camille-第6章

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eized；　and　I　have　nothing　of　my　own。

〃Do　you　understand；　my　friend？　I　am　dying；　and　from　my　bed　I　can　hear　a　man　walking　to　and　fro　in　the　drawing…room；　my　creditors　have　put　him　there　to　see　that　nothing　is　taken　away；　and　that　nothing　remains　to　me　in　case　I　do　not　die。　I　hope　they　will　wait　till　the　end　before　they　begin　to　sell。

〃Oh；　men　have　no　pity！　or　rather；　I　am　wrong；　it　is　God　who　is　just　and　inflexible！

〃And　now；　dear　love；　you　will　come　to　my　sale；　and　you　will　buy　something；　for　if　I　put　aside　the　least　thing　for　you；　they　might　accuse　you　of　embezzling　seized　goods。

〃It　is　a　sad　life　that　I　am　leaving！

〃It　would　be　good　of　God　to　let　me　see　you　again　before　I　die。　According　to　all　probability；　good…bye；　my　friend。　Pardon　me　if　I　do　not　write　a　longer　letter；　but　those　who　say　they　are　going　to　cure　me　wear　me　out　with　bloodletting；　and　my　hand　refuses　to　write　any　more。

　　　〃MARGUERITE　GAUTIER。〃

The　last　two　words　were　scarcely　legible。　I　returned　the　letter　to　Armand；　who　had；　no　doubt；　read　it　over　again　in　his　mind　while　I　was　reading　it　on　paper；　for　he　said　to　me　as　he　took　it：

〃Who　would　think　that　a　kept　woman　could　have　written　that？〃　And；　overcome　by　recollections；　he　gazed　for　some　time　at　the　writing　of　the　letter；　which　he　finally　carried　to　his　lips。

〃And　when　I　think；〃　he　went　on；　〃that　she　died　before　I　could　see　her；　and　that　I　shall　never　see　her　again；　when　I　think　that　she　did　for　me　what　no　sister　would　ever　have　done；　I　can　not　forgive　myself　for　having　left　her　to　die　like　that。　Dead！　Dead　and　thinking　of　me；　writing　and　repeating　my　name；　poor　dear　Marguerite！〃

And　Armand；　giving　free　outlet　to　his　thoughts　and　his　tears；　held　out　his　hand　to　me；　and　continued：

〃People　would　think　it　childish　enough　if　they　saw　me　lament　like　this　over　a　dead　woman　such　as　she；　no　one　will　ever　know　what　I　made　that　woman　suffer；　how　cruel　I　have　been　to　her！　how　good；　how　resigned　she　was！　I　thought　it　was　I　who　had　to　forgive　her；　and　to…day　I　feel　unworthy　of　the　forgiveness　which　she　grants　me。　Oh；　I　would　give　ten　years　of　my　life　to　weep　at　her　feet　for　an　hour！〃

It　is　always　difficult　to　console　a　sorrow　that　is　unknown　to　one；　and　nevertheless　I　felt　so　lively　a　sympathy　for　the　young　man；　he　made　me　so　frankly　the　confidant　of　his　distress；　that　I　believed　a　word　from　me　would　not　be　indifferent　to　him；　and　I　said：

〃Have　you　no　parents；　no　friends？　Hope。　Go　and　see　them；　they　will　console　you。　As　for　me；　I　can　only　pity　you。〃

〃It　is　true；〃　he　said；　rising　and　walking　to　and　fro　in　the　room；　〃I　am　wearying　you。　Pardon　me；　I　did　not　reflect　how　little　my　sorrow　must　mean　to　you；　and　that　I　am　intruding　upon　you　something　which　can　not　and　ought　not　to　interest　you　at　all。〃

〃You　mistake　my　meaning。　I　am　entirely　at　your　service；　only　I　regret　my　inability　to　calm　your　distress。　If　my　society　and　that　of　my　friends　can　give　you　any　distraction；　if；　in　short；　you　have　need　of　me；　no　matter　in　what　way；　I　hope　you　will　realize　how　much　pleasure　it　will　give　me　to　do　anything　for　you。〃

〃Pardon；　pardon；〃　said　he；　〃sorrow　sharpens　the　sensations。　Let　me　stay　here　for　a　few　minutes　longer；　long　enough　to　dry　my　eyes；　so　that　the　idlers　in　the　street　may　not　look　upon　it　as　a　curiosity　to　see　a　big　fellow　like　me　crying。　You　have　made　me　very　happy　by　giving　me　this　book。　I　do　not　know　how　I　can　ever　express　my　gratitude　to　you。〃

〃By　giving　me　a　little　of　your　friendship；〃　said　I；　〃and　by　telling　me　the　cause　of　your　suffering。　One　feels　better　while　telling　what　one　suffers。〃

〃You　are　right。　But　to…day　I　have　too　much　need　of　tears；　I　can　not　very　well　talk。　One　day　I　will　tell　you　the　whole　story；　and　you　will　see　if　I　have　reason　for　regretting　the　poor　girl。　And　now；〃　he　added；　rubbing　his　eyes　for　the　last　time；　and　looking　at　himself　in　the　glass；　〃say　that　you　do　not　think　me　too　absolutely　idiotic；　and　allow　me　to　come　back　and　see　you　another　time。〃

He　cast　on　me　a　gentle　and　amiable　look。　I　was　near　embracing　him。　As　for　him；　his　eyes　again　began　to　fill　with　tears；　he　saw　that　I　perceived　it　and　turned　away　his　head。

〃Come；〃　I　said；　〃courage。〃

〃Good…bye；〃　he　said。

And；　making　a　desperate　effort　to　restrain　his　tears；　he　rushed　rather　than　went　out　of　the　room。

I　lifted　the　curtain　of　my　window；　and　saw　him　get　into　the　cabriolet　which　awaited　him　at　the　door；　but　scarcely　was　he　seated　before　he　burst　into　tears　and　hid　his　face　in　his　pocket…handkerchief。



Chapter　5

A　good　while　elapsed　before　I　heard　anything　more　of　Armand；　but；　on　the　other　hand；　I　was　constantly　hearing　of　Marguerite。

I　do　not　know　if　you　have　noticed；　if　once　the　name　of　anybody　who　might　in　the　natural　course　of　things　have　always　remained　unknown；　or　at　all　events　indifferent　to　you；　should　he　mentioned　before　you；　immediately　details　begin　to　group　themselves　about　the　name；　and　you　find　all　your　friends　talking　to　you　about　something　which　they　have　never　mentioned　to　you　before。　You　discover　that　this　person　was　almost　touching　you　and　has　passed　close　to　you　many　times　in　your　life　without　your　noticing　it；　you　find　coincidences　in　the　events　which　are　told　you；　a　real　affinity　with　certain　events　of　your　own　existence。　I　was　not　absolutely　at　that　point　in　regard　to　Marguerite；　for　I　had　seen　and　met　her；　I　knew　her　by　sight　and　by　reputation；　nevertheless；　since　the　moment　of　the　sale；　her　name　came　to　my　ears　so　frequently；　and；　owing　to　the　circumstance　that　I　have　mentioned　in　the　last　chapter；　that　name　was　associated　with　so　profound　a　sorrow；　that　my　curiosity　increased　in　proportion　with　my　astonishment。　The　consequence　was　that　whenever　I　met　friends　to　whom　I　had　never　breathed　the　name　of　Marguerite；　I　always　began　by　saying：

〃Did　you　ever　know　a　certain　Marguerite　Gautier？〃

〃The　Lady　of　the　Camellias？〃

〃Exactly。〃

〃Oh；　very　well！〃

The　word　was　sometimes　accompanied　by　a　smile　which　could　leave　no　doubt　as　to　its　meaning。

〃Well；　what　sort　of　a　girl　was　she？〃

〃A　good　sort　of　girl。〃

〃Is　that　all？〃

〃Oh；　yes；　more　intelligence　and　perhaps　a　little　more　heart　than　most。〃

〃Do　you　know　anything　particular　about　her？〃

〃She　ruined　Baron　de　G。〃

〃No　more　than　that？〃

〃She　was　the　mistress　of　the　old　Duke　of　。　。　。〃

〃Was　she　really　his　mistress？〃

〃So　they　say；　at　all　events；　he　gave　her　a　great　deal　of　money。〃

The　general　outlines　were　always　the　same。　Nevertheless　I　was　anxious　to　find　out　something　about　the　relations　between　Marguerite　and　Armand。　Meeting　one　day　a　man　who　was　constantly　about　with　known　women；　I　asked　him：　〃Did　you　know　Marguerite　Gautier？〃

The　answer　was　the　usual：　〃Very　well。〃

〃What　sort　of　a　girl　was　she？〃

〃A　fine；　good　girl。　I　was　very　sorry　to　hear　of　her　death。〃

〃Had　she　not　a　lover　called　Armand　Duval？〃

〃Tall　and　blond？〃

〃Yes。

〃It　is　quite　true。〃

〃Who　was　this　Armand？〃

〃A　fellow　who　squandered　on　her　the　little　money　he　had；　and　then　had　to　leave　her。　They　say　he　was　quite　wild　about　it。〃

〃And　she？〃

〃They　always　say　she　was　very　much　in　love　with　him；　but　as　girls　like　that　are　in　love。　It　is　no　good　to　ask　them　for　what　they　can　not　give。〃

〃What　has　become　of　Armand？〃

〃I　don't　know。　We　knew　him　very　little。　He　was　with　Marguerite　for　five　or　six　months　in　the　country。　When　she　came　back；　he　had　gone。〃

〃And　you　have　never　seen　him　since？〃

〃Never。〃

I；　too；　had　not　seen　Armand　again。　I　was　beginning　to　ask　myself　if；　when　he　had　come　to　see　me；　the　recent　news　of　Marguerite's　death　had　not　exaggerated　his　former　love；　and　consequently　his　sorrow；　and　I　said　to　myself　that　perhaps　he　had　already　forgotten　the　dead　woman；　and　along　with　her　his　promise　to　come　and　see　me　again。　This　supposition　would　have　seemed　probable　enough　in　most　instances；　but　in　Armand's　despair　there　had　been　an　accent　of　real　sincerity；　and；　going　from　one　extreme　to　another；　I　imagined　that　distress　had　brought　on　an　illness；　and　that　my　not　seeing　him　was　explained　by　the　fact　that　he　was　ill；　perhaps　dead。

I　was　interested　in　the　young　man　in　spite　of　myself。　Perhaps　there　was　some　selfishness　in　this　interest；　perhaps　I　guessed　at　some　pathetic　love