the hand of ethelberta-第37章

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'Not　done　for　a　joke？　　Then　never　minddon't　cry；　Picotee。　　What
was　it　done　for；　I　wonder？'

Picotee；　mistaking　the　purport　of　his　inquiry；　imagined　him　to　refer
to　her　arrival　in　the　house；　quite　forgetting；　in　her　guilty　sense
of　having　come　on　his　account；　that　he　would　have　no　right　or
thought　of　asking　questions　about　a　natural　visit　to　a　sister；　and
she　said：　　'When　youwent　away　fromSandbourne；　III　didn't
know　what　to　do；　and　then　I　ran　away；　and　came　here；　and　then
Ethelbertawas　angry　with　me；　but　she　says　I　may　stay；　but　she
doesn't　know　that　I　know　you；　and　how　we　used　to　meet　along　the　road
every　morningand　I　am　afraid　to　tell　herO；　what　shall　I　do！'

'Never　mind　it；'　said　Christopher；　a　sense　of　the　true　state　of　her
case　dawning　upon　him　with　unpleasant　distinctness；　and　bringing
some　irritation　at　his　awkward　position；　though　it　was　impossible　to
be　long　angry　with　a　girl　who　had　not　reasoning　foresight　enough　to
perceive　that　doubtful　pleasure　and　certain　pain　must　be　the　result
of　any　meeting　whilst　hearts　were　at　cross　purposes　in　this　way。

'Where　is　your　sister？'　he　asked。

'She　wouldn't　come　down；　unless　she　MUST；'　said　Picotee。　　'You　have
vexed　her；　and　she　has　a　headache　besides　that；　and　I　came　instead。'

'So　that　I　mightn't　be　wasted　altogether。　　Well；　it's　a　strange
business　between　the　three　of　us。　　I　have　heard　of　one…sided　love；
and　reciprocal　love；　and　all　sorts；　but　this　is　my　first　experience
of　a　concatenated　affection。　　You　follow　me；　I　follow　Ethelberta；
and　she　followsHeaven　knows　who！'

'Mr。　Ladywell！'　said　the　mortified　Picotee。

'Good　God；　if　I　didn't　think　so！'　said　Christopher；　feeling　to　the
soles　of　his　feet　like　a　man　in　a　legitimate　drama。

'No；　no；　no！'　said　the　frightened　girl　hastily。　　'I　am　not　sure　it
is　Mr。　Ladywell。　　That's　altogether　a　mistake　of　mine！'

'Ah；　yes；　you　want　to　screen　her；'　said　Christopher；　with　a
withering　smile　at　the　spot　of　light。　　'Very　sisterly；　doubtless；
but　none　of　that　will　do　for　me。　　I　am　too　old　a　bird　by　farby
very　far！　　Now　are　you　sure　she　does　not　love　Ladywell？'

'Yes！'

'Well；　perhaps　I　blame　her　wrongly。　　She　may　have　some　little　good
faitha　woman　has；　here　and　there。　　How　do　you　know　she　does　not
love　Ladywell？'

'Because　she　would　prefer　Mr。　Neigh　to　him；　any　day。'

'Ha！'

'No；　noyou　mistake；　sirshe　doesn't　love　either　at　all
Ethelberta　doesn't。　　I　meant　that　she　cannot　love　Mr。　Ladywell
because　he　stands　lower　in　her　opinion　than　Mr。　Neigh；　and　him　she
certainly　does　not　care　for。　　She　only　loves　you。　　If　you　only　knew
how　true　she　is　you　wouldn't　be　so　suspicious　about　her；　and　I　wish
I　had　not　come　hereyes；　I　do！'

'I　cannot　tell　what　to　think　of　it。　　Perhaps　I　don't　know　much　of
this　world　after　all；　or　what　girls　will　do。　　But　you　don't　excuse
her　to　me；　Picotee。'

Before　this　time　Picotee　had　been　simulating　haste　in　getting　a
light；　but　in　her　dread　of　appearing　visibly　to　Christopher's　eyes；
and　showing　him　the　precise　condition　of　her　tear…stained　face；　she
put　it　off　moment　after　moment；　and　stirred　the　fire；　in　hope　that
the　faint　illumination　thus　produced　would　be　sufficient　to　save　her
from　the　charge　of　stupid　conduct　as　entertainer。

Fluttering　about　on　the　horns　of　this　dilemma；　she　was　greatly
relieved　when　Christopher；　who　read　her　difficulty；　and　the　general
painfulness　of　the　situation；　said　that　since　Ethelberta　was　really
suffering　from　a　headache　he　would　not　wish　to　disturb　her　till　to…
morrow；　and　went　off　downstairs　and　into　the　street　without　further
ceremony。

Meanwhile　other　things　had　happened　upstairs。　　No　sooner　had　Picotee
left　her　sister's　room；　than　Ethelberta　thought　it　would　after　all
have　been　much　better　if　she　had　gone　down　herself　to　speak　to　this
admirably　persistent　lover。　　Was　she　not　drifting　somewhat　into　the
character　of　coquette；　even　if　her　ground　of　offencea　word　of
Christopher's　about　somebody　else's　mean　parentage；　which　was　spoken
in　utter　forgetfulness　of　her　own　position；　but　had　wounded　her　to
the　quick　neverthelesswas　to　some　extent　a　tenable　one？　　She　knew
what　facilities　in　suffering　Christopher　always　showed；　how　a　touch
to　other　people　was　a　blow　to　him；　a　blow　to　them　his　deep　wound；
although　he　took　such　pains　to　look　stolid　and　unconcerned　under
those　inflictions；　and　tried　to　smile　as　if　he　had　no　feelings
whatever。　　It　would　be　more　generous　to　go　down　to　him；　and　be　kind。
She　jumped　up　with　that　alertness　which　comes　so　spontaneously　at
those　sweet　bright　times　when　desire　and　duty　run　hand　in　hand。

She　hastily　set　her　hair　and　dress　in　ordernot　such　matchless
order　as　she　could　have　wished　them　to　be　in；　but　time　was　precious…
…and　descended　the　stairs。　　When　on　the　point　of　pushing　open　the
drawing…room　door；　which　wanted　about　an　inch　of　being　closed；　she
was　astounded　to　discover　that　the　room　was　in　total　darkness；　and
still　more　to　hear　Picotee　sobbing　inside。　　To　retreat　again　was　the
only　action　she　was　capable　of　at　that　moment：　　the　clash　between
this　picture　and　the　anticipated　scene　of　Picotee　and　Christopher
sitting　in　frigid　propriety　at　opposite　sides　of　a　well…lighted　room
was　too　great。　　She　flitted　upstairs　again　with　the　least　possible
rustle；　and　flung　herself　down　on　the　couch　as　before；　panting　with
excitement　at　the　new　knowledge　that　had　come　to　her。

There　was　only　one　possible　construction　to　be　put　upon　this　in
Ethelberta's　rapid　mind；　and　that　approximated　to　the　true　one。　　She
had　known　for　some　time　that　Picotee　once　had　a　lover；　or　something
akin　to　it；　and　that　he　had　disappointed　her　in　a　way　which　had
never　been　told。　　No　stranger；　save　in　the　capacity　of　the　one
beloved；　could　wound　a　woman　sufficiently　to　make　her　weep；　and　it
followed　that　Christopher　was　the　man　of　Picotee's　choice。　　As
Ethelberta　recalled　the　conversations；　conclusion　after　conclusion
came　like　pulsations　in　an　aching　head。　　'O；　how　did　it　happen；　and
who　is　to　blame？'　she　exclaimed。　　'I　cannot　doubt　his　faith；　and　I
cannot　doubt　hers；　and　yet　how　can　I　keep　doubting　them　both？'

It　was　characteristic　of　Ethelberta's　jealous　motherly　guard　over
her　young　sisters　that；　amid　these　contending　inquiries；　her
foremost　feeling　was　less　one　of　hope　for　her　own　love　than　of
championship　for　Picotee's。



23。　ETHELBERTA'S　HOUSE　（continued）

Picotee　was　heard　on　the　stairs：　　Ethelberta　covered　her　face。

'Is　he　waiting？'　she　said　faintly；　on　finding　that　Picotee　did　not
begin　to　speak。

'No；　he　is　gone；'　said　Picotee。

'Ah；　why　is　that？'　came　quickly　from　under　the　handkerchief。　　'He
has　forgotten　methat's　what　it　is！'

'O　no；　he　has　not！'　said　Picotee；　just　as　bitterly。

Ethelberta　had　far　too　much　heroism　to　let　much　in　this　strain
escape　her；　though　her　sister　was　prepared　to　go　any　lengths　in　the
same。　　'I　suppose；'　continued　Ethelberta；　in　the　quiet　way　of　one
who　had　only　a　headache　the　matter　with　her；　'that　he　remembered　you
after　the　meeting　at　Anglebury？'

'Yes；　he　remembered　me。'

'Did　you　tell　me　you　had　seen　him　before　that　time？'

'I　had　seen　him　at　Sandbourne。　　I　don't　think　I　told　you。'

'At　whose　house　did　you　meet　him？'

'At　nobody's。　　I　only　saw　him　sometimes；'　replied　Picotee；　in　great
distress。

Ethelberta；　though　of　all　women　most　miserable；　was　brimming　with
compassion　for　the　throbbing　girl　so　nearly　related　to　her；　in　whom
she　continually　saw　her　own　weak　points　without　the　counterpoise　of
her　strong　ones。　　But　it　was　necessary　to　repress　herself　awhile：
the　intended　ways　of　her　life　were　blocked　and　broken　up　by　this　jar
of　interests；　and　she　wanted　time　to　ponder　new　plans。　　'Picotee；　I
would　rather　be　alone　now；　if　you　don't　mind；'　she　said。　　'You　need
not　leave　me　any　light；　it　makes　my　eyes　ache；　I　think。'

Picotee　left　the　room。　　But　Ethelberta　had　not　long　been　alone　and
in　darkness　when　somebody　gently　opened　the　door；　and　entered
without　a　candle。

'Berta；'　said　the　soft　voice　of　Picotee　again；　'may　I　come　in？'

'O　yes；'　said　Ethelberta。　　'Has　everything　gone　right　with　the　house
this　evening？'

'Yes；　and　Gwendoline　went　out　just　now　to　buy　a　few　things；　and　she
is　going　to　c