dona perecta-第40章

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d　waited　for　Pinzon；　who　had　entered　the　house　closely　enveloped　in　his　cloak；　without　speaking　a　word。　He　had　gone　to　his　room　at　the　same　moment　in　which　the　young　lady　descended　to　the　garden。　During　the　interview；　at　which　she　was　not　present；　Librada　had　remained　on　guard　in　the　hall　to　warn　Pinzon；　if　any　danger　should　threaten；　and　at　the　end　of　an　hour　the　latter　had　left　the　house　enveloped　in　his　cloak；　as　before；　and　without　speaking　a　word。　When　the　confession　was　ended　Don　Inocencio　said　to　the　wretched　girl：

〃Are　you　sure　that　the　person　who　came　into　and　went　out　of　the　house　was　Senor　Pinzon？〃

The　culprit　answered　nothing；　but　her　features　expressed　the　utmost　perplexity。

Her　mistress　turned　green　with　anger。

〃Did　you　see　his　face？〃

〃But　who　else　could　it　be　but　he？〃　answered　the　maid。　〃I　am　certain　that　it　was　he。　He　went　straight　to　his　roomhe　knew　the　way　to　it　perfectly　well。〃

〃It　is　strange；〃　said　the　canon。　〃Living　in　the　house　there　was　no　need　for　him　to　use　such　mystery。　He　might　have　pretended　illness　and　remained　in　the　house。　Does　it　not　seem　so　to　you；　senora？〃

〃Librada；〃　exclaimed　the　latter；　in　a　paroxysm　of　anger；　〃I　vow　that　you　shall　go　to　prison。〃

And　clasping　her　hands；　she　dug　the　nails　of　the　one　into　the　other　with　such　force　as　almost　to　draw　blood。

〃Senor　Don　Inocencio；〃　she　exclaimed；　〃let　us　diethere　is　no　remedy　but　to　die。〃

Then　she　burst　into　a　fit　of　inconsolable　weeping。

〃Courage；　senora；〃　said　the　priest；　in　a　moved　voice。　〃Couragenow　it　is　necessary　to　be　very　brave。　This　requires　calmness　and　a　great　deal　of　courage。

〃Mine　is　immense；〃　said　Senora　de　Polentinos；　in　the　midst　of　her　sobs。

〃Mine　is　very　small；〃　said　the　canon；　〃but　we　shall　see；　we　shall　see。〃



CHAPTER　XXIV

THE　CONFESSION

Meanwhile　Rosariowith　her　heart　torn　and　bleeding；　unable　to　shed　tears；　unable　to　be　at　peace　or　rest；　transpierced　by　grief　as　by　a　sharp　sword；　with　her　thoughts　passing　swiftly　from　the　world　to　God　and　from　God　to　the　world；　bewildered　and　half…crazed；　her　hands　clasped；　her　bare　feet　resting　on　the　floorwas　kneeling；　late　in　the　evening；　in　her　own　room；　beside　her　bed；　on　the　edge　of　which　she　rested　her　burning　forehead；　in　darkness；　in　solitude；　and　in　silence。　She　was　careful　not　to　make　the　slightest　noise；　in　order　not　to　attract　the　attention　of　her　mother；　who　was　asleep；　or　seemed　to　be　asleep；　in　the　adjoining　room。　She　lifted　up　her　distracted　thoughts　to　Heaven　in　this　form：

〃Lord；　my　God；　why　is　it　that　before　I　did　not　know　how　to　lie；　and　now　I　know？　Why　did　I　not　know　before　how　to　deceive；　and　now　I　deceive？　Am　I　a　vile　woman？　Is　this　that　I　feel；　is　this　that　is　happening　to　me；　a　fall　from　which　there　can　be　no　arising？　Have　I　ceased　to　be　virtuous　and　good？　I　do　not　recognize　myself。　Is　it　I　or　is　it　some　one　else　who　is　in　this　place？　How　many　terrible　things　in　a　few　days！　How　many　different　sensations！　My　heart　is　consumed　with　all　it　has　felt。　Lord；　my　God；　dost　thou　hear　my　voice；　or　am　I　condemned　to　pray　eternally　without　being　heard？　I　am　good；　nothing　will　convince　me　that　I　am　not　good。　To　love；　to　love　boundlessly；　is　that　wickedness？　But　noit　is　no　illusion；　no　errorI　am　worse　than　the　worst　woman　on　earth。　A　great　serpent　is　within　me；　and　has　fastened　his　poisonous　fangs　in　my　heart。　What　is　this　that　I　feel？　My　God；　why　dost　thou　not　kill　me？　Why　dost　thou　not　plunge　me　forever　into　the　depths　of　hell？　It　is　frightful；　but　I　confess　it　to　the　priestI　hate　my　mother。　Why　is　this？　I　cannot　explain　it　to　myself。　He　has　not　said　a　word　to　me　against　my　mother。　I　do　not　know　how　this　is　come　to　pass。　How　wicked　I　am！　The　demons　have　taken　possession　of　me。　Lord；　come　to　my　help；　for　with　my　own　strength　alone　I　cannot　vanquish　myself。　A　terrible　impulse　urges　me　to　leave　this　house。　I　wish　to　escape；　to　fly　from　it。　If　he　does　not　take　me；　I　will　drag　myself　after　him　through　the　streets。　What　divine　joy　is　this　that　mingles　in　my　breast　with　so　cruel　a　grief？　Lord　God；　my　father；　illumine　me。　I　desire　only　to　love。　I　was　not　born　for　this　hatred　that　is　consuming　me。　I　was　not　born　to　deceive；　to　lie；　to　cheat。　To…morrow　I　will　go　out　into　the　streets　and　cry　aloud　to　all　the　passers…by：　'I　love！　I　hate！'　My　heart　will　relieve　itself　in　this　way。　What　happiness　it　would　be　to　be　able　to　reconcile　every　thing；　to　love　and　respect　every　one！　May　the　Most　Holy　Virgin　protect　me。　Again　that　terrible　idea！　I　don't　wish　to　think　it；　and　I　think　it。　Ah！　I　cannot　deceive　myself　in　regard　to　this。　I　can　neither　destroy　it　nor　diminish　itbut　I　can　confess　it；　and　I　confess　it；　saying　to　thee：　'Lord；　I　hate　my　mother！'　〃

At　last　she　fell　into　a　doze。　In　her　uneasy　sleep　her　imagination　reproduced　in　her　mind　all　she　had　done　that　night；　distorting　it；　without　altering　it　in　substance。　She　heard　again　the　clock　of　the　cathedral　striking　nine；　she　saw　with　joy　the　old　servant　fall　into　a　peaceful　sleep；　and　she　left　the　room　very　slowly；　in　order　to　make　no　noise；　she　descended　the　stairs　softly；　step　by　step　and　on　tiptoe；　in　order　to　avoid　making　the　slightest　sound。　She　went　into　the　garden；　going　around　through　the　servants'　quarters　and　the　kitchen；　in　the　garden　she　paused　for　a　moment　to　look　up　at　the　sky；　which　was　dark　and　studded　with　stars。　The　wind　was　hushed。　Not　a　breath　disturbed　the　profound　stillness　of　the　night。　It　seemed　to　maintain　a　fixed　and　silent　attentionthe　attention　of　eyes　that　look　without　winking　and　ears　that　listen　attentively；　awaiting　a　great　event。　The　night　was　watching。

She　then　approached　the　glass　door　of　the　dining…room　and　looked　cautiously　through　it；　from　a　little　distance；　fearing　that　those　within　might　perceive　her。　By　the　light　of　the　dining…room　lamp　she　saw　her　mother　sitting　with　her　back　toward　her。　The　Penitentiary　was　on　her　right；　and　his　profile　seemed　to　undergo　a　strange　transformation；　his　nose　grew　larger　and　larger；　seeming　like　the　beak　of　some　fabulous　bird；　and　his　whole　face　became　a　black　silhouette　with　angles　here　and　there；　sharp　derisive；　irritating。　In　front　of　him　sat　Caballuco；　who　resembled　a　dragon　rather　than　a　man。　Rosario　could　see　his　green　eyes；　like　two　lanterns　of　convex　glass。　This　glow；　and　the　imposing　figure　of　the　animal；　inspired　her　with　fear。　Uncle　Licurgo　and　the　other　three　men　appeared　to　her　imagination　like　grotesque　little　figures。　She　had　seen　somewhere；　doubtless　in　some　of　the　clay　figures　at　the　fairs；　that　foolish　smile；　those　coarse　faces；　that　stupid　look。　The　dragon　moved　his　arms　which；　instead　of　gesticulating；　turned　round；　like　the　arms　of　a　windmill；　and　the　green　globes；　like　the　lights　of　a　pharmacy；　moved　from　side　to　side。　His　glance　was　blinding。　The　conversation　appeared　to　be　interesting。　The　Penitentiary　was　flapping　his　wings。　He　was　a　presumptuous　bird；　who　tried　to　fly　and　could　not。　His　beak　lengthened　itself；　twisting　round　and　round。　His　feathers　stood　out；　as　if　with　rage；　and　then；　collecting　himself　and　becoming　pacified；　he　hid　his　bald　head　under　his　wings。　Then　the　little　clay　figures　began　to　move；　wishing　to　be　persons；　and　Frasquito　Gonzalez　was　trying　to　pass　for　a　man。

Rosario　felt　an　inexplicable　terror；　witnessing　this　friendly　conference。　She　went　away　from　the　door　and　advanced；　step　by　step；　looking　around　her　to　see　if　she　was　observed。　Although　she　saw　no　one；　she　fancied　that　a　million　eyes　were　fastened　upon　her。　But　suddenly　her　fears　and　her　shame　were　dispelled。　At　the　window　of　the　room　occupied　by　Senor　Pinzon　appeared　a　man；　dressed　in　blue；　the　buttons　on　his　coat　shone　like　rows　of　little　lights。　She　approached。　At　the　same　instant　she　felt　a　pair　of　arms　with　galloons　lift　her　up　as　if　she　were　a　feather　and　with　a　swift　movement　place　her　in　the　room。　All　was　changed。　Suddenly　a　crash　was　heard；　a　violent　blow　that　shook　the　house　to　its　foundations。　Neither　knew　the　cause　of　the　noise。　They　trembled　and　were　silent。

It　was　the　moment　in　which　the　dragon　had　broken　the　table　in　the　dining…room。



CHAPTER　XXV

UNFORESEEN　EVENTSA　PASSING　DISAGREEMENT

The　scene　changes。　We　see　before　us　a　handsome　room；　bright；　modest；　gay；　comfortable；　and　surprisingly　cl