a face illumined-第79章

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a　little　elated　over　the　fact　that　she　had　been　able　to　tell　the

truth　the　evening　before。　　The　memory；　however；　that　nestled　most

warmly　in　her　heart　was　the　assertion　of　Van　Berg；　〃I　NEED　your

forgiveness。〃　　〃How　much　does　that　mean？〃　she　asked　herself　again

and　again。　　〃Does　he　really　wish　to　be　a　friend；　or　is　he　only

trying　to　smooth　over　matters　and　calm　me　down　so　he　can　leave　me

decorously；　as　after　our　hateful　episode　on　the　stage？〃



Her　wishes　colored　her　thoughts。　　〃He　spoke　too　earnestly　to　mean

so　little；〃　she　said　to　herself；　with　a　dreamy　smile　that　Van　Berg；

as　an　artist　merely；　would　have　given　much　to　see。



After　all；　perhaps　one　of　the　chief　causes　of　her　reviving　spirits

was　in　the　fact　she　was　young。　　She　could　not　take　a　very　sombre

view　of　life　that　fresh　summer　morning；　even　in　view　of　the　past　and

the　future；　and　her　manner　of　greeting　Mr。　Eltinge　and　of　telling

her　experiences　since　they　parted　suggested　to　him　that　she　was

gaining　in　self…complacency；　earthly　hope；　and　youthful　spirits；

rather　than　in　the　deep　and　lasting　peace　and　moral　strength　which

is　built　up　from　the　Living　Rock。　　She　was　finding　relief　from

depression　and　suffering　from　causes　as　transient　as　they　were

superficial。　　Chief　of　all；　she　had　not　realized　as　he　had　supposed

the　shadow　of　the　awful　crime　that　was　resting　upon　her；　and　the

need　of　God's　forgiveness。　　Almost　unconsciously　the　old　man；　wise

and　experienced　in　spiritual　life；　sighed　deeply　as　she　finished

her　story。



Her　quick　ear　caught　the　sigh；　and　her　woman's　intuition　gathered

from　his　face　that　the　outlook　did　not　seem　so　encouraging　to　him。

Her　heart　began　to　sink；　and　she　said　earnestly：



〃Mr。　Eltinge；　I've　tried　to　be　true；　I　want　you　to　be　faithful　to

me。　　Don't　hide　anything　from　me。〃



Yes；　my　child；〃　he　replied　gravely；　〃you　are　sincereyou　hide

nothing。　　I　think　I　understand　you。　　I　thank　God　he　gave　you　strength

last　night　to　tell　the　truth　under　very　trying　circumstances；　and

you　have　greatly　increased　my　respect　for　you　that　you　did　so。　　But；

to　use　a　little　figurative　language；　if　I　were　your　doctor　I　might

tell　you　that　you　don't　realize　how　sick　you　are　and　have　been。

There　have　been　some　encouraging　symptoms　and　circumstances；　and

your　spirits　and　hope　are　reviving；　and　you　are　looking　to　these

things　rather　than　to　him　who　taketh　away　the　sin　of　the　world。　　I

tried　to　encourage　you　yesterday；　my　child；　because　I　saw　you　were

deeply　depressed；　and　to　discourage　us　is　one　of　the　chief　aims

of　the　Evil　One。　　I　do　not　wish　to　discourage　you　to…dayfar　from

itbut　I　wish　to　realize　that　only　the　forgiveness　and　healing

touch　of　the　Son　of　God　are　equal　to　your　need。



〃My　child；〃　he　continued；　with　a　solemnity　that　made　her　grow　very

pale；　〃suppose　I　should　take　you　to　a　room　in　the　house　there；　show

you　a　fair　girl　with　eyes　that　should　look　for　her　duty　in　life

closed　forever；　and　the　hands　that　should　faithfully　and　bravely

do　it　paralyzed　in　death。　　Suppose　I　should　tell　you　that　I　had

given　her　a　poisonous　drug　the　night　before；　what　would　I　be？〃



〃A　murderer；〃　whispered　the　girl　with　eyes　dilated　with　fear　and

horror。



〃Yes；〃　said　the　old　man；　shaking　his　head　sadly；　〃I　would　have

destroyed　a　life　that　God　had　given；　and　destroyed　endless　chances

for　happiness　and　usefulness；　and　sent　a　poor　soul　to　judgement；

perhaps　unforgiven　and　unprepared。　　My　child；　it　cuts　me　to　the　heart

to　pain　you　so；　but　the　physician's　probe　must　go　to　the　depth　of

the　wound。　　It　is　no　kindness　to　the　patient　to　put　on　a　soothing

surface　application　and　leave　death　to　rankle　in　the　blood。　　We

have　no　reason　to　believe　that　in　the　eye　of　God　he　that　destroys

himself　is　any　the　less　guilty　than　he　that　kills　another；　and　even

in　the　judgment　of　man　it's　a　cowardly　flight　from　misfortunes　that

should　be　triumphed　over　with　courage　and　patience；　or　endured　with

fortitude　and　resignation。　　Mark　my　words；　it　is　only　a　flight；

not　an　escape；　for　every　evil　you　sought　to　shun　would　have　been

intensified　and　rendered　eternal。　　Now；　the　simple　truth　is；　we

hold　our　own　lives　in　trust　from　God；　to　be　used　according　to　his

will；　and　we　have　no　more　right　to　destroy　the　life　he　entrusts　to

us　than　the　life　he　gives　to　others。〃



Ida　had　buried　her　face　in　her　hands　and　was　trembling　violently。



〃I　did　not　realize　it　before；〃　she　murmured　in　a　low；　shuddering

tone。　　〃Oh；　what　shall　I　do？　　What　shall　I　do？　　Why　doesn't　the

earth　open　and　swallow　me　up？〃



The　old　man　came　to　her　side　again；　and　placing　his　right　hand

gently　on　her　bowed　head　and　holding　a　Bible　in　his　left；　continued

in　grave　by　very　gentle　tones：



〃Take　this　Book；　my　child；　it　will　tell　you　what　to　do。　　It　will

tell　you　that　merciful　and　all…powerful　arms　are　open　to　receive

you；　and　not　a　hopeless　grave。　　The　Son　of　God　has　said　to　the　heavy

laden；　'Come　unto　me；'　and　'whosoever　cometh　I　will　in　nowise　cast

out。'　Heaven　is　full；　my　child；　of　just　such　guilty　souls　as　yours；

but　it　was　HE　who　saved　them。　　It　was　His　precious　blood　that　washed

them　whiter　than　snow。　　When　you　seek　for　forgiveness　and　healing

at　His　feet　all　will　be　well；　but　not　till　then；　and　not　elsewhere。〃



〃O；　Mr。　Eltinge；〃　she　sobbed；　〃you　have　pierced　my　heart　as　with

a　sword。〃



〃I　have；　indeed；　my　poor　childwith　the　sword　of　truth；　and　what's

more；　I　can't　heal　the　wound　I've　made。〃



〃What　shall　I　do？　oh；　what　shall　I　do？〃　and　she　fairly　writhed　in

the　agony　of　her　remorse。



〃'Behold　the　Lamb　of　God；　that　taketh　away　the　sin　of　the　world；'〃

he　said　gently　but　firmly；　and　his　strong　faith　and　the　words　of

Holy　Writ　were　like　a　rock；　at　which；　from　out　of　the　overwhelming

torrent　of　her　remorseful　despair；　she　grasped　as　her　one　chance；

her　one　hope。



Lifting　her　streaming　eyes　to　heaven；　and　clasping　her　hands；　she

cried　passionately：



〃O　Christ；　hope　of　the　sinful；　if　there　is　mercy　for　such　as　I；

forgive　me；　for　my　crime　is　like　a　falling　mountain！〃



A　moment　later　she　sprang　up　and　put　her　arms　around　the　old　man's

neck。



〃My　friend；　my　more　than　father！〃　she　sobbed；　〃I　thinkI　almost

believe　God　has　heard　me。　　It　seems　as　if　I　had　escaped　from　death；

andandmy　heart　was　breaking；　but　nowoh；　it's　all　a　heavenly

mystery！〃



〃Yes；〃　replied　Mr。　Eltinge　brokenly；　and　with　answering　emotion；

〃it　is　a　heavenly　mystery。　　'Not　by　might；　nor　by　power；　but　by　my

Spirit；　saith　the　Lord。'〃



Ida　could　never　forget　the　remaining　hours　which　she　spent　that

day　in　the　old　garden。　　it　was　then　and　there　that　she　experienced

the　sensations　of　those　entering　a　new　spiritual　life　and　a　new

world；　and　with　some；　these　first　impressions　are　very　vivid；　and

with　some；　these　first　impressions　are　very　vivid。



It　was　according　to　nature　that　it　should　be　so　in　the　instance　of

Ida　Mayhew；　for　she　was　simple；　positive；　and　warm　in　her　feelings；

rather　than　cold　and　complex。　　But　she　was　sane；　and　abounded　in

the　homely　common　sense　which　enabled　her　to　understand　herself　and

those　about　her。　　She　formed　fairly　correct　estimates　of　all　whom

she　had　met；　and　with　the　same　simple　directness　she　began　to

recognize　the　character　of　the　Divine　Man　that　Mr。　Eltinge　and　the

Bible　they　read　together　presented。



No　earthly　casuistry　could　ever　lead　her　to　doubt　that　he　had　heard

her　prayer　that　morning。　　She　might　reply　simply　to　all　cavil　and

questioning：



〃I　know　he　heard　and　answered　me；　and　if　I　do　not　know　this　to　be

true；　I　cannot　know　anything　to　be　true；〃　for　never　before　had　her

consciousness　made　anything　so　distinct　and　real。



To　say　that　she　and　multitudes　of　others　are　mistaken；　is　begging

the　whole　question。　　It　is　baldly　taking　the　ground　of　denial　of

everything　outside　of　personal　understanding　and　knowledge。　　The

skepticism　of　very　many　would　blot　out　the　greater　part　of　science；

history；　and　geography。　　The　facts　of