the story of a pioneer-第50章

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quoted　encounter　with　the　minister　who　deplored

the　fashion　I　followed　in　those　days　of　wearing　my

hair　short。　　This　young　man；　who　was　rather　a

pompous　person；　saw　fit　to　take　me　to　task　at　a

table　where　a　number　of　us　were　dining　together。



‘‘Miss　Shaw；''　he　said；　abruptly；　‘‘I　have　been

asked　very　often　why　you　wear　your　hair　short；

and　I　have　not　been　able　to　explain。　　Of　course''

this　kindly''　I　know　there　is　some　good　reason。　　I

ventured　to　advance　the　theory　that　you　have　been

ill　and　that　your　hair　has　fallen　out。　　Is　that　it？''



‘‘No；''　I　told　him。　　‘‘There　is　a　reason；　as　you

suggest。　　But　it　is　not　that　one。''



‘‘Then　why''　he　insisted。



‘‘I　am　rather　sensitive　about　it；''　I　explained。　

‘‘I　don't　know　that　I　care　to　discuss　the　subject。''



The　young　minister　looked　pained。　　‘‘But　among

friends''　he　protested。



‘‘True；''　I　conceded。　　‘‘Well；　then；　among　friends；

I　will　admit　frankly　that　it　is　a　birthmark。　　I　was

born　with　short　hair。''



That　was　the　last　time　my　short　hair　was　criticized

in　my　presence；　but　the　young　minister　was　right

in　his　disapproval　and　I　was　wrong；　as　I　subsequently

realized。　　A　few　years　later　I　let　my　hair　grow　long；

for　I　had　learned　that　no　woman　in　public　life　can

afford　to　make　herself　conspicuous　by　any　eccen…

tricity　of　dress　or　appearance。　　If　she　does　so　she

suffers　for　it　herself；　which　may　not　disturb　her；　and

to　a　greater　or　less　degree　she　injures　the　cause　she

represents；　which　should　disturb　her　very　much。







XII



BUILDING　A　HOME



It　is　not　generally　known　that　the　meeting　of

the　International　Council　of　Women　held　in

Chicago　during　the　World's　Fair　was　suggested　by

Miss　Anthony；　as　was　also　the　appointment　of　the

Exposition's　‘‘Board　of　Lady　Managers。''　　‘‘Aunt

Susan''　kept　her　name　in　the　background；　that　she

might　not　array　against　these　projects　the　opposi…

tion　of　those　prejudiced　against　woman　suffrage。　

We　both　spoke　at　the　meetings；　however；　as　I　have

already　explained；　and　one　of　our　most　chastening

experiences　occurred　on　‘‘Actress　Night。''　　There

was　a　great　demand　for　tickets　for　this　occasion；　as

every　one　seemed　anxious　to　know　what　kind　of

speeches　our　leading　women　of　the　stage　would　make；

and　the　programme　offered　such　magic　names　as

Helena　Modjeska；　Julia　Marlowe；　Georgia　Cayvan；

Clara　Morris；　and　others　of　equal　appeal。　　The　hall

was　soon　filled；　and　to　keep　out　the　increasing　throng

the　doors　were　locked　and　the　waiting　crowd　was

directed　to　a　second　hall　for　an　overflow　meeting。



As　it　happened；　Miss　Anthony　and　I　were　among

the　earliest　arrivals　at　the　main　hall。　　It　was　the

first　evening　we　had　been　free　to　do　exactly　as　we

pleased；　and　we　were　both　in　high　spirits；　looking

forward　to　the　speeches；　congratulating　each　other

on　the　good　seats　we　had　been　given　on　the　plat…

form；　and　rallying　the　speakers　on　their　stage　fright；

for；　much　to　our　amusement；　we　had　found　them　all

in　mortal　terror　of　their　audience。　　Georgia　Cayvan；

for　example；　was　so　nervous　that　she　had　to　be

strengthened　with　hot　milk　before　she　could　speak；

and　Julia　Marlowe　admitted　freely　that　her　knees

were　giving　way　beneath　her。　　They　really　had

something　of　an　ordeal　before　them；　for　it　was　de…

cided　that　each　actress　must　speak　twice　going

immediately　from　the　hall　to　the　overflow　meeting

and　repeating　there　the　speech　she　had　just　made。　

But　in　the　mean　time　some　one　had　to　hold　the　im…

patient　audience　in　the　second　hall；　and　as　it　was　a

duty　every　one　else　promptly　repudiated；　a　row　of

suddenly　imploring　faces　turned　toward　Miss　An…

thony　and　me。　　I　admit　that　we　responded　to　the

appeal　with　great　reluctance。　　We　were　SO　com…

fortable　where　we　wereand　we　were　also　deeply

interested　in　the　first　intimate　glimpse　we　were

having　of　these　stars　in　the　dramatic　sky。　　We　saw

our　duty；　however；　and　with　deep　sighs　we　rose　and

departed　for　the　second　hall；　where　a　glance　at　the

waiting　throng　did　not　add　to　our　pleasure　in　the

prospect　before　us。



When　I　walked　upon　the　stage　I　found　myself

facing　an　actually　hostile　audience。　　They　had　come

to　look　at　and　listen　to　the　actresses　who　had　been

promised　them；　and　they　thought　they　were　being

deprived　of　that　privilege　by　an　interloper。　　Never

before　had　I　gazed　out　on　a　mass　of　such　unresponsive

faces　or　looked　into　so　many　angry　eyes。　　They

were　exchanging　views　on　their　wrongs；　and　the　gen…

eral　buzz　of　conversation　continued　when　I　appeared。　

For　some　moments　I　stood　looking　at　them；　my

hands　behind　my　back。　　If　I　had　tried　to　speak　they

would　undoubtedly　have　gone　on　talking；　my　si…

lence　attracted　their　attention　and　they　began　to

wonder　what　I　intended　to　do。　　When　they　had

stopped　whispering　and　moving　about；　I　spoke

to　them　with　the　frankness　of　an　overburdened

heart。



‘‘I　think；''　I　said；　slowly　and　distinctly；　‘‘that　you

are　the　most　disagreeable　audience　I　ever　faced　in

my　life。''



They　gasped　and　stared；　almost　open…mouthed　in

their　surprise。



‘‘Never；''　I　went　on；　‘‘have　I　seen　a　gathering　of

people　turn　such　ugly　looks　upon　a　speaker　who　has

sacrificed　her　own　enjoyment　to　come　and　talk　to

them。　　Do　you　think　I　want　to　talk　to　you？''　　I　de…

manded；　warming　to　my　subject。　　‘‘I　certainly　do

not。　　Neither　does　Miss　Anthony　want　to　talk　to

you；　and　the　lady　who　spoke　to　you　a　few　moments

ago；　and　whom　you　treated　so　rudely；　did　not　wish

to　be　here。　　We　would　all　much　prefer　to　be　in　the

other　hall；　listening　to　the　speakers　from　our　com…

fortable　seats　on　the　stage。　　To　entertain　you　we

gave　up　our　places　and　came　here　simply　because

the　committee　begged　us　to　do　so。　　I　have　only　one

thing　more　to　say。　　If　you　care　to　listen　to　me

courteously　I　am　willing　to　waste　time　on　you；　but

don't　imagine　that　I　will　stand　here　and　wait　while

you　criticize　the　management。''



By　this　time　I　felt　as　if　I　had　a　child　across　my

knee　to　whom　I　was　administering　maternal　chastise…

ment；　and　the　uneasiness　of　my　audience　underlined

the　impression。　　They　listened　rather　sulkily　at　first；

then　a　few　of　the　best…natured　among　them　laughed；

and　the　laugh　grew　and　developed　into　applause。　

The　experience　had　done　them　good；　and　they　were

a　chastened　band　when　Clara　Morris　appeared；　and

I　gladly　yielded　the　floor　to　her。



All　the　actresses　who　spoke　that　night　delivered

admirable　addresses；　but　no　one　equaled　Madame

Modjeska；　who　delivered　exquisitely　a　speech　writ…

ten；　not　by　herself；　but　by　a　friend　and　country…

woman；　on　the　condition　of　Polish　women　under

the　regime　of　Russia。　　We　were　all　charmed　as　we

listened；　but　none　of　us　dreamed　what　that　address

would　mean　to　Modjeska。　　It　resulted　in　her　banish…

ment　from　Poland；　her　native　land；　which　she　was

never　again　permitted　to　enter。　　But　though　she

paid　so　heavy　a　price　for　the　revelation；　I　do　not

think　she　ever　really　regretted　having　given　to

America　the　facts　in　that　speech。



During　this　same　period　I　embarked　upon　a　high

adventure。　　I　had　always　longed　for　a　home；　and

my　heart　had　always　been　loyal　to　Cape　Cod。　　Now

I　decided　to　have　a　home　at　Wianno；　across　the　Cape

from　my　old　parish　at　East　Dennis。　　Deep…seated

as　my　home…making　aspiration　had　been；　it　was

realized　largely　as　the　result　of　chance。　　A　special

hobby　of　mine　has　always　been　auction　sales。　　I

dearly　love　to　drop　into　auction…rooms　while　sales

are　in　progress；　and　bid　up　to　the　danger…point；

taking　care　to　stop　just　in　time　to　let　some　one　else

get　the　offered　article。　　But　of　course　I　sometimes

failed　to　stop　at　the　psychological　moment；　and　the

result　was　a　sudden　realization　that；　in　the　course

of　the　years；　I　had　accumulated　an　extraordinary

number　of　articles　for　which　I　had　no　shelter　and

no　possible　use。



The　crown　jewel　of　the　collection　was　a　bedroom

set　I　had　picked　up　in　Philadelphia。