camille-第18章

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〃Ah；　indeed！　Well；　to　return　to　you。　Marguerite　asked　me　all　about　you：　who　you　were；　what　you　did；　what　mistresses　you　had　had；　in　short；　everything　that　one　could　ask　about　a　man　of　your　age。　I　told　her　all　I　knew；　and　added　that　you　were　a　charming　young　man。　That's　all。〃

〃Thanks。　Now　tell　me　what　it　was　she　wanted　to　say　to　you　last　night。〃

〃Nothing　at　all。　It　was　only　to　get　rid　of　the　count；　but　I　have　really　something　to　see　her　about　to…day；　and　I　am　bringing　her　an　answer　now。〃

At　this　moment　Marguerite　reappeared　from　her　dressing…room；　wearing　a　coquettish　little　nightcap　with　bunches　of　yellow　ribbons；　technically　known　as　〃cabbages。〃　She　looked　ravishing。　She　had　satin　slippers　on　her　bare　feet；　and　was　in　the　act　of　polishing　her　nails。

〃Well；〃　she　said；　seeing　Prudence；　〃have　you　seen　the　duke？〃

〃Yes；　indeed。〃

〃And　what　did　he　say　to　you？〃

〃He　gave　me〃

〃How　much？〃

〃Six　thousand。〃

〃Have　you　got　it？〃

〃Yes。

〃Did　he　seem　put　out？〃

〃No。〃

〃Poor　man！〃

This　〃Poor　man！〃　was　said　in　a　tone　impossible　to　render。　Marguerite　took　the　six　notes　of　a　thousand　francs。

〃It　was　quite　time；〃　she　said。　〃My　dear　Prudence；　are　you　in　want　of　any　money？〃

〃You　know；　my　child；　it　is　the　15th　in　a　couple　of　days；　so　if　you　could　lend　me　three　or　four　hundred　francs；　you　would　do　me　a　real　service。〃

〃Send　over　to…morrow；　it　is　too　late　to　get　change　now。〃

〃Don't　forget。〃

〃No　fear。　Will　you　have　supper　with　us？〃

〃No；　Charles　is　waiting　for　me。〃

〃You　are　still　devoted　to　him？〃

〃Crazy；　my　dear！　I　will　see　you　to…morrow。　Good…bye；　Armand。〃

Mme。　Duvernoy　went　out。

Marguerite　opened　the　drawer　of　a　side…table　and　threw　the　bank…notes　into　it。

〃Will　you　permit　me　to　get　into　bed？〃　she　said　with　a　smile；　as　she　moved　toward　the　bed。

〃Not　only　permit；　but　I　beg　of　you。〃

She　turned　back　the　covering　and　got　into　bed。

〃Now；〃　said　she；　〃come　and　sit　down　by　me；　and　let's　have　a　talk。〃

Prudence　was　right：　the　answer　that　she　had　brought　to　Marguerite　had　put　her　into　a　good　humour。

〃Will　you　forgive　me　for　my　bad　temper　tonight？〃　she　said；　taking　my　hand。

〃I　am　ready　to　forgive　you　as　often　as　you　like。〃

〃And　you　love　me？〃

〃Madly。〃

〃In　spite　of　my　bad　disposition？〃

〃In　spite　of　all。〃

〃You　swear　it？〃

〃Yes；〃　I　said　in　a　whisper。

Nanine　entered；　carrying　plates；　a　cold　chicken；　a　bottle　of　claret；　and　some　strawberries。

〃I　haven't　had　any　punch　made；〃　said　Nanine；　〃claret　is　better　for　you。　Isn't　it；　sir？〃

〃Certainly；〃　I　replied；　still　under　the　excitement　of　Marguerite's　last　words；　my　eyes　fixed　ardently　upon　her。

〃Good；〃　said　she；　〃put　it　all　on　the　little　table；　and　draw　it　up　to　the　bed；　we　will　help　ourselves。　This　is　the　third　night　you　have　sat　up；　and　you　must　be　in　want　of　sleep。　Go　to　bed。　I　don't　want　anything　more。〃

〃Shall　I　lock　the　door？〃

〃I　should　think　so！　And　above　all；　tell　them　not　to　admit　anybody　before　midday。〃



Chapter　12

At　five　o'clock　in　the　morning；　as　the　light　began　to　appear　through　the　curtains；　Marguerite　said　to　me：　〃Forgive　me　if　I　send　you　away；　but　I　must。　The　duke　comes　every　morning；　they　will　tell　him；　when　he　comes；　that　I　am　asleep；　and　perhaps　he　will　wait　until　I　wake。〃

I　took　Marguerite's　head　in　my　hands；　her　loosened　hair　streamed　about　her；　I　gave　her　a　last　kiss；　saying：　〃When　shall　I　see　you　again？〃

〃Listen；〃　she　said；　〃take　the　little　gilt　key　on　the　mantelpiece；　open　that　door；　bring　me　back　the　key　and　go。　In　the　course　of　the　day　you　shall　have　a　letter；　and　my　orders；　for　you　know　you　are　to　obey　blindly。〃

〃Yes；　but　if　I　should　already　ask　for　something？〃

〃What？〃

〃Let　me　have　that　key。〃

〃What　you　ask　is　a　thing　I　have　never　done　for　any　one。〃

〃Well；　do　it　for　me；　for　I　swear　to　you　that　I　don't　love　you　as　the　others　have　loved　you。〃

〃Well；　keep　it；　but　it　only　depends　on　me　to　make　it　useless　to　you；　after　all。〃

〃How？〃

〃There　are　bolts　on　the　door。〃

〃Wretch！〃

〃I　will　have　them　taken　off。〃

〃You　love；　then；　a　little？〃

〃I　don't　know　how　it　is；　but　it　seems　to　me　as　if　I　do！　Now；　go；　I　can't　keep　my　eyes　open。〃

I　held　her　in　my　arms　for　a　few　seconds　and　then　went。

The　streets　were　empty；　the　great　city　was　still　asleep；　a　sweet　freshness　circulated　in　the　streets　that　a　few　hours　later　would　be　filled　with　the　noise　of　men。　It　seemed　to　me　as　if　this　sleeping　city　belonged　to　me；　I　searched　my　memory　for　the　names　of　those　whose　happiness　I　had　once　envied；　and　I　could　not　recall　one　without　finding　myself　the　happier。

To　be　loved　by　a　pure　young　girl；　to　be　the　first　to　reveal　to　her　the　strange　mystery　of　love；　is　indeed　a　great　happiness；　but　it　is　the　simplest　thing　in　the　world。　To　take　captive　a　heart　which　has　had　no　experience　of　attack；　is　to　enter　an　unfortified　and　ungarrisoned　city。　Education；　family　feeling；　the　sense　of　duty；　the　family；　are　strong　sentinels；　but　there　are　no　sentinels　so　vigilant　as　not　to　be　deceived　by　a　girl　of　sixteen　to　whom　nature；　by　the　voice　of　the　man　she　loves；　gives　the　first　counsels　of　love；　all　the　more　ardent　because　they　seem　so　pure。

The　more　a　girl　believes　in　goodness；　the　more　easily　will　she　give　way；　if　not　to　her　lover；　at　least　to　love；　for　being　without　mistrust　she　is　without　force；　and　to　win　her　love　is　a　triumph　that　can　be　gained　by　any　young　man　of　five…and…twenty。　See　how　young　girls　are　watched　and　guarded！　The　walls　of　convents　are　not　high　enough；　mothers　have　no　locks　strong　enough；　religion　has　no　duties　constant　enough；　to　shut　these　charming　birds　in　their　cages；　cages　not　even　strewn　with　flowers。　Then　how　surely　must　they　desire　the　world　which　is　hidden　from　them；　how　surely　must　they　find　it　tempting；　how　surely　must　they　listen　to　the　first　voice　which　comes　to　tell　its　secrets　through　their　bars；　and　bless　the　hand　which　is　the　first　to　raise　a　corner　of　the　mysterious　veil！

But　to　be　really　loved　by　a　courtesan：　that　is　a　victory　of　infinitely　greater　difficulty。　With　them　the　body　has　worn　out　the　soul；　the　senses　have　burned　up　the　heart；　dissipation　has　blunted　the　feelings。　They　have　long　known　the　words　that　we　say　to　them；　the　means　we　use；　they　have　sold　the　love　that　they　inspire。　They　love　by　profession；　and　not　by　instinct。　They　are　guarded　better　by　their　calculations　than　a　virgin　by　her　mother　and　her　convent；　and　they　have　invented　the　word　caprice　for　that　unbartered　love　which　they　allow　themselves　from　time　to　time；　for　a　rest；　for　an　excuse；　for　a　consolation；　like　usurers；　who　cheat　a　thousand；　and　think　they　have　bought　their　own　redemption　by　once　lending　a　sovereign　to　a　poor　devil　who　is　dying　of　hunger　without　asking　for　interest　or　a　receipt。

Then；　when　God　allows　love　to　a　courtesan；　that　love；　which　at　first　seems　like　a　pardon；　becomes　for　her　almost　without　penitence。　When　a　creature　who　has　all　her　past　to　reproach　herself　with　is　taken　all　at　once　by　a　profound；　sincere；　irresistible　love；　of　which　she　had　never　felt　herself　capable；　when　she　has　confessed　her　love；　how　absolutely　the　man　whom　she　loves　dominates　her！　How　strong　he　feels　with　his　cruel　right　to　say：　You　do　no　more　for　love　than　you　have　done　for　money。　They　know　not　what　proof　to　give。　A　child；　says　the　fable；　having　often　amused　himself　by　crying　〃Help！　a　wolf！〃　in　order　to　disturb　the　labourers　in　the　field；　was　one　day　devoured　by　a　Wolf；　because　those　whom　he　had　so　often　deceived　no　longer　believed　in　his　cries　for　help。　It　is　the　same　with　these　unhappy　women　when　they　love　seriously。　They　have　lied　so　often　that　no　one　will　believe　them；　and　in　the　midst　of　their　remorse　they　are　devoured　by　their　love。

Hence　those　great　devotions；　those　austere　retreats　from　the　world；　of　which　some　of　them　have　given　an　example。

But　when　the　man　who　inspires　this　redeeming　love　is　great　enough　in　soul　to　receive　it　without　remembering　the　past；　when　he　gives　himself　up　to　it；　when；　in　short；　he　loves　as　he　is　loved；　this　man　drains　at　one　draught　all　earthly　emotions；　and　after　such　a　love　his　heart　will　be　closed　to　every　other。

I　did　not　make　these　reflections　on　the　morning　when　I　returned　home。　They　could　but　have　been　the　presenti