the dwelling place of ligh-第28章
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she stood still； then closed the door softly。
〃Lise；〃 she said。
〃What？〃
Janet sat down on the bed； putting out her hand。 Unconsciously she began to
stroke Lise's hand； and presently it turned and tightened on her own。
〃Lise；〃 she said； 〃I understand why you〃 she could not bring herself to
pronounce the words 〃got drunk；〃〃I understand why you did it。 I oughtn't to
have talked to you that way。 But it was terrible to wake up and see you。〃
For awhile Lise did not reply。 Then she raised herself； feeling her hair with
an involuntary gesture； regarding her sister with a bewildered look； her face
puckered。 Her eyes burned； and under them were black shadows。
〃How do you meanyou understand？〃 she asked slowly。 〃You never hit the
booze。〃
Even Lise's language； which ordinarily offended her； failed to change her
sudden impassioned and repentant mood。 She was astonished at herself for this
sudden softening； since she did not really love Lise； and all day she had hated
her； wished never to see her again。
〃No； but I can understand how it would be to want to；〃 Janet said。 〃Lise； I
guess we're searchingboth of us for something we'll never find。〃
Lise stared at her with a contracted； puzzled expression； as of a person
awaking from sleep； all of whose faculties are being strained toward
comprehension。
〃What do you mean？〃 she demanded。 〃You and me？ You're all rightyou've got
no kick coming。〃
〃Life is hard； it's hard on girls like uswe want things we can't have。〃
Janet was at a loss to express herself。
〃Well； it ain't any pipe dream；〃 Lise agreed。 Her glance turned involuntarily
toward the picture of the Olympian dinner party pinned on the wall。 〃Swells
have a good time；〃 she added。
〃Maybe they pay for it； too；〃 said Janet。
〃I wouldn't holler about payingit's paying and not getting the goods；〃
declared Lise。
〃You'll pay； and you won't get it。 That kind of life ishell；〃 Janet cried。
Self…centered as Lise was； absorbed in her own trouble and present physical
discomfort； this unaccustomed word from her sister and the vehemence with which
it was spoken surprised and frightened her； brought home to her some hint of
the terror in Janet's soul。
〃Me for the water wagon；〃 she said。
Janet was not convinced。 She had hoped to discover the identity of the man who
had taken Lise to Gruber's； but she did not attempt to continue the
conversation。 She rose and took off her hat。
〃Why don't you go to bed？〃 she asked。 〃I'll tell mother you have a headache
and bring in your supper。〃
〃Well； I don't care if I do；〃 replied Lise； gratefully。
Perhaps the most disconcerting characteristic of that complex affair； the human
organism； is the lack of continuity of its moods。 The soul； so called； is as
sensitive to physical conditions as a barometer： affected by lack of sleep； by
smells and sounds； by food； by the weatherwhether a day be sapphire or
obsidian。 And the resolutions arising from one mood are thwarted by the
actions of the next。 Janet had observed this phenomenon； and sometimes； when
it troubled her； she thought herself the most inconsistent and vacillating of
creatures。 She had resolved； far instance； before she fell asleep； to leave
the Chippering Mill； to banish Ditmar from her life； to get a position in Boston；
whence she could send some of her wages home： and in the morning； as she made her
way to the office； the determination gave her a sense of peace and unity。 But the
northwest wind was blowing。 It had chased away the mist and the clouds； the smoke
from Canada。 The sun shone with a high brilliancy； the elms of the Common cast
sharp； black shadow…patterns on the pavements； and when she reached the office
and looked out of his window she saw the blue river covered with quicksilver
waves chasing one another across the current。 Ditmar had not yet returned to
Hampton。 About ten o'clock； as she was copying out some figures for Mr。 Price；
young Mr。 Caldwell approached her。 He had a Boston newspaper in his hand。
〃Have you seen this article about Mr。 Ditmar？〃 he asked。
〃About Mr。 Ditmar？ No。〃
〃It's quite a send…off for the Colonel；〃 said Caldwell； who was wont at times
to use the title facetiously。 〃Listen； ‘One of the most notable figures in the
Textile industry of the United States； Claude Ditmar； Agent of the Chippering
Mill。'〃 Caldwell spread out the page and pointed to a picture。 〃There he is；
as large as life。〃
A little larger than life； Janet thought。 Ditmar was one of those men who； as
the expression goes； 〃take〃 well； a valuable asset in semi…public careers； and
as he stood in the sunlight on the steps of the building where they had 〃snap…
shotted〃 him he appeared even more massive； forceful； and preponderant than she
had known him。 Beholding him thus set forth and praised in a public print； he
seemed suddenly to have been distantly removed from her； to have reacquired at
a bound the dizzy importance he had possessed for her before she became his
stenographer。 She found it impossible to realize that this was the Ditmar who
had pursued and desired her； at times supplicating； apologetic； abject； and
again revealed by the light in his eyes and the trembling of his hand as the
sinister and ruthless predatory male from whomsince the revelation in her
sister Lise she had determined to flee； and whom she had persuaded herself she
despised。 He was a bigger man than she had thought； and as she read rapidly
down the column the fascination that crept over her was mingled with
disquieting doubt of her own powers： it was now difficult to believe she had
dominated or could ever dominate this self…sufficient； successful person； the
list of whose achievements and qualities was so alluringly set forth by an
interviewer who himself had fallen a victim。
The article carried the implication that the modern； practical； American
business man was the highest type as yet evolved by civilization： and Ditmar；
referred to as 〃a wizard of the textile industry；〃 was emphatically one who had
earned the gratitude of the grand old Commonwealth。 By the efforts of such
sons she continued to maintain her commanding position among her sister states。
Prominent among the qualities contributing to his success was openmindedness；
〃a willingness to be shown；〃 to scrap machinery when his competitors still
clung to older methods。 The Chippering Mill had never had a serious strike；
indication of an ability to deal with labour； and Mr。 Ditmar's views on labour
followed： if his people had a grievance； let them come to him； and settle it
between them。 No unions。 He had consistently refused to recognize them。
There was mention of the Bradlaugh order as being the largest commission ever
given to a single mill； a reference to the excitement and speculation it had
aroused in trade circles。 Claude Ditmar's ability to put it through was
unquestioned； one had only to look at him；tenacity； forcefulness；
executiveness were written all over him。。。。 In addition； the article contained
much material of an autobiographical nature that mustJanet thoughthave been
supplied by Ditmar himself； whose modesty had evidently shrunk from the cruder
self…eulogy of an interview。 But she recognized several characteristic
phrases。
Caldwell； watching her as she read； was suddenly fascinated。 During a trip
abroad； while still an undergraduate； he had once seen the face of an actress；
a really good Parisian actress； light up in that way； and it had revealed to
him； in a flash； the meaning of enthusiasm。 Now Janet became vivid for him。
There must be something unusual in a person whose feelings could be so intense；
whose emotions rang so true。 He was not unsophisticated。 He had sometimes
wondered why Ditmar had promoted her； though acknowledging her ability。 He
admired Ditmar； but had no illusions about him。 Harvard； and birth in a social
stratum where emphasis is superfluous； enabled him to smile at the reporter's
exuberance； and he was the more drawn toward her to see on Janet's flushed face
the hint of a smile as she looked up at him when she had finished。
〃The Colonel hypnotized that reporter；〃 he said； as he took the paper；
