the hand of ethelberta-第12章

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'A　lover　I　meanthat's　what　we　call　'em　down　here。'

'It　is　difficult　to　explain；'　said　Ethelberta　evasively。　　'I　knew
one　many　years　ago；　and　I　have　seen　him　again；　andthat　is　all。'

'According　to　my　idea　you　have　one；　but　according　to　your　own　you
have　not；　he　does　not　love　you；　but　you　love　himis　that　how　it
is？'

'I　have　not　quite　considered　how　it　is。'

'Do　you　love　him？'

'I　have　never　seen　a　man　I　hate　less。'

'A　great　deal　lies　covered　up　there；　I　expect！'

'He　was　in　that　carriage　which　drove　over　the　hill　at　the　moment　we
met　here。'

'Ah…ahsome　great　lord　or　another　who　has　his　day　by　candlelight；
and　so　on。　　I　guess　the　style。　　Somebody　who　no　more　knows　how　much
bread　is　a　loaf　than　I　do　the　price　of　diamonds　and　pearls。'

'I　am　afraid　he's　only　a　commoner　as　yet；　and　not　a　very　great　one
either。　　But　surely　you　guess；　Picotee？　　But　I'll　set　you　an　example
of　frankness　by　telling　his　name。　　My　friend；　Mr。　Julian；　to　whom
you　posted　the　book。　　Such　changes　as　he　has　seen！from　affluence
to　poverty。　　He　and　his　sister　have　been　playing　dances　all　night　at
WyndwayWhat　is　the　matter？'

'Only　a　pain！'

'My　dear　Picotee'

'I　think　I'll　sit　down　for　a　moment；　Berta。'

'Whathave　you　over…walked　yourself；　dear？'

'Yesand　I　got　up　very　early；　you　see。'

'I　hope　you　are　not　going　to　be　ill；　child。　　You　look　as　if　you
ought　not　to　be　here。'

'O；　it　is　quite　trifling。　　Does　not　getting　up　in　a　hurry　cause　a
sense　of　faintness　sometimes？'

'Yes；　in　people　who　are　not　strong。'

'If　we　don't　talk　about　being　faint　it　will　go　off。　　Faintness　is
such　a　queer　thing　that　to　think　of　it　is　to　have　it。　　Let　us　talk
as　we　were　talking　beforeabout　your　young　man　and　other
indifferent　matters；　so　as　to　divert　my　thoughts　from　fainting；　dear
Berta。　　I　have　always　thought　the　book　was　to　be　forwarded　to　that
gentleman　because　he　was　a　connection　of　yours　by　marriage；　and　he
had　asked　for　it。　　And　so　you　have　met　thisthis　Mr。　Julian；　and
gone　for　walks　with　him　in　evenings；　I　suppose；　just　as　young　men
and　women　do　who　are　courting？'

'No；　indeedwhat　an　absurd　child　you　are！'　said　Ethelberta。　　'I
knew　him　once；　and　he　is　interesting；　a　few　little　things　like　that
make　it　all　up。'

'The　love　is　all　on　one　side；　as　with　me。'

'O　no；　no：　　there　is　nothing　like　that。　　I　am　not　attached　to　any
one；　strictly　speakingthough；　more　strictly　speaking；　I　am　not
unattached。'

''Tis　a　delightful　middle　mind　to　be　in。　　I　know　it；　for　I　was　like
it　once；　but　I　had　scarcely　been　so　long　enough　to　know　where　I　was
before　I　was　gone　past。'

'You　should　have　commanded　yourself；　or　drawn　back　entirely；　for　let
me　tell　you　that　at　the　beginning　of　caring　for　a　manjust　when　you
are　suspended　between　thinking　and　feelingthere　is　a　hair's…
breadth　of　time　at　which　the　question　of　getting　into　love　or　not
getting　in　is　a　matter　of　willquite　a　thing　of　choice。　　At　the
same　time；　drawing　back　is　a　tame　dance；　and　the　best　of　all　is　to
stay　balanced　awhile。'

'You　do　that　well；　I'll　warrant。'

'Well；　no；　for　what　between　continually　wanting　to　love；　to　escape
the　blank　lives　of　those　who　do　not；　and　wanting　not　to　love；　to
keep　out　of　the　miseries　of　those　who　do；　I　get　foolishly　warm　and
foolishly　cold　by　turns。'

'Yesand　I　am　like　you　as　far　as　the　〃foolishly〃　goes。　　I　wish　we
poor　girls　could　contrive　to　bring　a　little　wisdom　into　our　love　by
way　of　a　change！'

'That's　the　very　thing　that　leading　minds　in　town　have　begun　to　do；
but　there　are　difficulties。　　It　is　easy　to　love　wisely；　but　the　rich
man　may　not　marry　you；　and　it　is　not　very　hard　to　reject　wisely；　but
the　poor　man　doesn't　care。　　Altogether　it　is　a　precious　problem。
But　shall　we　clamber　out　upon　those　shining　blocks　of　rock；　and　find
some　of　the　little　yellow　shells　that　are　in　the　crevices？　　I　have
ten　minutes　longer；　and　then　I　must　go。'



7。　THE　DINING…ROOM　OF　A　TOWN　HOUSE　…　THE　BUTLER'S　PANTRY

A　few　weeks　later　there　was　a　friendly　dinner…party　at　the　house　of
a　gentleman　called　Doncastle；　who　lived　in　a　moderately　fashionable
square　of　west　London。　　All　the　friends　and　relatives　present　were
nice　people；　who　exhibited　becoming　signs　of　pleasure　and　gaiety　at
being　there；　but　as　regards　the　vigour　with　which　these　emotions
were　expressed；　it　may　be　stated　that　a　slight　laugh　from　far　down
the　throat　and　a　slight　narrowing　of　the　eye　were　equivalent　as
indices　of　the　degree　of　mirth　felt　to　a　Ha…ha…ha！　and　a　shaking　of
the　shoulders　among　the　minor　traders　of　the　kingdom；　and　to　a　Ho…
ho…ho！　contorted　features；　purple　face；　and　stamping　foot　among　the
gentlemen　in　corduroy　and　fustian　who　adorn　the　remoter　provinces。

The　conversation　was　chiefly　about　a　volume　of　musical；　tender；　and
humorous　rhapsodies　lately　issued　to　the　world　in　the　guise　of
verse；　which　had　been　reviewed　and　talked　about　everywhere。　　This
topic；　beginning　as　a　private　dialogue　between　a　young　painter　named
Ladywell　and　the　lady　on　his　right　hand；　had　enlarged　its　ground　by
degrees；　as　a　subject　will　extend　on　those　rare　occasions　when　it
happens　to　be　one　about　which　each　person　has　thought　something
beforehand；　instead　of；　as　in　the　natural　order　of　things；　one　to
which　the　oblivious　listener　replies　mechanically；　with　earnest
features；　but　with　thoughts　far　away。　　And　so　the　whole　table　made
the　matter　a　thing　to　inquire　or　reply　upon　at　once；　and　isolated
rills　of　other　chat　died　out　like　a　river　in　the　sands。

'Witty　things；　and　occasionally　Anacreontic：　　and　they　have　the
originality　which　such　a　style　must　naturally　possess　when　carried
out　by　a　feminine　hand；'　said　Ladywell。

'If　it　is　a　feminine　hand；'　said　a　man　near。

Ladywell　looked　as　if　he　sometimes　knew　secrets；　though　he　did　not
wish　to　boast。

'Written；　I　presume　you　mean；　in　the　Anacreontic　measure　of　three
feet　and　a　halfspondees　and　iambics？'　said　a　gentleman　in
spectacles；　glancing　round；　and　giving　emphasis　to　his　inquiry　by
causing　bland　glares　of　a　circular　shape　to　proceed　from　his　glasses
towards　the　person　interrogated。

The　company　appeared　willing　to　give　consideration　to　the　words　of　a
man　who　knew　such　things　as　that；　and　hung　forward　to　listen。　　But
Ladywell　stopped　the　whole　current　of　affairs　in　that　direction　by
saying

'O　no；　I　was　speaking　rather　of　the　matter　and　tone。　　In　fact；　the
Seven　Days'　Review　said　they　were　Anacreontic；　you　know；　and　so　they
areany　one　may　feel　they　are。'

The　general　look　then　implied　a　false　encouragement；　and　the　man　in
spectacles　looked　down　again；　being　a　nervous　person；　who　never　had
time　to　show　his　merits　because　he　was　so　much　occupied　in　hiding
his　faults。

'Do　you　know　the　authoress；　Mr。　Neigh？'　continued　Ladywell。

'Can't　say　that　I　do；'　he　replied。

Neigh　was　a　man　who　never　disturbed　the　flesh　upon　his　face　except
when　he　was　obliged　to　do　so；　and　paused　ten　seconds　where　other
people　only　paused　one；　as　he　moved　his　chin　in　speaking；　motes　of
light　from　under　the　candle…shade　caught；　lost；　and　caught　again　the
outlying　threads　of　his　burnished　beard。

'She　will　be　famous　some　day；　and　you　ought　at　any　rate　to　read　her
book。'

'Yes；　I　ought；　I　know。　　In　fact；　some　years　ago　I　should　have　done
it　immediately；　because　I　had　a　reason　for　pushing　on　that　way　just
then。'

'Ah；　what　was　that？'

'Well；　I　thought　of　going　in　for　Westminster　Abbey　myself　at　that
time；　but　a　fellow　has　so　much　to　do；　and'

'What　a　pity　that　you　didn't　follow　it　up。　　A　man　of　your　powers；
Mr。　Neigh'

'Afterwards　I　found　I　was　too　steady　for　it；　and　had　too　much　of　the
respectable　householder　in　me。　　Besides；　so　many　other　men　are　on
the　same　tack；　and　then　I　didn't　care　about　it；　somehow。'

'I　don't　understand　high　art；　and　am　utterly　in　the　dark　on　what　are
the　true　laws　of　criticism；'　a　plain　married　lady；　who　wore
archaeological　jewellery；　was　saying　at　this　time。　　'But　I　know　that
I　have　derived　an　unusual　amount　of　amusement　from　those　verses；　and
I　am　heartily　thankful　to　〃E。〃　for　them。'

'I　am　afraid；'　said　a　gentleman　who　was　suffering　from　a　bad　shirt…
front；　'that　an　estimate　which　depends　upon　feeling　in　that　way　is
not　to　be　trusted　as