the hand of ethelberta-第46章

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'We　know　each　other　far　better　than　we　may　think　at　first；'　said
Neigh。　　'We　are　not　people　to　love　in　a　hurry；　and　I　have　not　done
so　in　this　case。　　As　for　worldly　circumstances；　the　most　important
items　in　a　marriage　contract　are　the　persons　themselves；　and；　as　far
as　I　am　concerned；　if　I　get　a　lady　fair　and　wise　I　care　for　nothing
further。　　I　know　you　are　beautiful；　for　all　London　owns　it；　I　know
you　are　talented；　for　I　have　read　your　poetry　and　heard　your
romances；　and　I　know　you　are　politic　and　discreet'

'For　I　have　examined　your　property；'　said　she；　with　a　weak　smile。

Neigh　bowed。　　'And　what　more　can　I　wish　to　know？　　Come；　shall　it
be？'

'Certainly　not　to…morrow。'

'I　would　be　entirely　in　your　hands　in　that　matter。　　I　will　not　urge
you　to　be　precipitateI　could　not　expect　you　to　be　ready　yet。　　My
suddenness　perhaps　offended　you；　but；　having　thought　deeply　of　this
bright　possibility；　I　was　apt　to　forget　the　forbearance　that　one
ought　to　show　at　first　in　mentioning　it。　　If　I　have　done　wrong
forgive　me。'

'I　will　think　of　that；'　said　Ethelberta；　with　a　cooler　manner。　　'But
seriously；　all　these　words　are　nothing　to　the　purpose。　　I　must
remark　that　I　prize　your　friendship；　but　it　is　not　for　me　to　marry
now。　　You　have　convinced　me　of　your　goodness　of　heart　and　freedom
from　unworthy　suspicions；　let　that　be　enough。　　The　best　way　in　which
I　in　my　turn　can　convince　you　of　my　goodness　of　heart　is　by　asking
you　to　see　me　in　private　no　more。'

'And　do　you　refuse　to　think　of　me　as。　　Why　do　you　treat　me　like
that；　after　all？'　said　Neigh；　surprised　at　this　want　of　harmony　with
his　principle　that　one　convert　to　matrimony　could　always　find　a
second　ready…made。

'I　cannot　explain；　I　cannot　explain；'　said　she；　impatiently。　　'I
would　and　I　would　notexplain　I　mean；　not　marry。　　I　don't　love
anybody；　and　I　have　no　heart　left　for　beginning。　　It　is　only　honest
in　me　to　tell　you　that　I　am　interested　in　watching　another　man's
career；　though　that　is　not　to　the　point　either；　for　no　close
relationship　with　him　is　contemplated。　　But　I　do　not　wish　to　speak
of　this　any　more。　　Do　not　press　me　to　it。'

'Certainly　I　will　not；'　said　Neigh；　seeing　that　she　was　distressed
and　sorrowful。　　'But　do　consider　me　and　my　wishes；　I　have　a　right　to
ask　it　for　it　is　only　asking　a　continuance　of　what　you　have　already
begun　to　do。　　To…morrow　I　believe　I　shall　have　the　happiness　of
seeing　you　again。'

She　did　not　say　no；　and　long　after　the　door　had　closed　upon　him　she
remained　fixed　in　thought。　　'How　can　he　be　blamed　for　his　manner；'
she　said；　'after　knowing　what　I　did！'

Ethelberta　as　she　sat　felt　herself　much　less　a　Petherwin　than　a
Chickerel；　much　less　a　poetess　richly　freighted　with　fancy　than　an
adventuress　with　a　nebulous　prospect。　　Neigh　was　one　of　the　few　men
whose　presence　seemed　to　attenuate　her　dignity　in　some　mysterious
way　to　its　very　least　proportions；　and　that　act　of　espial；　which　had
so　quickly　and　inexplicably　come　to　his　knowledge；　helped　his
influence　still　more。　　She　knew　little　of　the　nature　of　the　town
bachelor；　there　were　opaque　depths　in　him　which　her　thoughts　had
never　definitely　plumbed。　　Notwithstanding　her　exaltation　to　the
atmosphere　of　the　Petherwin　family；　Ethelberta　was　very　far　from
having　the　thoroughbred　London　woman's　knowledge　of　sets；　grades；
coteries；　cliques；　forms；　glosses；　and　niceties；　particularly　on　the
masculine　side。　　Setting　the　years　from　her　infancy　to　her　first
look　into　town　against　those　linking　that　epoch　with　the　present；
the　former　period　covered　not　only　the　greater　time；　but　contained
the　mass　of　her　most　vivid　impressions　of　life　and　its　ways。　　But　in
recognizing　her　ignorance　of　the　ratio　between　words　to　women　and
deeds　to　women　in　the　ethical　code　of　the　bachelor　of　the　club；　she
forgot　that　human　nature　in　the　gross　differs　little　with　situation；
and　that　a　gift　which；　if　the　germs　were　lacking；　no　amount　of
training　in　clubs　and　coteries　could　supply；　was　mother…wit　like　her
own。



27。　MRS。　BELMAINE'S　…　CRIPPLEGATE　CHURCH

Neigh's　remark　that　he　believed　he　should　see　Ethelberta　again　the
next　day　referred　to　a　contemplated　pilgrimage　of　an　unusual　sort
which　had　been　arranged　for　that　day　by　Mrs。　Belmaine　upon　the
ground　of　an　incidental　suggestion　of　Ethelberta's。　　One　afternoon
in　the　week　previous　they　had　been　chatting　over　tea　at　the　house　of
the　former　lady；　Neigh　being　present　as　a　casual　caller；　when　the
conversation　was　directed　upon　Milton　by　somebody　opening　a　volume
of　the　poet's　works　that　lay　on　a　table　near。

　　　　　'Milton！　thou　shouldst　be　living　at　this　hour：
　　　　　　England　hath　need　of　thee'

said　Mrs。　Belmaine　with　the　degree　of　flippancy　which　is　considered
correct　for　immortal　verse；　the　Bible；　God；　etc。；　in　these　days。
And　Ethelberta　replied；　lit　up　by　a　quick　remembrance；　'It　is　a　good
time　to　talk　of　Milton；　for　I　have　been　much　impressed　by　reading
the　〃Life；〃　and　I　have　decided　to　go　and　see　his　tomb。　　Could　we　not
all　go？　　We　ought　to　quicken　our　memories　of　the　great；　and　of　where
they　lie；　by　such　a　visit　occasionally。'

'We　ought；'　said　Mrs。　Belmaine。

'And　why　shouldn't　we？'　continued　Ethelberta；　with　interest。

'To　Westminster　Abbey？'　said　Mr。　Belmaine；　a　common　man　of　thirty；
younger　than　his　wife；　who　had　lately　come　into　the　room。

'No；　to　where　he　lies　comparatively　aloneCripplegate　Church。'

'I　always　thought　that　Milton　was　buried　in　Poet's　Corner；'　said　Mr。
Belmaine。

'So　did　I；'　said　Neigh；　'but　I　have　such　an　indifferent　head　for
places　that　my　thinking　goes　for　nothing。'

'Well；　it　would　be　a　pretty　thing　to　do；'　said　Mrs。　Belmaine；　'and
instructive　to　all　of　us。　　If　Mrs。　Petherwin　would　like　to　go；　I
should。　　We　can　take　you　in　the　carriage　and　call　round　for　Mrs。
Doncastle　on　our　way；　and　set　you　both　down　again　coming　back。'

'That　would　be　excellent；'　said　Ethelberta。　　'There　is　nowhere　I
like　going　to　so　much　as　the　depths　of　the　city。　　The　absurd
narrowness　of　world…renowned　streets　is　so　surprisingso　crooked
and　shady　as　they　are　too；　and　full　of　the　quaint　smells　of　old
cupboards　and　cellars。　　Walking　through　one　of　them　reminds　me　of
being　at　the　bottom　of　some　crevasse　or　gorge；　the　proper　surface　of
the　globe　being　the　tops　of　the　houses。'

'You　will　come　to　take　care　of　us；　John？　　And　you；　Mr。　Neigh；　would
like　to　come？　　We　will　tell　Mr。　Ladywell　that　he　may　join　us　if　he
cares　to；'　said　Mrs。　Belmaine。

'O　yes；'　said　her　husband　quietly；　and　Neigh　said　he　should　like
nothing　better；　after　a　faint　aspect　of　apprehension　at　the
remoteness　of　the　idea　from　the　daily　track　of　his　thoughts。　　Mr。
Belmaine　observing　this；　and　mistaking　it　for　an　indication　that
Neigh　had　been　dragged　into　the　party　against　his　will　by　his　over…
hasty　wife；　arranged　that　Neigh　should　go　independently　and　meet
them　there　at　the　hour　named　if　he　chose　to　do　so；　to　give　him　an
opportunity　of　staying　away。　　Ethelberta　also　was　by　this　time
doubting　if　she　had　not　been　too　eager　with　her　proposal。　　To　go　on
such　a　sentimental　errand　might　be　thought　by　her　friends　to　be
simply　troublesome；　their　adherence　having　been　given　only　in　the
regular　course　of　complaisance。　　She　was　still　comparatively　an
outsider　here；　her　life　with　Lady　Petherwin　having　been　passed
chiefly　in　alternations　between　English　watering…places　and
continental　towns。　　However；　it　was　too　late　now　to　muse　on　this；
and　it　may　be　added　that　from　first　to　last　Ethelberta　never
discovered　from　the　Belmaines　whether　her　proposal　had　been　an
infliction　or　a　charm；　so　perfectly　were　they　practised　in
sustaining　that　complete　divorce　between　thinking　and　saying　which
is　the　hall…mark　of　high　civilization。

But；　however　she　might　doubt　the　Belmaines；　she　had　no　doubt　as　to
Neigh's　true　sentiments：　　the　time　had　come　when　he；　notwithstanding
his　air　of　being　oppressed　by　almost　every　lively　invention　of　town
and　country　for　charming　griefs　to　rest；　would　not　be　at　all
oppressed　by　a　quiet　visit　to　the　purlieus　of　St　Giles's；
Cripplegate；　since　she　was　the　originator；　and　was　going　herself。

It　was　a　bright　hope…inspiring　afternoon　in　this　mid…May　time　when
the　carriage　cont