the hand of ethelberta-第49章

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great　admirer　of　the　poems；　and　more　still　of　the　story…telling
invention；　and　your　power　in　it。　　He　has　been　present　many　times　at
the　Mayfair　Hall　to　hear　you。　　When　will　you　dine　with　us　to　meet
him？　　I　know　you　will　like　him。　　Will　Thursday　be　convenient？'

Ethelberta　stood　for　a　moment　reflecting；　and　reflecting　hoped　that
Mrs。　Doncastle　had　not　noticed　her　momentary　perplexity。　　Crises
were　becoming　as　common　with　her　as　blackberries；　and　she　had
foreseen　this　one　a　long　time。　　It　was　not　that　she　was　to　meet　Lord
Mountclere；　for　he　was　only　a　name　and　a　distant　profile　to　her：　　it
was　that　her　father　would　necessarily　be　present　at　the　meeting；　in
the　most　anomalous　position　that　human　nature　could　endure。

However；　having　often　proved　in　her　disjointed　experience　that　the
shortest　way　out　of　a　difficulty　lies　straight　through　it；
Ethelberta　decided　to　dine　at　the　Doncastles'；　and；　as　she　murmured
that　she　should　have　great　pleasure　in　meeting　any　friend　of　theirs；
set　about　contriving　how　the　encounter　with　her　dearest　relative
might　be　made　safe　and　unsuspected。　　She　bade　them　adieu　blithely；
but　the　thoughts　engendered　by　the　invitation　stood　before　her　as
sorrowful　and　rayless　ghosts　which　could　not　be　laid。　　Often　at　such
conjunctures　as　these；　when　the　futility　of　her　great　undertaking
was　more　than　usually　manifest；　did　Ethelberta　long　like　a　tired
child　for　the　conclusion　of　the　whole　matter；　when　her　work　should
be　over；　and　the　evening　come；　when　she　might　draw　her　boat　upon　the
shore；　and　in　some　thymy　nook　await　eternal　night　with　a　placid
mind。



28。　ETHELBERTA'S　…　MR。　CHICKEREL'S　ROOM

The　question　of　Neigh　or　no　Neigh　had　reached　a　pitch　of　insistence
which　no　longer　permitted　of　dallying；　even　by　a　popular　beauty。
His　character　was　becoming　defined　to　Ethelberta　as　something　very
differently　composed　from　that　of　her　first　imagining。　　She　had　set
him　down　to　be　a　man　whose　external　in　excitability　owed　nothing　to
self…repression；　but　stood　as　the　natural　surface　of　the　mass
within。　　Neigh's　urban　torpor；　she　said；　might　have　been　in　the
first　instance　produced　by　art；　but；　were　it　thus；　it　had　gone　so
far　as　to　permeate　him。　　This　had　been　disproved；　first
surprisingly；　by　his　reported　statement；　wondrously；　in　the　second
place；　by　his　call　upon　her　and　sudden　proposal；　thirdly；　to　a
degree　simply　astounding；　by　what　had　occurred　in　the　city　that　day。
For　Neigh；　before　the　fervour　had　subsided　which　was　produced　in　him
by　her　look　and　general　power　while　reading　'Paradise　Lost；'　found
himself　alone　with　her　in　a　nook　outside　the　church；　and　there　had
almost　demanded　her　promise　to　be　his　wife。　　She　had　replied　by
asking　for　time；　and　idly　offering　him　the　petals　of　her　rose；　that
had　shed　themselves　in　her　hand。　　Neigh；　in　taking　them；　pressed　her
fingers　more　warmly　than　she　thought　she　had　given　him　warrant　for；
which　offended　her。　　It　was　certainly　a　very　momentary　affair；　and
when　it　was　over　seemed　to　surprise　himself　almost　as　much　as　it　had
vexed　her；　but　it　had　reminded　her　of　one　truth　which　she　was　in
danger　of　forgetting。　　The　town　gentleman　was　not　half　so　far
removed　from　Sol　and　Dan；　and　the　hard…handed　order　in　general；　in
his　passions　as　in　his　philosophy。　　He　still　continued　to　be　the
male　of　his　species；　and　when　the　heart　was　hot　with　a　dream　Pall
Mall　had　much　the　same　aspect　as　Wessex。

Well；　she　had　not　accepted　him　yet；　indeed；　for　the　moment　they　were
in　a　pet　with　one　another。　　Yet　that　might　soon　be　cleared　off；　and
then　recurred　the　perpetual　question；　would　the　advantage　that　might
accrue　to　her　people　by　her　marriage　be　worth　the　sacrifice？　　One
palliative　feature　must　be　remembered　when　we　survey　the　matrimonial
ponderings　of　the　poetess　and　romancer。　　What　she　contemplated　was
not　meanly　to　ensnare　a　husband　just　to　provide　incomes　for　her　and
her　family；　but　to　find　some　man　she　might　respect；　who　would
maintain　her　in　such　a　stage　of　comfort　as　should；　by　setting　her
mind　free　from　temporal　anxiety；　enable　her　to　further　organize　her
talent；　and　provide　incomes　for　them　herself。　　Plenty　of　saleable
originality　was　left　in　her　as　yet；　but　it　was　getting　crushed　under
the　rubbish　of　her　necessities。

She　was　not　sure　that　Neigh　would　stand　the　test　of　her　revelations。
It　would　be　possible　to　lead　him　to　marry　her　without　revealing
anythingthe　events　of　the　last　few　days　had　shown　her　thatyet
Ethelberta's　honesty　shrank　from　the　safe　course　of　holding　her
tongue。　　It　might　be　pleasant　to　many　a　modern　gentleman　to　find
himself　allied　with　a　lady；　none　of　whose　ancestors　had　ever
pandered　to　a　court；　lost　an　army；　taken　a　bribe；　oppressed　a
community；　or　broken　a　bank；　but　the　added　disclosure　that；　in
avoiding　these　stains；　her　kindred　had　worked　and　continued　to　work
with　their　hands　for　bread；　might　lead　such　an　one　to　consider　that
the　novelty　was　dearly　purchased。

Ethelberta　was；　upon　the　whole；　dissatisfied　with　her　progress　thus
far。　　She　had　planned　many　things　and　fulfilled　few。　　Had　her　father
been　by　this　time　provided　for　and　made　independent　of　the　world；　as
she　had　thought　he　might　be；　not　only　would　her　course　with　regard
to　Neigh　be　quite　clear；　but　the　impending　awkwardness　of　dining
with　her　father　behind　her　chair　could　not　have　occurred。　　True；
that　was　a　small　matter　beside　her　regret　for　his　own　sake　that　he
was　still　in　harness；　and　a　mere　change　of　occupation　would　be　but　a
tribute　to　a　fastidiousness　which　he　did　not　himself　share。　　She　had
frequently　tried　to　think　of　a　vocation　for　him　that　would　have　a
more　dignified　sound；　and　be　less　dangerously　close　to　her　own　path：
the　post　of　care…taker　at　some　provincial　library；　country
stationer；　registrar　of　births　and　deaths；　and　many　others　had　been
discussed　and　dismissed　in　face　of　the　unmanageable　fact　that　her
father　was　serenely　happy　and　comfortable　as　a　butler；　looking　with
dread　at　any　hint　of　change　short　of　perfect　retirement。　　Since；
then；　she　could　not　offer　him　this　retirement；　what　right　had　she　to
interfere　with　his　mode　of　life　at　all？　　In　no　other　social　groove
on　earth　would　he　thrive　as　he　throve　in　his　present　one；　to　which
he　had　been　accustomed　from　boyhood；　and　where　the　remuneration　was
actually　greater　than　in　professions　ten　times　as　stately　in　name。

For　the　rest；　too；　Ethelberta　had　indulged　in　hopes；　the　high
education　of　the　younger　ones　being　the　chief　of　these　darling
wishes。　　Picotee　wanted　looking　to　badly　enough。　　Sol　and　Dan
required　no　material　help；　they　had　quickly　obtained　good　places　of
work　under　a　Pimlico　builder；　for　though　the　brothers　scarcely
showed　as　yet　the　light…fingered　deftness　of　London　artizans；　the
want　was　in　a　measure　compensated　by　their　painstaking；　and
employers　are　far　from　despising　country　hands　who　bring　with　them
strength；　industry；　and　a　desire　to　please。　　But　their　sister　had
other　lines　laid　down　for　them　than　those　of　level　progress；　to
start　them　some　day　as　masters　instead　of　men　was　a　long…cherished
wish　of　Ethelberta's。

Thus　she　had　quite　enough　machinery　in　her　hands　to　keep　decently
going；　even　were　she　to　marry　a　man　who　would　take　a　kindly　view　of
her　peculiar　situation；　and　afford　her　opportunities　of
strengthening　her　powers　for　her　kindred's　good。　　But　what　would　be
the　result　if；　eighteen　months　hencethe　date　at　which　her
occupation　of　the　house　in　Exonbury　Crescent　came　to　an　endshe
were　still　a　widow；　with　no　accumulated　capital；　her　platform
talents　grown　homely　and　stunted　through　narrow　living；　and　her
tender　vein　of　poesy　completely　dispersed　by　it？　　To　calmly
relinquish　the　struggle　at　that　point　would　have　been　the　act　of　a
stoic；　but　not　of　a　woman；　particularly　when　she　considered　the
children；　the　hopes　of　her　mother　for　them；　and　her　own　condition
though　this　was　leastunder　the　ironical　cheers　which　would　greet　a
slip　back　into　the　mire。

It　here　becomes　necessary　to　turn　for　a　moment　to　Master　Joey
Chickerel；　Ethelberta's　troublesome　page　and　brother。　　The　face　of
this　juvenile　was　that　of　a　Graeco…Roman　satyr　to　the　furthest
degree　of　completeness。　　Viewed　in　front；　the　outer　l