camille-第34章

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The　weather　was　fine；　he　walked　with　me　as　far　as　the　station。　Never　had　I　been　so　happy。　The　future　appeared　as　I　had　long　desired　to　see　it。　I　had　never　loved　my　father　as　I　loved　him　at　that　moment。

Just　as　I　was　leaving　him；　he　once　more　begged　me　to　stay。　I　refused。

〃You　are　really　very　much　in　love　with　her？〃　he　asked。

〃Madly。〃

〃Go；　then；〃　and　he　passed　his　hand　across　his　forehead　as　if　to　chase　a　thought；　then　opened　his　mouth　as　if　to　say　something；　but　he　only　pressed　my　hand；　and　left　me　hurriedly；　saying：

〃Till　to…morrow；　then！〃



Chapter　22

It　seemed　to　me　as　if　the　train　did　not　move。　I　reached　Bougival　at　eleven。

Not　a　window　in　the　house　was　lighted　up；　and　when　I　rang　no　one　answered　the　bell。　It　was　the　first　time　that　such　a　thing　had　occurred　to　me。　At　last　the　gardener　came。　I　entered。　Nanine　met　me　with　a　light。　I　went　to　Marguerite's　room。

〃Where　is　madame？〃

〃Gone　to　Paris；〃　replied　Nanine。

〃To　Paris！〃

〃Yes；　sir。〃

〃When？〃

〃An　hour　after　you。〃

〃She　left　no　word　for　me？〃

〃Nothing。〃

Nanine　left　me。

Perhaps　she　had　some　suspicion　or　other；　I　thought；　and　went　to　Paris　to　make　sure　that　my　visit　to　my　father　was　not　an　excuse　for　a　day　off。　Perhaps　Prudence　wrote　to　her　about　something　important。　I　said　to　myself　when　I　was　alone；　but　I　saw　Prudence；　she　said　nothing　to　make　me　suppose　that　she　had　written　to　Marguerite。

All　at　once　I　remembered　Mme。　Duvernoy's　question；　〃Isn't　she　coming　to…day？〃　when　I　had　said　that　Marguerite　was　ill。　I　remembered　at　the　same　time　how　embarrassed　Prudence　had　appeared　when　I　looked　at　her　after　this　remark；　which　seemed　to　indicate　an　appointment。　I　remembered；　too；　Marguerite's　tears　all　day　long；　which　my　father's　kind　reception　had　rather　put　out　of　my　mind。　From　this　moment　all　the　incidents　grouped　themselves　about　my　first　suspicion；　and　fixed　it　so　firmly　in　my　mind　that　everything　served　to　confirm　it；　even　my　father's　kindness。

Marguerite　had　almost　insisted　on　my　going　to　Paris；　she　had　pretended　to　be　calmer　when　I　had　proposed　staying　with　her。　Had　I　fallen　into　some　trap？　Was　Marguerite　deceiving　me？　Had　she　counted　on　being　back　in　time　for　me　not　to　perceive　her　absence；　and　had　she　been　detained　by　chance？　Why　had　she　said　nothing　to　Nanine；　or　why　had　she　not　written？　What　was　the　meaning　of　those　tears；　this　absence；　this　mystery？

That　is　what　I　asked　myself　in　affright；　as　I　stood　in　the　vacant　room；　gazing　at　the　clock；　which　pointed　to　midnight；　and　seemed　to　say　to　me　that　it　was　too　late　to　hope　for　my　mistress's　return。　Yet；　after　all　the　arrangements　we　had　just　made；　after　the　sacrifices　that　had　been　offered　and　accepted；　was　it　likely　that　she　was　deceiving　me？　No。　I　tried　to　get　rid　of　my　first　supposition。

Probably　she　had　found　a　purchaser　for　her　furniture；　and　she　had　gone　to　Paris　to　conclude　the　bargain。　She　did　not　wish　to　tell　me　beforehand；　for　she　knew　that；　though　I　had　consented　to　it；　the　sale；　so　necessary　to　our　future　happiness；　was　painful　to　me；　and　she　feared　to　wound　my　self…respect　in　speaking　to　me　about　it。　She　would　rather　not　see　me　till　the　whole　thing　was　done；　and　that　was　evidently　why　Prudence　was　expecting　her　when　she　let　out　the　secret。　Marguerite　could　not　finish　the　whole　business　to…day；　and　was　staying　the　night　with　Prudence；　or　perhaps　she　would　come　even　now；　for　she　must　know　bow　anxious　I　should　be；　and　would　not　wish　to　leave　me　in　that　condition。　But；　if　so；　why　those　tears？　No　doubt；　despite　her　love　for　me；　the　poor　girl　could　not　make　up　her　mind　to　give　up　all　the　luxury　in　which　she　had　lived　until　now；　and　for　which　she　had　been　so　envied；　without　crying　over　it。　I　was　quite　ready　to　forgive　her　for　such　regrets。　I　waited　for　her　impatiently；　that　I　might　say　to　her；　as　I　covered　her　with　kisses；　that　I　had　guessed　the　reason　of　her　mysterious　absence。

Nevertheless；　the　night　went　on；　and　Marguerite　did　not　return。

My　anxiety　tightened　its　circle　little　by　little；　and　began　to　oppress　my　head　and　heart。　Perhaps　something　had　happened　to　her。　Perhaps　she　was　injured；　ill；　dead。　Perhaps　a　messenger　would　arrive　with　the　news　of　some　dreadful　accident。　Perhaps　the　daylight　would　find　me　with　the　same　uncertainty　and　with　the　same　fears。

The　idea　that　Marguerite　was　perhaps　unfaithful　to　me　at　the　very　moment　when　I　waited　for　her　in　terror　at　her　absence　did　not　return　to　my　mind。　There　must　be　some　cause；　independent　of　her　will；　to　keep　her　away　from　me；　and　the　more　I　thought；　the　more　convinced　I　was　that　this　cause　could　only　be　some　mishap　or　other。　O　vanity　of　man；　coming　back　to　us　in　every　form！

One　o'clock　struck。　I　said　to　myself　that　I　would　wait　another　hour；　but　that　at　two　o'clock；　if　Marguerite　had　not　returned；　I　would　set　out　for　Paris。　Meanwhile　I　looked　about　for　a　book；　for　I　dared　not　think。　Manon　Lescaut　was　open　on　the　table。　It　seemed　to　me　that　here　and　there　the　pages　were　wet　as　if　with　tears。　I　turned　the　leaves　over　and　then　closed　the　book；　for　the　letters　seemed　to　me　void　of　meaning　through　the　veil　of　my　doubts。

Time　went　slowly。　The　sky　was　covered　with　clouds。　An　autumn　rain　lashed　the　windows。　The　empty　bed　seemed　at　moments　to　assume　the　aspect　of　a　tomb。　I　was　afraid。

I　opened　the　door。　I　listened；　and　heard　nothing　but　the　voice　of　the　wind　in　the　trees。　Not　a　vehicle　was　to　be　seen　on　the　road。　The　half　hour　sounded　sadly　from　the　church　tower。

I　began　to　fear　lest　some　one　should　enter。　It　seemed　to　me　that　only　a　disaster　could　come　at　that　hour　and　under　that　sombre　sky。

Two　o'clock　struck。　I　still　waited　a　little。　Only　the　sound　of　the　bell　troubled　the　silence　with　its　monotonous　and　rhythmical　stroke。

At　last　I　left　the　room；　where　every　object　had　assumed　that　melancholy　aspect　which　the　restless　solitude　of　the　heart　gives　to　all　its　surroundings。

In　the　next　room　I　found　Nanine　sleeping　over　her　work。　At　the　sound　of　the　door；　she　awoke　and　asked　if　her　mistress　had　come　in。

〃No；　but　if　she　comes　in；　tell　her　that　I　was　so　anxious　that　I　had　to　go　to　Paris。〃

〃At　this　hour？〃

〃Yes。

〃But　how？　You　won't　find　a　carriage。〃

〃I　will　walk。〃

〃But　it　is　raining。〃

〃No　matter。〃

〃But　madame　will　be　coming　back；　or　if　she　doesn't　come　it　will　be　time　enough　in　the　morning　to　go　and　see　what　has　kept　her。　You　will　be　murdered　on　the　way。〃

〃There　is　no　danger；　my　dear　Nanine；　I　will　see　you　to…morrow。〃

The　good　girl　went　and　got　me　a　cloak；　put　it　over　my　shoulders；　and　offered　to　wake　up　Mme。　Arnould　to　see　if　a　vehicle　could　be　obtained；　but　I　would　hear　of　nothing；　convinced　as　I　was　that　I　should　lose；　in　a　perhaps　fruitless　inquiry；　more　time　than　I　should　take　to　cover　half　the　road。　Besides；　I　felt　the　need　of　air　and　physical　fatigue　in　order　to　cool　down　the　over…　excitement　which　possessed　me。

I　took　the　key　of　the　flat　in　the　Rue　d'Antin；　and　after　saying　good…bye　to　Nanine；　who　came　with　me　as　far　as　the　gate；　I　set　out。

At　first　I　began　to　run；　but　the　earth　was　muddy　with　rain；　and　I　fatigued　myself　doubly。　At　the　end　of　half　an　hour　I　was　obliged　to　stop；　and　I　was　drenched　with　sweat。　I　recovered　my　breath　and　went　on。　The　night　was　so　dark　that　at　every　step　I　feared　to　dash　myself　against　one　of　the　trees　on　the　roadside；　which　rose　up　sharply　before　me　like　great　phantoms　rushing　upon　me。

I　overtook　one　or　two　wagons；　which　I　soon　left　behind。　A　carriage　was　going　at　full　gallop　toward　Bougival。　As　it　passed　me　the　hope　came　to　me　that　Marguerite　was　in　it。　I　stopped　and　cried　out；　〃Marguerite！　Marguerite！〃　But　no　one　answered　and　the　carriage　continued　its　course。　I　watched　it　fade　away　in　the　distance；　and　then　started　on　my　way　again。　I　took　two　hours　to　reach　the　Barriere　de　l'Etoile。　The　sight　of　Paris　restored　my　strength；　and　I　ran　the　whole　length　of　the　alley　I　had　so　often　walked。

That　night　no　one　was　passing；　it　was　like　going　through　the　midst　of　a　dead　city。　The　dawn　began　to　break。　When　I　reached　the　Rue　d'Antin　the　great　city　stirred　a　little　before　quite　awakening。　Five　o'clock　struck　at　the　church　of　Saint　Roch　at　the　moment　when　I　entered　Marguerite's　house。　I　called　out　my　name　to　the　porter；　who