short stories and essays-第32章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


rooms　will　hold　everything；　and　there　is　sometimes　a　fierce　satisfaction
in　seeing　how　closely　the　things　that　once　stood　largely　about；　and
seemed　to　fill　ample　parlors　and　chambers；　can　be　packed　away。　　To　be
sure　they　are　not　in　their　familiar　attitudes；　they　lie　on　their　sides　or
backs；　or　stand　upon　their　heads；　between　the　legs　of　library　or　dining
tables　are　stuffed　all　kinds　of　minor　movables；　with　cushions；　pillows；
pictures；　cunningly　adjusted　to　the　environment；　and　mattresses　pad　the
walls；　or　interpose　their　soft　bulk　between　pieces　of　furniture　that
would　otherwise　rend　each　other。　　Carpets　sewn　in　cotton　against　moths；
and　rugs　in　long　rolls；　the　piano　hovering　under　its　ample　frame　a　whole
brood　of　helpless　little　guitars；　mandolins；　and　banjos；　and　3supporting
on　its　broad　back　a　bulk　of　lighter　cases　to　the　fire…proof　ceiling　of
the　cell；　paintings　in　boxes　indistinguishable　outwardly　from　their
companioning　mirrors；　barrels　of　china　and　kitchen　utensils；　and　all　the
what…not　of　householding　and　house…keeping　contribute　to　the　repletion。

There　is　a　science　observed　in　the　arrangement　of　the　various　effects；
against　the　rear　wall　and　packed　along　the　floor；　and　then　in　front　of
and　on　top　of　these；　is　built　a　superstructure　of　the　things　that　may　be
first　wanted；　in　case　of　removal；　or　oftenest　wanted　in　some　exigency　of
the　homeless　life　of　the　owners；　pending　removal。　　The　lightest　and
slightest　articles　float　loosely　about　the　door；　or　are　interwoven　in　a
kind　of　fabric　just　within；　and　curtaining　the　ponderous　mass　behind。
The　effect　is　not　so　artistic　as　the　mortuary　mosaics　which　the　Roman
Capuchins　design　with　the　bones　of　their　dead　brethren　in　the　crypt　of
their　church；　but　the　warehousemen　no　doubt　have　their　just　pride　in　it；
and　feel　an　artistic　pang　in　its　provisional　or　final　disturbance。

It　had　better　never　be　disturbed；　for　it　is　disturbed　only　in　some　futile
dream　of　returning　to　the　past；　and　we　never　can　return　to　the　past　on
the　old　terms。　　It　is　well　in　all　things　to　accept　life　implicitly；　and
when　an　end　has　come　to　treat　it　as　the　end；　and　not　vainly　mock　it　as　a
suspense　of　function。　　When　the　poor　break　up　their　homes；　with　no
immediate　hope　of　founding　others；　they　must　sell　their　belongings
because　they　cannot　afford　to　pay　storage　on　them。　　The　rich　or　richer
store　their　household　effects；　and　cheat　themselves　with　the　illusion
that　they　are　going　some　time　to　rehabilitate　with　them　just　such　a　home
as　they　have　dismantled。　　But　the　illusion　probably　deceives　nobody　so
little　as　those　who　cherish　the　vain　hope。　　As　long　as　they　cherish　it；
howeverand　they　must　cherish　it　till　their　furniture　or　themselves　fall
to　dustthey　cannot　begin　life　anew；　as　the　poor　do　who　have　kept
nothing　of　the　sort　to　link　them　to　the　past。　　This　is　one　of　the
disabilities　of　the　prosperous；　who　will　probably　not　be　relieved　of　it
till　some　means　of　storing　the　owner　as　well　as　the'　furniture　is
invented。　　In　the　immense　range　of　modern　ingenuity；　this　is　perhaps　not
impossible。　　Why　not；　while　we　are　still　in　life；　some　sweet　oblivious
antidote　which　shall　drug　us　against　memory；　and　after　time　shall　elapse
for　the　reconstruction　of　a　new　home　in　place　of　the　old；　shall　repossess
us　of　ourselves　as　unchanged　as　the　things　with　which　we　shall　again
array　it？　　Here　is　a　pretty　idea　for　some　dreamer　to　spin　into　the　filmy
fabric　of　a　romance；　and　I　handsomely　make　a　present　of　it　to　the　first
comer。　　If　the　dreamer　is　of　the　right　quality　he　will　know　how　to　make
the　reader　feel　that　with　the　universal　longing　to　return　to　former
conditions　or　circumstances　it　must　always　be　a　mistake　to　do　so；　and　he
will　subtly　insinuate　the　disappointment　and　discomfort　of　the　stored
personality　in　resuming　its　old　relations。　　With　that　just　mixture　of　the
comic　and　pathetic　which　we　desire　in　romance；　he　will　teach　convincingly
that　a　stored　personality　is　to　be　desired　only　if　it　is　permanently
stored；　with　the　implication　of　a　like　finality　in　the　storage　of　its
belongings。

Save　in　some　signal　exception；　a　thing　taken　out　of　storage　cannot　be
established　in　its　former　function　without　a　sense　of　its　comparative
inadequacy。　　It　stands　in　the　old　place；　it　serves　the　old　use；　and　yet
a　new　thing　would　be　better；　it　would　even　in　some　subtle　wise　be　more
appropriate；　if　I　may　indulge　so　audacious　a　paradox；　for　the　time　is
new；　and　so　will　be　all　the　subconscious　keeping　in　which　our　lives　are
mainly　passed。　　We　are　supposed　to　have　associations　with　the　old　things
which　render　them　precious；　but　do　not　the　associations　rather　render
them　painful？　　If　that　is　true　of　the　inanimate　things；　how　much　truer　it
is　of　those　personalities　which　once　environed　and　furnished　our　lives！
Take　the　article　of　old　friends；　for　instance：　has　it　ever　happened　to
the　reader　to　witness　the　encounter　of　old　friends　after　the　lapse　of
years？　　Such　a　meeting　is　conventionally　imagined　to　be　full　of　tender
joy；　a　rapture　that　vents　itself　in　manly　tears；　perhaps；　and　certainly
in　womanly　tears。　　But　really　is　it　any　such　emotion？　　Honestly　is　not　it
a　cruel　embarrassment；　which　all　the　hypocritical　pretences　cannot　hide？
The　old　friends　smile　and　laugh；　and　babble　incoherently　at　one　another；
but　are　they　genuinely　glad？　　Is　not　each　wishing　the　other　at　that　end
of　the　earth　from　which　he　came？　　Have　they　any　use　for　each　other　such
as　people　of　unbroken　associations　have？

I　have　lately　been　privy　to　the　reunion　of　two　old　comrades　who　are　bound
together　more　closely　than　most　men　in　a　community　of　interests；
occupations；　and　ideals。　　During　a　long　separation　they　had　kept　account
of　each　other's　opinions　as　well　as　experiences；　they　had　exchanged
letters；　from　time　to　time；　in　which　they　opened　their　minds　fully　to
each　other；　and　found　themselves　constantly　in　accord。　　When　they　met
they　made　a　great　shouting；　and　each　pretended　that　he　found　the　other
just　what　he　used　to　be。　　They　talked　a　long；　long　time；　fighting　the
invisible　enemy　which　they　felt　between　them。　　The　enemy　was　habit；　the
habit　of　other　minds　and　hearts；　the　daily　use　of　persons　and　things
which　in　their　separation　they　had　not　had　in　common。　　When　the　old
friends　parted　they　promised　to　meet　every　day；　and　now；　since　their
lines　had　been　cast　in　the　same　places　again；　to　repair　the　ravage　of　the
envious　years；　and　become　again　to　each　other　all　that　they　had　ever
been。　　But　though　they　live　in　the　same　town；　and　often　dine　at　the　same
table；　and　belong　to　the　same　club；　yet　they　have　not　grown　together
again。　　They　have　grown　more　and　more　apart；　and　are　uneasy　in　each
other's　presence；　tacitly　self…reproachful　for　the　same　effect　which
neither　of　them　could　avert　or　repair。　　They　had　been　respectively　in
storage；　and　each；　in　taking　the　other　out；　has　experienced　in　him　the
unfitness　which　grows　upon　the　things　put　away　for　a　time　and　reinstated
in　a　former　function。




III。

I　have　not　touched　upon　these　facts　of　life；　without　the　purpose　of
finding　some　way　out　of　the　coil。　　There　seems　none　better　than　the
counsel　of　keeping　one's　face　set　well　forward；　and　one's　eyes　fixed
steadfastly　upon　the　future。　　This　is　the　hint　we　will　get　from　nature　if
we　will　heed　her；　and　note　how　she　never　recurs；　never　stores　or　takes
out　of　storage。　　Fancy　rehabilitating　one's　first　love：　how　nature　would
mock　at　that！　　We　cannot　go　back　and　be　the　men　and　women　we　were；　any
more　than　we　can　go　back　and　be　children。　　As　we　grow　older；　each　year's
change　in　us　is　more　chasmal　and　complete。　　There　is　no　elixir　whose
magic　will　recover　us　to　ourselves　as　we　were　last　year；　but　perhaps　we
shall　return　to　ourselves　more　and　more　in　the　times；　or　the　eternity；　to
come。　　Some　instinct　or　inspiration　implies　the　promise　of　this；　but　only
on　condition　that　we　shall　not　cling　to　the　life　that　has　been　ours；　and
hoard　its　mummified　image　in　our　hearts。　　We　must　not　seek　to　store
ourselves；　but　must　part　with　what　we　were　for　the　use　and　behoof　of
others；　as　the　poor　part　with　their　worldly　gear　when　they　move　from　one
place　to　another。　　It　is　a　curious　and　significant　pr