bureaucracy-第29章

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principal　clerks　and　stick　their　heads　on　fowls；　put　them　in　a

monstrous　coop　labelled　'Civil　Service　executions'；　make　him　cutting

the　throat　of　one；　and　supposed　to　take　the　others　in　turn。　You　can

have　geese　and　ducks　with　heads　like　ours；you　understand！　Baudoyer；

for　instance；　he'll　make　an　excellent　turkey…buzzard。〃



Bixiou。　〃Ris　d'aboyeur　d'oie！〃　＇He　has　watched　Dutocq　carefully　for

some　time。＇　〃Did　you　think　of　that　yourself？〃



Dutocq。　〃Yes；　I　myself。〃



Bixiou　＇to　himself＇。　〃Do　evil　feelings　bring　men　to　the　same　result　as

talents？〃　＇Aloud＇　〃Well；　I'll　do　it〃　＇Dutocq　makes　a　motion　of

delight＇　〃when〃　＇full　stop＇　〃I　know　where　I　am　and　what　I　can　rely

on。　If　you　don't　succeed　I　shall　lose　my　place；　and　I　must　make　a

living。　You　are　a　curious　kind　of　innocent　still；　my　dear　colleague。〃



Dutocq。　〃Well；　you　needn't　make　the　lithograph　till　success　is

proved。〃



Bixiou。　〃Why　don't　you　come　out　and　tell　me　the　whole　truth？〃



Dutocq。　〃I　must　first　see　how　the　land　lays　in　the　bureau；　we　will

talk　about　it　later〃　＇goes　off＇。



Bixiou　＇alone　in　the　corridor＇。　〃That　fish；　for　he's　more　a　fish　than

a　bird；　that　Dutocq　has　a　good　idea　in　his　headI'm　sure　I　don't　know

where　he　stole　it。　If　Baudoyer　should　succeed　La　Billardiere　it　would

be　fun；　more　than　funprofit！〃　＇Returns　to　the　office。＇　〃Gentlemen；　I

announce　glorious　changes；　papa　La　Billardiere　is　dead；　really　dead；

no　nonsense；　word　of　honor！　Godard　is　off　on　business　for　our

excellent　chief　Baudoyer；　successor　presumptive　to　the　deceased。〃

＇Minard；　Desroys；　and　Colleville　raise　their　heads　in　amazement；　they

all　lay　down　their　pens；　and　Colleville　blows　his　nose。＇　〃Every　one　of

us　is　to　be　promoted！　Colleville　will　be　under…head…clerk　at　the　very

least。　Minard　may　have　my　place　as　chief　clerkwhy　not？　he　is　quite

as　dull　as　I　am。　Hey；　Minard；　if　you　should　get　twenty…five　hundred

francs　a…year　your　little　wife　would　be　uncommonly　pleased；　and　you

could　buy　yourself　a　pair　of　boots　now　and　then。〃



Colleville。　〃But　you　don't　get　twenty…five　hundred　francs。〃



Bixiou。　〃Monsieur　Dutocq　gets　that　in　Rabourdin's　office；　why

shouldn't　I　get　it　this　year？　Monsieur　Baudoyer　gets　it。〃



Colleville。　〃Only　through　the　influence　of　Monsieur　Saillard。　No　other

chief　clerk　gets　that　in　any　of　the　divisions。〃



Paulmier。　〃Bah！　Hasn't　Monsieur　Cochin　three　thousand？　He　succeeded

Monsieur　Vavasseur；　who　served　ten　years　under　the　Empire　at　four

thousand。　His　salary　was　dropped　to　three　when　the　King　first

returned；　then　to　two　thousand　five　hundred　before　Vavasseur　died。　But

Monsieur　Cochin；　who　succeeded　him；　had　influence　enough　to　get　the

salary　put　back　to　three　thousand。〃



Colleville。　〃Monsieur　Cochin　signs　E。　A。　L。　Cochin　（he　is　named　Emile…

Adolphe…Lucian）；　which；　when　anagrammed；　gives　Cochineal。　Now　observe；

he's　a　partner　in　a　druggist's　business　in　the　rue　des　Lombards；　the

Maison　Matifat；　which　made　its　fortune　by　that　identical　colonial

product。〃



Baudoyer　＇entering＇。　〃Monsieur　Chazelle；　I　see；　is　not　here；　you　will

be　good　enough　to　say　I　asked　for　him；　gentlemen。〃



Bixiou　＇who　had　hastily　stuck　a　hat　on　Chazelle's　chair　when　he　heard

Baudoyer's　step＇。　〃Excuse　me；　Monsieur；　but　Chazelle　has　gone　to　the

Rabourdins'　to　make　an　inquiry。〃



Chazelle　＇entering　with　his　hat　on　his　head；　and　not　seeing　Baudoyer＇。

〃La　Billardiere　is　done　for；　gentlemen！　Rabourdin　is　head　of　the

division　and　Master　of　petitions；　he　hasn't　stolen　HIS　promotion；

that's　very　certain。〃



Baudoyer　＇to　Chazelle＇。　〃You　found　that　appointment　in　your　second

hat；　I　presume〃　＇points　to　the　hat　on　the　chair＇。　〃This　is　the　third

time　within　a　month　that　you　have　come　after　nine　o'clock。　If　you

continue　the　practice　you　will　get　onelsewhere。〃　＇To　Bixiou；　who　is

reading　the　newspaper。＇　〃My　dear　Monsieur　Bixiou；　do　pray　leave　the

newspapers　to　these　gentlemen　who　are　going　to　breakfast；　and　come

into　my　office　for　your　orders　for　the　day。　I　don't　know　what　Monsieur

Rabourdin　wants　with　Gabriel；　he　keeps　him　to　do　his　private　errands；

I　believe。　I've　rung　three　times　and　can't　get　him。〃　＇Baudoyer　and

Bixiou　retire　into　the　private　office。＇



Chazelle。　〃Damned　unlucky！〃



Paulmier　＇delighted　to　annoy　Chazelle＇。　〃Why　didn't　you　look　about

when　you　came　into　the　room？　You　might　have　seen　the　elephant；　and　the

hat　too；　they　are　big　enough　to　be　visible。〃



Chazelle　＇dismally＇。　〃Disgusting　business！　I　don't　see　why　we　should

be　treated　like　slaves　because　the　government　gives　us　four　francs　and

sixty…five　centimes　a　day。〃



Fleury　＇entering＇。　〃Down　with　Baudoyer！　hurrah　for　Rabourdin！that's

the　cry　in　the　division。〃



Chazelle　＇getting　more　and　more　angry＇。　〃Baudoyer　can　turn　off　me　if

he　likes；　I　sha'n't　care。　In　Paris　there　are　a　thousand　ways　of

earning　five　francs　a　day；　why；　I　could　earn　that　at　the　Palais　de

Justice；　copying　briefs　for　the　lawyers。〃



Paulmier　＇still　prodding　him＇。　〃It　is　very　easy　to　say　that；　but　a

government　place　is　a　government　place；　and　that　plucky　Colleville；

who　works　like　a　galley…slave　outside　of　this　office；　and　who　could

earn；　if　he　lost　his　appointment；　more　than　his　salary；　prefers　to

keep　his　place。　Who　the　devil　is　fool　enough　to　give　up　his

expectations？〃



Chazelle　＇continuing　his　philippic＇。　〃You　may　not　be；　but　I　am！　We

have　no　chances　at　all。　Time　was　when　nothing　was　more　encouraging

than　a　civil…service　career。　So　many　men　were　in　the　army　that　there

were　not　enough　for　the　government　work；　the　maimed　and　the　halt　and

the　sick　ones；　like　Paulmier；　and　the　near…sighted　ones；　all　had　their

chance　of　a　rapid　promotion。　But　now；　ever　since　the　Chamber　invented

what　they　called　special　training；　and　the　rules　and　regulations　for

civil…service　examiners；　we　are　worse　off　than　common　soldiers。　The

poorest　places　are　at　the　mercy　of　a　thousand　mischances　because　we

are　now　ruled　by　a　thousand　sovereigns。〃



Bixiou　＇returning＇。　〃Are　you　crazy；　Chazelle？　Where　do　you　find　a

thousand　sovereigns？not　in　your　pocket；　are　they？〃



Chazelle。　〃Count　them　up。　There　are　four　hundred　over　there　at　the　end

of　the　pont　de　la　Concorde　（so　called　because　it　leads　to　the　scene　of

perpetual　discord　between　the　Right　and　Left　of　the　Chamber）；　three

hundred　more　at　the　end　of　the　rue　de　Tournon。　The　court；　which　ought

to　count　for　the　other　three　hundred；　has　seven　hundred　parts　less

power　to　get　a　man　appointed　to　a　place　under　government　than　the

Emperor　Napoleon　had。〃



Fleury。　〃All　of　which　signifies　that　in　a　country　where　there　are

three　powers　you　may　bet　a　thousand　to　one　that　a　government　clerk　who

has　no　influence　but　his　own　merits　to　advance　him　will　remain　in

obscurity。〃



Bixiou　＇looking　alternately　at　Chazelle　and　Fleury＇。　〃My　sons；　you

have　yet　to　learn　that　in　these　days　the　worst　state　of　life　is　the

state　of　belonging　to　the　State。〃



Fleury。　〃Because　it　has　a　constitutional　government。〃



Colleville。　〃Gentlemen；　gentlemen！　no　politics！〃



Bixiou。　〃Fleury　is　right。　Serving　the　State　in　these　days　is　no　longer

serving　a　prince　who　knew　how　to　punish　and　reward。　The　State　now　is

EVERYBODY。　Everybody　of　course　cares　for　nobody。　Serve　everybody；　and

you　serve　nobody。　Nobody　is　interested　in　nobody；　the　government　clerk

lives　between　two　negations。　The　world　has　neither　pity　nor　respect；

neither　heart　nor　head；　everybody　forgets　to…morrow　the　service　of

yesterday。　Now　each　one　of　you　may　be；　like　Monsieur　Baudoyer；　an

administrative　genius；　a　Chateaubriand　of　reports；　a　Bossouet　of

circulars；　the　Canalis　of　memorials；　the　gifted　son　of　diplomatic

despatches；　but　I　tell　you　there　is　a　fatal　law　which　interferes　with

all　administrative　genius；I　mean　the　law　of　promotion　by　average。

This　average　is　based　on　the　statistics　of　promotion　and　the

statistics　of　mortality　combined。　It　is　very　certain　that　on　entering

whichever　section　of　the　Civil　Service　you　please