the story of a pioneer-第44章

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One　of　her　characteristic　traits　was　a　dislike　to

being　seen；　even　by　those　nearest　to　her；　when　she

was　not　well。　　During　the　first　three　weeks　of　her

last　illness；　therefore；　I　did　what　she　wished　me　to

doI　continued　our　work；　trying　to　do　hers　as　well

as　my　own。　　But　all　the　time　my　heart　was　in　her

sick…room；　and　at　last　the　day　came　when　I　could

no　longer　remain　away　from　her。　　I　had　awakened

in　the　morning　with　a　strong　conviction　that　she

needed　me；　and　at　the　breakfast…table　I　announced

to　her　niece；　Miss　Lucy　Anthony；　the　friend　who　for　

years　has　shared　my　home；　that　I　was　going　at　once

to　‘‘Aunt　Susan。''



‘‘I　shall　not　even　wait　to　telegraph；''　I　declared。　

‘‘I　am　sure　she　has　sent　for　me；　I　shall　take　the

first　train。''



The　journey　brought　me　very　close　to　death。　　As

we　were　approaching　Wilkes…Barre　our　train　ran　into

a　wagon　loaded　with　powder　and　dynamite；　which

had　been　left　on　the　track。　　The　horses　attached　to

it　had　been　unhitched　by　their　driver；　who　had　spent

his　time　in　this　effort；　when　he　saw　the　train　coming；

instead　of　in　signaling　to　the　engineer。　　I　was　on

my　way　to　the　dining…car　when　the　collision　occurred。　

and；　with　every　one　else　who　happened　to　be　stand…

ing；　I　was　hurled　to　the　floor　by　the　impact；　flash

after　flash　of　blinding　light　outside；　accompanied　by

a　terrific　roar；　added　to　the　panic　of　the　passengers。　

When　the　train　stopped　we　learned　how　narrow　had

been　our　escape　from　an　especially　unpleasant　form

of　death。　　The　dynamite　in　the　wagon　was　frozen；

and　therefore　had　not　exploded；　it　was　the　ex…

plosion　of　the　powder　that　had　caused　the　flashes

and　the　din。　　The　dark…green　cars　were　burned

almost　white；　and　as　we　stood　staring　at　them；　a

silent；　stunned　group；　our　conductor　said；　quietly；

‘‘You　will　never　be　as　near　death　again；　and　escape；

as　you　have　been　to…day。''



The　accident　caused　a　long　delay；　and　it　was　ten

o'clock　at　night　when　I　reached　Rochester　and　Miss

Anthony's　home。　　As　I　entered　the　house　Miss

Mary　Anthony　rose　in　surprise　to　greet　me。



‘‘How　did　you　get　here　so　soon？''　she　cried。　

And　then：　　‘‘We　sent　for　you　this　afternoon。　　Susan

has　been　asking　for　you　all　day。''



When　I　reached　my　friend's　bedside　one　glance

at　her　face　showed　me　the　end　was　near；　and　from

that　time　until　it　came；　almost　a　week　later；　I　re…

mained　with　her；　while　again；　as　always；　she　talked

of　the　Cause；　and　of　the　life…work　she　must　now　lay

down。　　The　first　thing　she　spoke　of　was　her　will；

which　she　had　made　several　years　before；　and　in

which　she　had　left　the　small　property　she　possessed

to　her　sister　Mary；　her　niece　Lucy；　and　myself；　with

instructions　as　to　the　use　we　three　were　to　make　of

it。　　Now　she　told　me　we　were　to　pay　no　attention

to　these　instructions；　but　to　give　every　dollar　of　her

money　to　the　60；000　fund　Miss　Thomas　and　Miss

Garrett　were　trying　to　raise。　　She　was　vitally　in…

terested　in　this　fund；　as　its　success　meant　that　for

five　years　the　active　officers　of　the　National　Ameri…

can　Woman　Suffrage　Association；　including　myself

as　president；　would　for　the　first　time　receive　salaries

for　our　work。　　When　she　had　given　her　instructions

on　this　point　she　still　seemed　depressed。



‘‘I　wish　I　could　live　on；''　she　said；　wistfully。　

‘‘But　I　cannot。　　My　spirit　is　eager　and　my　heart

is　as　young　as　it　ever　was；　but　my　poor　old　body　is

worn　out。　　Before　I　go　I　want　you　to　give　me　a

promise：　　Promise　me　that　you　will　keep　the　presi…

dency　of　the　association　as　long　as　you　are　well

enough　to　do　the　work。''



‘‘But　how　can　I　promise　that？''　I　asked。　　‘‘I　can

keep　it　only　as　long　as　others　wish　me　to　keep

it。''



‘‘Promise　to　make　them　wish　you　to　keep　it；''

she　urged。　　‘‘Just　as　I　wish　you　to　keep　it。''



I　would　have　promised　her　anything　then。　　So；

though　I　knew　that　to　hold　the　presidency　would　tie

me　to　a　position　that　brought　in　no　living　income；

and　though　for　several　years　past　I　had　already

drawn　alarmingly　upon　my　small　financial　reserve；

I　promised　her　that　I　would　hold　the　office　as　long

as　the　majority　of　the　women　in　the　association

wished　me　to　do　so。　　‘‘But；''　I　added；　‘‘if　the　time

comes　when　I　believe　that　some　one　else　can　do

better　work　in　the　presidency　than　I；　then　let　me

feel　at　liberty　to　resign　it。''



This　did　not　satisfy　her。



‘‘No；　no；''　she　objected。　　‘‘You　cannot　be　the

judge　of　that。　　Promise　me　you　will　remain　until

the　friends　you　most　trust　tell　you　it　is　time　to　with…

draw；　or　make　you　understand　that　it　is　time。　

Promise　me　that。''



I　made　the　promise。　　She　seemed　content；　and

again　began　to　talk　of　the　future。



‘‘You　will　not　have　an　easy　path；''　she　warned

me。　　‘‘In　some　ways　it　will　be　harder　for　you　than　it

has　ever　been　for　me。　　I　was　so　much　older　than　the

rest　of　you；　and　I　had　been　president　so　long；　that

you　girls　have　all　been　willing　to　listen　to　me。　　It

will　be　different　with　you。　　Other　women　of　your

own　age　have　been　in　the　work　almost　as　long　as　you

have　been；　you　do　not　stand　out　from　them　by　age　

or　length　of　service；　as　I　did。　　There　will　be　inevi…

table　jealousies　and　misunderstandings；　there　will

be　all　sorts　of　criticism　and　misrepresentation。　　My

last　word　to　you　is　this：　　No　matter　what　is　done

or　is　not　done；　how　you　are　criticized　or　misunder…

stood；　or　what　efforts　are　made　to　block　your　path；

remember　that　the　only　fear　you　need　have　is　the

fear　of　not　standing　by　the　thing　you　believe　to　be

right。　　Take　your　stand　and　hold　it；　then　let　come

what　will；　and　receive　blows　like　a　good　soldier。''



I　was　too　much　overcome　to　answer　her；　and

after　a　moment　of　silence　she；　in　her　turn；　made　me

a　promise。



‘‘I　do　not　know　anything　about　what　comes　to　us

after　this　life　ends；''　she　said。　　‘‘But　if　there　is　a

continuance　of　life　beyond　it；　and　if　I　have　any

conscious　knowledge　of　this　world　and　of　what　you

are　doing；　I　shall　not　be　far　away　from　you；　and　in

times　of　need　I　will　help　you　all　I　can。　　Who　knows？　

Perhaps　I　may　be　able　to　do　more　for　the　Cause

after　I　am　gone　than　while　I　am　here。''



Nine　years　have　passed　since　then；　and　in　each

day　of　them　all　it　seems　to　me；　in　looking　back；　I

have　had　some　occasion　to　recall　her　words。　　When

they　were　uttered　I　did　not　fully　comprehend　all

they　meant；　or　the　clearness　of　the　vision　that　had

suggested　them。　　It　seemed　to　me　that　no　position

I　could　hold　would　be　of　sufficient　importance　to

attract　jealousy　or　personal　attacks。　　The　years　have

brought　more　wisdom；　I　have　learned　that　any　one

who　assumes　leadership；　or　who；　like　myself；　has

had　leadership　forced　upon　her；　must　expect　to　bear

many　things　of　which　the　world　knows　nothing。　

But　with　this　knowledge；　too；　has　come　the　memory

of　‘‘Aunt　Susan's''　last　promise；　and　again　and　yet

again　in　hours　of　discouragement　and　despair　I　have

been　helped　by　the　blessed　conviction　that　she　was

keeping　it。



During　the　last　forty…eight　hours　of　her　life　she

was　unwilling　that　I　should　leave　her　side。　　So　day

and　night　I　knelt　by　her　bed；　holding　her　hand　and

watching　the　flame　of　her　wonderful　spirit　grow　dim。　

At　times；　even　then；　it　blazed　up　with　startling　sud…

denness。　　On　the　last　afternoon　of　her　life；　when　she

had　lain　quiet　for　hours；　she　suddenly　began　to　utter

the　names　of　the　women　who　had　worked　with　her；

as　if　in　a　final　roll…call。　　Many　of　them　had　preceded

her　into　the　next　world；　others　were　still　splendidly

active　in　the　work　she　was　laying　down。　　But　young

or　old；　living　or　dead；　they　all　seemed　to　file　past

her　dying　eyes　that　day　in　an　endless；　shadowy　re…

view；　and　as　they　went　by　she　spoke　to　each　of　them。



Not　all　the　names　she　mentioned　were　known　in

suffrage　ranks；　some　of　these　women　lived　only　in

the　heart　of　Susan　B。　Anthony；　and　now；　for　the

last　time；　she　was　thanking　them　for　what　they　had

done。　　Here　was