a face illumined-第102章

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know；　with　absolute　certainty；　that　the　strongest　impulse　of　true

friendship；　or　at　least　of　mine；　in　this　instance；　is　to　render

some　service　to　my　friend。　　You　will　make　me　very　happy　if　you　will

tell　me　something　I　can　do　for　you。〃



〃You　are　helping　me　very　much　in　your　manner　towards　father；　and

I　do　thank　you　from　the　very　depths　of　my　heart。　　In　no　way　could

you　have　won　from　me　a　deeper　gratitude。　　Andwellyour　kindness

almost　tempts　me　to　ask　for　another　favor；　Mr。　Van　Berg。〃



He　sprang　to　her　side　and　took　her　hand。



Quickly　withdrawing　it；　she　said　with　a　little　decisive　node：　　〃You

must　sit　down　and　sit　still；　for　I　have　along；　tiresome　story　to

tell；　and　a　very　prosaic　favor　to　ask；〃　for　she　had　resolved；　〃he

shall　go　forward　now　with　his　eyes　open；　and　he　shall　never　say　I

won　him　by　seeming　what　I　was　not。　　If　I　can't　deal　right　by　Jennie

Burton；　I　will　by　him。〃



〃I　shall　find　no　service　prosaic；　see；　I'm　all　attention；〃　and　he

did　look　very　eager　indeed。



〃That　encyclopaedia　suggests　my　story；　and　I　may　have　to　refer

incidentally　to　myself。〃



〃Leave　the　book　out；　I'll　listen　for　ages。〃



〃I　should　be　out　of　breath　before　that。　　Mr。　Van　Berg；　I'm　in　earnest；

I　don't　know　anything　worth　knowing。　　My　life　has　been　worse　than

wasted；　and　the　only　two　things　I　understand　well　are　dancing　and

flirting。　　Now　I　know　you　are　disgusted；　but　its　the　truth。　　My　old；

fashionable　life　seems　to　me　like　the　tawdry　scenes　of　a　second…rate

theatre；　where　everything　is　for　effect　and　nothing　is　real。　　I

have　hosts　of　acquaintances；　but　I　haven't　any　friends　except　Mr。

Eltinge。〃



〃And　Harold　Van　Berg；〃　put　in　the　artist；　promptly。



〃It's　good　of　you　to　say　that　after　such　confessions；〃　she　continued；

with　a　shy　glance。　　〃I　hope　it　wasn't　out　of　politeness。　　Well；

I've　waked　up　at　last。　　I　think　you　first　startled　me　out　of　my

insufferable　stupidity　and　silliness　at　the　concert　garden；　and

I'm　very　much　obliged　to　you　for　the　remark　you　made　to　Cousin　Ik

on　that　occasion。〃



〃Yes；　I　remember；〃　Van　Berg　groaned。　　〃I　waked　you　up　as　if　I　were

trying　to　put　your　shoulder　out　of　joint。　　Well；　I'm　waking　up

also。〃



〃You　have　no　idea　what　a　perfect　sham　of　a　life　I　led；〃　and　she

told　him　frankly　of　her　wasted　school　days　and　of　her　trip　abroad；

for　which　she　had　no　preparation　of　mind　or　character。　　〃A　butterfly

might　have　flown　over　the　same　ground　and　come　back　just　as　wise；〃

she　said。　　〃But　I　have　suddenly　entered　a　new　world　of　truth

and　duty；　and　I　am　bewildered；　I　am　anxious　to　fit　myself　for　the

society　of　sensible；　cultivated　people；　and　I　am　discouraged　by

the　task　before　me。　　I　went　to　father's　library　yesterday　and　was

perfectly　appalled　by　the　number　of　books　and　subjects　that　I　know

nothing　about。　　The　fact　that　I　stumbled　into　that　encyclopaedia；

which　gave　you　the　laugh　against　me；　shows　how　helpless　I　am。

Indeed；　I'm　like　a　little　child　trying　to　find　its　way　through　a

wilderness　of　knowledge。　　I　blundered　on　as　far　as　Amsterdam；　and

there　I　stopped　in　despair。　　I　didn't　know　what　was　before　me；　and

I　was　getting　everything　I　had　been　over　confused　and　mixed　up　in

my　mind。　　And　now；　Mr。　Van　Berg；　with　your　thorough　education　and

wide　experience　you　can　tell　me　what　to　read　and　how　to　read。〃



Van　Berg's　face　was　fairly　alive　with　interest；　and　he　said　eagerly：

〃The　favor　you　ask　suggests　a　far　greater　one　on　my　part。　　Let　me

go　with　you　through　this　wilderness　of　knowledge。　　We　can　take　up

courses　of　reading　together。〃



At　this　moment　Mr。　Mayhew　entered；　and　the　artist　hesitated　to　go

on　with　his　far…reaching　offers；　and；　indeed；　he　suddenly　began　to

realize；　with　some　embarrassment；　how　much　they　did　　involve。



But　Ida　maintained　her　presence　of　mind；　and　said；　simply：　　〃That

would　be　impossible；　though　no　doubt　exceedingly　helpful　to　me。

Here；　as　in　the　instance　of　the　pictures；　your　good…nature　and

kindness　carry　you　far　beyond　what　I　ever　dreamed　of　asking。　　I

merely　thought　that　in　some　of　your　moments　of　leisure　you　could

jot　down　some　books　and　subjects　that　would　be　the　same　as　if　you

had　pointed　out　smooth　and　shady　paths。　　You　see；　in　my　ignorance；

I've　tried　to　push　my　way　through　the　wilderness　straight　across

everything。　　Last　evening　I　pestered　my　father　with　so　many　questions

about　politics　and　the　topics　of　the　day；　that　he　thought　I　had

lost　my　wits。〃



Mr。　Mayhew　leaned　back　in　his　chair　and　laughed　heartily；　as　he

mentally　ejaculated：　　〃Well　done；　little　girl！〃



〃I　will　brush　up　my　literary　ideas；　and　do　the　best　I　can；　very

gladly；〃　said　Van　Berg。　　〃But　you　greatly　underrate　yourself　and

overrate　my　ability。　　I　am　still　but　on　the　edge　of　this　wilderness

of　knowledge　myself；　and　in　crossing　a　wilderness　one　likes　company。〃



〃Oh；　I　could　never　keep　up　with　your　manly　strides；〃　said　Ida；　with

a　sudden　trill　of　laughter。　　〃Having　secured　my　wish；　I　shall　now

reward　you　with　some　very　poor　music；　which　will　suggest　my　need

of　lessons　in　that　direction　also。〃



Van　Berg　was　not　long　in　discovering　that　she　would　never　become　a

great　musician；　no　matter　how　many　lessons　she　had。　　But　she　played

with　taste　and　a　graceful　rhythm；　which　proved　that　music　in　its

simplest　forms　might　become　a　language　by　which　she　could　express

her　thought　and　feeling。



〃Ida；〃　said　Mr。　Mayhew；　a　little　abruptly；　〃I　wish　to　see　a　friend

at　the　club。　　I'll　be　back　before　the　evening　is　over。〃



〃Please　don't　stay　long；〃　Ida　answered；　looking　wistfully　after

him。



Then　they　found　some　ballad…music　that　they　could　sing　together；

and　Van　Berg　expressed　great　pleasure　in　finding　how　well　their

voices　blended。



〃You　have　modestly　kept　quite　all　summer；　and　I　am　just　finding

out　that　you　play　and　sing；〃　he　said。



〃I　would　not　have　the　confidence　to　do　either　at　a　hotel。　　I　shall

never　be　able　to　do　any　more　than　furnish　a　little　simple　home

music　to　friends；　not　critics。〃



〃I'm　content　with　that　arrangement；　for　I　have　finally　dropped　my

character　of　critic。〃



〃But　true　friends　never　flatter；〃　she　said。　　〃If　you　won't　help　me

overcome　my　faults　I　shall　have　to　find　another　friend。〃



〃As　you　recommended　an　ancient　woman　as　nurse；　so　I　will　recommend

the　venerable　friend　you　have　already　found；　and　ask　you　to　let

him　do　all　the　fault…finding。〃



She　turned　to　him　and　said　earnestly：　　〃Mr。　Van　Berg；　are　you　not

a　sufficiently　sincere　friend　to　tell　me　my　faults？〃



〃Yes；　Miss　Ida；　if　you　ask　me　to。〃



〃Only　as　you　do　so　can　you　keep　my　respect。〃



〃You　are　very　much　in　earnest。　　I　never　saw　greater　fidelity　to

conscience　before；　and　I　should　be　very　sorry　if；　for　any　cause；

your　conscience　were　arrayed　against　me。〃



She　suddenly　buried　her　face　in　her　hands　and　trembled。　　Then

turning　from　him　to　her　piano　again　she　faltered：　　〃I　disregarded

conscience　once　and　I　suffered　deeply；〃　and　in　the　depths　of　her

soul　she　added；　〃and　I　fear　I　shall　again。〃



〃Miss　Ida；〃　he　said　impetuously；　〃I　cannot　tell　you　what

a　fascination　your　new；　beautiful　life　has　for　me　as　seen　against

the　dark　background　of　memories　which　neither　you　nor　I　can　ever

wholly　banish。　　But　I　am　causing　you　pain　now；〃　for　she　became　very

pale；　as　was　ever　the　case　when　there　was　the　faintest　allusion

to　the　awful　crime　which　she　had　contemplated。　　〃Forgive　me；〃　he

added　earnestly；　〃and　sing；　please；　that　little　meadow　brook　song；

of　which　I　caught　a　few　bars　last　evening。　　That；　I　think；　must

contain　an　antidote　against　all　morbid　thoughts。〃



〃You　are　mistaken；〃　she　said。　　〃It's　very　silly　and　sentimental；

you　won't　like　it。〃



〃Nevertheless　please　sing　it；　for　if　not　to　my　taste；　you　will

prevent　it　from　running　in　my　head　any　longer；　as　it　has　ever　since

I　heard　it。〃



〃You　will　never　ask　for　it　again；〃　she　said；　and　she　sang　the

following　words　to　a　low…gliding　melody　designed　to　suggest　the

murmu