the hand of ethelberta-第35章

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question　or　two　which　I　was　fool　enough　to　think　I　must　ask　her
before　I　went　to　bed。　　Just　as　I　was　drawing　near　she　came　out；　and；
instead　of　getting　into　the　brougham　that　was　waiting　for　her；　she
went　round　the　corner。　　When　she　came　back　a　man　met　her　and　gave
her　something；　and　they　stayed　talking　together　two　or　three
minutes。　　The　meeting　may　certainly　not　have　been　intentional　on　her
part；　but　she　has　no　business　to　be　going　on　so　coolly　whenwhen
in　fact；　I　have　come　to　the　conclusion　that　a　woman's　affection　is
not　worth　having。　　The　only　feeling　which　has　any　dignity　or
permanence　or　worth　is　family　affection　between　close　blood…
relations。'

'And　yet　you　snub　me　sometimes；　Mr。　Kit。'

'And；　for　the　matter　of　that；　you　snub　me。　　Still；　you　know　what　I
meanthere's　none　of　that　off…and…on　humbug　between　us。　　If　we
grumble　with　one　another　we　are　united　just　the　same：　　if　we　don't
write　when　we　are　parted；　we　are　just　the　same　when　we　meetthere
has　been　some　rational　reason　for　silence；　but　as　for　lovers　and
sweethearts；　there　is　nothing　worth　a　rush　in　what　they　feel！'

Faith　said　nothing　in　reply　to　this。　　The　opinions　she　had　formed
upon　the　wisdom　of　her　brother's　pursuit　of　Ethelberta　would　have
come　just　then　with　an　ill　grace。　　It　must；　however；　have　been
evident　to　Christopher；　had　he　not　been　too　preoccupied　for
observation；　that　Faith's　impressions　of　Ethelberta　were　not　quite
favourable　as　regarded　her　womanhood；　notwithstanding　that　she
greatly　admired　her　talents。



22。　ETHELBERTA'S　HOUSE

Ethelberta　came　indoors　one　day　from　the　University　boat…race；　and
sat　down；　without　speaking；　beside　Picotee；　as　if　lost　in　thought。

'Did　you　enjoy　the　sight？'　said　Picotee。

'I　scarcely　know。　　We　couldn't　see　at　all　from　Mrs。　Belmaine's
carriage；　so　two　of　usvery　rashlyagreed　to　get　out　and　be　rowed
across　to　the　other　side　where　the　people　were　quite　few。　　But　when
the　boatman　had　us　in　the　middle　of　the　river　he　declared　he
couldn't　land　us　on　the　other　side　because　of　the　barges；　so　there
we　were　in　a　dreadful　statetossed　up　and　down　like　corks　upon
great　waves　made　by　steamers　till　I　made　up　my　mind　for　a　drowning。
Well；　at　last　we　got　back　again；　but　couldn't　reach　the　carriage　for
the　crowd；　and　I　don't　know　what　we　should　have　done　if　a　gentleman
hadn't　comesent　by　Mrs。　Belmaine；　who　was　in　a　great　fright　about
us；　then　he　was　introduced　to　me；　andI　wonder　how　it　will　end！'

'Was　there　anything　so　wonderful　in　the　beginning；　then？'

'Yes。　　One　of　the　coolest　and　most　practised　men　in　London　was　ill…
mannered　towards　me　from　sheer　absence　of　mindand　could　there　be
higher　flattery？　　When　a　man　of　that　sort　does　not　give　you　the
politeness　you　deserve；　it　means　that　in　his　heart　he　is　rebelling
against　another　feeling　which　his　pride　suggests　that　you　do　not
deserve。　　O；　I　forgot　to　say　that　he　is　a　Mr。　Neigh；　a　nephew　of　Mr。
Doncastle's；　who　lives　at　ease　about　Piccadilly　and　Pall　Mall；　and
has　a　few　acres　somewherebut　I　don't　know　much　of　him。　　The　worst
of　my　position　now　is　that　I　excite　this　superficial　interest　in
many　people　and　a　deep　friendship　in　nobody。　　If　what　all　my
supporters　feel　could　be　collected　into　the　hearts　of　two　or　three
they　would　love　me　better　than　they　love　themselves；　but　now　it
pervades　all　and　operates　in　none。'

'But　it　must　operate　in　this　gentleman？'

'Well；　yesjust　for　the　present。　　But　men　in　town　have　so　many
contrivances　for　getting　out　of　love　that　you　can't　calculate　upon
keeping　them　in　for　two　days　together。　　However；　it　is　all　the　same
to　me。　　There's　onlybut　let　that　be。'

'What　is　there　only？'　said　Picotee　coaxingly。

'Only　one　man；'　murmured　Ethelberta；　in　much　lower　tones。　　'I　mean；
whose　wife　I　should　care　to　be；　and　the　very　qualities　I　like　in　him
will；　I　fear；　prevent　his　ever　being　in　a　position　to　ask　me。'

'Is　he　the　man　you　punished　the　week　before　last　by　forbidding　him
to　come？'

'Perhaps　he　is：　　but　he　does　not　want　civility　from　me。　　Where
there's　much　feeling　there's　little　ceremony。'

'It　certainly　seems　that　he　does　not　want　civility　from　you　to　make
him　attentive　to　you；'　said　Picotee；　stifling　a　sigh；　'for　here　is　a
letter　in　his　handwriting；　I　believe。'

'You　might　have　given　it　to　me　at　once；'　said　Ethelberta；　opening
the　envelope　hastily。　　It　contained　very　few　sentences：　　they　were
to　the　effect　that　Christopher　had　received　her　letter　forbidding
him　to　call；　that　he　had　therefore　at　first　resolved　not　to　call　or
even　see　her　more；　since　he　had　become　such　a　shadow　in　her　path。
Still；　as　it　was　always　best　to　do　nothing　hastily；　he　had　on　second
thoughts　decided　to　ask　her　to　grant　him　a　last　special　favour；　and
see　him　again　just　once；　for　a　few　minutes　only　that　afternoon；　in
which　he　might　at　least　say　Farewell。　　To　avoid　all　possibility　of
compromising　her　in　anybody's　eyes；　he　would　call　at　half…past　six；
when　other　callers　were　likely　to　be　gone；　knowing　that　from　the
peculiar　constitution　of　the　household　the　hour　would　not　interfere
with　her　arrangements。　　There　being　no　time　for　an　answer；　he　would
assume　that　she　would　see　him；　and　keep　the　engagement；　the　request
being　one　which　could　not　rationally　be　objected　to。

'Thereread　it！'　said　Ethelberta；　with　glad　displeasure。　　'Did　you
ever　hear　such　audacity？　　Fixing　a　time　so　soon　that　I　cannot　reply；
and　thus　making　capital　out　of　a　pretended　necessity；　when　it　is
really　an　arbitrary　arrangement　of　his　own。　　That's　real　rebellion
forcing　himself　into　my　house　when　I　said　strictly　he　was　not　to
come；　and　then；　that　it　cannot　rationally　be　objected　toI　don't
like　his　〃rationally。〃'

'Where　there's　much　love　there's　little　ceremony；　didn't　you　say
just　now？'　observed　innocent　Picotee。

'And　where　there's　little　love；　no　ceremony　at　all。　　These　manners
of　his　are　dreadful；　and　I　believe　he　will　never　improve。'

'It　makes　you　care　not　a　bit　about　him；　does　it　not；　Berta？'　said
Picotee　hopefully。

'I　don't　answer　for　that；'　said　Ethelberta。　　'I　feel；　as　many　others
do；　that　a　want　of　ceremony　which　is　produced　by　abstraction　of　mind
is　no　defect　in　a　poet　or　musician；　fatal　as　it　may　be　to　an
ordinary　man。'

'Mighty　me！　You　soon　forgive　him。'

'Picotee；　don't　you　be　so　quick　to　speak。　　Before　I　have　finished；
how　do　you　know　what　I　am　going　to　say？　　I'll　never　tell　you
anything　again；　if　you　take　me　up　so。　　Of　course　I　am　going　to
punish　him　at　once；　and　make　him　remember　that　I　am　a　lady；　even　if
I　do　like　him　a　little。'

'How　do　you　mean　to　punish　him？'　said　Picotee；　with　interest。

'By　writing　and　telling　him　that　on　no　account　is　he　to　come。'

'But　there　is　not　time　for　a　letter'

'That　doesn't　matter。　　It　will　show　him　that　I　did　not　MEAN　him　to
come。'

At　hearing　the　very　merciful　nature　of　the　punishment；　Picotee
sighed　without　replying；　and　Ethelberta　despatched　her　note。　　The
hour　of　appointment　drew　near；　and　Ethelberta　showed　symptoms　of
unrest。　　Six　o'clock　struck　and　passed。　　She　walked　here　and　there
for　nothing；　and　it　was　plain　that　a　dread　was　filling　her：　　her
letter　might　accidentally　have　had；　in　addition　to　the　moral　effect
which　she　had　intended；　the　practical　effect　which　she　did　not
intend；　by　arriving　before；　instead　of　after；　his　purposed　visit　to
her；　thereby　stopping　him　in　spite　of　all　her　care。

'How　long　are　letters　going　to　Bloomsbury？'　she　said　suddenly。

'Two　hours；　Joey　tells　me；'　replied　Picotee；　who　had　already
inquired　on　her　own　private　account。

'There！'　exclaimed　Ethelberta　petulantly。　　'How　I　dislike　a　man　to
misrepresent　things！　　He　said　there　was　not　time　for　a　reply！'

'Perhaps　he　didn't　know；'　said　Picotee；　in　angel　tones；　'and　so　it
happens　all　right；　and　he　has　got　it；　and　he　will　not　come　after
all。'

They　waited　and　waited；　but　Christopher　did　not　appear　that　night；
the　true　case　being　that　his　declaration　about　insufficient　time　for
a　reply　was　merely　an　ingenious　suggestion　to　her　not　to　be　so　cruel
as　to　forbid　him。　　He　was　far　from　suspecting　when　the　letter　of
denial　did　reach　himabout　an　hour　before　the　time　of　appointment
that　it　was　sent　by　a　refinement　of　art；　of　which　the　re