dickory cronke(迪克雷·克龙克)-第4章
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and I have now no more to do in this world but to take my leave of it； for
to…morrow about this time my speech will be again taken from me； and； in
a short time； my fit will return； and the next day； which I understand is the
day on which I came into this troublesome world； I shall exchange it for
another； where； for the future； I shall for ever be free from all manner of
sin and sufferings。
The good woman would have made him a reply； but he prevented her
by telling her he had no time to hearken to unnecessary complaints or
animadversions。 I have a great many things in my mind； says he； that
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require a speedy and serious consideration。 The time I have to stay is but
short； and I have a great deal of important business to do in it。 Time and
death are both in my view； and seem both to call aloud to me to make no
delay。 I beg of you； therefore； not to disquiet yourself or me。 What
must be； must be。 The decrees of Providence are eternal and unalterable；
why； then； should we torment ourselves about that which we cannot
remedy？
I must confess； my dear sister； I owe you many obligations for your
exemplary fondness to me； and do solemnly assure you I shall retain the
sense of them to the last moment。 All that I have to request of you is；
that I may be alone for this night。 I have it in my thoughts to leave some
short observations behind me； and likewise to discover some things of
great weight which have been revealed to me； which may perhaps be of
some use hereafter to you and your friends。 What credit they may meet
with I cannot say； but depend the consequence； according to their
respective periods； will account for them； and vindicate them against the
supposition of falsity and mere suggestion。
Upon this； his sister left him till about four in the morning； when
coming to his bedside to know if he wanted anything； and how he had
rested； he made her this answer； I have been taking a cursory view of my
life； and though I find myself exceedingly deficient in several particulars；
yet I bless God I cannot find I have any just grounds to suspect my pardon。
In short； says he； I have spent this night with more inward pleasure and
true satisfaction than ever I spent a night through the whole course of my
life。
After he had concluded what he had to say upon the satisfaction that
attended an innocent and well…spent life； and observed what a mighty
consolation it was to persons； not only under the apprehension； but even in
the very agonies of death itself； he desired her to bring him his usual cup
of water； and then to help him on with his clothes； that he might sit up； and
so be in a better posture to take his leave of her and her friends。
When she had taken him up； and placed him at a table where he
usually sat； he desired her to bring him his box of papers； and after he had
collected those he intended should be preserved； he ordered her to bring a
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candle； that he might see the rest burnt。 The good woman seemed at first
to oppose the burning of his papers； till he told her they were only useless
trifles； some unfinished observations which he had made in his youthful
days； and were not fit to be seen by her； or anybody that should come after
him。
After he had seen his papers burnt； and placed the rest in their proper
order； and had likewise settled all his other affairs； which was only fit to
be done between himself and his sister； he desired her to call two or three
of the most reputable neighbours； not only to be witnesses of his will； but
likewise to hear what he had farther to communicate before the return of
his fit； which he expected very speedily。
His sister； who had beforehand acquainted two or three of her
confidants with all that had happened； was very much rejoiced to hear her
brother make so unexpected a concession； and accordingly； without any
delay or hesitation； went directly into the neighbourhood； and brought
home her two select friends； upon whose secrecy and sincerity she knew
she might depend upon all accounts。
In her absence he felt several symptoms of the approach of his fit；
which made him a little uneasy； lest it should entirely seize him before he
had perfected his will； but that apprehension was quickly removed by her
speedy return。 After she had introduced her friends into his chamber； he
proceeded to express himself in the following manner； Dear sister； you
now see your brother upon the brink of eternity； and as the words of dying
persons are commonly the most regarded； and make deepest impressions； I
cannot suspect but you will suffer the few I am about to say to have
always some place in your thoughts； that they may be ready for you to
make use of upon any occasion。
Do not be fond of anything on this side of eternity； or suffer your
interest to incline you to break your word； quit your modesty； or to do
anything that will not bear the light； and look the world in the face。 For
be assured of this； the person that values the virtue of his mind and the
dignity of his reason； is always easy and well fortified both against death
and misfortune； and is perfectly indifferent about the length or shortness of
his life。 Such a one is solicitous about nothing but his own conduct； and
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for fear he should be deficient in the duties of religion； and the respective
functions of reason and prudence。
Always go the nearest way to work。 Now； the nearest way through
all the business of human life； are the paths of religion and honesty； and
keeping those as directly as you can； you avoid all the dangerous
precipices that often lie in the road； and sometimes block up the passage
entirely。
Remember that life was but lent at first； and that the remainder is more
than you have reason to expect； and consequently ought to be managed
with more than ordinary diligence。 A wise man spends every day as if it
were his last； his hourglass is always in his hand； and he is never guilty of
sluggishness or insincerity。
He was about to proceed； when a sudden symptom of the return of his
fit put him in mind that it was time to get his will witnessed； which was no
sooner done but he took it up and gave it to his sister； telling her that
though all he had was hers of right； yet he thought it proper； to prevent
even a possibility of a dispute； to write down his mind in the nature of a
will； wherein I have given you； says he； the little that I have left； except
my books and papers； which； as soon as I am dead； I desire may be
delivered to Mr。 Anthony Barlow； a near relation of my worthy master； Mr。
Owen Parry。
This Mr。 Anthony Barlow was an old contemplative Welsh gentleman；
who； being under some difficulties in his own country； was forced to come
into Cornwall and take sanctuary among the tinners。 Dickor
