however； after a groping period of semiconsciousness during the
ringing of the bells； the siren startled her into awareness and alertness。 It
had not wholly lost its note of terror； but the note had somehow become
exhilarating； an invitation to adventure and to life； and Lise's sarcastic
comments as to the probable reasons why she did not put on the new suit had
host their power of exasperation。 Janet compromised； wearing a blouse of china
silk hitherto reserved for 〃best。〃 The day was bright； and she went rapidly
toward the mill； glorying in the sunshine and the autumn sharpness of the air；
and her thoughts were not so much of Ditmar as of something beyond him； of
which he was the medium。 She was going； not to meet him； but to meet that。
When she reached the office she felt weak； her fingers trembled as she took off
her hat and jacket and began to sort out the mail。 And she had to calm herself
with the assurance that her relationship with Ditmar had undergone no change。
She had merely met him by the canal； and he had talked to her。 That was all。
He had； of course； taken her arm： it tingled when she remembered it。 But when
he suddenly entered the room her heart gave a bound。 He closed the door； he
took off his hat； and stood gazing at herwhile she continued arranging
letters。 Presently she was forced to glance at him。 His bearing； his look；
his confident smile all proclaimed that he； at least； believed things to be
changed。 He glowed with health and vigour； with an aggressiveness from which
she shrank； yet found delicious。
〃How are you this morning？〃 he said at lastthis morning as distinguished
from all other mornings。
〃I'm well； as usual；〃 she answered。 She herself was sometimes surprised by her
ability to remain outwardly calm。
〃Why did you run away from me last night？〃
〃I didn't run away； I had to go home；〃 she said； still arranging the letters。
〃We could have had a little walk。 I don't believe you had to go home at all。
You just wanted an excuse to get away from me。〃
〃I didn't need an excuse；〃 she told him。 He moved toward her； but she took a
paper from the desk and carried it to a file across the room。
〃I thought we were going to be friends；〃 he said。
〃Being friends doesn't mean being foolish；〃 she retorted。 〃And Mr。 Orcutt's
waiting to see you。〃
〃Let him wait。〃
He sat down at his desk； but his blood was warm； and he read the typewritten
words of the topmost letter of the pile without so much as grasping the meaning
of them。 From time to time he glanced up at Janet as she flitted about the
room。 By George； she was more desirable than he had ever dared to imagine！ He
felt temporarily balked； but hopeful。 On his way to the mill he had dwelt with
Epicurean indulgence on this sight of her； and he had not been disappointed。
He had also thought that he might venture upon more than the mere feasting of
his eyes； yet found an inspiring alleviation in the fact that she by no means
absolutely repulsed him。 Her attitude toward him had undergone a subtle
transformation。 There could be no doubt of that。 She was almost coquettish。
His eyes lingered。 The china silk blouse was slightly open at the neck；
suggesting the fullness of her throat； it clung to the outline of her
shoulders。 Overcome by an impulse he could not control； he got up and went
toward her； but she avoided him。
〃I'll tell Mr。 Orcutt you've come；〃 she said； rather breathlessly； as she
reached the door and opened it。 Ditmar halted in his steps at the sight of the
tall； spectacled figure of the superintendent on the threshold。
Orcutt hesitated； looking from one to the other。
〃I've been waiting for you；〃 he said； after a moment； 〃the rest of that lot
didn't come in this morning。 I've telephoned to the freight agent。〃
Ditmar stared at him uncomprehendingly。 Orcutt repeated the information。
〃Oh well； keep after him； get him to trace them。〃
〃I'm doing that；〃 replied the conscientious Orcutt。
〃How's everything else going？〃 Ditmar demanded； with unlooked…for geniality。
〃You mustn't take things too hard； Orcutt； don't wear yourself out。〃
Mr。 Orcutt was relieved。 He had expected an outburst of the exasperation that
lately had characterized his superior。 They began to chat。 Janet had escaped。
〃Miss Bumpus told me you wanted to see me。 I was just going to ring you up；〃
Ditmar informed him。
〃She's a clever young woman； seems to take such an interest in things；〃 Orcutt
observed。 〃And she's always on the job。 Only yesterday I saw her going
through the mill with young Caldwell。〃
Ditmar dropped the paper…weight he held。
〃Oh； she went through； did she？〃
After Orcutt departed he sat for awhile whistling a tune； from a popular
musical play； keeping time by drumming with his fingers on the desk。
That Mr。 Semple； the mill treasurer； came down from Boston that morning to
confer with Ditmar was for Janet in the nature of a reprieve。 She sat by her
window； and as her fingers flew over the typewriter keys she was swept by
surges of heat in which ecstasy and shame and terror were strangely commingled。
A voice within her said； 〃This can't go on； this can't go on！ It's too
terrible！ Everyone in the office will notice itthere will be a scandal。 I
ought to go away while there is yet timeto…day。〃 Though the instinct of
flight was strong within her； she was filled with rebellion at the thought of
leaving when Adventure was flooding her drab world with light； even as the mill
across the waters was transfigured by the heavy golden wash of the autumn sun。
She had made at length the discovery that Adventure had to do with Man； was
inconceivable without him。
Racked by these conflicting impulses of self…preservation on the one hand and
what seemed self…realization on the other； she started when； toward the middle
of the afternoon； she heard Ditmar's voice summoning her to take his letters；
and went palpitating； leaving the door open behind her； seating herself on the
far side of the desk； her head bent over her book。 Her neck； where her hair
grew in wisps behind her ear； seemed to burn： Ditmar's glance was focussed
there。 Her hands were cold as she wrote。。。。 Then； like a deliverer； she saw
young Caldwell coming in from the outer office； holding a card in his han
