the relics of general chasse-第3章

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something　to　make　me　think　of　the　poor　general！〃

Snip；　snip　went　the　scissors　with　professional　rapidity；　and　a　round
piece　was　extracted　from　the　back　of　the　calf　of　the　left　leg。　　I
shuddered　with　horror；　and　so　did　the　Rev。　Augustus　Horne　with　cold。

〃I　hardly　think　it's　proper　to　cut　them　up；〃　said　Miss　No。　2。

〃Oh　isn't　it？〃　said　the　harpy。　　〃Then　I'll　do　what's　improper！〃　　And
she　got　her　finger　and　thumb　well　through　the　holes　in　the　scissors'
handles。　　As　she　spoke　resolution　was　plainly　marked　on　her　brow。

〃Well；　if　they　are　to　be　cut　up；　I　should　certainly　like　a　bit　for　a
pen…wiper；〃　said　No。　2。　　No。　2　was　a　literary　young　lady　with　a
periodical　correspondence；　a　journal；　and　an　album。　　Snip；　snip　went
the　scissors　again；　and　the　broad　part　of　the　upper　right　division
afforded　ample　materials　for　a　pen…wiper。

Then　the　lady　with　the　back；　seeing　that　the　desecration　of　the
article　had　been　completed；　plucked　up　heart　of　courage　and　put　in
her　little　request；　〃I　think　I　might　have　a　needle…case　out　of　it；〃
said　she；　〃just　as　a　suvneer　of　the　poor　general〃and　a　long
fragment　cut　rapidly　out　of　the　waistband　afforded　her　unqualified
delight。

Mamma；　with　the　hot　face　and　untidy　hair；　came　next。　　〃Well；　girls；〃
she　said；　〃as　you　are　all　served；　I　don't　see　why　I'm　to　be　left
out。　　Perhaps；　Miss　Grogram〃she　was　an　old　maid；　you　see
〃perhaps；　Miss　Grogram；　you　could　get　me　as　much　as　would　make　a
decent…sized　reticule。〃

There　was　not　the　slightest　difficulty　in　doing　this。　　The　harpy　in
the　centre　again　went　to　work；　snip；　snip；　and　extracting　from　that
portion　of　the　affairs　which　usually　sustained　the　greater　portion
of　Mr。　Horne's　weight　two　large　round　pieces　of　cloth；　presented
them　to　the　well…pleased　matron。　　〃The　general　knew　well　where　to
get　a　bit　of　good　broadcloth；　certainly；〃　said　she；　again　feeling
the　pieces。

〃And　now　for　No。　1；〃　said　she　whom　I　so　absolutely　hated；　〃I　think
there　is　still　enough　for　a　pair　of　slippers。　　There's　nothing　so
nice　for　the　house　as　good　black　cloth　slippers　that　are　warm　to　the
feet　and　don't　show　the　dirt。〃　　And　so　saying；　she　spread　out　on　the
floor　the　lacerated　remainders。

〃There's　a　nice　bit　there；〃　said　young　lady　No。　2；　poking　at　one　of
the　pockets　with　the　end　of　her　parasol。

〃Yes；〃　said　the　harpy；　contemplating　her　plunder。　　〃But　I'm　thinking
whether　I　couldn't　get　leggings　as　well。　　I　always　wear　leggings　in
the　thick　of　the　winter。〃　　And　so　she　concluded　her　operations；　and
there　was　nothing　left　but　a　melancholy　skeleton　of　seams　and
buttons。

All　this　having　been　achieved；　they　pocketed　their　plunder　and
prepared　to　depart。　　There　are　people　who　have　a　wonderful　appetite
for　relics。　　A　stone　with　which　Washington　had　broken　a　window　when
a　boywith　which　he　had　done　so　or　had　not；　for　there　is　little
difference；　a　button　that　was　on　a　coat　of　Napoleon's；　or　on　that　of
one　of　his　lackeys；　a　bullet　said　to　have　been　picked　up　at　Waterloo
or　Bunker's　Hill；　these；　and　suchlike　things　are　great　treasures。
And　their　most　desirable　characteristic　is　the　ease　with　which　they
are　attained。　　Any　bullet　or　any　button　does　the　work。　　Faith　alone
is　necessary。　　And　now　these　ladies　had　made　themselves　happy　and
glorious　with　〃Relics〃　of　General　Chasse　cut　from　the　ill…used
habiliments　of　an　elderly　English　gentleman！

They　departed　at　last；　and　Mr。　Horne；　for　once　in　an　ill　humour；
followed　me　into　the　bedroom。　　Here　I　must　be　excused　if　I　draw　a
veil　over　his　manly　sorrow　at　discovering　what　fate　had　done　for
him。　　Remember　what　was　his　position；　unclothed　in　the　Castle　of
Antwerp！　　The　nearest　suitable　change　for　those　which　had　been
destroyed　was　locked　up　in　his　portmanteau　at　the　Hotel　de　Belle　Rue
in　Brussels！　　He　had　nothing　left　to　himliterally　nothing；　in　that
Antwerp　world。　　There　was　no　other　wretched　being　wandering　then　in
that　Dutch　town　so　utterly　denuded　of　the　goods　of　life。　　For　what
is　a　man　fit；for　what　can　he　be　fit；when　left　in　such　a
position？　　There　are　some　evils　which　seem　utterly　to　crush　a　man；
and　if　there　be　any　misfortune　to　which　a　man　may　be　allowed　to
succumb　without　imputation　on　his　manliness；　surely　it　is　such　as
this。　　How　was　Mr。　Horne　to　return　to　his　hotel　without　incurring
the　displeasure　of　the　municipality？　　That　was　my　first　thought。

He　had　a　cloak；　but　it　was　at　the　inn；　and　I　found　that　my　friend
was　oppressed　with　a　great　horror　at　the　idea　of　being　left　alone；
so　that　I　could　not　go　in　search　of　it。　　There　is　an　old　saying；
that　no　man　is　a　hero　to　his　valet　de　chambre；　the　reason　doubtless
being　this；　that　it　is　customary　for　his　valet　to　see　the　hero
divested　of　those　trappings　in　which　so　much　of　the　heroic　consists。
Who　reverences　a　clergyman　without　his　gown；　or　a　warrior　without
his　sword　and　sabre…tasche？　　What　would　even　Minerva　be　without　her
helmet？

I　do　not　wish　it　to　be　understood　that　I　no　longer　reverenced　Mr。
Horne　because　he　was　in　an　undress；　but　he　himself　certainly　lost
much　of　his　composed；　well…sustained　dignity　of　demeanour。　　He　was
fearful　and　querulous；　cold；　and　rather　cross。　　When；　forgetting　his
size；　I　offered　him　my　own；　he　thought　that　I　was　laughing　at　him。
He　began　to　be　afraid　that　the　story　would　get　abroad；　and　he　then
and　there　exacted　a　promise　that　I　would　never　tell　it　during　his
lifetime。　　I　have　kept　my　word；　but　now　my　old　friend　has　been
gathered　to　his　fathers；　full　of　years。

At　last　I　got　him　to　the　hotel。　　It　was　long　before　he　would　leave
the　castle；　cloaked　though　he　was；not；　indeed；　till　the　shades　of
evening　had　dimmed　the　outlines　of　men　and　things；　and　made
indistinct　the　outward　garniture　of　those　who　passed　to　and　fro　in
the　streets。　　Then；　wrapped　in　his　cloak；　Mr。　Horne　followed　me
along　the　quays　and　through　the　narrowest　of　the　streets；　and　at
length；　without　venturing　to　return　the　gaze　of　any　one　in　the　hotel
court；　he　made　his　way　up　to　his　own　bedroom。

Dinnerless　and　supperless　he　went　to　his　couch。　　But　when　there　he
did　consent　to　receive　some　consolation　in　the　shape　of　mutton
cutlets　and　fried　potatoes；　a　savory　omelet；　and　a　bottle　of　claret。
The　mutton　cutlets　and　fried　potatoes　at　the　Golden　Fleece　at
Antwerp　areor　were　then；　for　I　am　speaking　now　of　well…nigh　thirty
years　sinceremarkably　good；　the　claret；　also；　was　of　the　best；　and
so；　by　degrees；　the　look　of　despairing　dismay　passed　from　his　face；
and　some　scintillations　of　the　old　fire　returned　to　his　eyes。

〃I　wonder　whether　they　find　themselves　much　happier　for　what　they
have　got？〃　said　he。

〃A　great　deal　happier；〃　said　I。　　〃They'll　boast　of　those　things　to
all　their　friends　at　home；　and　we　shall　doubtless　see　some　account
of　their　success　in　the　newspapers。〃

〃It　would　be　delightful　to　expose　their　blunder；to　show　them　up。
Would　it　not；　George？　　To　turn　the　tables　on　them？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　I；　〃I　should　like　to　have　the　laugh　against　them。〃

〃So　would　I；　only　that　I　should　compromise　myself　by　telling　the
story。　　It　wouldn't　do　at　all　to　have　it　told　at　Oxford　with　my　name
attached　to　it。〃

To　this　also　I　assented。　　To　what　would　I　not　have　assented　in　my
anxiety　to　make　him　happy　after　his　misery？

But　all　was　not　over　yet。　　He　was　in　bed　now；　but　it　was　necessary
that　he　should　rise　again　on　the　morrow。　　At　home；　in　England；　what
was　required　might　perhaps　have　been　made　during　the　night；　but
here；　among　the　slow　Flemings；　any　such　exertion　would　have　been
impossible。　　Mr。　Horne；　moreover；　had　no　desire　to　be　troubled　in
his　retirement　by　a　tailor。

Now　the　landlord　of　the　Golden　Fleece　was　a　very　stout　man；a　very
stout　man　indeed。　　Looking　at　him　as　he　stood　with　his　hands　in　his
pockets　at　the　portal　of　his　own　establishment；　I　could　not　but
think　that　he　was　stouter　even　than　Mr。　Horne。　　But　then　he　was
certainly　much　shorter；　and　the　want　of　due　proportion　probably
added　to　his　unwieldy　appearance。　　I　walked　round　him　once　or　twice
wishfully；　measuring　him　in　my　eye；　and　thinking　of　what　texture
might　be　the　Sunday　best　of　such　a　man。　　The　clothes　which　he　then
had　on　were　certainly　not　exactly　suited　to　Mr。　Horne's　tastes。

He　saw　that　I　was　observ