the dwelling place of ligh-第19章
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the empty office； to perceive her bag lying on the desk where she had left it；
and sat down for a few minutes beside the window； her heart pounding in her
breast as though she had barely escaped an accident threatening her with
physical annihilation。 Something had happened to her at last！ But what did it
mean？ Where would it lead？ Her fear； her antagonism； of which she was still
conscious； her resentment that Ditmar had thus surreptitiously chosen to
approach her in a moment when they were unobserved were mingled with a
throbbing exultation in that he had noticed her； that there was something in
her to attract him in that way； to make his voice thicker and his smile
apologetic when he spoke to her。 Of that 〃something…in…her〃 she had been aware
before； but never had it been so unmistakably recognized and beckoned to from
without。 She was at once terrified； excitedand flattered。
At length； growing calmer； she made her way out of the building。 When she
reached the vestibule she had a moment of sharp apprehension； of paradoxical
hope； that Ditmar might still be there； awaiting her。 But he had gone。。。。
In spite of her efforts to dismiss the matter from her mind； to persuade
herself there had been no significance in the encounter； when she was seated at
her typewriter the next morning she experienced a renewal of the palpitation of
the evening before； and at the sound of every step in the corridor she started。
Of this tendency she was profoundly ashamed。 And when at last Ditmar arrived；
though the blood rose to her temples； she kept her eyes fixed on the keys。 He
went quickly into his room： she was convinced he had not so much as glanced at
her。。。。 As the days went by； however； she was annoyed by the discovery that
his continued ignoring of her presence brought more resentment than relief； she
detected in it a deliberation implying between them a guilty secret： she hated
secrecy； though secrecy contained a thrill。 Then； one morning when she was
alone in the office with young Caldwell； who was absorbed in some reports；
Ditmar entered unexpectedly and looked her full in the eyes； surprising her
into answering his glance before she could turn away； hating herself and hating
him。 Hate； she determined； was her prevailing sentiment in regard to Mr。
Ditmar。
The following Monday Miss Ottway overtook her； at noon； on the stairs。
〃Janet； I wanted to speak to you； to tell you I'm leaving；〃 she said。
〃Leaving！〃 repeated Janet； who had regarded Miss Ottway as a fixture。
〃I'm going to Boston；〃 Miss Ottway explained； in her deep； musical voice。
〃I've always wanted to go； I have an unmarried sister there of whom I'm very
fond； and Mr。 Ditmar knows that。 He's got me a place with the Treasurer； Mr。
Semple。〃
〃Oh； I'm sorry you're going； though of course I'm glad for you；〃 Janet said
sincerely； for she liked and respected Miss Ottway； and was conscious in the
older woman of a certain kindly interest。
〃Janet； I've recommended you to Mr。 Ditmar for my place。〃
〃Oh！〃 cried Janet； faintly。
〃It was he who asked about you； he thinks you are reliable and quick and
clever； and I was very glad to say a good word for you； my dear； since I could
honestly do so。〃 Miss Ottway drew Janet's arm through hers and patted it
affectionately。 〃Of course you'll have to expect some jealousy； there are
older women in the other offices who will think they ought to have the place；
but if you attend to your own affairs； as you always have done； there won't be
any trouble。〃
〃Oh； I won't take the place； I can't！〃Janet cried； so passionately that Miss
Ottway looked at her in surprise。 〃I'm awfully grateful to you；〃 she added；
flushing crimson； 〃II'm afraid I'm not equal to it。〃
〃Nonsense；〃 said the other with decision。 〃You'd be very foolish not to try
it。 You won't get as much as I do； at first； at any rate； but a little more
money won't be unwelcome； I guess。 Mr。 Ditmar will speak to you this
afternoon。 I leave on Saturday。 I'm real glad to do you a good turn； Janet；
and I know you'll get along；〃 Miss Ottway added impulsively as they parted at
the corner of Faber Street。 〃I've always thought a good deal of you。〃
For awhile Janet stood still； staring after the sturdy figure of her friend；
heedless of the noonday crowd that bumped her。 Then she went to Grady's Quick
Lunch Counter and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk； which she consumed
slowly； profoundly sunk in thought。 Presently Eda Rawle arrived； and noticing
her preoccupation； inquired what was the matter。
〃Nothing；〃 said Janet。。。。
At two o'clock； when Ditmar returned to the office； he called Miss Ottway； who
presently came out to summon Janet to his presence。 Fresh； immaculate； yet
virile in his light suit and silk shirt with red stripes； he was seated at his
desk engaged in turning over some papers in a drawer。 He kept her waiting a
moment； and then said； with apparent casualness：
〃Is that you； Miss Bumpus？ Would you mind closing the door？〃
Janet obeyed； and again stood before him。 He looked up。 A suggestion of
tenseness in her pose betraying an inner attitude of alertness； of defiance；
conveyed to him sharply and deliciously once more the panther…like impression
he had received when first； as a woman； she had come to his notice。 The
renewed and heightened perception of this feral quality in her aroused a sense
of danger by no means unpleasurable； though warning him that he was about to
take an unprecedented step； being drawn beyond the limits of caution he had
previously set for himself in divorcing business and sex。 Though he was by no
means self…convinced of an intention to push the adventure； preferring to leave
its possibilities open； he strove in voice and manner to be business…like； and
instinct； perhaps； whispered that she might take alarm。
〃Sit down； Miss Bumpus；〃 he said pleasantly； as he closed the drawer。
She seated herself on an office chair。
〃Do you like your work here？〃 he inquired。
〃No；〃 said Janet。
〃Why not？〃 he demanded； staring at her。
〃Why should I？〃 she retorted。
〃Wellwhat's the trouble with it？ It isn't as hard as it would be in some
other places； is it？〃
〃I'm not saying anything against the place。〃
〃What； then？〃
〃You asked me if I liked my work。 I don't。〃
〃Then why do you do it？〃 he demanded。
〃To live；〃 she replied。
He smiled； but his gesture as he stroked his moustache implied a slight
annoyance at her composure。 He found it difficult with this dark； self…
contained young woman to sustain the role of benefactor。
〃What kind of work would you like to do？〃 he demanded。
〃I don't know。 I haven't got the choice； anyway；〃 she said。
He observed that she did her work well； to which she made no answer。 She
refused to help him； although Miss Ottway must have warned her。 She acted as
though she were conferring the favour。 And yet； clearing his throat； he was
impelled to say：
〃Miss Ottway's leaving me； she's going into the Boston office with Mr。 Semple；
the treasurer of the corporation。 I shall miss her； she's an able and reliable
woman； and she knows my ways。〃 He paused； fingering his paper knife。 〃The
fact is； Miss Bumpus； she's spoken highly of you； she tells me you're quick and
accurate and painstakingI've noticed that for myself。 She seems to think you
could do her work； and recommends that I give you a trial。 You understand； of
course； that the position is in a way confidential； and that you could not
expect at first； at any rate； the salary Miss Ottway has had； but I'm willing
to offer you fourteen dollars a week to begin with； and afterwards； if we get
along together； to give you more。 What do you say？〃
〃I'd like to try it； Mr。 Ditmar；〃 Janet said； and added nothing； no word of
gratitude or of appreciation to that consent。
〃Very well then；〃 he replied； 〃that's settled。 Miss Ottway will explain things
to you； and tell you about my peculiarities。 And when she goes you can take
her desk； by the window nearest my door。〃
Ditmar sat idle for some minutes after she had gone； staring through the open
doorway into the outer office。。。。
To Ditmar she had given no evidence of th
