fraternity-第43章

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answered；　〃Don't　come　in！〃　because　she　knew　his　knock。　The　custom　gave；　in　fact；　the　measure　of　his　idealism。　　What　he　feared；　or　what　he　thought　he　feared；　after　nineteen　years　of　unchecked　entrance；　could　never　have　been　ascertained；　but　there　it　was；　that　flower　of　something　formal　and　precise；　of　something　reticent；　within　his　soul。

This　time；　for　once；　he　did　not　knock；　and　found　Cecilia　hooking　up　her　tea…gown　and　looking　very　sweet。　　She　glanced　at　him　with　mild　surprise。

〃What's　this；　Cis；〃　he　said；　〃about　a　baby　dead？　　Thyme's　quite　upset　about　it；　and　your　dad's　in　the　drawing…room！〃

With　the　quick　instinct　that　was　woven　into　all　her　gentle　treading；　Cecilia's　thoughts　flewshe　could　not　have　told　whyfirst　to　the　little　model；　then　to　Mrs。　Hughs。

〃Dead？〃　　she　said。　　〃Oh；　poor　woman！〃

〃What　woman？〃　　Stephen　asked。

〃It　must　be　Mrs。　Hughs。〃

The　thought　passed　darkly　through　Stephen's　mind：　'Those　people　again！　　What　now？'　　He　did　not　express　it；　being　neither　brutal　nor　lacking　in　good　taste。

A　short　silence　followed；　then　Cecilia　said　suddenly：　〃Did　you　say　that　father　was　in　the　drawing…room？　　There's　fillet　of　beef；　Stephen！〃

Stephen　turned　away。　　〃Go　and　see　Thyme！〃　he　said。

Outside　Thyme's　door　Cecilia　paused；　and；　hearing　no　sound；　tapped　gently。　　Her　knock　not　being　answered；　she　slipped　in。　　On　the　bed　of　that　white　room；　with　her　face　pressed　into　the　pillow；　her　little　daughter　lay。　　Cecilia　stood　aghast。　　Thyme's　whole　body　was　quivering　with　suppressed　sobs。

〃My　darling！〃　said　Cecilia；　〃what　is　it？〃

Thyme's　answer　was　inarticulate。

Cecilia　sat　down　on　the　bed　and　waited；　drawing　her　fingers　through　the　girl's　hair；　which　had　fallen　loose；　and　while　she　sat　there　she　experienced　all　that　sore；　strange　feelingas　of　being　skinned　which　comes　to　one　who　watches　the　emotion　of　someone　near　and　dear　without　knowing　the　exact　cause。

'This　is　dreadful；'　she　thought。　　'What　am　I　to　do？'

To　see　one's　child　cry　was　bad　enough；　but　to　see　her　cry　when　that　child's　whole　creed　of　honour　and　conduct　for　years　past　had　precluded　this　relief　as　unfeminine；　was　worse　than　disconcerting。

Thyme　raised　herself　on　her　elbow；　turning　her　face　carefully　away。

〃I　don't　know　what's　the　matter　with　me；〃　she　said；　choking。　　〃It's　it's　purely　physical〃

〃Yes；　darling；〃　murmured　Cecilia；　〃I　know。〃

〃Oh；　Mother！〃　said　Thyme　suddenly；　〃it　looked　so　tiny。〃

〃Yes；　yes；　my　sweet。〃

Thyme　faced　round；　there　was　a　sort　of　passion　in　her　darkened　eyes；　rimmed　pink　with　grief；　and　in　all　her　gushed；　wet　face。

〃Why　should　it　have　been　choked　out　like　that？　　It'sit's　so　brutal！〃

Cecilia　slid　an　arm　round　her。

〃I'm　so　distressed　you　saw　it；　dear；〃　she　said。

〃And　grandfather　was　so〃　　A　long　sobbing　quiver　choked　her　utterance。

〃Yes；　yes；〃　said　Cecilia；　〃I'm　sure　he　was。〃

Clasping　her　hands　together　in　her　lap；　Thyme　muttered：　〃He　called　him　'Little　brother。'〃

A　tear　trickled　down　Cecilia's　cheek；　and　dropped　on　her　daughter's　wrist。　　Feeling　that　it　was　not　her　own　tear；　Thyme　started　up。

〃It's　weak　and　ridiculous；〃　she　said。　　〃I　won't！〃

Oh；　go　away；　Mother；　please。　　I'm　only　making　you　feel　bad；　too。　You'd　better　go　and　see　to　grandfather。〃

Cecilia　saw　that　she　would　cry　no　more；　and　since　it　was　the　sight　of　tears　which　had　so　disturbed　her；　she　gave　the　girl　a　little　hesitating　stroke；　and　went　away。　　Outside　she　thought：　'How　dreadfully　unlucky　and　pathetic；　and　there's　father　in　the　drawing…　room！'　　Then　she　hurried　down　to　Mr。　Stone。

He　was　sitting　where　he　had　first　placed　himself；　motionless。　　It　struck　her　suddenly　how　frail　and　white　he　looked。　　In　the　shadowy　light　of　her　drawing…room；　he　was　almost　like　a　spirit　sitting　there　in　his　grey　tweedsilvery　from　head　to　foot。　　Her　conscience　smote　her。　　It　is　written　of　the　very　old　that　they　shall　pass；　by　virtue　of　their　long　travel；　out　of　the　country　of　the　understanding　of　the　young；　till　the　natural　affections　are　blurred　by　creeping　mists　such　as　steal　across　the　moors　when　the　sun　is　going　down。

Cecilia's　heart　ached　with　a　little　ache　for　all　the　times　she　had　thought：　'If　father　were　only　not　quite　so…'；　for　all　the　times　she　had　shunned　asking　him　to　come　to　them；　because　he　was　so…；　for　all　the　silences　she　and　Stephen　had　maintained　after　he　had　spoken；　for　all　the　little　smiles　she　had　smiled。　　She　longed　to　go　and　kiss　his　brow；　and　make　him　feel　that　she　was　aching。　　But　she　did　not　dare；　he　seemed　so　far　away；　it　would　be　ridiculous。

Coming　down　the　room；　and　putting　her　slim　foot　on　the　fender　with　a　noise；　so　that　if　possible　he　might　both　see　and　hear　her；　she　turned　her　anxious　face　towards　him；　and　said：　〃Father！〃

Mr。　Stone　looked　up；　and　seeing　somebody　who　seemed　to　be　his　elder　daughter；　answered　〃Yes；　my　dear？〃

〃Are　you　sure　you're　feeling　quite　the　thing？　　Thyme　said　she　thought　seeing　that　poor　baby　had　upset　you。〃

Mr。　Stone　felt　his　body　with　his　hand。

〃I　am　not　conscious　of　any　pain；〃　he　said。

〃Then　you'll　stay　to　dinner；　dear；　won't　you？〃

Mr。　Stone's　brow　contracted　as　though　he　were　trying　to　recall　his　past。

〃I　have　had　no　tea；〃　he　said。　　Then；　with　a　sudden；　anxious　look　at　his　daughter：　〃The　little　girl　has　not　come　to　me。　　I　miss　her。　Where　is　she？〃

The　ache　within　Cecilia　became　more　poignant。

〃It　is　now　two　days；〃　said　Mr。　Stone；　〃and　she　has　left　her　room　in　that　housein　that　street。〃

Cecilia；　at　her　wits'　end；　answered：　〃Do　you　really　miss　her；　Father？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Mr。　Stone。　　〃She　is　like〃　His　eyes　wandered　round　the　room　as　though　seeking　something　which　would　help　him　to　express　himself。　　They　fixed　themselves　on　the　far　wall。　　Cecilia；　following　their　gaze；　saw　a　little　solitary　patch　of　sunlight　dancing　and　trembling　there。　　It　had　escaped　the　screen　of　trees　and　houses；　and；　creeping　through　some　chink；　had　quivered　in。　　〃She　is　like　that；〃　said　Mr。　Stone；　pointing　with　his　finger。　　〃It　is　gone！〃　His　finger　dropped；　he　uttered　a　deep　sigh。

'How　dreadful　this　is！'　Cecilia　thought。　　'I　never　expected　him　to　feel　it；　and　yet　I　can　do　nothing！'　　Hastily　she　asked：　〃Would　it　do　if　you　had　Thyme　to　copy　for　you？　　I'm　sure　she'd　love　to　come。〃

〃She　is　my　grand…daughter；〃　Mr。　Stone　said　simply。　　〃It　would　not　be　the　same。〃

Cecilia　could　think　of　nothing　now　to　say　but：　〃Would　you　like　to　wash　your　hands；　dear？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Mr。　Stone。

〃Then　will　you　go　up　to　Stephen's　dressing…room　for　hot　water；　or　will　you　wash　them　in　the　lavatory？〃

〃In　the　lavatory；〃　said　Mr。　Stone。　　〃I　shall　be　freer　there。〃

When　he　had　gone　Cecilia　thought：　'Oh　dear；　how　shall　I　get　through　the　evening？　　Poor　darling；　he　is　so　single…minded！'

At　the　sounding　of　the　dinner…gong　they　all　assembledThyme　from　her　bedroom　with　cheeks　and　eyes　still　pink；　Stephen　with　veiled　inquiry　in　his　glance；　Mr。　Stone　from　freedom　in　the　lavatoryand　sat　down；　screened；　but　so　very　little；　from　each　other　by　sprays　of　white　lilac。　　Looking　round　her　table；　Cecilia　felt　rather　like　one　watching　a　dew…belled　cobweb；　most　delicate　of　all　things　in　the　world；　menaced　by　the　tongue　of　a　browsing　cow。

Both　soup　and　fish　had　been　achieved；　however；　before　a　word　was　spoken。　　It　was　Stephen　who；　after　taking　a　mouthful　of　dry　sherry；　broke　the　silence。

〃How　are　you　getting　on　with　your　book；　sir？〃

Cecilia　heard　that　question　with　something　like　dismay。　　It　was　so　bald；　for；　however　inconvenient　Mr。　Stone's　absorption　in　his　manuscript　might　be；　her　delicacy　told　her　how　precious　beyond　life　itself　that　book　was　to　him。　　To　her　relief；　however；　her　father　was　eating　spinach。

〃You　must　be　getting　near　the　end；　I　should　think；〃　proceeded　Stephen。

Cecilia　spoke　hastily：　〃Isn't　this　white　lilac　lovely；　Dad？〃

Mr。　Stone　looked　up。

〃It　is　not　white；　it　is　really　pink。　　The　test　is　simple。〃　　He　paused　with　his　eyes　fixed　on　the　lilac。

'Ah！'　thought　Cecilia；　'now；　if　I　can　only　keep　him　on　natural　science　he　used　to　be　so　interesting。'

〃All　flowers　are　one！〃　said　Mr。　Stone。　　His　voice　had　changed。

'Oh！'　thought　Cecilia；　'he　is　gone！'

〃They　have　but　a　single　soul。　　In　those　days　men　divided；　and　subdivided　them；　oblivious　of　the　one　pale　spirit