the dwelling place of ligh-第32章
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〃Were youwere you coming to the office？〃
〃I was just out walking；〃 she told him。 〃I thought you were in Boston。〃
〃I came home；〃 he informed her； somewhat superfluously； his eyes never leaving
her； wandering hungrily from her face to her new suit； and back again to her
face。 〃I got here on the seven o'clock train； I wanted to see about those new
Blubbers。〃
〃They finished setting them up this afternoon；〃 she said。
〃How did you know？〃
〃I asked Mr。 Orcutt about itI thought you might telephone。〃
〃You're a wonder；〃 was his comment。 〃Well； we've got a running start on that
order；〃 and he threw a glance over his shoulder at the mill。 〃Everything going
full speed ahead。 When we put it through I guess I'll have to give you some of
the credit。〃
〃Oh； I haven't done anything；〃 she protested。
〃More than you think。 You've taken so much off my shoulders I couldn't get
along without you。〃 His voice vibrated； reminding her of the voices of those
who made sentimental recitations for the graphophone。 It sounded absurd； yet
it did not repel her： something within her responded to it。 〃Which way were
you going？〃 he inquired。
〃Home；〃 she said。
〃Where do you live？〃
〃In Fillmore Street。〃 And she added with a touch of defiance： 〃It's a little
street； three blocks above Hawthorne； off East Street。〃
〃Oh yes；〃 he said vaguely； as though he had not understood。 〃I'll come with
you as far as the bridgealong the canal。 I've got so much to say to you。〃
〃Can't you say it to…morrow？〃
〃No； I can't； there are so many people in the officeso many interruptions； I
mean。 And then； you never give me a chance。〃
She stood hesitating； a struggle going on within her。 He had proposed the
route along the canal because nobody would be likely to recognize them； and her
pride resented this。 On the other hand； there was the sweet allurement of the
adventure she craved； which indeed she had come out to seek and by a strange
fatality foundsince he had appeared on the bridge almost as soon as she
reached it。 The sense of fate was strong upon her。 Curiosity urged her； and；
thanks to the eulogy she had read of him that day； to the added impression of
his power conveyed by the trip through the mills； Ditmar loomed larger than
ever in her consciousness。
〃What do you want to say？〃 she asked。
〃Oh； lots of things。〃
She felt his hand slipping under her arm； his fingers pressing gently but
firmly into her flesh； and the experience of being impelled by a power stronger
than herself； a masculine power； was delicious。 Her arm seemed to burn where
he touched her。
〃Have I done something to offend you？〃 she heard him say。 〃Or is it because
you don't like me？〃
〃I'm not sure whether I like you or not；〃 she told him。 〃I don't like seeing
youthis way。 And why should you want to know me and see me outside of the
office？ I'm only your stenographer。〃
〃Because you're youbecause you're different from any woman I ever met。 You
don't understand what you areyou don't see yourself。〃
〃I made up my mind last night I wouldn't stay in your office any longer；〃 she
informed him。
〃For God's sake； why？〃 he exclaimed。 〃I've been afraid of that。 Don't goI
don't know what I'd do。 I'll be carefulI won't get you talked about。〃
〃Talked about！〃 She tore herself away from him。 〃Why should you get me talked
about？〃 she cried。
He was frightened。 〃No； no；〃 he stammered； 〃I didn't mean〃
〃What did you mean？〃
〃Wellas you say； you're my stenographer； but that's no reason why we
shouldn't be friends。 I only meantI wouldn't do anything to make our
friendship the subject of gossip。〃
Suddenly she began to find a certain amusement in his confusion and penitence；
she achieved a pleasurable sense of advantage； of power over him。
〃Why should you want me？ I don't know anything； I've never had any advantages…
…and you have so much。 I read an article in the newspaper about you todayMr。
Caldwell gave it to me〃
〃Did you like it？〃 he interrupted； naively。
〃Well； in some places it was rather funny。〃
〃Funny？ How？〃
〃Oh； I don't know。〃 She had been quick to grasp in it the journalistic lack of
restraint hinted at by Caldwell。 〃I liked it； but I thought it praised you too
much； it didn't criticize you enough。〃
He laughed。 In spite of his discomfort； he found her candour refreshing。 From
the women to whom he had hitherto made love he had never got anything but
flattery。
〃I want you to criticize me；〃 he said。
But she went on relentlessly：
〃When I read in that article how successful you were； and how you'd got
everything you'd started out to get； and how some day you might be treasurer
and president of the Chippering Mill； well〃 Despairing of giving adequate
expression to her meaning； she added； 〃I didn't see how we could be friends。〃
〃You wanted me for a friend？〃 he interrupted eagerly。
〃I couldn't help knowing you wanted meyou've shown it so plainly。 But I
didn't see how it could be。 You asked me where I livedin a little flat
that's no better than a tenement。 I suppose you would call it a tenement。
It's dark and ugly； it only has four rooms； and it smells of cooking。 You
couldn't come theredon't you see how impossible it is？ And you wouldn't care
to be talked about yourself； either；〃 she added vehemently。
This defiant sincerity took him aback。 He groped for words。
〃Listen！〃 he urged。 〃I don't want to do anything you wouldn't like； and
honestly I don't know what I'd do if you left me。 I've come to depend on you。
And you may not believe it； but when I got that Bradlaugh order I thought of
you； I said to myself 'She'll be pleased； she'll help me to put it over。'〃
She thrilled at this； she even suffered him； for some reason unknown to
herself； to take her arm again。
〃How could I help you？〃
〃Oh； in a thousand waysyou ought to know； you do a good deal of thinking for
me； and you can help me by just being there。 I can't explain it； but I feel
somehow that things will go right。 I've come to depend on you。〃
He was a little surprised to find himself saying these things he had not
intended to say； and the lighter touch he had always possessed in dealing with
the other sex； making him the envied of his friends； had apparently abandoned
him。 He was appalled at the possibility of losing her。
〃I've never met a woman like you；〃 he went on； as she remained silent。 〃You're
differentI don't know what it is about you； but you are。〃 His voice was low；
caressing； his head was bent down to her； his shoulder pressed against her
shoulder。 〃I've never had a woman friend before； I've never wanted one until
now。〃
She wondered about his wife。
〃You've got brainsI've never met a woman with brains。〃
〃Oh； is that why？〃 she exclaimed。
〃You're beautiful；〃 he whispered。 〃It's queer； but I didn't know it at first。
You're more beautiful to…night than I've ever seen you。〃
They had come almost to Warren Street。 Suddenly realizing that they were
standing in the light； that people were passing to and fro over the end of the
bridge； she drew away from him once more； this time more gently。
〃Let's walk back a little way；〃 he proposed。
〃I must go homeit's late。〃
〃It's only nine o'clock。〃
〃I have an errand to do； and they'll expect me。 Good night。〃
〃Just one more turn！〃 he pleaded。
But she shook her head； backing away from him。
〃You'll see me to…morrow；〃 she told him。 She didn't know why she said that。
She hurried along Warren Street without once looking over her shoulder； her
feet seemed scarcely to touch the ground； the sound of music was in her ears；
the lights sparkled。 She had had an adventure； at last； an adventure that
magically had transformed her life！ She was beautiful！ No one had ever told
her that before。 And he had said that he needed her。 She smiled as； with an
access of tenderness； in spite of his experience and power she suddenly felt
years older than Ditmar。 She could help him！。。。
She was breathless when she reached the shop in Faber Street。
〃I hope I haven't kept you waiting；〃 she said。
〃Oh no； we don't close until ten；〃 answered the saleswoman。 She was seated
quietly
