the dwelling place of ligh-第25章
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turn the light on。 And he sat so stillmade you ashamed of yourself。 Well；
he was a born fighter； went from Harvard into the Rebellion and was left for
dead at Seven Oaks； where one of the company found him and saved him。 He set
that may up for life； and never talked about it； either。 See what he wrote on
the bottom'To my friend； Claude Ditmar； Stephen Chippering。' And believe me；
when he once called a man a friend he never took it back。 I know one thing；
I'll never get another friend like him。〃
With a gesture that gave her a new insight into Ditmar； reverently he took the
picture from her hand and placed it back in the drawer。 She was stirred；
almost to tears； and moved away from him a little； as though to lessen by
distance the sudden attraction he had begun to exert： yet she lingered； half
leaning； half sitting on the corner of the big desk； her head bent toward him；
her eyes filled with light。 She was wondering whether he could ever love a
woman as he loved this man of whom he had spoken； whether he could be as true
to a woman。 His own attitude seemed never to have been more impersonal； but
she had ceased to resent it； something within her whispered that she was the
conductor； the inspirer。。 。。
〃I wish Stephen Chippering could have lived to see this order；〃 he exclaimed；
〃to see the Chippering Mill to…day！ I guess he'd be proud of it； I guess he
wouldn't regret having put me in as agent。〃
Janet did not reply。 She could not。 She sat regarding him intently； and when
he raised his eyes and caught her luminous glance； his expression changed； she
knew Stephen Chippering had passed from his mind。
〃I hope you like it here；〃 he said。 His voice had become vibrant；
ingratiating； he had changed from the master to the suppliantand yet she was
not displeased。 Power had suddenly flowed back into her； and with it an
exhilarating self…command。
〃I do like it；〃 she answered。
〃But you said； when I asked you to be my stenographer； that you didn't care for
your work。〃
〃Oh； this is different。〃
〃How？〃
〃I'm interested； the mill means something to me now you see； I'm not just
copying things I don't know anything about。〃
〃I'm glad you're interested；〃 he said； in the same odd； awkward tone。 〃I've
never had any one in the office who did my work as well。 Now Miss Ottway was a
good stenographer； she was capable； and a fine woman； but she never got the
idea； the spirit of the mill in her as you've got it； and she wasn't able to
save me trouble； as you do。 It's remarkable how you've come to understand； and
in such a short time。〃
Janet coloured。 She did not look at him； but had risen and begun to straighten
out the papers beside her。
〃There are lots of other things I'd like to understand；〃 she said。
〃What？〃 he demanded。
〃Wellabout the mill。 I never thought much about it before； I always hated
it；〃 she cried； dropping the papers and suddenly facing him。 〃It was just
drudgery。 But now I want to learn everything； all I can； I'd like to see the
machinery。〃
〃I'll take you through myselfto…morrow；〃 he declared。
His evident agitation made her pause。 They were alone； the outer office
deserted； and the Ditmar she saw now； whom she had summoned up with ridiculous
ease by virtue of that mysterious power within her； was no longer the agent of
the Chippering Mill； a boy filled with enthusiasm by a business achievement；
but a man； the incarnation and expression of masculine desire desire for her。
She knew she could compel him； if she chose； to throw caution to the winds。
〃Oh no！〃 she exclaimed。 She was afraid of him； she shrank from such a
conspicuous sign of his favour。
〃Why not？〃 he asked。
〃Because I don't want you to；〃 she said； and realized； as soon as she had
spoken； that her words might imply the existence of a something between them
never before hinted at by her。 〃I'll get Mr。 Caldwell to take me through。〃
She moved toward the door； and turned； though still on fire within； her manner
had become demure； repressed。 〃Did you wish anything more this evening？〃 she
inquired。
〃That's all；〃 he said； and she saw that he was gripping the arms of his
chair。。。。
CHAPTER VII
Autumn was at hand。 All day it had rained； but now； as night fell and Janet
went homeward； the white mist from the river was creeping stealthily over the
city； disguising the familiar and sordid landmarks。 These had become
beautiful； mysterious； somehow appealing。 The electric arcs； splotches in the
veil； revealed on the Common phantom trees； and in the distance； against the
blurred lights from the Warren Street stores skirting the park could be seen
phantom vehicles； phantom people moving to and fro。 Thus； it seemed to Janet；
invaded by a pearly mist was her own soul； in which she walked in wonder；a
mist shot through and through with soft； exhilarating lights half disclosing
yet transforming and etherealizing certain landmark's there on which； formerly；
she had not cared to gaze。 She was thinking of Ditmar as she had left him
gripping his chair； as he had dismissed her for the day； curtly； almost
savagely。 She had wounded and repelled him； and lingering in her was that
exquisite touch of feara fear now not so much inspired by Ditmar as by the
semi…acknowledged recognition of certain tendencies and capacities within
herself。 Yet she rejoiced in them； she was glad she had hurt Ditmar； she would
hurt him again。 Still palpitating； she reached the house in Fillmore Street；
halting a moment with her hand on the door； knowing her face was flushed；
anxious lest her mother or Lise might notice something unusual in her manner。
But； when she had slowly mounted the stairs and lighted the gas in the bedroom
the sight of her sister's clothes cast over the chairs was proof that Lise had
already donned her evening finery and departed。 The room was filled with the
stale smell of clothes； which Janet detested。 She flung open the windows。 She
took off her hat and swiftly tidied herself； yet the relief she felt at Lise's
absence was modified by a sudden； vehement protest against sordidness。 Why
should she not live by herself amidst clean and tidy surroundings？ She had
begun to earn enough； and somehow a vista had been opened upa vista whose end
she could not see； alluring； enticing。。。。 In the dining…room； by the cleared
table； her father was reading the Banner； her mother appeared in the kitchen
door。
〃What in the world happened to you； Janet？〃 she exclaimed。
〃Nothing；〃 said Janet。 〃Mr。 Ditmar asked me to staythat was all。 He'd been
away。〃
〃I was worried； I was going to make your father go down to the mill。 I've
saved you some supper。〃
〃I don't want much；〃 Janet told her； 〃I'm not hungry。〃
〃I guess you have to work too hard in that new place；〃 said Hannah； as she
brought in the filled plate from the oven。
〃Well； it seems to agree with her； mother；〃 declared Edward； who could always
be counted on to say the wrong thing with the best of intentions。 〃I never saw
her looking as wellwhy； I swan； she's getting real pretty！〃
Hannah darted at him a glance； but restrained herself； and Janet reddened as
she tried to eat the beans placed before her。 The pork had browned and
hardened at the edges； the gravy had spread； a crust covered the potatoes。
When her father resumed his reading of the Banner and her mother went back into
the kitchen she began to speculate rather resentfully and yet excitedly why it
was that this adventure with a man； with Ditmar； made her look better； feel
better；more alive。 She was too honest to disguise from herself that it was
an adventure； a high one； fraught with all sorts of possibilities； dangers； and
delights。 Her promotion had been merely incidental。 Both her mother and
father； did they know the true circumstances；that Mr。 Ditmar desired her； was
perhaps in love with herwould be disturbed。 Undoubtedly they would have
believed that she could 〃take care〃 of herself。 She knew that matters could
not go on as they were； that she would either have to leave Mr。 Ditmar orand
here she baulked at being logical。 She had no intention of leaving him： to
remain； according to the notions of her
