±´¿Çµç×ÓÊé > Ó¢ÎÄÔ­Öøµç×ÓÊé > the quest of the golden girl >

µÚ20ÕÂ

the quest of the golden girl-µÚ20ÕÂ

С˵£º the quest of the golden girl ×ÖÊý£º ÿҳ4000×Ö

°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·­Ò³£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡




As¡¡I¡¡read£»¡¡I¡¡saw¡¡her¡¡lovely¡¡young¡¡face£»¡¡radiant¡¡with¡¡love¡¡and¡¡sorrow¡¡as¡¡I¡¡had¡¡last¡¡seen¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡pressing¡¡the¡¡precious¡¡little¡¡letter¡¡to¡¡my¡¡lips£»¡¡I¡¡said¡¡fervently£»¡¡¡¨Yes£»¡¡Nicolete£»¡¡I¡¡will¡¡be¡¡true¡£¡¨



CHAPTER¡¡XII


IN¡¡WHICH¡¡I¡¡REVIEW¡¡MY¡¡ACTIONS¡¡AND¡¡RENEW¡¡MY¡¡RESOLUTIONS

No¡¡doubt¡¡the¡¡youthful¡¡reader¡¡will¡¡have¡¡but¡¡a¡¡poor¡¡opinion¡¡of¡¡me¡¡after¡¡the¡¡last¡¡two¡¡chapters¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡will¡¡think¡¡that¡¡in¡¡the¡¡scene¡¡with¡¡the¡¡Major¡­General¡¡I¡¡acted¡¡with¡¡lamentably¡¡little¡¡spirit£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡generally¡¡my¡¡friend¡¡Alastor¡¡would¡¡have¡¡proved¡¡infinitely¡¡more¡¡worthy¡¡of¡¡the¡¡situation¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡quite¡¡true£»¡¡I¡¡confess¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡whole¡¡episode¡¡was¡¡made¡¡for¡¡Alastor¡£¡¡¡¡Nicolete¡¡and¡¡he¡¡were¡¡born¡¡for¡¡each¡¡other¡£¡¡¡¡Alas£¡¡¡it¡¡is¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡many¡¡drawbacks¡¡of¡¡experience¡¡that¡¡it¡¡frequently¡¡prevents¡¡our¡¡behaving¡¡with¡¡spirit¡£

I¡¡must¡¡be¡¡content¡¡to¡¡appeal¡¡to¡¡the¡¡wiser¡¡and¡¡therefore¡¡sadder¡¡reader£»¡¡of¡¡whom¡¡I¡¡have¡¡but¡¡a¡¡poor¡¡opinion¡¡if¡¡he¡¡too¡¡fails¡¡to¡¡understand¡¡me¡£¡¡¡¡He£»¡¡I¡¡think£»¡¡will¡¡understand¡¡why¡¡I¡¡didn't¡¡promptly¡¡assault¡¡the¡¡Major¡­¡¡General£»¡¡seize¡¡Nicolete¡¡by¡¡the¡¡waist£»¡¡thrust¡¡her¡¡into¡¡her¡¡ancestral¡¡carriage£»¡¡haul¡¡the¡¡coachman¡¡from¡¡his¡¡box£»¡¡and£»¡¡seizing¡¡the¡¡reins£»¡¡drive¡¡away¡¡in¡¡triumph¡¡before¡¡astonishment¡¡had¡¡time¡¡to¡¡change¡¡into¡¡pursuit¡£¡¡Truly¡¡it¡¡had¡¡been¡¡but¡¡the¡¡work¡¡of¡¡a¡¡moment£»¡¡and¡¡there¡¡was¡¡only¡¡one¡¡consideration¡¡which¡¡prevented¡¡my¡¡following¡¡this¡¡now¡­I¡­call¡­that¡­heroic¡¡course¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡a¡¡consideration¡¡I¡¡dare¡¡hardly¡¡venture¡¡to¡¡write£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡confession¡¡of¡¡which¡¡will£»¡¡I¡¡know£»¡¡necessitate¡¡my¡¡changing¡¡my¡¡age¡¡back¡¡again¡¡to¡¡thirty¡¡on¡¡the¡¡instant¡£¡¡¡¡Oh£»¡¡be¡¡merciful£»¡¡dear¡¡romantic¡¡reader£¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡didn't¡¡strike¡¡the¡¡Major¡­General£»¡¡because£»¡¡oh£»¡¡because¡¡I¡¡AGREED¡¡WITH¡¡HIM£¡

I¡¡loved¡¡Nicolete£»¡¡you¡¡must¡¡have¡¡felt¡¡that¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡sweet¡¡to¡¡me¡¡as¡¡the¡¡bunch¡¡of¡¡white¡¡flowers¡¡that£»¡¡in¡¡their¡¡frail¡¡Venetian¡¡vase£»¡¡stand¡¡so¡¡daintily¡¡on¡¡my¡¡old¡¡bureau¡¡as¡¡I¡¡write£»¡¡doing¡¡their¡¡best¡¡to¡¡sweeten¡¡my¡¡thoughts¡£¡¡Dear¡¡was¡¡she¡¡to¡¡me¡¡as¡¡the¡¡birds¡¡that¡¡out¡¡in¡¡the¡¡old¡¡garden¡¡yonder¡¡sing¡¡and¡¡sing¡¡their¡¡best¡¡to¡¡lift¡¡up¡¡my¡¡leaden¡¡heart¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡was¡¡dear¡¡as¡¡the¡¡Spring¡¡itself£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡only¡¡less¡¡dear¡¡than¡¡Autumn¡£

Yes£»¡¡black¡¡confession£¡¡¡after¡¡the¡¡first¡¡passion¡¡of¡¡her¡¡loss£»¡¡the¡¡immediate¡¡ache¡¡of¡¡her¡¡young¡¡beauty¡¡had¡¡passed£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡was¡¡able¡¡to¡¡analyse¡¡what¡¡I¡¡really¡¡felt£»¡¡I¡¡not¡¡only¡¡agreed¡¡with¡¡him£»¡¡I¡¡thanked¡¡God¡¡for¡¡the¡¡Major¡­General£¡¡¡¡¡He¡¡had¡¡saved¡¡me¡¡from¡¡playing¡¡the¡¡terrible¡¡part¡¡of¡¡executioner¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡just¡¡come¡¡in¡¡time¡¡to¡¡behead¡¡the¡¡Lady¡¡Jane¡¡Grey¡¡of¡¡our¡¡dreams¡£

I¡¡should¡¡have¡¡no¡¡qualms¡¡about¡¡tightening¡¡the¡¡rope¡¡round¡¡the¡¡neck¡¡of¡¡some¡¡human¡¡monster£»¡¡or¡¡sticking¡¡a¡¡neat¡¡dagger¡¡or¡¡bullet¡¡into¡¡a¡¡dangerous£»¡¡treacherous¡¡foe£»¡¡but¡¡to¡¡kill¡¡a¡¡dream¡¡is¡¡a¡¡sickening¡¡business¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡goes¡¡on¡¡moaning¡¡in¡¡such¡¡a¡¡heart¡­breaking¡¡fashion£»¡¡and¡¡you¡¡never¡¡know¡¡when¡¡it¡¡is¡¡dead¡£¡¡¡¡All¡¡on¡¡a¡¡sudden¡¡some¡¡night¡¡it¡¡will¡¡come¡¡wailing¡¡in¡¡the¡¡wind¡¡outside¡¡your¡¡window£»¡¡and¡¡you¡¡must¡¡blacken¡¡your¡¡heart¡¡and¡¡harden¡¡your¡¡face¡¡with¡¡another¡¡strangling¡¡grip¡¡of¡¡its¡¡slim¡¡appealing¡¡throat£»¡¡another¡¡blow¡¡upon¡¡its¡¡angel¡¡eyes¡£¡¡¡¡Even¡¡then¡¡it¡¡will¡¡recover£»¡¡and¡¡you¡¡will¡¡go¡¡on¡¡being¡¡a¡¡murderer£»¡¡making¡¡for¡¡yourself¡¡day¡¡by¡¡day¡¡a¡¡murderer's¡¡face£»¡¡without¡¡the¡¡satisfaction¡¡of¡¡having¡¡really¡¡murdered¡£

But¡¡what¡¡of¡¡Nicolete£¿¡¡do¡¡you¡¡exclaim¡£¡¡Have¡¡you¡¡no¡¡thought¡¡for¡¡her£»¡¡bleeding¡¡her¡¡heart¡¡away¡¡in¡¡solitude£¿¡¡¡¡Can¡¡you¡¡so¡¡soon¡¡forget¡¡those¡¡appealing¡¡eyes£¿¡¡¡¡Yes£»¡¡I¡¡have¡¡thought¡¡for¡¡her¡£¡¡¡¡Would¡¡God¡¡that¡¡I¡¡could¡¡bear¡¡for¡¡her¡¡those¡¡growing¡¡pains¡¡of¡¡the¡¡heart£¡¡¡and¡¡I¡¡shall¡¡never¡¡forget¡¡those¡¡farewell¡¡eyes¡£¡¡¡¡But¡¡then£»¡¡you¡¡see£»¡¡I¡¡had¡¡firmly¡¡realised¡¡this£»¡¡that¡¡she¡¡would¡¡sooner¡¡recover¡¡from¡¡our¡¡separation¡¡than¡¡from¡¡our¡¡marriage£»¡¡that¡¡her¡¡love¡¡for¡¡me£»¡¡pretty¡¡and¡¡poignant¡¡and¡¡dramatic¡¡while¡¡it¡¡lasted£»¡¡was¡¡a¡¡book¡­¡¡born£»¡¡book¡­fed¡¡dream£»¡¡which¡¡must¡¡die¡¡soon¡¡or¡¡late£»the¡¡sooner¡¡the¡¡better¡¡for¡¡the¡¡peace¡¡of¡¡the¡¡dreams¡¡that¡¡in¡¡the¡¡course¡¡of¡¡nature¡¡would¡¡soon¡¡spring¡¡up¡¡to¡¡take¡¡its¡¡place¡£

But¡¡while¡¡I¡¡realised¡¡all¡¡this£»¡¡and£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡veritable¡¡aching¡¡of¡¡the¡¡heart¡¡at¡¡the¡¡loss¡¡of¡¡her£»¡¡felt¡¡a¡¡curious¡¡satisfaction¡¡at¡¡the¡¡turn¡¡of¡¡events£»¡¡still¡¡my¡¡own¡¡psychology¡¡became¡¡all¡¡the¡¡more¡¡a¡¡puzzle¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡asked¡¡myself£»¡¡with¡¡some¡¡impatience£»¡¡what¡¡I¡¡would¡¡be¡¡at£»¡¡and¡¡what¡¡it¡¡was¡¡I¡¡really¡¡wanted¡£

Here¡¡had¡¡I¡¡but¡¡a¡¡few¡¡moments¡¡ago¡¡been¡¡holding¡¡in¡¡my¡¡hands¡¡the¡¡very¡¡dream¡¡I¡¡had¡¡set¡¡out¡¡to¡¡find£»¡¡and¡¡here¡¡was¡¡I¡¡secretly¡¡rejoicing¡¡to¡¡be¡¡robbed¡¡of¡¡it£¡¡¡¡¡If¡¡Nicolete¡¡did¡¡not¡¡fulfil¡¡the¡¡conditions¡¡of¡¡that¡¡mystical¡¡Golden¡¡Girl£»¡¡in¡¡professed¡¡search¡¡for¡¡whom¡¡I¡¡had¡¡set¡¡out¡¡that¡¡spring¡¡morning£»¡¡well£»¡¡the¡¡good¡¡genius¡¡of¡¡my¡¡pilgrimage¡¡felt¡¡it¡¡time¡¡to¡¡resign¡£¡¡¡¡Better¡¡give¡¡it¡¡up¡¡at¡¡once£»¡¡and¡¡go¡¡back¡¡to¡¡my¡¡books¡¡and¡¡my¡¡bachelorhood£»¡¡if¡¡I¡¡were¡¡so¡¡difficult¡¡to¡¡please¡£¡¡¡¡No¡¡wonder¡¡my¡¡kind¡¡providence¡¡felt¡¡provoked¡£¡¡It¡¡had¡¡provided¡¡me¡¡with¡¡the¡¡sweetest¡¡pink¡­¡¡and¡­porcelain¡¡dream¡¡of¡¡a¡¡girl£»¡¡and¡¡might¡¡reasonably¡¡have¡¡concluded¡¡that¡¡his¡¡labours¡¡on¡¡my¡¡behalf¡¡were¡¡at¡¡an¡¡end¡£

But£»¡¡really£»¡¡there¡¡is¡¡no¡¡need¡¡to¡¡lecture¡¡me¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡charms¡¡and¡¡virtues¡¡of¡¡Nicolete£»¡¡for¡¡I¡¡loved¡¡them¡¡from¡¡the¡¡first¡¡moment¡¡of¡¡our¡¡strange¡¡introduction£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡dream¡¡of¡¡them¡¡still¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡indeed¡¡only¡¡one¡¡quality¡¡of¡¡womanhood¡¡in¡¡which¡¡she¡¡was¡¡lacking£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡which£»¡¡after¡¡much¡¡serious¡¡self¡­¡¡examination£»¡¡I¡¡discovered¡¡the¡¡reason¡¡of¡¡my¡¡instinctive¡¡self¡­sacrifice¡¡of¡¡her£»SHE¡¡HAD¡¡NEVER¡¡SUFFERED¡£¡¡¡¡As¡¡my¡¡heart¡¡had¡¡warned¡¡me¡¡at¡¡the¡¡beginning£»¡¡¡¨she¡¡was¡¡hoping¡¡too¡¡much¡¡from¡¡life¡¡to¡¡spend¡¡one's¡¡days¡¡with¡£¡¨¡¡¡¡She¡¡lacked¡¡the¡¡subtle¡¡half¡­tones¡¡of¡¡experience¡£¡¡She¡¡lacked¡¡all¡¡that¡¡a¡¡pretty¡¡wrinkle¡¡or¡¡two¡¡might¡¡have¡¡given¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡no¡¡shadowy¡¡melancholy¡¡in¡¡her¡¡sky¡­clear¡¡eyes¡£¡¡¡¡She¡¡was¡¡gay¡¡indeed£»¡¡and¡¡had¡¡a¡¡certain¡¡childish¡¡humour£»¡¡but¡¡she¡¡had¡¡none¡¡of¡¡that¡¡humour¡¡which¡¡comes¡¡of¡¡the¡¡resigned¡¡perception¡¡that¡¡the¡¡world¡¡is¡¡out¡¡of¡¡joint£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡you¡¡were¡¡never¡¡born¡¡to¡¡set¡¡it¡¡right¡£¡¡¡¡These¡¡characteristics¡¡I¡¡had¡¡yet¡¡to¡¡find¡¡in¡¡woman¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡still£»¡¡therefore£»¡¡an¡¡object¡¡to¡¡my¡¡quest¡£¡¡Indeed¡¡my¡¡experience¡¡had¡¡provided¡¡me¡¡with¡¡a¡¡formula¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡was¡¡in¡¡search¡¡of¡¡a¡¡woman¡¡who£»¡¡in¡¡addition¡¡to¡¡every¡¡other¡¡feminine¡¡charm¡¡and¡¡virtue£»¡¡was¡¡a¡¡woman¡¡who¡¡had¡¡suffered¡£

With¡¡this¡¡prayer¡¡I¡¡turned¡¡once¡¡more¡¡to¡¡the¡¡genius¡¡of¡¡my¡¡pilgrimage¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨Grant¡¡me£»¡¨¡¡I¡¡asked£»¡¡¡¨but¡¡thisA¡¡WOMAN¡¡WHO¡¡HAS¡¡SUFFERED£¡¡¨¡¡and£»¡¡apparently¡¡as¡¡a¡¡consequence£»¡¡he¡¡became¡¡once¡¡more¡¡quite¡¡genial¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡mean¡¡that¡¡a¡¡prayer¡¡so¡¡easy¡¡to¡¡grant¡¡would¡¡put¡¡any¡¡god¡¡into¡¡a¡¡good¡¡temper£»¡¡and¡¡possibly¡¡he¡¡smiled¡¡with¡¡a¡¡deeper¡¡meaning¡¡too¡£




BOOK¡¡III



CHAPTER¡¡I


IN¡¡WHICH¡¡I¡¡RETURN¡¡TO¡¡MY¡¡RIGHT¡¡AGE¡¡AND¡¡ENCOUNTER¡¡A¡¡COMMON¡¡OBJECT¡¡OF¡¡THE¡¡COUNTRY

And¡¡so¡¡when¡¡the¡¡days¡¡of¡¡my¡¡mourning¡¡for¡¡Nicolete¡¡were¡¡ended¡¡£¨and¡¡in¡¡this¡¡sentence¡¡I¡¡pass¡¡over¡¡letters¡¡to¡¡and¡¡fro£»letters¡¡wild¡¡from¡¡Nicolete£»¡¡letters¡¡wise¡¡from¡¡Aucassin£»¡¡letters¡¡explanatory¡¡and¡¡apologetic¡¡from¡¡the¡¡Obstaclehow¡¡the¡¡Major¡­General¡¡had¡¡suddenly¡¡come¡¡home¡¡quite¡¡unexpectedly¡¡and¡¡compelled¡¡her¡¡to¡¡explain¡¡Nicolete's¡¡absence£»¡¡etc¡££»¡¡etc¡£¡¡¡¡Dear¡¡Obstacle£¡¡¡I¡¡should¡¡rather¡¡have¡¡enjoyed¡¡a¡¡pilgrimage¡¡with¡¡her¡¡too£©I¡¡found¡¡myself¡¡one¡¡afternoon¡¡again¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡road¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡day¡¡had¡¡been¡¡very¡¡warm¡¡and¡¡dusty£»¡¡and¡¡had¡¡turned¡¡sleepy¡¡towards¡¡tea¡­time¡£

I¡¡had¡¡now¡¡pretty¡¡clearly¡¡in¡¡my¡¡mind¡¡what¡¡I¡¡wanted¡£¡¡¡¡This¡¡time¡¡it¡¡was£»¡¡all¡¡other¡¡things¡¡equal£»¡¡to¡¡be¡¡¡¨a¡¡woman¡¡who¡¡had¡¡suffered£»¡¨¡¡and¡¡to¡¡this¡¡end£»¡¡I¡¡had£»¡¡before¡¡starting¡¡out¡¡once¡¡more£»¡¡changed¡¡my¡¡age¡¡back¡¡again¡¡at¡¡the¡¡inn¡¡and¡¡written¡¡¡¨Aetat¡£¡¡30¡¨¡¡after¡¡my¡¡name¡¡in¡¡the¡¡visitors'¡¡book¡£¡¡¡¡As¡¡a¡¡young¡¡man¡¡I¡¡was¡¡an¡¡evident¡¡failure£»¡¡and¡¡so£»¡¡having¡¡made¡¡the¡¡countersign£»¡¡I¡¡was¡¡speedily¡¡transformed¡¡to¡¡my¡¡old¡¡self£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡must¡¡say¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡a¡¡most¡¡comfortable¡¡feeling£»¡¡something¡¡like¡¡getting¡¡back¡¡again¡¡into¡¡an¡¡old¡¡coat¡¡or¡¡an¡¡old¡¡pair¡¡of¡¡shoes¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡never¡¡wanted¡¡to¡¡be¡¡young¡¡again¡¡as¡¡long¡¡as¡¡I¡¡lived¡£¡¡¡¡Youth¡¡was¡¡too¡¡much¡¡like¡¡the¡¡Sunday¡¡clothes¡¡of¡¡one's¡¡boyhood¡£¡¡¡¡Moreover£»¡¡I¡¡had¡¡a¡¡secret¡¡conviction¡¡that¡¡the¡¡woman¡¡I¡¡was¡¡now¡¡in¡¡search¡¡of¡¡would¡¡prefer¡¡one¡¡who¡¡had¡¡had¡¡some¡¡experience¡¡at¡¡being¡¡a¡¡man£»¡¡who¡¡would¡¡bring¡¡her¡¡not¡¡the¡¡green¡¡plums¡¡of¡¡his¡¡love£»¡¡but¡¡the¡¡cunningly¡¡ripened¡¡nectarines£»¡¡a¡¡man¡¡to¡¡whom¡¡love¡¡was¡¡something¡¡of¡¡an¡¡art¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡an¡¡inspiration¡£

It¡¡was¡¡in¡¡this¡¡frame¡¡of¡¡mind¡¡that¡¡I¡¡came¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡following¡¡scene¡£

The¡¡lane¡¡was¡¡a¡¡very¡¡cloistral¡¡one£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡ribbon¡¡of¡¡gravelly¡¡road£»¡¡bordered¡¡on¡¡each¡¡side¡¡with¡¡a¡¡rich¡¡margin¡¡of¡¡turf¡¡and¡¡a¡¡scramble¡¡of¡¡blackberry¡¡bushes£»¡¡green¡¡turf¡¡banks¡¡and¡¡dwarf¡¡oak¡­trees¡¡making¡¡a¡¡rich¡¡and¡¡plenteous¡¡shade¡£¡¡¡¡My¡¡attention¡¡was¡¡caught¡¡firstly¡¡by¡¡a¡¡bicycle¡¡lying¡¡carelessly¡¡on¡¡the¡¡turf£»¡¡and¡¡secondly¡¡and¡¡lastly¡¡by¡¡a¡¡graceful¡¡woman's¡¡figure£»¡¡recumbent¡¡and¡¡evidently¡¡sleepi

·µ»ØĿ¼ ÉÏÒ»Ò³ ÏÂÒ»Ò³ »Øµ½¶¥²¿ ÔÞ£¨0£© ²È£¨0£©

Äã¿ÉÄÜϲ»¶µÄ